


Way Out

by GleekMom



Series: Ready to Fly [6]
Category: Glee
Genre: Ready to Fly Series, Season 3 Companion Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-15 07:25:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 118,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4598010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GleekMom/pseuds/GleekMom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 6 of Ready to Fly Series: It's a new year at McKinley and Blaine has joined New Directions. Kurt can't be more thrilled, but his enthusiasm is tested when Blaine develops a friendship with Santana. Season 3 Companion Story: Canon with Blaintana off-screen friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Purple Piano Project

**Author's Note:**

> As with all of this series, this story is ideally read along with an episode rewatch. 
> 
> I was intrigued by the idea of a Blaine/Santana friendship for a long time, and teased it in Chapter 6 of Hold On. Ryan Murphy was nice enough to provide me with some material and inspiration to move forward for the rest of the series. Thanks Glee!
> 
> I always try to remain as canon as possible while still telling my own stories. My Blaine backstory is and always will be my own as presented in the earlier parts of this series. The Blaintana friendship is largely off screen, but there were perfect moments on screen too that were constantly gifted to me.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta for this story, typegirl19. Thanks for sticking with me for so long.

" _Santana, you like playing both sides, isn't that right?"_

Coach Sylvester's words reverberated in Santana's head and she shivered, unable to force them away. Maybe getting kicked out of Glee was for the best. Away from the song and dance and drama, securely Captain of the Cheerios, well co-captain, maybe she could escape the nagging thoughts in her head. Of course, there were times when her heart still fluttered for Brittany. But for the most part she had been able to move on over the summer.  _Oh who am I kidding,_ she thought. It was fear that kept her inside the closet. Fear that kept her on "Team Sue." It was fear that kept her from having the one person she truly wanted and no one really understood; not Quinn, not Brittany, not even Kurt. Santana sat on her bed with her knees pulled up, flipping her phone in her hands. She stared at the number on the screen, then shut it off and threw it aside. But before she could even think of something else to do, her hand reached back out, turning the phone back on and studying the number. She was wrong. He understood. He had told her she wasn't alone. She dropped her head on her knees, and flipped the phone in her hands again. Did she have the strength to reach out to him?

* * *

Kurt and Blaine were sitting on the loveseat in Kurt's home, where they had spent so many days and nights over the summer. Only this time, much to Blaine's chagrin, they were doing homework. Blaine had no desire to be working, he had other things in mind, but Kurt insisted that good grades would be extremely important to his acceptance to the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts. So here they sat, Kurt on one side of the couch with his Western Civilization book propped on the arm of the loveseat, and Blaine on the other, King Lear in hand, bare feet crossed comfortably on Kurt's lap. Kurt looked over to Blaine studying his book and smiled. Blaine always looked so serious studying with his adorable eyebrows scrunched and forehead furrowed. This was what this year was going to be about. The two of them just  _being_ together, not having to  _do_  anything.

As soon as Kurt returned his gaze to his history book though, Blaine's expression turned mischievous. Blaine nonchalantly adjusted his foot to just the perfect spot in Kurt's lap and massaged his toes into Kurt. Kurt's face immediately went red as he squirmed and shot Blaine an incensed look.

"What?" Blaine asked, feigning innocence. "Just getting comfortable," he said with a sly grin.

"You know exactly what you were doing Blaine Anderson," Kurt scolded.

Blaine threw his book over his shoulder, put his feet down and leaned into Kurt. "And you know that you like it," Blaine winked.

"I have to study Blaine," Kurt weakly protested as Blaine's lips slowly came closer to his own.

"So do I," Blaine whispered cupping the back of Kurt's head and pulling him in passionately. Kurt fought for only a second as Blaine sucked Kurt's bottom lip and offered him the delicious taste of his kiss. All resolve gone Kurt's hands wandered beneath Blaine's shirt to stroke the amazing skin and muscles of his boyfriend. Their breathing increased as their heartbeats started to rise. Kurt slid his hands down to Blaine's always so sexy jeans and he grasped his hips roughly. They pulled in close to each other, until both boys were surprised by the vibration under Kurt's hand.

Kurt's head fell backward on the couch in frustration as Blaine pulled away laughing and took his phone out of his pocket. He looked at the number and Kurt saw his brow crease and his eyebrows rise in question. "Sorry," Blaine whispered to Kurt, then answered the phone.

"Santana?" he asked into the phone as he got up from the couch and moved away from Kurt toward the kitchen.

 _Santana?_ thought Kurt.  Kurt wondered how she even had Blaine's phone number. Then he remembered Blaine's audition in the courtyard earlier that week. Santana had had her hands all over him and Blaine hadn't seemed to mind. In fact, he seemed to greatly enjoy shaking his hips with her. Kurt felt an unexpected and likely uncalled for jealousy arise but he couldn't help it. He knew Santana was nothing but trouble, and he didn't want her involved with Blaine in any way. She had set the piano on fire and had sided with Coach Sylvester. Mr. Schuester had kicked her out of Glee Club. Was she trying to use Blaine to get back in? Or worse? Kurt started to feel a bit ill.

"Ok, I'll meet you in 30 minutes," Kurt heard Blaine tell her in the phone and hung up.

"I'm sorry babe, I have to go," Blaine apologized.

Kurt got up to meet him. "What could Santana possibly have to talk to you about that is more important than…this?" Kurt asked indignantly.

Blaine shrugged, looking a bit guilty to Kurt. "It's…nothing Kurt, don't worry about it," he said, kissing Kurt chastely on the lips.

Kurt looked at him, arms crossed, head cocked with both anger and concern. "Santana doesn't play fair, Blaine, remember that. Whatever she has in store for you, whatever she is trying to get you to do, it isn't good."

Blaine looked at Kurt with his earnest and comforting eyes. "It isn't like that, Kurt." He took his boyfriend's hand. "Trust me please," he asked.

Kurt softened. "I do trust you. It's Santana I don't trust at all," he said with a pout.

"I love you," Blaine responded and he pulled Kurt in for a kiss. Kurt couldn't resist his embrace and melted into him.

"I love you too," he said walking Blaine to the door.

As Blaine walked out to his car with his always endearing swagger, he stretched his muscular arm out and pointed to Kurt who still had the door open. "Now get back to studying," he said with a laugh.

"Yes Sir," Kurt snickered, and he closed the door.


	2. I Am Unicorn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The best and most challenging part of this series was writing after each episode with nothing but spoilers to go on for the following chapter. I wrote most chapters in 5 days, typically updating a day or two before the next episode. So even though I wrote these years ago, I'm going to include relevant parts of my original author's notes because I think they're a huge part of the experience. :-)
> 
>  ***Just watched "I Am Unicorn." Utter perfection, I loved every minute (with one minor exception). With little Blaine and even less Santana, it did not impact this chapter much. 
> 
> I decided to add a quick flashback to the Blaine/Santana scene I wrote for Hold On, for those of you that haven't read it or read it a while ago.
> 
> And as always, I don't own Glee. So sad.***

Santana sat at her favorite getaway waiting for Blaine to arrive. She had already been there for about 20 minutes and she had gotten up to leave three times, each time changing her mind again to see this through. She really wasn't sure what had led her to call the boy, but every time her head had said no, her heart drew her back again. She had felt an affinity for him since the first time they had met. He didn't know, but when she stood up to David during the Night of Neglect, it was as much for Blaine as it was for Kurt. She thought both boys could use the help. Of course, she knew now it had been unnecessary. She was blown away by Blaine's courage to stand up in front of the entire school and take Kurt's hand for the Prom Queen dance. Santana had spent the whole night dancing with Dave, all the while staring at Brittany, too afraid to make the same move.

Santana thought back to the night two weeks ago at Kurt's house, when the Warblers and New Directions had joined together to support Blaine after everything went down with his father. Even then, amongst friends, she had stood against the wall watching Brittany dance with Wes and Jeff instead of asking her to dance herself. Blaine had noticed and had come over.

" _Why don't you get in there and dance?" Blaine asked casually._

" _What's it matter to you?" Santana snapped back at him._

" _You think I don't notice my own look in your eyes?" Blaine asked, nonchalantly leaning against the wall next to her, crossing his arms across his chest. "It doesn't work, you know, living with secrets. It feels like it does, like you have everything under control. But at some point, it will all unravel. And when that happens, you need people around you. You need someone that loves you," he said glancing at Kurt across the room._

_Santana looked over at Blaine, and her eyes softened slightly. Blaine turned his head to study her._

" _Give me your phone," he ordered suddenly, holding his hand out._

" _Why?" she asked suspiciously._

" _Just give it to me," he said, grabbing it from her hand._

_Blaine entered his number into her contacts, and handed it back. "You're not alone, Santana. I know it feels like you are, but you're not. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. Until then, hold on," he said, giving her hand a quick squeeze and disappearing into the crowd._

He had recognized her in himself. And she did as well. He was quite a handsome young man who could spend his life passing for straight if he wanted. And yet he chose to withstand abuse and ultimately abandonment from his father to live his life out of the closet. She wanted to know why. And how.

Yet, Santana hid herself from everyone but Brittany, the only person with whom she felt safe. She questioned how she could possibly know she was safe with Blaine. Part of her felt she was, but her head would not stop the constant noise saying otherwise. Her head started to swim. No. She couldn't come out to him. She couldn't tell him her fears. She couldn't ask him how to embrace the courage he did. She couldn't trust him. She couldn't do this. Santana got up for the fourth time to leave, when she saw Blaine walk by the window of the restaurant. It was too late, he had already arrived. For the fourth and final time, she took her seat again, and took a deep breath.

* * *

Blaine entered the Night Town jazz club and informed the host that he was meeting a young lady there. The host asked if his name was Blaine Anderson and, surprised, he said yes. He was informed that Ms. Santana Lopez was waiting for him in the concert room and was led inside. Blaine took in his surroundings and immediately felt at home in the intimate and inviting dining room, as he listened to the smooth and sultry music of the jazz musician on the stage in front of him. He was led to a rounded booth toward the back of the room, and he caught the eye of Santana.  Thanking the maître d', he took a seat.

The two glanced at each other quickly, then Santana returned her gaze to the stage. Blaine knew better than to push her. She had asked him here, and he would let her go at her own pace. He picked up the menu in front of him and studied it. A waiter arrived and he ordered the Chevre Chicken, which sounded delicious with goat cheese, shallots, walnuts and a cherry compote. He truly had his eye on the angus beef prime rib, but money was tighter these days than it used to be. Santana ordered on the lighter side, a Louisiana salad. Blaine smiled to himself at her choice of the spicy Cajun fair. He noted as the waiter took her order, that he seemed quite familiar with Santana.

"Come here often?" he asked nonchalantly, picking up his water glass and taking a drink.

Santana nodded. "It's a good place to be alone. To think. And the music is fantastic," she added, still keeping her eyes trained in front of her. She again went quiet.

Blaine could agree with that. He filled the silence listening to the amazing sounds coming from the artists on the stage and looking at the pictures of famous jazz musicians decorating the walls. He felt no need to force conversation. The two were comfortable, both in their element of great music and atmosphere. He had told her to call and he would come. The rest was up to her.

"Does Kurt know you're here?" Santana asked nervously.

"I was with him when you called," Blaine shared. "So yes, he knows I'm with you."

That gave Santana an opening to fall back into familiar and safe patterns. She looked at him slyly. "Hope I didn't interrupt you gettin' a piece of that…"

"Santana…" Blaine warned, blushing.

But her anxiety with the whole situation only increased her sassiness.

"Well I saw that hug in the hallway at school. Surprised you didn't just throw him up against the lockers right there," she sneered.

"Santana!" Blaine quietly admonished, his heart rate picking up.

Santana looked away. Blaine was sure that her snide remarks were entirely a deflection for her to avoid her own issues. But knowing that, didn't make it less frustrating. He breathed, trying to find his patience. As it returned, Santana turned to him, although she could not look him in the eye.

"How do you do it?" she asked in almost a whisper. "In the middle of the school…?" This time Blaine noticed she couldn't even say the words. "Don't you care what people are going to think?"

Blaine looked at her, so scared and unsure. He wished that she would show the world the real Santana. "The truth is, I care a hell of a lot more about what Kurt thinks of us than about what anyone else thinks of us."

Santana considered that. She couldn't say that about Brittany, or anyone. That was the problem. She cared way too much about what everyone thought of her. It gave her power, and she put that power before anything else. Without power she was vulnerable, and that was far too dangerous. The two again sat in silence until their drinks came. Blaine had ordered a coke and Santana peered over to him. "I have a little something you can add to that if you like," she said, patting the purse next to her.

Blaine turned to her suspiciously, looking her straight in the eye. "Do you always carry alcohol around with you, or is this a special treat for me?"

"Worked for Rachel," Santana said with a feisty smile and a wink.

"And this is why Kurt didn't want me to come," Blaine muttered rolling his eyes. He shot back. "Let me be very clear about something Santana. I am here to support you or help you or hang out with you or whatever you need. But I'm not here to cheat on my boyfriend or let you pretend you're something you're not. So why don't you cut the crap. We can talk or we can sit in silence and listen to the music, but I'm not playing  _this_  game with you."

Santana stared at him for a few moments, bitter retorts and defensive insults running through her mind. She could take his cue and leave right now, and she made a decision to do it. But standing up, once again, her heart took over. She turned to him despite herself. "Fine, Mr. Anderson. You want to listen, listen to this," she said, and she strode up the stage.

Blaine was left dumbfounded at the table, as he watched Santana speak with the piano and saxophone players. She grabbed the microphone, and gave the pianist a nod. When the [B.B King song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1c7t-35Fuo) started, Blaine sat back with a grin.

_I play the street life_  
_Because there's no place I can go_  
_Street life_  
_And it's the only life I know_  
_Street life_  
_And there's a thousand parts to play_  
_Street life_  
_Until you play your life away_

Santana sang from her heart, the words she could not say. She had never explained herself to anyone like this before, not even Brittany. Brittany would never understand. She had the innocence of a child, who never understood why anyone would need to hide their true self. But Blaine, he understood. He had lived it as well.

_You let the people see_  
_Just who you want to be_  
_And every night you shine_  
_just like a super star_  
_That's how the life is played_  
_A ten cent Masquerade_  
_You dress, and walk, and talk_  
_you're who you think you are_

The song brought back so many memories for Blaine. Happy memories of Dalton, but also the mask the secluded school had helped him put on. The beautiful lie that he told of how everything was perfect and he was exactly who everyone wanted him to be. He still did it sometimes. He had done it the first day in the choir room at McKinley, just smiling and saying little when Finn called him out. It had only been two weeks, and old habits were hard to break. He still always tried to please. It was something he was still working on.

_Street life_  
_You can run away from time_  
_Street life_  
_For a nickel and a dime_  
_Street life_  
_But you better not get old_  
_Street life_  
_Or you're gonna feel the cold_

Santana knew that at some point in her life, she would need to come out. She would need to be open and honest about who she was. But she knew that for now, she didn't have the skills. Maybe Blaine could face life without his father, but she wasn't sure she could. She loved her family, they were close. She knew her coming out would disappoint them. But that wasn't the worst for her. Winning and popularity were things she needed like air. She needed to be on top, and no matter how accepting everyone was, she was certain she would lose that place if they knew who she really was.

_There's always love for sale_  
_A grown-up fairy tale_  
_Prince charming always smiles_  
_behind a silver spoon_  
_And if you keep it young_  
_Your song is always sung_  
_Your love will pay your way_  
_beneath the silver moon_

Blaine could hear the pain in Santana's voice. He could see the conflict on her face. He knew that this wasn't her. He had worn the mask quite well. He had learned so well this past summer that when someone was ready to expose their truth, the words would come. But he had long known that it shouldn't happen until someone was ready, and Santana wasn't ready. The phone call, the dinner, the song. It was only a test to see if he would be there for her when she was. Santana put the microphone away, thanked the musicians, and returned to her seat. She kept her eyes on the plates of food now being delivered, and slowly started to eat. Blaine took her hand, and she startled a moment, staring at their clasped hands and then Blaine's stunning hazel eyes. She had never seen so much sincerity in one single glance before. When he spoke, she held her breath.

"Someone once told me, when you are ready, the words will come," he looked at Santana and she stared back with eyes glistening. "And when they do, I will be here for you. Do you trust me?"

He waited as Santana studied him. For her, it was the biggest question in the world. And for the first time in her life, she nodded her head in response. "Yes," she answered quietly. "I trust you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Night Town Jazz Club is a real club in Cleveland, OH. Clearly it's relocated in this fic to closer to Lima. Check it out!


	3. Slushied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***So I don't seem to be following my original plan of posting after each episode, but I am too inspired and RIB's not reading my mind. So instead, I bring you chapter 3, which is still really before I am Unicorn.***

Blaine spied Kurt with his locker open, getting his morning books and supplies. He loved seeing his Warbler picture with the courage collage still inside, even now. It felt like only yesterday and a lifetime ago, but it remained an inspiration to him as much as Kurt. Blaine sauntered over and leaned back against the lockers, arms folded across his chest. He looked up at his boyfriend, eyes sparkling with love and affection. "Good Morning," he greeted with a grin.

Kurt turned to Blaine, broken out of his morning haze and smiled warmly. "Do you know how much I love having you here every morning?" Kurt asked.

Blaine shook his head playfully. "No. How much?" he asked teasing Kurt with his eyes and smile.

Kurt ignored the fluttering feelings in his stomach that those eyes caused. "So much, that I will forego my morning hairspray for fear of suffocating you," he teased back.

"Oh well, I do appreciate that! I wouldn't want to harm my lungs before the big West Side Story audition."

"Auditions aren't until later this week," Kurt reminded. "We don't even know who's directing yet." Kurt grew quiet as he concentrated heavily on something in his locker. "So tell me how your date with Santana went last night."

Kurt smiled at him, but Blaine knew his boyfriend well enough to see the anxiety behind his expression. Blaine looked at Kurt with assurance. "It wasn't a date," he reminded Kurt.

"Well then what was it?" Kurt asked with a failed semblance of casualness.

"Private," Blaine answered seriously. Kurt started to argue, but Blaine quickly stopped him. "Boundaries and respect, Kurt," Blaine reprimanded in reminder. "Even for Santana." Kurt dropped his head. He had invaded Blaine's privacy over the summer and disrespected his wishes. He had promised never to do it again. He looked to Blaine's hand and reached out for it. Glancing up at Blaine, he took a deep breath and smiled feebly. "Hold On?" he asked apologetically.

Blaine studied the most adorably perfect boy in front of him. He was proud of Kurt. He couldn't even put into words how much he loved him. He nodded his head with a smile that melted Kurt's heart and grabbed his hand. "Hold On," he agreed, as the two took off down the hallway toward classes, hand in hand.

* * *

Santana watched the scene between Kurt and Blaine discreetly. She told Blaine last night that she trusted him and here was his chance to prove to her that she had been wrong. For a moment, she was certain that he would tell Kurt everything. But he didn't. He had kept their conversation private. And now the two walked down the hallways of McKinley, hand in hand for all to see. She watched them, in awe of their ease and comfort. Smiling, joking with each other, Kurt teasingly bumping his hip into Blaine's. She wished for just a moment, that she could have the courage to someday do the same.

Then suddenly, SPLASH! None of the three singers saw it coming when two blue Slushies flew out and hit Kurt and Blaine straight in their faces. The boys stopped short, but the letterman jackets kept walking.

"That'll cool you off fags!" they yelled as they continued laughing down the hall.

Santana's hard shell immediately returned, blocking every precious and vulnerable emotion she'd ever felt. She was and had always been right. They would never be safe here.

Kurt stopped when the icy slushie hit him. Usually he saw it coming and could prepare, but this time he was distracted. Stupid and distracted. The cold hit him like a ton of bricks. He wanted to cry, but not for himself. He was used to it, but this was Blaine's first time and it hit him what it truly meant for Blaine to leave the safe halls of Dalton Academy. He instantly regretted everything over the summer, he wanted to take it all back just to avoid this moment. He was about to tell him all that, when Blaine turned to him and laughed.

"You're right Kurt," he said as blue slushie dripped down his face, down his shirt, and into his pants. "This is the coldest and stickiest freakin' thing that I have ever experienced in my life!"

Kurt looked at him, tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Blaine."

Blaine just cocked his head and looked at Kurt with a grin. "Are you kidding me?" He leaned in closely to Kurt and whispered with the sultry teasing voice that drove Kurt wild. "The way that slushie just drips down your body into places I can only imagine, you are so hot right now. Let's get out of these clothes and…"

"Ok boys," Santana interrupted loudly, separating them and clasping both their elbows with her two hands. "Let's get you both cleaned up," she said, leading them to the girl's bathroom.

* * *

Blaine stood with his head under the water of the bathroom sink. Aside from seeing Kurt covered in the icy blue slushie, having his boyfriend run his fingers through his wet hair was definitely the best part of the frozen attack. Blaine's mind quickly daydreamed of him and Kurt in the shower together, shampooing each other's hair, letting the water run down their bodies until every last bubble of soap had run down the drain. Then slowly they would…

"I think that's enough there Kurt, the two of you are starting to smoke you're so hot for each other," Santana quipped and the boys both shot apart, their twin blushes now reaching their cheeks in embarrassment. Santana leaned against another sink and threw Blaine a towel to dry off.

Blaine blotted his head dry, then let the towel drop as he brushed his hair with his fingers. Santana stared. Kurt smiled. Blaine looked at them both curiously. "What?"

Kurt merely shook his head. Blaine knew that he preferred the curls to his slicked back look, but Blaine struggled to make the change. He knew Kurt didn't really understand, but it was the last part of his mask and his life at Dalton.  It was safety and he wasn't ready to give it up yet.

Santana stared at the gorgeous man before her. If she were going to go for a guy, and that was a big if, Blaine would certainly be tops on her list. If, of course, he were straight. Which clearly he was not. It pissed her off that everything couldn't just be simple.

Kurt caught Santana eyeing Blaine, and quickly grabbed his hand. "Come on, we need to get clean clothes from our lockers."

"I'll get them," Blaine said with what Kurt liked to call his perfect boyfriend smile. "You stay here."

"You don't know my locker combination," Kurt protested, not wanting to stay with Santana.

"Of course I do," Blaine said with a grin as he walked out the door.

"Wait, what?" Kurt followed him, but Blaine let the door slam behind him. Kurt turned back around to face Santana, flustered. He instinctually crossed his arms in front his chest in a defensive stance.

"So, Hummel." Kurt rolled his eyes at the sickeningly sweet sing song voice Santana used when she wanted something. Kurt had known Santana a long time and he knew this would not end well. "What did Blaine tell you about our little date last night?"

"You're kidding, right?" Kurt scoffed. "He's kept secrets his whole life. If he told you he wouldn't say anything to anyone then he won't, even to me." Santana raised her eyebrows at Kurt, but let him continue as he moved toward the girl. "I am warning you, do not mess with him, or us. I've seen you break up every couple in this school with a smile on your face. You hate to see anyone happy. You and Coach Sylvester are two peas in a pod, you deserve each other. Blaine is just fresh meat to you and probably the only guy other than me at this school you haven't slept with. Drool all you like, Santana, because those are pants you will never get into."

Santana glared at Kurt, her fury only rising. "Okay Hummel, your jealousy?" Santana snarled with a flip of her head and a finger wag, "not your best feature." Kurt just stared back at her incredulous as she continued with her typical sassiness. "So let me tell you two things. One, your boyfriend loves you and he's not going to cheat on you. Ya know how I know? I tried." She paused as Kurt's jaw dropped. "And two, your boyfriend is hot. And both girls and guys are gonna be trying to get that sexy ass his entire life. So if you're gonna be with him? You best get used to it."

Kurt stood speechless, as Blaine entered the bathroom with a smile, carrying two pairs of clean clothing in bags. His face immediately dropped though, as soon as he felt the tension in the room. Kurt looked as if Santana had just struck him in the face, and Santana was standing facing him with her hands on her hips, attitude pouring from every fiber of her being. Blaine glared at Santana, who simply shrugged and sauntered over to the door, ruffling Blaine's uncoifed hair as she walked out of the bathroom.

Blaine stared after her for a moment in confusion, then turned his attention to his boyfriend, who still hadn't moved. Blaine tried to catch his glance, but Kurt avoided eye contact. He could see Kurt was angry and hurt. "What the hell happened?" Blaine asked.

Kurt finally turned his head to look at his boyfriend. "Did she hit on you?" he demanded.

Blaine wasn't sure if Kurt was angry at him or Santana, but he shook his head and walked over to Kurt. "I don't think…"

Kurt cut him off. "Just answer the question Blaine. Did Santana hit on you? Did she try and get you to cheat on me?"

"Kurt," Blaine started, but Kurt knew him too well and immediately took a step back and threw his hand up between himself and Blaine.

"I do not have to respect her boundaries when she crosses mine," he warned him off before his boyfriend could reprimand him.

Blaine considered that. "Fair enough," he agreed. He hesitated to find the right words, but couldn't. "She just offered me alcohol," he admitted.

Kurt didn't need to hear anymore, he understood what that meant. Since the incident with Rachel, it had been a joke with both the Warblers and the New Directions over the summer. It was a joke that no one took seriously, except Kurt.

"I can't do this." Kurt stormed by Blaine and headed to the bathroom door.

"Kurt!" Blaine yelled, grabbing him by the wrist and interlocking their fingers. Kurt stopped but stared at the door. "It means nothing. Even if she stripped naked in front of me…"

"I wouldn't put it past her," Kurt mumbled under his breath.

"It wouldn't matter." Blaine closed the gap and cupped his hand on Kurt's cheek, turning it to him. Blaine's heart dropped at the tears running down Kurt's face. "I'm in love with you." As Kurt's eyes lowered, Blaine slowly leaned in and his lips met Kurt's. He was gentle at first, waiting for Kurt to accept his words, waiting for Kurt's faith in him to return. When it did, it was Kurt that deepened the kiss, trying to discover every last morsel of reassurance he could that Blaine was truly his and no one, not even Santana Lopez, could touch them.

When they separated, Blaine carefully brushed Kurt's wet hair off his forehead and looked him deeply in the eyes. "I would never hurt you like that, understand?" Kurt quickly nodded, pursing his lips.

"I can't deal with you being friends with her knowing she's just trying to break us up," Kurt explained.

"That's not what this is about."

"What is it about then?" Kurt asked exasperated.

Blaine considered how much easier it would be to tell him, but he stood firm to his conviction that Santana had the right to withhold or reveal her own secrets in her own time. It had hurt when Kurt had forced issues with him, and he wasn't going to let him do it to Santana. "You know I wouldn't keep this from you if I didn't feel it was right. Trust me," he pleaded with Kurt.

Kurt sighed. "I seem to have little choice."

Sometimes Blaine's morality was hard for Kurt to deal with, but as Blaine kissed Kurt again, their tongues mingling with love and passion, he knew that he did and always would trust Blaine. Blaine pulled away and grabbed the bags of clean clothes, throwing one to Kurt. "Come on. It won't be good if either of us get detention for being late."

Kurt looked at Blaine, mischievously. "Guess that means no hanky panky in the school bathroom then?"

Blaine laughed at him. "I'll make up for it later," he winked.


	4. Asian F

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Asian F – So that happened. And in my head – this happened. I hope you enjoy. Of course, in the last scene, Glee's words are Glee's words and not mine. You know what they are. ***

Kurt watched Blaine's audition from the top of the auditorium. He couldn't get over how sensational he was.  How beautiful.  Kurt peeked over to the directors, and could see that they were as drawn into his performance as Kurt was. Blaine was a star and he was  _his_  star. His heart swelled with pride. So he hated himself when the pride was quickly replaced with jealousy after they asked him to read for Tony. He should have been ecstatic, but instead he felt only hurt and fear. He watched Blaine's tortured face consider whether or not to read, and Kurt couldn't stay there anymore. He needed some air.

He walked off, trying to shake the pathetic sense of jealousy he felt toward the boyfriend he adored. When his head cleared he made his way to his car, realizing it was a good thing he'd left. He was supposed to meet Blaine at the Lima Bean at 4 after the audition, and he didn't want Blaine to know he had been watching. He raced to the coffee shop, stood in the long after school line for their coffee orders, and sat in their usual seat just in time for Blaine to come in breathless through the door.

Blaine had been nervous the whole way to see Kurt. After reading the role, he was struggling to admit to himself just how much he wanted to play Tony. He wondered how on earth he was he going to confess it to Kurt. He had to talk to him about it, he couldn't just sweep it under the rug. During his song, he saw Kurt out of the corner of his eye, watching from the balcony, but the next time he looked up, Kurt was gone. He imagined Kurt had heard they wanted him to read and ran out. As soon as he finished the scene for Tony, he dashed out of the auditorium to find him, and when he couldn't, he sped to the Lima Bean. Now his heart raced with anxiety seeing Kurt at their table, picking at his clothes looking so sad. Kurt just couldn't catch a break.  First Santana manipulated Brittany to run for President against Kurt, now this. The last thing Blaine ever wanted to do was make Kurt sad. He took a deep breath.

Kurt looked up to see Blaine walk through the door and he put on a wide fake smile. Blaine smiled back and walked over. Since Santana had ever so kindly pointed out to Kurt that every person in the world would want his boyfriend, Kurt couldn't help but notice the heads that turned as Blaine walked toward him. He tried desperately to shake the argument he'd had with Santana the other day, but he couldn't. It helped though when Blaine sat down and immediately took Kurt's hand.

"So how was your audition?" Kurt asked expectantly.

Blaine's eyes crinkled and a smirk crossed his lips, "You tell me."

Kurt ducked his head but Blaine could see a blush creep up to Kurt's cheeks. "You saw me?" Kurt asked sheepishly.

"That's our spot," Blaine winked, blushing himself a bit. "How could I have not seen you?" Blaine gripped Kurt's hand tighter, and lowered his eyes. "So," he asked, "you know they asked me to read for Tony, right?"

Kurt pursed his lips and nodded quickly. The jealousy rushed back into his veins as hard as he tried to push it away. Tears pushed their way through as well, and Blaine immediately noticed despite Kurt's desperate attempts to hide them.

"Hey," Blaine soothed, stroking Kurt's knuckles with his thumb. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Kurt fiddled with his coffee cup. He couldn't look Blaine in the eye. "I'm thinking," he hesitated to tell him the truth, but he never lied to Blaine and didn't want to start now. Kurt spoke quickly to get it all out before he could think better of it. "I'm thinking you're Rock Hudson gay. I'm thinking that every girl and guy in this coffee shop wants you. I'm thinking that you are everything I'm not and I can't compete with that."

Blaine cocked his head and looked at Kurt, tears now running down is face. Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and his coffee. "Come on." He pulled Kurt away from the table.

"Where are we going," Kurt asked miserably.

"Some place more private. This isn't the place for this conversation."

Blaine pulled Kurt to his car and they sat in his backseat. He drew Kurt into him, running his fingers up and down Kurt's arm soothingly. He gently kissed Kurt's head, being sure not to mess the perfectly combed hair.

"I'm sorry," Kurt sniffled after a few minutes.

"Don't be sorry," Blaine said, cupping Kurt's face in his hands. "Don't ever be sorry for what you feel." Kurt nodded. "Now, where did this all come from? Santana's comments? The play?"

"They laughed at me, Blaine." Blaine's heart broke at the pain in Kurt's voice. "I auditioned for Tony and they laughed at me because I'm too gay. But you? Everyone loves you. Santana is right," Kurt said shaking his head, "I'm not strong enough for this."

Blaine stared at Kurt in amazement. "Bullshit. Kurt, you are the strongest person I know, and if Santana said otherwise than she was either trying to get to you or doesn't know you as well as I thought she did. You are perfect." Kurt tried to look away, but Blaine turned him back. "No listen to me, you are perfectly Kurt and I am head over heels in love with every part of you. Who cares what anyone else says? You are amazing." Blaine kissed Kurt gently, then again caught his gaze. "If my playing Tony hurts too much for you, I will give it up in a heartbeat. I will tell them I don't want to do it."

"Why would you do that?" Kurt's eyes widened. Despite what he said, Kurt had never known Blaine to give up the spotlight.

"Because your love and happiness mean so much more to me than a part in a play," Blaine explained. "I would give up everything for you. I already have."

Kurt knew those words were supposed to make him feel better, but they didn't. They made him feel sick. He couldn't meet Blaine's eyes. Flashes of the summer raced through his mind. Kurt's own guilt and selfishness shook him to the bone. He felt the walls of the car closing in on him.

"I have to go," Kurt said fumbling for the door handle to escape.

"Kurt wait!" Blaine yelled, scrambling out of the car after him. Kurt ran to his Navigator and clicked the doors unlocked. "I didn't mean it like that," Blaine tried to call, but it was too late. Kurt had started the car and was speeding away toward home.

* * *

_Blaine: I'm sorry. I didn't mean it the way it came out. Call me when you're ready to talk. I love you._

Kurt paused in his moisturizing routine, staring at Blaine's text message from Friday night, when his father knocked on the door. Burt stole a look into the bedroom cautiously. "Mind if I come in son?"

Kurt put the phone down, "Sure."

"Everything ok?" Burt asked tentatively.

"Sure Dad," Kurt lied. "Why?"

"Well, you've been quiet all weekend, and Blaine missed his first Friday Night dinner since the beginning of summer. You've been moping around and you keep staring at your phone but not texting or calling anyone." Burt leaned casually against the dresser, arms crossed at his chest. "You two have a fight?"

"No. Well, yes. Well, sort of," Kurt babbled.

"Care to talk about it?" Burt raised an eyebrow.

Kurt put his moisturizer away and came to sit on the bed. "He's probably going to get the role of Tony," Kurt explained miserably.

"So, then shouldn't you be proud of him?" Burt asked knowingly.

Kurt shook his head. "I should be. I want to be. But I just can't shake this feeling that he always gets whatever he wants while I constantly have to fight. I'm afraid of what I might say to him, so I've been staying away."

Burt considered his son. "What did he say about how you feel?"

"He said he'd give it up for me. He said he's already given up everything for me. And it's true. He gave up his father, Dalton, the Warblers. He gave it all up for me Dad. And I loved him for it." Kurt buried his face in his hands. "I am the most selfish boyfriend on the planet and he is perfect."

Burt sat down next to his son and put an arm around him. 'He did those things for him, Kurt, because they made his life better. You may have helped him to move forward, but he didn't do those things for you."

"What about the play," Kurt asked quietly. "The only reason he'd give up the role is so I can have it."

"Is that really what you want? Someone who is going to give up who they are just so you can have what you want?"

Kurt looked at his Dad with a grimace. "No, of course not."

"Look Kurt. You need to decide if you want someone who is perfect, or someone who is perfect for you."

"What do you mean?"

"Sure it's nice to be taken care of and have someone who's willing to put you first some of the time. But you need someone who's going to challenge you to be the best you can be. Asking someone to give themselves up for you doesn't make you special, it lessens both of you. I didn't raise you to ask for handouts. You win on your own, or lose graciously. Winning because someone threw the game, isn't success."

Kurt smiled at his father. "Thanks Dad."

Burt patted his son on the back. "No problem."

* * *

Kurt hadn't called Blaine all weekend, although they texted back and forth occasionally. It was partly his fault. Blaine had started a new part-time job at the local drugstore in order to help his mother out with the bills. Since they left his father, it had been much harder, and if Blaine wanted anything extra, he needed to work. At school the next few days, Kurt and Blaine saw little of each other. Being in different grades, they had only Glee together, and with booty camp continuing, Blaine wasn't attending. When they saw each other in the hallways, it was easy to sweep everything under the rug and pretend that nothing had happened. Kurt texted him from the chorus room while Blaine suffered through every moment at his lackluster job. Neither had addressed the elephant in the room. Kurt was still embarrassed and upset at his own feelings. Blaine, as always, was willing to wait for Kurt.

Blaine had rushed to work right after school on Tuesday, not even getting a chance to say goodbye to Kurt. He was in the middle of a terrible shift, with customers nearly out the door, when his phone lit up like a Christmas tree and vibrated non-stop with text messages. When he finally had enough of a break to read what Santana and Brittany had done back at school, he was furious. As soon as the clock struck 6, he called Kurt to calm him down. Then he immediately texted Santana.

_Blaine: Jazz Club. 30 minutes. Be there._

_Santana: Already here waiting._

He found it interesting that she knew he would want to see her.

* * *

"I heard you and Brittany put on quite the spectacle after school today," Blaine's anger had only grown on his drive over to the club, and his face was no doubt red as he slid his way into Santana's booth.

"Got Kurt shakin' in his boots do we?" Santana smirked. "Serves him right."

"What the hell do you have against him, Santana. What did he ever do to hurt you? Were you just jealous that Brittany was spending time with him instead of you?"

Santana's amused smirk faded as the heat in her body rose. "Brittany believed in Kurt because she didn't believe in herself. And what does he do? He yells at her and puts her down in front of everyone for her brilliance. Well that ain't gonna fly with me. Kurt is selfish and manipulative and he will let anyone look bad if it means him looking better."

"You must know what that's like Santana, sounds just like what everyone says about you," he retorted. "And what about you? If you wanted to take Kurt down, why not do it yourself? You may not be prom queen material, but there is barely a person at McKinley High who wouldn't vote the head cheerleader for Class President. What does it say about you that you're always willing to hide behind Brittany, use her innocence, and then not even admit to the world that it's the one thing you love most about her?"

Santana glared at Blaine with eyes like molten lava. "You think you are so different, boyfriend? Well let me tell you, you're not. Kurt and Brittany are the unicorns. You and me? We hide in their shadow, basking in their light. We pretend to be tough and have it together with our star power and our slick looks, but the truth is we both just continue to be who others want us to be, too afraid to shine on our own and risk losing the few people left who matter to us," Santana saw the flicker of recognition in Blaine's eyes. She knew she had gotten to him, but she didn't stop. "You think he's gonna just smile and hug you when you get the role of Tony? Think again. He's gonna run out of school like a 5 year old whose best friend just stole his favorite toy. And you'll give up the part and do whatever he wants, because all you are is Hummel's puppy dog of a boyfriend."

Blaine's gaze shifted to the band, unable anymore to look Santana in the eye. It was as if Santana ripped both his mask and his rose colored sunglasses straight from his face and while his soul lay bare in front of her, he was forced to see the truth of Kurt as well. But was it the truth? No, he couldn't believe it. "You're wrong Santana," Blaine quietly said, praying he was right.

Santana took Blaine's hand and the fire had disappeared from her eyes. "I understand Blaine, I do. Who do you think I hide myself from? Who do you think I always have to be on top for? You replaced your father with Kurt. Always the dutiful one, doing what everyone else wants of you. I get it and you know it. Coach Sylvester tells me to jump and I jump. So here's the question. When is it our turn?"

* * *

Kurt had gotten the bouquet of yellow and red roses over his lunch break, and was now headed to the stairwell to meet Blaine. The two had started the tradition of passing each other there since the first day of school, and had continued to do so the last few days despite their awkwardness at the moment. After the talk with his father, Kurt tried hard to put his insecurity and guilt aside. But it was Santana's actions and Blaine's kind words that had completely erased the horrible feeling in his stomach. He hated seeing Brittany be a puppet of Santana's whims, and he most certainly did not want to do that to Blaine. He wanted Blaine to be his own man, and the best one he could be. He was done trying to bring Blaine down.

The apprehension Blaine had felt since the night before at the jazz club came upon him even stronger as he reached the stairwell. Santana's words reverberated in his mind, and though he didn't want to believe any of it, he had to admit that she had him questioning his own mind. He loved Kurt with all his heart and his heart believed nothing of what she said about him. Kurt was loving and kind. He was insecure definitely, and because of that he sometimes did things that could appear selfish or manipulative at times, but he wasn't those things. He hoped that giving Kurt time to work through his insecurities, on his own or with his dad, would be enough. In the past he may have pushed him, but those days were gone. He was Kurt's boyfriend now and not a mentor. As for himself, he recognized his faults. He knew that he tried too hard to make people like him. Santana was right. Living without the love of a father made a person crave that love and acceptance from others. But he was working on that. As he told Kurt, he knew it wasn't going to happen overnight.

He saw Kurt bound up the courtyard stairway before Kurt saw him, and Blaine noticed a return of Kurt's effervescent skip in his step that had been absent the last few days. Blaine melted at Kurt's adorable smile. He had missed that. "Cast list goes up on Friday. Are you nervous?" Kurt asked, suddenly conquering the elephant that had hung in the air.

Blaine's nerves came mostly from the fear of Kurt's reaction, and he tried to judge Kurt's expression as he spoke. This was it, the moment to see who was right about Kurt, him or Santana. "A little," he answered nonchalantly. "Trying not to think about it." He lied of course. It was all he had been thinking about since the argument with Kurt five days ago.

As Kurt told him that he believed he would get the role, Blaine studied him. He saw no jealousy or hurt in his boyfriend's face. Blaine saw only love reflected in the dazzling blue-green eyes. And then he saw a bouquet of flowers, and his heart melted.

"Kurt, they're beautiful," Blaine smiled. "But what are they for?"

Kurt stared straight into Blaine's hazel eyes, and felt only the enormous pride that had filled him when he had watched him sing  _Something's Coming_. "You killed your audition, Blaine. If anyone else got Tony, including me, the wrath of Sondheim, would fall upon McKinley like a plague of Shubert Alley locusts." Blaine laughed and smelled the flowers. Kurt's apology was as unique as the boy in front of him, but it was heartfelt. "These are to celebrate. You," Kurt finished.

Blaine felt the weight of a thousand tons lift off of his shoulders, and every insult Santana threw at Kurt disappeared from his mind. His heart filled with a love greater than he ever thought possible, and he found himself laughing. "You always zig when I think you're about to zag, and I just love that about you."

Blaine wanted more than anything in that moment to sweep Kurt in his arms and kiss him until their hearts burst. He could see that Kurt felt the same. But it was McKinley High School, and the fear of violence was always at the forefront of their minds. They had both suffered abuse at the hands of their classmates before. Blaine had been seriously injured; Kurt had been threatened with his life. No matter how confident they were, no matter how much things had changed, it took longer than six months to heal from those things. It was only last week that holding hands down the hall had earned them both a slushie. Neither wanted to find out what a kiss could bring. So Blaine merely placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder and squeezed with a promise of more to come later. Neither had to say anything. They understood each other perfectly.

With the image of a slushie hitting Kurt fresh in his mind, Blaine followed Kurt down the stairs, smelling the flowers and smiling impishly at the boy he loved. He caught up to him at the bottom and whispered in his ear. "Between the flowers and the thought of slushie running down every inch of your skin, I ought to skip school now, and just take you home with me," he winked.

"Blaine Anderson, you are the biggest tease that this school has ever seen. No wonder you and Santana are friends," he joked.

Blaine laughed. "Who said I'm teasing?" Blaine yelled behind him, as he headed off toward the cafeteria for lunch, leaving Kurt to walk to history class on his own.


	5. Way Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***This chapter is the one that conceived this story, so I hope you like it. I'd like to thank RIB for putting Santana back in New Directions, just as I needed her.
> 
> This is likely to be the last update before Glee starts again. Episodes 4 and 5 are going to have a massive impact on the direction of this story, so I will need to wait. I can't wait to see what happens! November cannot come fast enough.***

"Alright guys," Mr. Scheuster started class. "You all have done a lot of hard work in booty camp, but it's given some of you some significant time off. So, new assignment!"

Rachel cheered and clapped her hands. Kurt sat up straight. Blaine leaned in, excited for his first real Glee assignment since arriving at McKinley.

"I said at the beginning of the year that unity was going to be our key to winning Nationals this year. Well, this is our chance to support each other and show our unity. With our competing show choir, I think it's even more important. So without further ado, I want each of you to pick someone to sing to. It's not duets and you don't have to tell the other person first. Find a song that will inspire them and show them what they mean to you. Starting tomorrow, you guys will get up here and start showing the love!"

* * *

Kurt nearly jumped out of his skin as he skipped down the hallway with Blaine at the end of the day. He was chattering away about this week's Glee assignment. Blaine kept glancing over at Kurt with a smile, thoroughly amused by Kurt's exuberance.

"So I definitely think that I'm going to sing  _Come What May_  to you. I mean, I wanted to do it as a duet, but this is the perfect opportunity for me to sing it. And then to me, I think you should sing…"

Kurt kept talking, but Blaine's attention was pulled elsewhere. Over Kurt's shoulder, at the end of the hallway, Coach Sylvester was on a tirade. Next to her was co-captain of the Cheerios, Becky, looking smug at the recipient of the Coach's wrath. Santana stood before the woman, eyes cast down, holding her books to her chest in defense of the coach's onslaught of scathing insults and orders. Brittany stood beside Santana, frowning and looking nervously back and forth between the Coach and her best friend. Despite the constant barrage, Blaine noticed that Santana said nothing in return. Finally Coach Sylvester threw her hands up and stormed back to her office, Becky running close behind. Brittany reached out a hand to hug the head cheerleader, but Santana shrugged it off and dashed in the direction of the choir room.

"Blaine Anderson, did you hear a word I just said," Kurt yelled frustrated.

"What?" Blaine turned back to Kurt and realized he had, in fact, not heard anything that Kurt had said. He looked apologetic, but Kurt could see his mind was elsewhere. He followed Blaine's gaze to the choir room just as Santana disappeared inside.

Kurt sighed. "Go," he said with resignation.

"I love you so much I could kiss you," Blaine called as he ran off to the choir room.

* * *

Blaine entered the choir room to see Santana sitting at the piano alone crying. She initially startled when Blaine cleared his throat, but relaxed when she saw it was Blaine. She wiped her tears as he settled himself leaning on the piano.

"Do you want to tell me what all that was about?" Blaine asked gently.

"No," she answered quietly, getting up and putting distance between her and Blaine.

"Are you ok?" Blaine contemplated whether to go to her or give her space.

Santana tried to hold it together, but she couldn't. Tears started flowing again and she shook her head, "No."

Blaine walked over to her and took her in an embrace as she cried. Blaine stroked her thick black hair and whispered reassurance that it would be ok. He had no idea what had happened, but he knew how important Coach Sylvester's approval was to Santana. If she walked away from Brittany, the attack must have been merciless. Or about Brittany herself.

Santana relaxed into Blaine's arms until his comfort and warmth caused her tears to subside. She wanted to want this so badly. She pulled away and looked intensely into his hazel eyes. Without a thought, she leaned in to kiss him.

Before her lips could reach his, Blaine lowered his head and met Santana's forehead with his own. "Santana," he whispered, closing his eyes and shaking his head slightly against hers.

She squeezed her eyes shut and spoke so he could barely hear her. "It would just be so easy, you know? I fall in love with you, you fall in love with me. No one cares. No fear, no threats. We stay on top. Our parents love us. Is that too much to ask?"

Blaine pulled away, taking Santana's hands in his. "Straight isn't always easier, Santana. Just look at everyone around us." He lifted her chin so that their eyes met. "I have a boyfriend I love very much out there who has saved my life and is planning on singing to me one of the greatest love songs ever written. And you have a girl who you desperately love and she loves you back. But Santana, you are going to lose her to someone else if you don't stop hiding behind Puck and Sam and any other guy you can get your hands on. You have to be willing to be open. She wants the world to know that you love her."

Santana's eyebrows raised, the sarcasm trying to sneak its way back in, though she fought it. "You're one to talk. I've seen how you and Kurt look at each other. Mike and Tina make out every chance they get while you guys shy away from each other. If you two can't be open, who can?"

"Just because we're careful Santana, doesn't mean we're not open. Perhaps you forgot the duet we sang at Regionals, or the two songs I sang to him in the courtyard, or us dancing together at prom? There is a difference between protecting yourself from violence and hiding your true self from everyone. I learned that the hard way. Maybe it's a fine line sometimes, but Kurt and I are trying our best. We're not always going to get it right." He brushed Santana's hair away from her face. "It would be easier to do it together."

Santana looked at Blaine. He always made it sound so easy, and yet he had struggled so much to get where he was at. "You know, I've tried to talk with my parents about it. They've made it very clear what their expectations are, and that is not a lesbian daughter. It's not like it was for you. I don't want to lose them. They're good to me and I love them. I can't hurt them like that."

"All you're doing is hurting yourself then, Santana." Santana looked away from those compelling eyes. "People here will support you. You just have to give them a chance."

Santana wanted so much to be strong enough, to be able to sing her love to Brittany, even if it was just in the choir room and not the courtyard. But she knew she couldn't. "No, they won't Blaine. Coach Sylvester just made that very clear."

Blaine wondered what the hell Sue Sylvester had said to Santana to make her believe that. Kurt had many negative things to say about the woman, but he always got the impression that she was supportive of him and his sexuality. Besides, Blaine had heard the stories of Santana standing up to Coach Sylvester last year. He couldn't understand why she was letting the coach control her this year. First the purple piano, now this. He grew angry, not _with_ her but _for_ her. "Why do you let her rule your world Santana?"

Santana looked at him with both fear and determination. "You don't get it Blaine. You grew up in Westerville with the world at your fingertips. I grew up in Lima Heights Adjacent. Coach Sylvester is my only ticket out."

* * *

"Alright guys," Mr. Schuester called the club to order. "I gave you all the assignment to find a song to sing to another club member. I hope this will give you the opportunity to show not only your unity but your support of one another," he said glancing to Santana. She offered him a curt smile. "Is anybody ready?"

Rachel's hand shot up but Blaine spoke first. "Mr. Scheuster," he said cautiously raising his hand. It was still taking time for him to get adjusted to New Directions, where it wasn't just assumed he would always sing. Finn had been right about one thing, it was quite different from the Warblers. "I have something prepared."

Kurt bounced up in his chair with a huge grin and clapped silently. Blaine had refused to tell him what he was singing, and Kurt had many many ideas in his head about the songs he'd love to hear his boyfriend sing to him.

"Very well Blaine," Mr. Scheuster said taking a seat off to the side. "The floor is yours."

Blaine leaned over to Kurt and whispered in his ear.  "I hope this helps you understand." Kurt noticed he wasn't smiling and he didn't have his usual playfulness to his words. As Blaine walked to the front of the room and whispered to Brad, Kurt sat confused, his excitement quickly replaced by apprehension.

Blaine turned to face all the choir members in their seats. For the first time, he was nervous. He had never performed here for them before, and that was enough to get his heart racing but there was more. He fully expected that Kurt wouldn't be pleased with his song choice or the person he chose to sing to. But as he had reminded Santana, he had already declared his love for Kurt openly. That wasn't what was most important right now. He feared revealing secrets that weren't his to tell, but nevertheless, he felt an overwhelming need to do this. He took a deep breath and nodded to Brad. No one was surprised, when he sang Katy Perry.

_She is a pyramid_   
_But with him she's just a grain of sand_   
_This love's too strong like mice and men_   
_Squeezing out the life that should be let in  
_

Blaine's eyes rested on Santana, and she gazed back, staring as if into his soul. She immediately had known the song was for her. He was concerned that she would be angry at his song choice, but she didn't seem to be. She broke his gaze and got lost in the words.

_She was a hurricane_   
_But now she's just a gust of wind_   
_She used to set the sails of a thousand ships_   
_Was a force to be reckoned with_

Kurt's first thought however, was _Hell to the No_. First Blaine left him to meet with her and then he's singing to her in the choir room? Kurt had expected a love song, something personal and meaningful to him, to declare his love for Kurt in front of all his friends. Instead, all of Blaine's emotion was pouring out to Santana. The jealousy he hated so much rushed back, and he gripped his seat hard to contain it. _  
_

_She could be a Statue of Liberty_   
_She could be a Joan of Arc_   
_But he's scared of the light that's inside of her_   
_So he keeps her in the dark_   
  
_Oh, she used to be a pearl_   
_Yeah she used to rule the world_   
_Can't believe, she's become, a shell of herself_   
_Cause she used to be a pearl_

Santana felt her eyes fill with tears despite her desperate attempts to contain herself. Blaine was singing straight to her, the whole glee club would know it and wonder why. She stole a glance to Brittany next to her. Britt was looking sideways at her and saw her best friend's tears. Quietly, she took Santana's hand and squeezed. Brittany understood. Brittany always understood.

_She was unstoppable_   
_Moved fast just like an avalanche_   
_But now she's stuck deep in cement_   
_Wishing that they never ever met_   
  
_She could be a Statue of Liberty_   
_She could be a Joan of Arc_   
_But he's scared of the light that's inside of her_   
_So he keeps her in the dark_

_Oh, she used to be a pearl_   
_Yeah she used to rule the world_   
_Can't believe she's become a shell of herself_   
_Cause she used to be a -_

_Do you know that there's a way out_   
_There's a way out, there's a way out, there's a way out_

_You don't have to be held down_   
_Be held down, be held down, be held down_

Santana heard Blaine's words but still struggled to believe them. Was there really a way out for her? Blaine seemed happier since coming to McKinley, despite losing so much that was important to him. Would it be the same for her? She had spent a lifetime hiding away anything that would prevent her from getting to the top. She squeezed Brittany's hand tightly and glanced to her. Brittany gave her the small smile that made Santana's heart beat fast.

_Cause I used to be a shell_   
_Yeah I let him rule my world_   
_My world, oh yeah  
_

For the first time, Blaine turned to Kurt, eyes soft, loving and soothing. He saw Kurt's anger and jealousy flicker, before it melted away for the moment. Blaine's eyes pleaded for Kurt to understand.

_But I woke up and grew strong_   
_And I can still go on_   
_And no one can take my pearl_

Kurt heard Blaine and did understand. This wasn't about Blaine having feelings for Santana. This was about all that had happened with his father. Being abused and confined, forced into a closet from which he desperately wanted to escape. Always the mentor and protector, Blaine wanted to give to the girl the courage that a year ago he had offered Kurt. And that Kurt had returned when he couldn't find it himself.  Kurt glanced at Santana, and saw tears in her eyes as she tightly gripped Brittany's hand. Kurt didn't know what was going on with her and understood that it wasn't Blaine's place to tell him. Santana still scared him, but if Blaine felt a kinship with her, Kurt knew he would have to learn to accept it. Pride returned, and love, for the beauty of Blaine's soul.

_You don't have to be a shell_   
_You're the one that rules your world_   
_You are strong, and you'll learn that you can still go on_   
_And you'll always be a pearl_

_She is unstoppable._

Blaine's eyes bore into Santana's as he sang the last line. He desperately wanted her to feel it and to own it. His performance was profound and Santana couldn't ignore it if she tried. He made her look inside herself, made her believe in herself. Unlike anyone else in this school, Blaine had once been where she was now; scared with a secret that her family wouldn't support. As the other members of the New Directions applauded Blaine, she too applauded quietly, tears in her eyes. The two exchanged no words, but their gaze said it all. She would find a way out.

Mr. Schuester patted Blaine on the back, bringing him out of the moment. "Thank you Blaine, that was fantastic. He sets a high bar for the rest of you tomorrow."

Everyone stood to go, and Blaine met Kurt by his seat. He took Kurt's hands. "Are you mad at me?" he asked with a knowing smile.

Kurt looked down at their intertwined fingers. "I was," he shyly admitted, looking up into Blaine's shining hazel eyes. "I was looking forward to you singing to me and I was disappointed. But no. It was beautiful. You are beautiful," he said placing a hand on Blaine's heart. "I understand, I think." Kurt paused. "I still don't love it, you and her, but I understand."

Blaine kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you," he said.

They gathered their satchels and said goodbye to the others. Kurt was going home with Finn to work in the garage. Blaine had work this evening.

"You owe me another Katy Perry song," Kurt teased him.

Blaine leaned in to whisper in Kurt's ear, "Don't you worry your pretty little head. I plan to sing you  _Peacock_ the next time I have you alone." Blaine smiled naughtily and let go of Kurt's hands. As he confidently walked out the door, he left an extremely flushed Kurt behind. This "tease and run" exit that Blaine kept making was really starting to wear on his resolve. Kurt would have to do something about that.


	6. Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written while waiting during that forever hiatus until November finally arrived. I'd gotten bored and antsy, and my mind exploded with this chapter. So here it is. Pure Klaine, much angst.
> 
> I don't own Glee.

Blaine stumbled up the stairs to the spot tower in the school auditorium. Kurt's hands covered his eyes as he carefully made his way behind his boyfriend. When they reached the top, Kurt released his hands and grinned widely. Blaine looked down to see a beautiful picnic blanket, set up with fruit, cheese, a diet coke for Kurt and a regular coke for him. Blaine turned to Kurt in wonder, eyes dancing, lips smiling.

"This is amazing, Kurt. Thank you!"

Kurt beamed. "Well then, sit down and eat. Rehearsal starts in 20 minutes."

The two sat in "their spot" where Kurt had watched Blaine's audition. Blaine took Kurt's face gently and kissed him quickly before he dove into the food. Kurt smiled. He knew that Blaine would be hungry after school and would need something to energize him before rehearsal. He enjoyed taking care of Blaine. Since Santana's scathing comments and his heart to heart with his father, Kurt had done a lot of thinking about how he treated Blaine. He was determined to become as perfect a boyfriend as Blaine.

Blaine took a break from eating to look at his gorgeous boyfriend. He couldn't help but smile and lean in to kiss him. Here was the only spot in school, away from the prying eyes of jocks, where they both felt safe to be affectionate with each other. Kurt leaned into the warm, loving kiss and closed his eyes. He thought about how much he loved this, how much he loved Blaine, and how much he wanted moments like these to last forever.

Blaine broke away from the kiss, smiled at Kurt with sparkling eyes, and grabbed another piece of fruit. "I love this spot," Blaine said dreamily staring at the stage.

"Me too," Kurt answered wistfully. "Soon, we'll make love here."

Blaine nearly choked on the apple he had just taken a bite of and turned quickly to face Kurt. Kurt was blushing a shade of pink that Blaine had never seen before, but was grinning sheepishly at Blaine.

Blaine took Kurt's hand and intertwined their fingers. He chuckled warmly. "What did you just say?" Kurt had still been insisting he wasn't ready. For Kurt to even suggest that he might be was music to Blaine's ears, but he wanted it to be for the right reasons.

"Doesn't every thespian want to make love in an empty theater, lit only by stage lights?"

"Yes," Blaine admitted while his heart skipped a beat. He felt butterflies just from Kurt talking about being that intimate with him. "But I thought you weren't ready. What's this about?"

"Well, maybe I am."

Blaine studied him. "Is this because of Santana?"

_Yes_. "No," Kurt lied.

"You're lying," Blaine knew Kurt better than he knew himself. "Kurt, please, don't do this to prove something to her, or to me." He took Kurt's other hand and squeezed them both tightly. "I am gay and I'm yours. Even if she were a gay man, I wouldn't look twice at her, because I only have eyes for you. "

"Blaine, I'm not. Please trust me. I adore everything that you just said, but I get that you and Santana are just friends. I admit I don't like it, I worry that she'll hurt you, but I get it. So it's not about that. But yes, she made me think about some things. So did this whole thing with the show."

"What did you think about?" Blaine asked seriously.

Kurt lowered his eyes. "That I need to stop being so jealous. I have to stop being afraid to show you how I feel." He looked up and loved poured out of both sets of eyes. "And I need to trust you and not hold you back. From anything."

As Blaine gazed at Kurt with pure adoration, both boys heard Artie come into the auditorium below them, with Coach Beiste pushing him behind. They smiled and started to pack up the picnic basket, Blaine stealing one more kiss before getting up. "Come to dinner at my house tonight. My mom's making Pancit." At Kurt's confusion, he added "It's a Filipino noodle dish. You'll love it."

"I'd love to," Kurt said grabbing the picnic basket. "I just have to work at the garage for an hour or two and then I'll meet you there. Have a good rehearsal!" Kurt dashed down the stairs and out to his car, smiling all the way.

* * *

"This is really delicious, Mrs. Anderson," Kurt said.

"Blaine, please get your boyfriend to start calling me Amy," Blaine's mother joked.

Both boys laughed. "I keep trying Mom," Blaine said, "But he's so stubborn."

They all sat around the kitchen table at Blaine's small apartment. He and his mother had lived there for a little over a month now, and it was finally starting to feel a bit like home. Blaine's mother had put more Filipino touches in the apartment than had been at the house with Colonel Anderson. The home had primarily wooden furniture, with an earthy décor. The windows were covered with lace white curtains. In the corner of the living room was a huge earthen pot filled with coins, and one table had a lamp made of Capiz shells. Blaine's room was the only one that remained as it had before, minus the army motif found at his father's home. Blaine's guitars had a prominent place in his room.

The three talked about West Side Story and how rehearsals had been going. Mrs. Anderson asked Kurt all about his run for Class President, and they discussed Kurt's ideas to win. In the past month, Kurt and Blaine's mom had spent a lot of time getting to know each other and they really enjoyed each other's company. Blaine spent much of their time together just watching and smiling as the two of them acted like old friends. Coming from a home where both he and his mother were terrified to be themselves, the freedom they both felt now was remarkable. Blaine's thoughts drifted to Santana. He wondered if his home was like this before, if his family had gotten along, would he have been so willing to disrupt that?

The lighthearted conversation between Kurt and Amy was interrupted by a ringtone. Blaine looked at his mother and giggled. "Mom, you know there are no cell phones at the table!" he teased.

Amy Anderson looked sheepishly at her son, who was absolutely right. She had made the rule as soon as they moved into the home. She took the cell phone out of her pocket and glanced at the text message as she laughed with her son. Blaine's smile disappeared when he noticed his mother's laughter stop instantly.

"What is it," he asked, concerned.

She shook her head. "It's nothing, don't worry about it." She tried to put the phone away but Blaine placed his hand on hers and stopped her.

"It's not nothing, Mom, I can tell." Kurt noticed Blaine's fear rise to the surface, but it came out as anger.

"Not now Blaine, we'll talk about it later," she said glancing at Kurt.

"I don't hide things from Kurt, Mom, not anymore," he said and went to grab the phone.

She pulled the phone away. "It's from your father Blaine."

Kurt turned to Blaine. Blaine had frozen in place. His mouth had dried immediately. His heart beat faster. His mind raced. Kurt reached for his hand and squeezed, bringing Blaine out of a spiral that in the past had led to flashbacks. Kurt's touch brought him back to reality. Blaine licked his lips. With a small voice, he asked, "What does he want?"

Mrs. Anderson looked at her son apprehensively. "He wants to see you," she told him.

In an instant, Blaine shot up out of his chair, almost losing Kurt's grip. "No!" he yelled.

"Blaine," she said calmly. "Sit down, let's talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about. I am not visiting him. What does he want me to do, come over and hang out like nothing ever happened? Like he's father of the year?" Blaine's eyes dashed back and forth and the look scared Kurt. The last time he had seen Blaine like this, Blaine had accidentally hit him.

"Please calm down son. He just wants you to come for dinner some time, that's all."

"Absolutely not," Blaine shook his head. "No."

"He says he's willing to have Kurt join you."

That froze both boys in their tracks. Kurt's gaze shifted from Blaine to Mrs. Anderson. "What?" he asked softly.

"His text says that if the only way Blaine will come is with you, then he's willing to do that."

Kurt started to answer, but Blaine cut him off. "No!" Blaine threw his hands up in the air letting go of Kurt. "I'm not going to do this," he yelled, as he stormed off to his bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Amy looked desperately at Kurt with tears in her eyes. Kurt stood up. "I'll go talk to him," he reassured her.

"If he says no, he may not get this chance again. If his father wants to apologize, wants to develop a relationship with him," her voice trailed off as tears fell down her face. "Kurt, he can't miss that opportunity. "

Kurt looked at her for a moment, thinking on what she said. "Mrs. Anderson, I will try to get Blaine to go. But with all due respect, if Colonel Anderson is only going to give him one chance, then maybe it's not a chance worth taking."

* * *

Blaine was curled up on his bed trying to stem the tide of a panic attack when he heard a knock at the door. He tried to ignore it. But he couldn't ignore Kurt's pleas. "Blaine," Kurt asked gently. "Please let me in."

Blaine got up and turned the doorknob, opening the door just slightly, then went to sit on the edge of his bed. Kurt opened the door the rest of the way, closing it behind him. He remained at the door, studying his boyfriend. Blaine's hazel eyes were frenzied. Kurt had seen him like that only twice before, but he knew enough to keep his distance.

"Don't try to get me to go Kurt, please," Blaine pleaded.

"Blaine, we talked about this," Kurt said. "We talked about how your father may change his mind, now that things are different." September 20th had been a momentous day for Blaine. As they had on July 24 when New York legalized same-sex marriage, On September 20th the two boys had sat in front of the TV and YouTube all day watching story after story of gay and lesbian soldiers coming out, some even getting married. Blaine spent much of the day in tears, wondering what this meant for himself and his father. But days and weeks passed, and he had heard nothing.

"I can't take that chance," Blaine said quietly.

"Why not?" Kurt challenged.

Blaine had allowed himself to get his hopes up too high too often. "Kurt, he didn't just not accept me for who I was. He punished me for it. When I finally stood up to him, he threw me out. I thought Burt could change his mind, he couldn't. I thought he might call a month ago. He didn't. How many times am I going to let him break my heart?" His eyes drifted once again into the faraway look that broke Kurt's heart.

Kurt wanted nothing more than to run to Blaine, hold him in his arms, and take all the pain away. But he knew that sympathy would get him nowhere right now. Blaine needed to fight.

"So," Kurt said crossing his arms, putting on a sarcastic tone. "Not only do you sing to Santana instead of me, but everything you sung to her was a lie?"

Blaine snapped out of it and shot an incredulous look at Kurt. "What?"

Kurt had Blaine's attention now. "Didn't you say that you were strong? That he couldn't rule your world anymore? Didn't you say that you wouldn't be held down by him anymore?"

Blaine looked away. "I'm just so scared, Kurt."

Kurt closed the distance between them and knelt down before Blaine, taking the boys hands in his own. He gazed upon the beautiful face of the remarkable boy that showed his vulnerability only to Kurt behind closed doors. "I know you are, Baby. But you have to practice what you preach, right?"

Blaine turned to him, eyebrows raised, questioning.

Kurt gave him a small smile. "You're helping Santana come out, right?" Kurt asked, already knowing the answer.

Blaine looked at him, trying to decide whether or not to answer, then nodded slightly.

"Then show her how it's done," Kurt said. "Being out is a process, not a moment. You helped me. You're helping Santana. Help yourself. Have dinner with your father Blaine. Don't run anymore.  _You_  are unstoppable. _This_  is your way out."

Blaine slid off the bed and onto the floor with Kurt so that they were eye level. "He's hurt me so much Kurt. How do I forgive him. How do I even try to win with him?"

Kurt knew that Blaine was talking about a deeper forgiveness than he could muster. He thought that discussion was better suited to Blaine's best friend. "Talk to Nick about forgiveness, that's his area of expertise." To be honest, Kurt hated Blaine's father, but he would never tell Blaine that. Nick had more patience, and more faith. He had also been around longer. He'd been the first to get Blaine to open up about what was going on in the Anderson household, last winter. Nick was spiritual, believed in God, and was Blaine's best friend. Forgiveness was the type of thing Nick was much better at handling than Kurt.

"As for winning," Kurt continued, "you and I go to dinner. He invites us inside, we hold hands, he speaks to us respectfully and with interest, and we end the evening with no battles, no hurtful words, and an invitation to return. That's how you win."

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt, and kissed him deeply. "I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt said, embracing him as if to never let go.


	7. Pot O' Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Let's give a thanks to that inspiration, RIB, it's like you are reading my mind (or my fic) and I am so grateful that we are totally on the same page. RIB loves me. Although if he really loved me I'd own some of Glee. Which I don't.
> 
> And a moment of silence for all of us on November 8th.***

Santana and Brittany sat at Breadstix, having just finished their meal. The night had been magical. Everything was perfect. Brittany was beautiful. The conversation about leprechauns and Shelby's choir only fueled Santana's desire for more.

"But in the meantime, I do have one more wish," Santana said with a sparkle in her eye. "I wish you could hold my hand."

Brittany smiled, the glowing smile that made her whole face light up. She gently reached out and took Santana's hand. Santana stared at it in wonder. She would have bet a hundred dollars that true sparks flew from their fingertips meeting. She smiled in amazement, but quickly remembered they were in public. She looked around at the other guests. "Well like, under the napkin." She said, taking one of the red dinner napkins and placing it over their hands.

Brittany smiled and helped Santana cover them precisely. She smiled. "Is that better?" she asked.

Santana smirked.

The waitress came over leaving them with the desert menu. "What do you think Britt? Wanna get dessert?"

Brittany glanced at the menu and looked up flirtingly. "Definitely," she smiled and winked.

Santana blushed, and Brittany was quiet proud of herself. The waitress returned. "Triple Chocolate Cake to go please," Santana asked with as bitchy a face as she could muster.

When the dessert arrived, they paid the check and drove back to Brittany's house. They met Rory in the living room. Brittany immediately went over to him and kissed him on the cheek. "Hello my leprechaun. Did you have a good day?"

Rory's grin made Santana want to throw up. "Mighty fine day today," Rory told Brittany.

Santana grabbed her hand and pulled her upstairs. "Come on Britt, let's go."

"Bye lepruchan," Brittany waved with a sweet smile as she and Santana headed upstairs.

Brittany and Santana collapsed on the bed with their chocolate cake and one plastic fork. Santana grabbed the fork first and cut a bite. She smiled at Brittany as she fed her the cake, and laughed when a bit remained on her lips.

"You missed a bit," Santana said seductively. She leaned in and kissed Brittany's lips, licking the chocolate off, but going no further.

"I love this," Brittany announced cheerily. "A real date, dessert, you and me licking chocolate off each other. I've been so lucky since the leprechaun came into my life."

Santana rolled her eyes. She knew that kid had the hots for Brittany and she had no love lost for a boy that would prey on Brittany's innocence just to get her in the sack. It was the greatest part of her best friend, and she wouldn't let anyone ever take advantage of that, not Kurt Hummel and certainly not this Rory kid.

"I don't think it's the leprechaun, sweetheart," Santana said caringly. "I've been…I've been talking to Blaine."

"Well I know that, Santana, he sang to you and everything. That was really sweet, by the way."

"Yeah well, he's been helping me…you know…be more comfortable…about all this," Santana stumbled through her explanation. "I mean, he's annoying and everything, sometimes he and Kurt are so lovesick it makes me want to hurl pompoms, but they're so…"

"Free?" Brittany offered, cocking her head to the side.

"Yeah," Santana conceded quietly, picking at an unraveling thread of the comforter.

"Is that what you want, 'Tana?" Brittany asked quietly. "To be free…with me?"

Santana knew the answer but it was so hard to say it aloud. She was quiet for a minute, the nodded her head. Her voice broke. "Yeah. That's exactly what I want."

* * *

"Oh, you know what, I get it," Santana said snarkily. "Since Mercedes is gone this year, it's going to be the Blaine and Rachel show. Yay!"

Blaine rolled his eyes, uncomfortably. Santana drove him crazy. He was used to Kurt's emotions running away with him, but Santana was so hot one minute and cold the next that it was becoming dizzying. He wondered briefly if this is what his friends at Dalton had suffered with for the months before he had finally started dating Kurt.

"You all know it's true," she said, turning to the rest of the Glee club. Kurt sat with his arms crossed, annoyed as always at Santana. But she knew she had Finn worried, and almost relished it. "Noted. Good to know," she said as she walked out the door.

"Thank you Santana," Mr. Schuester replied.

As soon as class was dismissed, Blaine bolted to go find Santana. He saw her head around the corner of the hallway, and nearly knocked over some new kid in green, apologizing profusely, as he ran to keep up with her storming off to the courtyard.

"What the hell, Santana?" he yelled, when he finally caught up with the girl.

"Don't get in my face, Blaine. I'm joining Shelby's choir and I'm taking Brittany with me. This is something I need to do." Santana bit back.

Brittany arrived at the same time and made to approach them but Santana gave her a look. The blond went to sit at a table with some of the other Cheerios, frowning every once in a while in Santana's direction.

Blaine turned back to Santana. "Those guys are your friends, and you're just going to tear them apart? The Blaine and Rachel show? Really?" Blaine was hurt and confused by her comments. "You have an amazing role in West Side Story and you are just fantastic! I'm sure when Mr. Schuester hears you, you'll get your fair share of solos. From what I've heard, he never listens to Rachel about set lists anyway."

Santana looked around and lowered her voice. "It's not about that and you know it." Santana glanced at Brittany, who was laughing with the other girls. She turned back to Blaine and spoke quietly so no one could hear. "We had a date the other night. I tried to hold her hand, but," she hesitated, "I got scared. It made me realize even more how much I want this. But I can't do it with them all around. Puck, Quinn, Finn, Artie, Kurt…it's too hard."

"Kurt would never judge you, Santana," Blaine immediately interjected defensively.

"Kurt judges everyone, you need to take off the love sick, puppy dog, rose colored sunglasses, boyfriend," Santana snapped. She took a deep breath and sighed. "All I'm saying is, I need someplace fresh. Someplace without so much history and memories. Like you had at Dalton."

Blaine shook his head at Santana. "Dalton was a place to hide, not to live."

"Well, maybe I need that first," she said quietly. "A bridge to cross. Blaine, I'm trying here. I want what you and Kurt have. Brittany and I…we've done all the stuff that you and Kurt haven't…"

"Wait a minute," Blaine stopped her, face scrunched. "How do you know what we have and haven't done?"

"Please Blaine, I can tell by looking at a person whether or not they have tapped it. You and Kurt still ooze with the innocence of lambs." Blaine stood dumbfounded, not knowing what to say. "Look, my point is, what you and Kurt have…everyone can see the love that radiates in your eyes and flows from every fiber of your being; it's so easy that people like Rachel and I could never get in the middle of it no matter how hard we try." Blaine scoffed. "That's what I want with Brittany. But I can't do it in there. Not with our past haunting us every step of the way. I have no issues with Mercedes. Shelby's group is.."

"Safe?" Blaine offered. Santana nodded.

Blaine studied Santana's face. Her eyes were sad but hopeful. Her fingers fidgeted where usually she was strong. Her gaze kept straying to Brittany, watchful and loving. He took her hand and she only startled slightly. "I'm sorry. You go after everything you want. Don't let anyone stop you from getting the one thing that means everything. It is worth it in every way. I'm proud of you."

Santana smiled shyly and squeezed his hand. He watched as she ran off to join the other Cheerios, standing strongly by Brittany's side.

* * *

"It's time to go Finn," Carole told her son. "Go check with Kurt and see if he's ready yet, please."

Finn climbed the stairs to Kurt's room and knocked on the door, entering once Kurt answered. He finally learned to knock after frequently walking in on Kurt and Blaine while the parents weren't home.

"Mom wants to know if you're almost ready," he said, glancing over Kurt's outfit and feeling underdressed.

"Yeah," Kurt answered, "I'll be there in just a minute." He was just finishing up his skin routine and putting on his last accessories.

Finn shuffled there, trying to decide whether to leave or not, then turned back to Kurt, hands in his pockets. "Is Blaine coming to this dinner?" he asked nervously.

Kurt grew tense at Finn mentioning Blaine's name. "No, Dad wanted this to be just us." Kurt turned on him, fire in his eyes. Finn instinctively stepped back. "What the hell is your problem with Blaine lately anyway? You guys got along so well all last year and all summer. In fact, you were fine until Blaine transferred."

Finn knew this argument was coming. He was surprised it had taken so long for Kurt to speak up. He had a speech prepared, but despite being smaller, Kurt could be intimidating when he got angry, and his words disappeared. "Blaine thinks that just because he was the leader of the Warblers that he can waltz into New Directions and take over. Heck, he's even got Rachel talking about him constantly, comparing me to him, begging for duets with him, despite the fact that they have a million West Side Story songs together."

"He doesn't think that Finn," Kurt said with exasperation. "He's just trying to fit in."

"Well, he's trying too hard," Finn replied. "He still loves those guys at Dalton. He texts them all the time, even during rehearsals. What if he's just trying to sabotage us for Sectionals?"

"You have got to be kidding me, Finn!" Kurt was incredulous. "Blaine would never do that!"

"I think there's a lot Blaine would do that you don't know about!" Finn yelled back, instantly regretting his statement.

Kurt's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Finn hesitated. "I just mean…people don't think I notice things, but I do. Blaine puts on a face for the world. He's not real. Last year he kissed Rachel, now he's hanging around Santana. I just…I worry about you Kurt. I don't want anybody hurting you," he finished quietly.

Kurt's anger dissipated slightly at the genuine concern he saw in his brother's eyes. "Blaine would never hurt me Finn. He's used to hiding, seeking people's approval. He hates conflict and he tries to erase it where he can with song. You know what he's been through."

"I do Kurt. I just hope he's not using that to charm everyone into believing he's someone he's not."

Kurt did not like hearing anyone talking badly about Blaine, but he especially hated it from Finn. "Blaine's a natural leader Finn. And instead of getting angry at him for it, maybe you just need to step it up a bit. I saw you trying to protect that new kid. It's nice."

"It's what I never did for you Kurt," he said, lowering his eyes. "He reminds me of you a bit."

"So just be  _that_  guy. And lay off of Blaine. He doesn't deserve it."

The boys turned when they heard a yell from the kitchen. "Kids, you ready?"

Finn and Kurt looked at each other. Finn turned to the door. He made no promises in regards to Blaine, a fact that did not go unnoticed by Kurt. Kurt sighed, and followed his brother out the door.

* * *

"All right ladies, take a break," Shelby called to Santana, Brittany and Mercedes.

The three had been working the vocals for Candyman for 2 hours now. The Troubletones were not like New Directions at all. They planned and they worked, and Shelby worked them hard. Mercedes was right, she was a fabulous vocal coach, but she could also be relentless. Mercedes was getting used to it, but it was all new to Santana and Brittany. Despite being quite used to Cheerios practice, this was different. When Shelby gave them a rest, Santana collapsed on the floor.

"Here." Brittany handed Santana water, sitting next to the black haired girl hip-to-hip facing her. She reached over Santana, placing her hand on the floor next to her, nearly hugging her. Santana initially bristled at the intimacy, but tried to relax. She sat up to drink, bringing her dangerously close to Brittany's lips. Every instinct told her to kiss them. Her eyes began to dart around and her heart sped up.

Brittany grasped her hand, bringing Santana's gaze back to her. The blond smiled at her, and though Santana's nerves relaxed a bit, her breathing continued to quicken. "I don't have any chocolate, but my lips are still sweet," Brittany quietly remarked, eyebrows raised.

Santana blushed and looked around. Shelby was not paying any attention to them, rearranging a few bars of the song at the piano before starting again. Mercedes was sitting in the corner texting, probably with her new boyfriend. Sugar was off doing some sort of dance and singing horribly off key. Santana turned back to Brittany.  _So beautiful_ , she thought. She took a deep breath, and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

Brittany beamed. "Even better than chocolate!" she said. Santana checked the room nervously and was pleasantly surprised that no one had moved or even seemed to notice.

She turned back to Brittany and laughed. "Definitely better than chocolate."

* * *

Kurt waited at the chairs with crossed arms, foot nearly tapping with impatience, as Blaine shook hands enthusiastically with the new kid. Finally, Blaine walked back to him and frowned at the glower on his boyfriend's face. "What?" he asked innocently, picking up his brown shoulder bag to leave.

"Have a thing for tenors do you?" Kurt said, his own black bag already looped over his arm.

Blaine looked back at Rory, then returned his gaze to Kurt with an amused grin, hazel eyes shining. "Rory is completely straight, don't you see how he stares at the girls?"

"Rory is Irish," Kurt retorted, eyebrows raised. "I know how you like your Irish tenors."

Blaine shook his head and took Kurt's hand, leading him out of the chorus room to the parking lot. The girls had rehearsal this afternoon to choreograph "America" so he finally had an afternoon off. "I think you have that backwards, sweetheart. If I recall correctly, it was you swooning over Irish boys when we went to see that production of The Weir this summer."

"Well, at least I'm not letting Rachel Berry smack my ass in the middle of the choir room. An ass, I should point out by the way, that is mine," Kurt said playfully.

"Halloween is over Kurt, and yet I still see before me a very scary green eyed little monster," he teased. As they arrived at Blaine's car, he pushed Kurt up against the door, glancing around quickly. He knew the hockey team was still at their practice and he could see the football team running laps on the field. He placed his hands on the door, trapping his boyfriend between them. He pressed his hips seductively into Kurt as his eyes darkened. "Am I forever going to be having to tame your jealousy, Kurt?"

Kurt bit his lip and flushed, feeling his own body shiver between Blaine's heat and the cold of the metal door. Blaine smiled at the small moan that escaped Kurt's lips. "Forever and ever, Mr. Anderson." Kurt sighed, barely containing his desire to devour him. "Now take me home."


	8. The First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was really the hardest chapter for me to write. The First Time took my breath away, and apparently with it went all ability to think straight. As soon as I recovered from that, a certain someone who we know and love threw me for another amazing loop! Luckily, I recovered by Friday and words started flowing again.
> 
> So special thanks: To RIB, Glee, Darren and Chris, The First Time was an extraordinary work of art and I couldn't top it with a ten foot pole. And to that certain someone, Curt Mega, you are forever my inspiration to be better than I am, to continue to grow, and now to continue to write.

Blaine shook his head to clear it as he sat in the small break room watching the lean new Warbler head off to lacrosse practice. Meeting the smooth and not at all subtle Sebastian Smythewas not at all what he had planned when he had come to Dalton that day to invite his friends to West Side Story. But he put it behind him and made his way to the dormitory. He had come to talk to Nick but now he had even more questions.

He found the guys lounging around the common room, talking, laughing and still congratulating Nick on his phenomenal performance of  _Uptown Girl_. They were teasing Nick for flirting with the French teacher, saying he was going to get her fired. He tried to brush them off but they were relentless. Nick was relieved when Blaine entered the room and attention turned to him.

"Hey guys, do you mind if I steal Nick for a minute?" Blaine asked.

"Finally broke free of Sebastian's grasp, I see," Trent teased. "Congratulations!"

Blaine looked at his friend with a bemused side-eye. "Sex on a stick, Trent? Really?"

All the guys laughed as Trent blushed and chuckled at Blaine. "Well, it's the truth and you know it. Kurt is the luckiest guy in the world."

"Thank you Trent," Blaine smiled warmly, "But I'm the lucky one." He turned to the new lead singer. "Ready Nick?"

"You two be good now!" Jeff called as they walked away. Both boys just shook their heads laughing.

Blaine beamed as he and Nick headed out alone onto the Dalton campus. "Why didn't you tell me you were singing lead?"

Nick grinned. "Wanted to surprise you at Sectionals. Now we'll have to alter the game plan! Why didn't you tell me you were coming by to visit?"

"Wanted to surprise  _you_ ," Blaine smiled. "And the guys. Didn't know I would get a performance out of it. Nick, I'm so very proud of you. When you sang for me at Kurt's house in August, I had hoped I was passing the torch to you. But seeing you up there, I couldn't be happier for you."

Nick placed his hands in his pockets, humbly. "Thanks, brother."

"So tell me about this Sebastian guy?" Blaine said, warily.

Nick looked over considering his friend. "He's amazingly talented. Great singer, great dancer. Smart. Worldly. The guys think he's a blast." Nick paused and stopped walking. Blaine turned to him, waiting for the rest that Nick was leaving out. "And he's had five boyfriends already since the start of the year. Seems to enjoy breaking hearts. Be careful around him."

And there it was. Blaine nodded and started again down the path. He had thought just as much. "He asked why I left Dalton. I," he hesitated. "I didn't tell him. I'd prefer you guys don't either."

"We would never do that, that's your business. All the guys know that." Nick assured him.

Even with everything Nick had said about Sebastian, he couldn't help but still be intrigued. It wouldn't hurt to meet the guy once more for coffee. Maybe it was having that connection to Dalton, the chance to be that leader again. Maybe it was just the idea of having someone to talk to who didn't know anything about him or his past.

They walked in silence for a while. Nick let Blaine lead the way. Despite the excitement of the  _Uptown Girl_  performance, Nick could see Blaine was contemplative and it wasn't about Sebastian. He didn't think Blaine had come just to invite them to West Side Story.

The boys slowly came upon the Dalton chapel. The landscaping was comforting and beautiful. Trees stood giving shade to stone benches that sat amongst gardens, bushes and a koi pond. Nick watched as Blaine sat on a bench at the edge of the pond placing his head in his hands for a moment watching the fish. This was one of Nick's favorite places on campus. When he needed to think, write, or just sit still for a moment, he came here. Now though, he just studied his friend. Something was clearly on his mind, but he allowed Blaine the time and space he needed to find his own words.

Finally, remaining bent over, arms on his knees, hands clasped in front of him, Blaine raised his head to meet his best friend's eyes. "What do you think about forgiveness, Nick?"

Nick breathed in slowly, then blew out a breath. He took a seat in the grass on the other side of the bench, wrapping his arms around his pulled up knees. 

"I think forgiveness is a complicated and wonderful thing," Nick started. "What's this about?" he asked, raising an eyebrow to Blaine.

Blaine took a deep breath. He struggled even to say the words. "My father wants me to come for dinner."

Nick scrutinized him. "And you don't want to." He didn't need to ask, Blaine's feelings were written all over his face.

Blaine shook his head. Tears were forming in his eyes and he told Nick the same thing he'd told Kurt. "He's hurt me so many times Nick. I don't know how much more I can endure."

"I think you're stronger than you think you are." Nick laid his hand on Blaine's clasped hands. "You asked me about forgiveness." Blaine nodded, eyes shining with unshed tears. "Forgiveness is a lot of things, and one of them is putting your past behind you so that you can live in the moment. It's not forgetting or saying that what happened was ok, but it's saying that you won't let it run your life anymore. So you need to ask yourself, do you need to see him, to do that?"

"So you think I should go," Blaine said with a hint of resignation.

Nick shook his head. "I think you have to do what's right for you when you're ready. And only you can decide if and when you're ready."

Blaine's tears started flowing. "I'm not doing well Nick." He rose to his feet, suddenly restless and pacing, running his fingers through his hair. "New Directions, it's not like here. Everyone fights all the time, no one supports one another, it's just a big battle of who's better than whom." Blaine hadn't realized how much he had been holding in. Mercedes and Santana's defection was one thing, but Finn's animosity really hurt him. He only ever tried to help the group, to create the brotherhood and sisterhood that the Warblers so naturally possessed and that he missed so dearly. Knowing someone was always there for him, always ready to help, always there to pick up the pieces when any member fell apart. "I really miss you guys, everyday."

Nick got up and hugged the boy who let out a month of frustration.  Finally Blaine relaxed into sniffles. "I told Sebastian my heart is at McKinley, and it is…he is. And things are wonderful with Kurt, Nick, I love him so much. But no matter where I am it seems, it's never enough. When will it all just be enough?"

Nick placed his hands on Blaine's shoulders and gripped him at arm's length. "We are  _always_  here for you. We will be at your shows, we will answer your texts and your calls, and anytime you need to escape, we are here. But Dalton was always an escape for you. Now it's time to deal with the real world."

"Like my father?" Blaine asked sadly.

"Like your father." Nick paused for a moment, letting everything sink in for Blaine. Then a thought popped into his head. "I once heard a quote about forgiveness. Do you want to hear it?" Blaine nodded. "Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle, by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again."

"I always used to pray for a miracle," Blaine whispered staring at the chapel.

Nick let go of the boy and placed his hands in his pockets, following Blaine's gaze. "So good or bad, maybe this is the answer."

* * *

Blaine rounded the corner of the hallway of McKinley, heading to calculus, when he saw Mike and his father arguing. Blaine's instincts were to allow them their privacy, but something in Mike's father's demeanor was way too familiar and warned him to stay. He discreetly moved within earshot.

"You need to learn the difference between grown up dreams and kid dreams," his father urged.

"I'm not going to be a doctor," Mike insisted. "I will be a professional dancer." His father scoffed. "I'll pay my own way through college; I don't want your money!"

Mr. Chang stared at his son with a look that Blaine recognized. He had seen it from his own father many times before. He felt chills up his spine. "As long as you continue to waste your life with this silly fantasy, you will no longer be my son."

Mike swallowed hard, locking his eyes with the man. He never had thought it would come to this. He had never wanted it to. But going through life without dance would be like drowning. He couldn't give it up. "Then I guess I don't have a dad anymore," he said with a resolve Blaine knew was likely soon to falter.

Mike stared off into nothingness as his father walked out. Blaine recognized the narrowing of focus, the sudden silence of the world around the boy. He waited. Soon, Mike came out of the haze and glanced around him. He caught Blaine's eye and immediately bristled, ready to bolt, embarrassed by being publicly reprimanded and disowned by his father, ashamed of how much he wanted to just break out in tears. No one would understand how he felt. But then, he remembered; Blaine would.

Blaine saw the flicker of recognition in Mike's face and he walked over. Blaine had always admired the boy, ever since he saw him dance for the first time during their benefit concert last year. They had shared some laughs during rehearsals for West Side Story. They had had some fun during Last Friday Night. But he had no idea that they shared something much more personal. Blaine touched Mike's arm. The boy was still shell-shocked.

"Do you need to get out of here?" Blaine asked quietly.

Mike shook his head. "I don't want to get you in trouble."

Blaine smiled. "It's ok. Really, it's not a big deal. We'll go for coffee, we'll come back before rehearsal. Ok?"

Mike didn't want either of them to get in trouble, but his mind was racing, his heart was broken, and he had no idea how he could possibly concentrate in class. If he didn't clear his head, rehearsal this afternoon would be a wash as well, and wouldn't that have just proven his Dad right? He nodded to Blaine. "Ok."

Blaine took out his phone and shot off a quick text.

**To Tina and Kurt: Mike's Dad just showed up at school and they had it out. I'm going to take him for coffee. Cover for us, be back in time for rehearsal. – Blaine**

He put his arm around Mike, and guided him toward his car. "Come on," he said soothingly.

They took the drive to the Lima Bean in uncomfortable silence until Blaine suggested they run their lines to distract Mike. They arrived, just as they finished their last scene. Blaine ordered for himself and briefly wondered, as Mike ordered, what the barrista must think of him now that he had been there with Kurt, Sebastian and Mike. He resolved to find another coffee shop and stop frequenting the Lima Bean with guys other than Kurt.

He and Mike settled at a table. He was reminded of a conversation with Burt in their living room, just after his father kicked him out. He suddenly understood how Burt must have felt that night. He knew how important it was not to push so he waited in silence, until Mike was ready to talk. Finally, staring at his coffee, Mike spoke up. "Does it get easier?" he asked.

Blaine looked at him sadly. "I don't know," he answered honestly. It certainly wasn't easier yet for him, and in many ways it was harder. Dealing with the certainty of what he was going home to was a far cry better than facing the unknown in Blaine's opinion. Although his Dad still wanted him to come to dinner he had made no further attempts to see or talk to his son. Blaine was certain his father would not show up to any of his performances, despite mailing out a flyer himself.

Unknowingly, Mike was thinking the same thing. "Do you think I made the right decision?" Mike asked with sadness in his eyes.

Blaine blinked long and hard, then looked at the boy across from him. "I can't decide that for you. I only know that I did, no matter how hard it was or continues to be. At some point, every son chooses a different path than what their father wants. Most fathers don't walk away." He took a deep breath and glanced out the window. "Some do."

"Do they come back?" Mike asked quietly.

"I'll let you know." Blaine sighed, subconsciously rubbing his neck anxiously. He hadn't planned on telling anyone besides Nick until he and Kurt had decided what to do, but it seemed right. "My father wants Kurt and me to have dinner with him." He played with the lid of his own coffee cup, uneasy still with vulnerability amongst any of the McKinley kids aside from Rachel and Santana. But if he and Mike could truly be friends, maybe it would be a start.

"Are you going?" Mike asked curiously.

Blaine looked up. "Do you think I should?" he asked.

"I would," Mike answered confidently.

They both grew quiet as they finished their coffee. Blaine really didn't know what to do. Kurt said he should go. Nick and Mike both said he should go. All of them clearly knew what he was going through. So why was he gripping his cell phone, ready to push number 4 on his speed dial?

* * *

She came striding out of the auditorium, as Mike made his way inside. He had called her impulsively, hoping that of everyone, she would tell him not to go, not to give his father the satisfaction of winning another round. "You rang?" Santana demanded, hands on her hips standing over Blaine, attitude ripe for a fight.

Now he thought better of his call. Blaine put his hands up. "Nevermind, I don't want to talk to you if you're like this," he dismissed her with annoyance. Her opinion didn't really matter, he realized. He was just looking for someone else to validate what he already thought.

"Blaine, wait." Santana stopped him. "I'm sorry. Tough day."

"You want to talk about it?" Blaine didn't really feel up for it, but despite having a million thoughts running through his head he couldn't stop himself from offering support.

She considered him for a minute. "No, not really. Stop avoiding your own problems by solving mine. Come on boyfriend, what's on your mind."

Having foregone his original plan, he was about to tell her it was nothing, when a thought came to mind.

"What do you know about Scandals?" he asked, eyebrows scrunched, biting his lower lip. He had no idea if he would be grateful or regret it, but he knew no one else to talk to about it.

Santana studied him, crossing her arms across her chest and smiling. "Well, well," she said, circling him. Blaine lowered his head in exasperation but he also blushed, knowing she was checking him out and he brought this on himself. "No…you two haven't done the deed yet," she said coming back around to meet his gaze. Blaine hated the way she knew these things. "So Scandals is…a warm up?" she asked.

Blaine's blush grew deeper and he wanted to answer but could only shrug. Yeah, he was definitely regretting it.

"Nice, boyfriend!" she nodded approvingly. "When are you going?"

"We're umm," Blaine cleared his throat. "We're meeting a friend there tomorrow. After rehearsal."

Santana raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. What kind of friend?"

Blaine was certain this whole conversation was a very big mistake. "He's just a new Warbler that's been interested in getting to know me," he explained defensively. "He's just come to Ohio from Paris, and he's really talented, and he wants to lead the Warblers."

Santana laughed, already pegging this guy for a player, and one who had his eye set on Blaine at that. She would definitely need to meet this guy. "Oh, boy, Blaine Anderson, you sure know how to get yourself into a mess." Blaine wondered if someone had suddenly turned the heat up really high at McKinley. Or maybe he was getting a fever, because sweat was starting to pour out of him. "Now, don't take this the wrong way, because I think it's a fabulous lead up to finally gettin' a piece of Hummel's ass, but are you really sure he's agreed to this plan? Because Scandals just doesn't seem to be the place for an ultra-jealous, delicate guy such as Porcelain."

Blaine frowned, then lifted his chin defiantly. "We're being adventurous. Expanding our horizons. As artists."

"Oh ok," Santana nodded sarcastically. "Because to me it seems that you're trying to prove something." She softened her gaze as his face fell and tried to reassure him. "Look, there's nothing wrong with you two trying new things and being adventurous. I think it's great that you guys go out there and experience that kind of place and have a good time. Just make sure you're doing it for you, and not anyone else."

Blaine nodded and he offered her a small smile. "Thanks Santana."

Santana turned to go back to rehearsal. "And don't be stupid! Kurt doesn't like stupid!" she called behind her.

* * *

Santana's words played over again in his ears as Blaine walked nearly a mile away from Scandals before his head finally cleared of the alcohol fuzziness and the echo of Kurt's yelling ceased to ring in his ears. He realized it would take him forever to walk across town back home. Stealing himself, he suddenly remembered that Scandals was only a few miles from Lima Heights Adjacent and he pulled out his cell phone.

Santana arrived ten minutes later to find Blaine huddled up on the side of the road, the cool air slowly chilling his bones. She stopped next to him and he got up, wordlessly getting in and slamming the door. "I told you Kurt doesn't like stupid," Santana snarked.

"Shut up," he mumbled half-heartedly as he put his seat belt on. "Just drive."

"Where to boss?" she answered.

Shit. He threw his head back helplessly onto the headrest. Now that he was sobering up and his adrenaline was finally slowing from the fight with Kurt, he realized exactly just how much trouble he was going to be in if his parents found out. He'd used a fake ID to get into a gay bar where he got drunk and was late for curfew. And he did it on a school night, the one night this week his mother was actually home from work. His worries about Kurt were swiftly pushed to the back burner as he sat frozen in the seat. "If my mother finds out about this, 'Tana, I'm dead."

"Well then we're just going to have to make sure she doesn't find out," Santana said reasonably.

"No, Santana, I'm serious," Blaine panicked, not truly hearing her. "What the hell was I thinking? If she calls my Dad, he'll come over immediately. It'll be worse than ever. There'll be no way I'd be able to perform tomorrow."

She took his hand and squeezed hard trying to break his thoughts and tame the wildness that was growing his eyes. She could feel his pulse beating violently beneath her fingers and she reached a hand over to his face. "Blaine, look at me," she demanded with as much force as she could muster. He blinked and turned to her and she waited until his eyes started to focus. "Blaine, I'm not going to let them hurt you, okay? Can you stay over at my house tonight?"

Blaine shook his head. "Mom knows I was on a date with Kurt. I can't say I'm sleeping over there and she'll get suspicious about me sleeping at your house."

"Ok," Santana said thinking and she turned back to the wheel and started the car. "Then we get you some coffee at the Lima Bean, make sure you're totally sober, and I take you home. What time does she usually go to sleep?"

Blaine glanced at the clock. It was nearing midnight already. "Usually around 11 when she's home, but if I'm late for curfew she'll stay up."

"Text her now. Tell her you're on your way. Tell her you had a fight with Kurt and needed to walk it off and you just realized how late it was. That'll play into her Mama Hen side and hopefully when you get home she'll only care about making sure you're okay."

"Okay," Blaine said as he did exactly what Santana told him as they drove back to the center of town. His mother quickly responded with relief and a promise to talk when they got home if he wanted. Blaine told her he was exhausted and he just wanted to go to sleep, but he promised that they would talk soon.

"You're the best Santana," he told her when she'd come back with two coffees in her hand just as the employees closed up for the night.

"Tell me something I don't know, Boyfriend," she smirked then smiled softly as she drove him home.

* * *

" _I want to go to your house," Kurt whispered._

He thought his heart had settled the moment Kurt had forgiven him in the auditorium, but lying in each other's arms, Blaine was more content than either had ever felt. He couldn't think of a touch he loved more than Kurt's thumb gently rubbing against his chest. They had long ago found themselves at a loss for words, but they hadn't needed them anymore. They had found a new way of communicating, and words had paled in comparison. Now, as they relaxed into a comfortable place, nose to nose, Blaine's mind was calm for the first time in weeks.

"I love you," Blaine whispered.

"I love you too," Kurt smiled. The night had been magical. Everything he had imagined and more.

Blaine brushed Kurt's hair with his fingers. "Kurt, when you told me tonight that you were proud of me, that would have been enough to last me a lifetime. But then, you gave me  _this_. And you made me remember something I never should have forgotten."

"What?" Kurt whispered.

"When you sang Blackbird so many months ago, I realized that with you by my side, I could do anything. I knew then that together no one and nothing could stop us. But my father made me forget." Tears started to flow.

"Hush, darling." Kurt cursed this coming between them tonight, but he also understood. The night had made them extraordinarily vulnerable and his emotions were on the surface as well. He felt his own tears fall as he wiped away Blaine's.

"I'm ready to face him again," Blaine said firmly. "We can do it, I know we can. You and Nick were right, I have to do this. I know it will kill you to be by my side, believe me, but..." He was rambling and he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say. His mind went back to his conversation with Nick. "Maybe this time will be my miracle. Maybe this time it will make everything, make us, be enough."

"I am  _always_  with you Blaine. Mind, body, and soul. There will never be moments that I will be prouder than the moments when I stand by your side. I told you when he first asked that I would go with you, and I have never changed my mind." Kurt held his hand up, and Blaine wrapped his fingers around them, smiling softly. Kurt pulled it to his chest. "We are one hand, one heart. When your heart breaks, mine does too. And when your heart heals, mine grows even stronger. And when we fight, we fight as one. We are in this together." Kurt placed Blaine's hand on his heart and let go, wrapping his arm around Blaine's back and pulling him in closely. "And I will never, ever, let you forget again."

Kurt closed the inch gap between them and his lips met Blaine's, salty with tears and hot with passion. It began soft and tender, but grew heated with the regrets of the past, the fears of today and the promise of forever. Kurt pulled away, but only for a moment. "How about another reminder?" he asked breathlessly.

Blaine smiled and crashed his lips back onto Kurt's. He nodded urgently, not letting go. Against his boyfriend's lips, he could only whisper one word, "Please."

* * *

Blaine and Kurt found Mr. Hummel in the audience after their second night performance. Carole was off talking to Rachel and Finn. Burt took Kurt in for a tremendous hug.

"You were amazing son. Stole the show! No offense, Blaine," Burt said, smiling proudly.

"None taken, sir, Kurt is incredible," he said, looking lovingly at his wonderfully perfect boyfriend. Kurt glowed with pride dressed in a ridiculously sexy outfit ready to go to the after-party that they would not be missing this evening.

Burt side-eyed Blaine, amused, then held his hand out. "You also did a damn good job Blaine. You should really be proud."

Blaine beamed. "Thank you. That really means a lot, I really hope you enjoyed it."

"So, I know you two are going to a party tonight, and you have your matinee tomorrow. What's on your schedule after that?" Burt asked.

Grabbing Kurt's hand, Blaine grew serious. "Sir." Burt raised an eyebrow.  _So he was back to the Sirs, was he?_ "There is something Kurt and I need to talk to you about." Kurt glanced over to Blaine and squeezed his hand.

Burt stared the boy down. "If it's about last night, Kurt already told me," he said.

Blaine stood in a stunned panic for a minute, until he remembered he had to breathe to survive. "Oh, God, no…" Blaine blushed with embarrassment. "It's not about that," he stammered, glaring at Kurt out of the corner of his eye. He would never in their lifetime get used to the fact that Kurt told his dad everything. Kurt shrugged a sheepish grin back at his boyfriend. He'd told his father when Burt and Carole had arrived back home this afternoon from Washington, but didn't think Blaine needed to know before tonight's performance. He knew it would be enough to rattle him with his father in the audience that night, and he wanted Blaine to be perfect.

"Well son, what is it?" Burt crossed his arms over his chest.

Blaine was still trying desperately to recover and it took him a moment. "A couple weeks ago, my father asked me over for dinner," he explained hesitantly. "He invited Kurt as well."

Burt studied them. Blaine looked incredibly anxious. Kurt stared at his father. He suspected that Kurt didn't really want to go, Kurt hated Blaine's father and likely always would for the pain he caused. But Kurt would also do anything for Blaine, and he understood how incredibly important this was. He turned to his son. "Well, Kurt, what do you want to do?"

"I want to be there to support Blaine," Kurt answered definitively.

Burt thought about it for a moment, weighing all the sides and options. "Kurt, you are almost 18, I'm not going to tell you no. But I am definitely worried about your safety. I need to know your plan if things get," he tried to find the right word, "messy."

Blaine spoke up first. "I know my father, Mr. Hummel. We'll get up and leave before anything bad happens. I won't let anything happen to Kurt, I promise. I'd call the police first."

Burt slowly nodded. "You call me to meet you at that coffee shop if you need to, you hear me?"

Kurt took his Dad's hand. "Yeah Dad, sure. Don't worry. Everything will be ok," he smiled, willing himself to believe it.

"Alright Blaine, tell him that Kurt is going with you."

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, sir."

"Stop it with the Sirs, Blaine," Burt reminded him gently. "Now, as for tonight," he said with a hard glance but a twinkle in his eye, "you two go to that party, and Kurt, you come home immediately after. Understood?"

"Understood Dad," Kurt said smiling and kissed his father on the cheek.

Kurt and Blaine grabbed hands and walked off to get their belongings. Everyone made final plans to get to the party at Brittany's house and the boys headed out to the car. Blaine started the engine, shifted into gear then grabbed Kurt's hand. He looked over to see Kurt grinning at him mischievously and he smiled back. "Detour?" he asked suggestively.

Kurt nodded firmly. "Detour."


	9. Mash Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is crazy long, twice my usual length. But some of my favorite moments I've ever written are in here, so I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> This chapter features a song by my wonderful friend Scott Evan Davis, called "I Am". You can listen to it on his website, www.scottevandavis.com. I'll link to it in the story. Scott is an amazing lyricist/composer and his second album is coming out soon. You can check out his website and order his first CD too.

Kurt stood outside the door after knocking until Mrs. Anderson opened it up. She greeted Kurt, with a broad and warm smile and took him immediately in her arms. "Kurt, it's so good to see you!" She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You as well, Mrs. Anderson," he said with a smile.

"How's the campaign going?" she asked as she went back to cleaning up in the kitchen. Kurt followed her in casually and placed his coat on the back of the kitchen chair. He had been here many times since they moved in, and it was all very comfortable now.

"The campaign is nasty," he answered frowning. "Truth is I'm really starting to hate politics. But I'm not going to give up, what I believe in is important to me."

"Good boy," she said proudly.

"How's Blaine?" Kurt asked tentatively.

"He left the house singing and jumping around, and he came home singing and jumping around and he hasn't stopped yet. So I'd say he's very, very nervous."

"Yeah," Kurt agreed, hearing Blaine's voice coming quietly from his room. "He did quite the performance in Glee Club today." Kurt thought back to  _Hot for Teacher_. Kurt had been stressing about tonight's dinner with Blaine's dad all day at school as well, and he had hoped to just make it through Glee Club so he could get home and get ready. Although he should have known, he wasn't prepared for Blaine's ridiculously sexy coping methods. He blushed just thinking of Blaine and the microphone stand, and the rest of the amazingly hot and provocative dance. He almost had to leave the room to save himself from embarrassment. It took all of his willpower to keep himself in control. He was pretty sure that if Blaine had caught his eye during the performance he would have lost it then and there. Blaine must have known because thankfully, he did a not.

Mrs. Anderson looked at the clock on the wall. "It's almost time for you boys to go. Why don't you go check on him."

Kurt took the brief walk down the hallway, listening to Blaine's voice grow louder as he approached. He recognized the song immediately. It was another Broadway show that Kurt had put on his iPod so many months ago. Kurt quietly stood, leaning in the doorframe. He saw Blaine dressed conservatively in simple slacks and a button down. He lacked the flair that he had come to wear, with Kurt's encouragement, since moving out of his father's home. Blaine was looking out the window of his room, singing softly.

[ _I peer through windows, watch life go by_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_bE0O8iAWM)   
_Dream of tomorrow and wonder why_   
_The past is holding me, keeping life at bay_   
_I wander lost in yesterday_   
_Wanting to fly, but scared to try_

Blaine turned to see Kurt in the doorway. Kurt was gorgeous, in tight black slacks and a sweater that sat snuggly on his torso. Blaine was reminded once again that Kurt was his very own angel. He smiled from across the room. His hazel eyes were vessels of love that shone only greater with the distance between them.

_But if someone like you, loved someone like me_   
_Then suddenly nothing would ever be the same_   
_My heart would take wing, and I'd feel so alive_   
_If someone like you, loved me._

Blaine closed the distance between them, taking Kurt's hands and pulling him to the center of the room, never taking his eyes from Kurt's.

_So many secrets I've longed to share_   
_All I have needed is someone there_   
_To help me see a world I've never seen before_   
_A love to open every door_   
_To set me free, so I can soar!_

Kurt teared up. He could tell Blaine was terrified. But at the same time, he trusted Kurt and that made Kurt's heart melt. Because he felt just as much that Blaine was his own savior who had come into his life to show him what love truly meant. And sometimes it meant being there for someone, even when you really wanted to be anywhere else. Kurt joined Blaine in the final verse.

_If someone like you, loved someone like me_   
_Then suddenly nothing would ever be the same_   
_My heart would take wing, and I'd feel so alive_   
_If someone like you, loved me_   
_Loved me, loved me!_

"Hi there." Blaine smiled shyly.

"Hi," Kurt returned the greeting. "Are you ready?"

"No," Blaine answered definitively. "But I've got you, so that's all I need."

Kurt kissed him softly on the lips, then held up his hand. Blaine wrapped his fingers around Kurt's and kissed Kurt's fingertips.

"If things get bad, I want you to go through the kitchen and out the back door," Blaine warned Kurt.

Kurt shook his head. "It's not going to get like that," he said trying to reassure himself as much as Blaine.

Blaine would hear none of it. "Promise me Kurt. I," he looked at the floor, face flushing with the shame of bad memories. "I can't bear the thought of you seeing something like that again."

Kurt understood. Placing a comforting hand on Blaine's cheek, he answered him. "I promise."

Hand in hand, they went out to the living room, said goodbye to Blaine's mother, grabbed their coats and headed back to Westerville to have dinner with Colonel Anderson.

* * *

Blaine and Kurt walked up to the front step of Blaine's old home still hand in hand. Blaine stopped mid air as he reached for the doorbell, looking down at their clasped hands.

Kurt followed his glance, then looked up at Blaine, remembering what happened the last time his father had seen them holding hands. "Do you want to…"

"No." Blaine said firmly. "This is how we win, remember? He wants us, this is us." Blaine rang the doorbell and grasped Kurt's hand even more strongly.

Colonel Anderson answered the door. To Kurt's surprise, the man appeared nervous, and he didn't miss the glance down to the boys holding hands. Kurt braced himself, but there was no explosion or nasty comment. Instead Blaine's father took a deep breath and opened the door wide. "Please come in," he offered.

Blaine would not let go of Kurt's hand, and Kurt felt that it might be the only thing holding him up. The two stood in the living room, unsure of what to do. Kurt looked around and saw the dinner table set for three with two place settings opposite one.

"So, how have you been Blaine?" The awkwardness in the room grew increasingly uncomfortable by the moment.

"Fine, Sir," Blaine answered, with his head down. Kurt frowned at how the confidence was just sucked out of Blaine in the presence of his father, and he gave Blaine's hand a squeeze.

The gesture did not go unnoticed. "And you, Kurt?" the Colonel asked with even greater uneasiness.

Kurt heard in his head his father's orders to be respectful toward Blaine's father. "I am well, Sir, thank you."

He turned back to Blaine. "How's your mother?" he asked with interest.

"No," Blaine answered firmly and his eyes shot straight up to his father's for the first time since entering the house. "I am not here to talk about Mom. You asked me over. And Kurt. I'm not here to do your dirty work."

His father shook his head. "That's not what I meant Blaine." He looked at his son and sighed. "I think maybe it's time I go get dinner."

As the Colonel left, Blaine visibly relaxed for the first time and let Kurt's hand go. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair. "I don't know if I can do this," he whispered.

Kurt took his shoulders and turned him face to face. "You  _can_  do this Blaine. Just hear him out. No battles, no hurtful words, and an invitation to return. Remember?"

"Yeah," Blaine said nodding and he went to take a seat at the dinner table on the side with the two chairs. Kurt followed and sat next to him.

A few minutes later, Blaine's father brought out dinner, and it looked like he'd made a significant effort. There was shrimp scampi as well as garlic bread and vegetables. They each served themselves, and engaged in some small talk that was stilted and awkward but, Kurt thought, at least it was a start. They talked about school and Blaine's grades, a sore subject between the two, but Blaine was doing well and was proud to tell his father so. The Colonel showed an interest in Kurt, however disingenuous it may have felt, and he informed the man that he was running for student council president. He decided to leave out the part about his anti-bullying platform. Kurt thought everything was going as well as could be expected until he glanced over to Blaine and saw his boyfriend's eyes shifting. He reached a hand down to settle him, but Blaine looked up at his father.

"Why didn't you come to my show?" he asked hurt and confused. "You say you want things to be different, but I had the starring role, and you didn't even bother to come."

The accusation behind the question startled Blaine's father and he put his silverware down. "You didn't ask me to come, Blaine." His voice was calm, but there was an edge behind it.

"Like hell I didn't. I sent you a flyer in the mail."

Kurt saw a flash behind the Colonel's eyes that he fought to contain. "Do not be disrespectful, Blaine, please."

The reprimand set Blaine's nerves afire. "Why did you even ask me here?"

Blaine's father looked to Kurt for help in calming his son, and Kurt placed his hand on Blaine's back and rubbed small circles against him.

"We've been having a lot of conversations at the base, Blaine, since…the repeal." Kurt closed his eyes. He had been right. The Colonel continued hesitantly. Vulnerability was still very difficult for him, especially in front of his son. "I've been meeting with someone, a counselor, since October. He says you can come in with me sometime. If you want."

Blaine shook his head. "What for?" he mumbled.

"To talk about…us…how we felt, how we feel." His voice grew stronger. "To talk about how we feel about each other."

Blaine looked up with sadness and anger in his eyes. He had tried so many times and every time he had just been hurt. How many more times could he take? "How  _do_  you feel about me Dad? Because the last I remember, you kicked me out of the house for loving the person that I love." Blaine was starting to lose his control, but he fought to keep the tears from falling. "I remember you hating me for who I was. Hurting me.  I remember you never being happy with me, never being proud of me. So please, cut the small talk and tell me, what exactly has changed?"

"Being apart from you has been hard Blaine. I miss you."

"Do you miss Mom or do you miss me," Blaine asked.

"I miss both of you," he admitted, "But it's too late for me and your mom."

"Yeah, well, maybe it's too late for  _me_ ," he yelled at his father.

"Blaine." Kurt tried to calm him, but he couldn't.

"No, Kurt! No!" Blaine turned frantically to Kurt. Kurt felt his own tears building, but he held them back as Blaine grabbed his arms. "You are the only one who knows everything he did to me. Not Nick, not Santana, just you. So you tell me why it shouldn't be too late!"

Kurt slid his hand into Blaine's, trying to remain calm but his voice was desperate and tears fell from his eyes. "Because you love him. And he's trying. And he's alive. And as long as he's alive, you should have a chance to have a father. Because once they're gone, they're gone Blaine, they don't come back."  He knew that far too well.

Blaine stared at Kurt for a long time. Then he looked back at his father. "I need some air." Blaine stood up from the table and went out the front door slamming it behind him. Kurt stared after him.

"Thank you," Colonel Anderson said, and Kurt remembered where he was and who he was with. He turned back, a glare in his eye.

"I didn't do it for you," Kurt said with disdain. "Blaine deserves to have a Dad. I just hope you're really willing to be one." Kurt got up and went to the door, grabbing Blaine's coat before heading out.

He found Blaine sitting on the front steps, and he sat down next to him, taking Blaine's hand. "You're freezing," he said, as he took Blaine's coat and wrapped it around him.

"I don't know what I'm doing, Kurt." Blaine said voice cracking.

"That seems to be a common theme with you," Kurt gently teased, nudging Blaine's shoulder with his own. Blaine put his head on Kurt's shoulder.

"I don't trust him. Anything he says, I don't trust him. I feel like he's just trying to reel me in so he can throw me back when he remembers I'm not what he wants."

"It seems like he's really trying Blaine. I know it's hard to believe, but isn't this what you wanted?"

"I don't have any clue what I want anymore." Blaine got up running his fingers through his hair and walked a few steps onto the grass of the front lawn. "I don't even know how to do this."

Kurt followed him and looked him in the eye. He remembered something he had recently heard. "Baby steps, Blaine. One foot in front of the other. Going toward what you want, not away from it."

"And what is it that I want?" Blaine's eyes nearly begged Kurt for answers.

Kurt looked up to the clear night sky. There were fewer lights out here, and the stars shined brightly. He glanced down to meet Blaine's eyes. "When you wished on a star as a kid, what did you wish for?"

"I always wished for you."

"Before you met me Blaine," he said with a slight roll of the eyes, "what did you wish for?"

"I don't remember," he said shaking his head.

"Yes you do," Kurt said with quiet certainty.

Blaine was quiet for a minute, remembering, then smiled softly as a tiny light in his eye flickered. "If I tell you than it won't come true."

Kurt reached for Blaine's shoulders and turned him around so they faced the same sky. Kurt wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriend, pulling him back close into his chest. He placed his face next to Blaine's and whispered in his ear, "Find your star."

Kurt looked up to the sky and found one that seemed to twinkle just for him. He waited until he felt Blaine do the same. "Ready?" he said softly.

Blaine nodded.

"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight." Kurt closed his eyes, and wished as hard as he could for Blaine to find peace in his heart. When he was done he opened them and looked out at the universe of stars until Blaine lowered his head.

"Do you remember now?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Yeah," he said, his voice so quiet it hummed. "I do."

He took Blaine's hand in one of his, turning him, and stroked his cheek with the other. "Then let's go back inside.

* * *

The rest of the night passed much better than the beginning. In Blaine's mind, they had won. It was only a small battle in a much greater war, but for the first time in a very long time, he came out of his father's home feeling a little good and somewhat hopeful. Other than his own outburst, there had been no harsh words, no disrespect, and they had in fact received an invitation to return. Blaine still had no idea what it all meant, and he still had many strong feelings about his history with his father. His heart was heavy, and he needed time to think, but he had just the slightest faith that perhaps, if they both worked really hard, they might have the chance of a relationship in the future. It wore him out.

Sitting in the car with Kurt in the driveway, Blaine laid back in the seat, staring at the ceiling, and sighed loudly. Kurt looked over at him and smiled. "What do you want to do?" he asked.

"Don't I have to get you home?" Blaine looked at the clock on his dashboard. They still had two hours left before Kurt's curfew, even for a school night. "Wow. It felt like we were in there for a lot longer than we were," he said with a slight laugh.

"My father also gave us an extra hour tonight, although he had the foresight to tell your mother we weren't to be alone in your room." Kurt frowned. Blaine smirked. He knew telling Burt had been a bad idea.

"I don't want to go home anyway," he admitted. "My emotions are all over the place. I have all this nervous energy I don't know what to do with."

"Whatever you want to do is fine with me, just please don't say you want to go back to Scandals."

Blaine shook his head. He definitely did not want to go back to Scandals, not tonight. Nor did he want to go to Dalton. Running into Sebastian tonight in either place, would be a horrible idea. But it gave him an idea. He took out his phone and shot off a text.

**From Blaine: Where are you?**

Kurt only raised an eyebrow as he waited for Blaine. He had a pretty good idea who Blaine was texting.

**From Santana: I'm at the Club**

**From Blaine: Mind if I join?**

Blaine waited a minute before getting a text back.

**From Santana: I'm with Brittany**

**From Blaine: I'm with Kurt**

Blaine waited another minute then:

**From Santana: It's open mic night. See you soon.**

Blaine smiled and put the car in drive. Kurt had waited patiently throughout the exchange, but now his patience had run thin. "So, where are we going and with whom?" he asked.

"You wanted to know where Santana and I go on our 'dates.' Now you'll get to see."

The car ride was quiet, as Blaine played a low key playlist. Kurt was amazed, but not unpleasantly so, when they pulled into the parking lot of the Night Town Jazz Club. The maitre d' knew Blaine by now, and led them over to one of the larger rounded booths where Santana and Brittany already sat. Kurt took in the intimate and comfortable atmosphere of the club, remembering his performance of Le Jazz Hot last year. He looked at the stage and for a moment considered taking the microphone. Blaine saw him staring off, and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the table. Blaine slid in next to Santana but Kurt made no move to sit, staring suspiciously at the two ladies. He hadn't realized Brittany would be there as well. Brittany had been running a vicious campaign against him that was surely Santana's doing. He hadn't said anything to Blaine, but he'd been very hurt by both girls lately. Sitting with them both after all he had been through that night already, was perhaps more than he could take.

Brittany seemed to notice. She got up from Santana's other side and came around to give him a hug. "Come on Kurt," she said with a pout. "There's no campaign and no Troubletones here. It's just us and the music. Right Santana?" she said with a knowing look to her best friend.

Santana grimaced, but looked up at Brittany and Kurt and agreed. "Fine, Porcelain. Truce for one night."

Brittany beamed and kissed Kurt on the cheek as if everything was now okay. And looking at the innocent girl, he almost believed it. He smiled and sat down. "Fine. For Blaine, a truce for tonight."

A waitress came over and took their drink orders. Blaine ordered a coffee and Kurt a diet coke. A gentleman was performing Billie Holiday's "Solitude" on the stage and Blaine found himself getting lost in the lyrics.

_In my solitude_   
_You haunt me_   
_With dreadful ease_   
_Of days gone by_

_In my solitude_   
_You taunt me_   
_With memories_   
_That never die_

"And what exactly brings the two of you out this way tonight," Santana asked heavily scrutinizing the two up and down. Blaine looked lost in thought, even for him, and Kurt was watching him anxiously. "Trouble in paradise?"

Kurt jumped on her. "And the truce lasts five seconds." He lost patience immediately, his nerves just too on edge. "No Santana, there is no trouble in Paradise. Blaine and I were just…"

Blaine cut him off. "We had dinner with my father tonight." His voice was low, he stared at the table, playing with his coffee cup. Santana and Brittany were silent. Kurt put his arm around Blaine and quietly stroked his hair.

Finally, Santana broke the silence. "How did it go?" she asked quietly.

"Good, I think, I don't know." His head was foggy, replaying the night, wondering what his father was doing now. Santana watched him, looking so lost and unsure. This wasn't the Blaine she knew, there was no mask here.

Brittany looked at Kurt and Santana confused, then turned to Blaine. "Wait, I don't get it? If it went well why are you so sad?"

Blaine finally looked up and found himself pulled into the blonde's blue eyes. He found her naiveté compelling, like a young child demanding the "whys" of a question you didn't know how to answer. Kurt and Santana stared at him as well. He tried to explain. "It's like…you think you know where you belong in the world, who you are, and who everyone else is. And suddenly, it's turned upside down and you don't know anything anymore."

"Well, I know who you are," Brittany said with a smile as if her answer would solve everything. "You are Blaine Warbler Anderson. And don't tell me you're not a Warbler anymore, because I've been bird watching for 10 years and I know a Warbler when I see one."

Blaine looked at Brittany askance, when Santana spoke up. "You can't let him do this to you Blaine. You've finally broken free and you're just going to let him back in to rule your world again?"

Blaine shook his head, "That's not my plan, Santana."

She grew angry. "That may not be your plan, Boyfriend, but it's exactly what's going to happen! And you, Kurt, you just let him do this? Just let him walk back in to the man who wants more than anything to keep you two apart?"

Kurt stared at her. "It was his choice, Santana, not mine. You think I wanted to go back there after everything? You think I wanted to sit across from the man who treated Blaine like he did? It killed me Santana, but I did it because I love him. Because unlike you, most people make sacrifices for the people we love, even when it hurts."

Santana looked as if Kurt had slapped her and Brittany grabbed her hand. Kurt and Santana had forgotten Blaine was even there, until he stood up.

"Coming here was a bad idea," he said, grabbing his coat.

Kurt immediately stood up. "No, Blaine, please, I'm sorry."

He looked at Kurt, then back at Santana. They both looked like they were going to cry and Brittany just seemed bewildered. "I just," he dropped his coat, but slid past Kurt, "I need to go to the bathroom," he said and he walked off.

The three of them sat in silence until Brittany spoke up. "You both just love him. That's why you're mad."

Santana looked at Brittany like she was crazy. "No, I don't."

"Yes you do," the blonde said matter-of-factly. "He'd be like your best friend other than me, if you let him. Except he scares you."

Santana looked embarrassed and her eyes flashed over to Kurt.

"Why does he scare you?" Kurt asked quietly.

Santana couldn't explain to Kurt that his boyfriend was a constant mirror of what she wanted and couldn't have. And she couldn't explain that as Blaine faced his past, she felt more urgency to face her present. Blaine urged her to be honest about herself, not with his words, but his actions. She had always clung to his fallout with his father as a reason to avoid her own coming out. If he faced his father and won, what excuse would she then have?

Santana never got a chance to answer though because suddenly they heard the piano start to play, and Kurt knew instantly the sound of Blaine's rhythms. Blaine was sitting at the piano with the microphone beside him. He didn't look at the trio, but they watched him intently as he sang.

[ _I've never been one to live the day_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_NUVpcZWkg)   
_Stand up and proudly have my say_   
_So I'd hide in the shadows_   
_And tuck away my dreams_

Santana bowed her head, as Blaine's eyes closed. Both remembering the moments lost, the dreams cast aside, the so many times people thought they were standing up when really they hid behind facades of sarcasm or perfection.

_I've never been one to choose to fight_   
_Or insist that what I think is right_   
_See it's safer to comply than be at war_

Blaine remembered the days and nights of compliance, doing what his father said, taking the pain, following the commands, nearly letting Kurt go rather than fight. Santana remembered the guys she had been with to hide from her parents, the orders she carried out on Sue's behalf, turning on her friends, keeping Brittany at bay out of fear. So many times they both denied themselves the only fight that truly mattered.

_But this is who I am_   
_I may not be a god or a superhero_   
_I am only who I am_   
_I may not be a king or a saint or an icon_   
_But learning who I was_   
_Has taught me who I am_

Brittany squeezed Santana's hand tightly as tears rolled down her best friend's cheeks. Santana may not be those things Blaine sang about, but she was everything to Brittany. Kurt watched Blaine, so proud of his courage that evening. Blaine had chosen to put his fear aside, to stand up to his father, to stop hiding, and to fight for his dreams. In Kurt's eyes, Blaine was everything he sang and more.

_I've been the one who would not leave_   
_And I've been the one left alone to grieve_   
_And I've proven too hardened_   
_For someone to deceive_

So many nights they stayed, barely able to even dream of having the safety and the freedom to love the one they wanted; alone, in homes and families that would not support them, both afraid to leave. Santana and Blaine had both proven themselves too hardened to let anyone in. And yet, despite themselves, they had. Blaine turned his gaze to Kurt, who met his eyes with love overflowing. Santana turned to Brittany and placed her head on the blonde's shoulder, while Brittany stroked her hair.

_But the person that I used to be is fading_   
_Every wall I've built is crumbling to the ground_   
_Though the patterns are persistent and persuading_   
_I'm breaking free_   
_No longer bound_

Santana realized she was wrong. Blaine had done what he needed to do in order to break free of his father's hold. Blaine prayed that Santana would get there soon. The patterns of their childhood were indeed persistent; they seemed to grab hold of both of them, trying desperately to hold them back. But together, they would continue fighting, breaking free, both in their own way and their own time.

_And this is who I am_   
_I will never be a god or a Superhero_   
_I'm simply who I am_   
_I may never be a king or a saint or an icon_   
_But seeing who I was_   
_Is knowing who I am_

Blaine had realized that facing his past, facing his father, was his way out. Bad or good didn't matter. Facing the boy he was, was what he needed to become the man he would be. Kurt understood now as well. He had seen Blaine twice with his father. The first time Blaine had walked away broken. Today he had started to heal.

_I am my debts_   
_I am my walls_   
_I am regret_   
_I am my words_   
_I am my doubts_   
_I am my song_

Blaine had erected walls higher than the sky, but over the last year, he had slowly lowered them and allowed Kurt in. He was owning his debts, his regrets and his doubts and moving on. It wouldn't be easy. At times, like tonight, it would be hard. But now and always, he would let music be his guide.

Santana was just beginning and she thanked Brittany everyday for letting her tear down her own walls in her own time. Brittany deserved so much more than Santana could give her, but she was doing the best she could.

_So I might not be a god or a superhero_   
_And I know I am not a king or a saint or an icon_   
_But being who I was_   
_Is accepting who I am_

As the applause rose in the club, Blaine made his way back to his friends. Kurt nearly ran to him and, meeting him mid restaurant, threw his arms around him, kissing him eagerly in front of everyone. "You are amazing," Kurt whispered.

They walked hand in hand back to the table and both girls stood to praise Blaine. Brittany embraced him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "See?" she said, "Definitely a Warbler." Blaine smiled at her and gave her a kiss on the cheek as well.

Kurt and Brittany slid into the booth, leaving Santana and Blaine. Santana gazed into his eyes, which reflected back her own. "How do you do it?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

"Do what?" he responded with a sparkle in his eye.

"Make me want it? I hate you for it sometimes you know," she admitted.

He pulled her and held her for a minute. "I know," he whispered in her ear. He let her go, allowing his hands to trail down her arms and squeeze her hands. "You want it because it's in your heart. We can't escape it, we can't run away from it. The only thing we can do is decide how long we're going to wait until we accept it and what we're going to do once we do." Santana lowered eyes and nodded. "You were right you know?"

"Of course I am," she said with a smirk and a sniffle. "About what?"

"I can't let him rule my world again. I have to figure out how to let him in, or even if, without going back to hiding all the time. Because I can't do that anymore."

"Well," she said with a cocky grin, "anytime you need a good kick in the pants, I am happy to oblige."

Blaine laughed quietly and placed an arm around her. "Come on," he said, "our dates are waiting."

* * *

Blaine walked Kurt to the front door. He had been quiet the entire ride home and Kurt didn't push him. He'd said what he had to say at the club, and Blaine was always afraid of words that weren't put to music.

When they reached the door, Blaine looked at Kurt, his hazels eyes devoid of their usual sparkle. He took Kurt's hands. Blaine knew that what he had to say, Kurt wasn't going to take well and he tried desperately to soften the blow. "Kurt, I need some space." Kurt immediately lowered his eyes, willing himself not to cry. Ever since Blaine had said his world turned upside down, Kurt had been afraid of where he might or might not fit into that. But Blaine took his chin and gently forced his head back up. "You need to understand this isn't about you. I love you more than anything or anyone in the world. And I want to make love to you a thousand times. I just need a little time to process this. Okay?"

Kurt did not like it at all, but he understood it entirely. "Of course. Take all the time you need."

"I love you," Blaine said, holding Kurt in his arms and kissing him deeply.

"I love you too. Goodnight."

* * *

Brittany and Santana sat on the blonde's bed after the dodgeball game. Brittany's hair was still wet from their bath, and Santana sat behind her braiding it. "You were amazing during dodgeball today," she said kissing her neck in between each twist of the hair."

"Do you think we went too far?" Brittany asked with a frown. "Like Kurt said?"

"Kurt's a baby," Santana said dismissively.

"You shouldn't say that Santana. I love Kurt. And you love Blaine." She turned to face Santana, scooting herself between Santana's knees. "And we're gonna dance at their wedding someday."

Santana lowered her eyes. "You think so?" She asked quietly.

"Of course!" Brittany said. She leaned in and kissed the brunette gently until Santana swiped her tongue against Brittany's lower lip and they deepened the kiss together. Santana started to push Brittany backwards on the bed, when Britt pulled away. "Can I ask you a question," she asked tentatively.

Santana immediately became apprehensive, and stood up off the bed folding her arms defensively. "Sure."

Brittany sat back against the headboard of the bed. Santana's stance didn't bother her at all. She was always able to push through the girl's hard exterior. "What do you want it to be like? When you come out, I mean. What do you dream of?"

Santana's brow creased and she leaned back against the desk across the room from her best friend. She sighed loudly. It wasn't that she hadn't dreamed of it. It's just that she hadn't shared it before. Ever since she and Blaine had started talking, especially since he sang to her in the choir room, she had really started to believe that there was a way out for her someday. Not now, not as long as she had to live with her parents. But definitely someday.

She looked at Brittany, innocent as always, smiling at her expectantly. She relaxed and started to make her way back to the bed. "I dream that you and I will make it out of here and get cheerleading scholarships to college. We'll be on our own, in a town that's accepting of us." She climbed back on the bed and crawled toward Brittany with a smile. "And we can spend every minute…" She kissed below Brittany's right ear. "Of every day…" She kissed below Brittany's left ear. "Loving each other." She kissed Brittany on her lips and she felt the girl's arms wrap around her and pull her down. Santana looked at her seriously. "I promise, if you can wait for me, I will give you all the things I can't right now. How does that sound?"

Brittany smiled and pressed her body into Santana's. "I think that sounds delicious," she answered, losing herself in Santana's love.

* * *

"Dad, I'm going to stay over at Blaine's house tonight," Kurt said into the phone.

"Like hell you are. It's Friday Night." Burt responded.

"And Blaine's best friend is about to be outed on national television because of my brother. I've already had to talk him down from going to dinner tonight just to punch Finn, and the fact is, only part of me wanted to stop him. I really don't think family dinner would end very well if we were there, and I'm not leaving him alone. We're already here and his mom is fine with it," Kurt heard nothing but silence on the other end of the phone. "Please, Dad? Blaine needs me."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Burt muttered. "Look Kurt, we need to discuss this as a family."

"No Dad," Kurt said firmly. "Carole needs to talk to Finn about his crappy attitude this year. He's been horrible to Blaine since he transferred to McKinley and now this. I think it's great if you want to be a part of that discussion, but I most certainly do not, nor do I really want to be in the same house with him tonight. Please, Dad, it's just one night."

Against all of his better judgment, Burt acquiesced. He knew that Blaine did not at all take kindly to people revealing secrets that are not their own, especially when it had to do with being outed. He could only imagine that Kurt had his hands full tonight. "Fine, Kurt, but you had best be home tomorrow by lunch. And I had better not hear anything from Mrs. Anderson about you two being disrespectful in her home, understood?"

"Understood, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too, son. We'll talk tomorrow."

Kurt put his phone away and went back to Blaine's room. He found his boyfriend where he'd left him, sitting on his stool strumming his guitar mindlessly. Kurt couldn't help but smile at him. He was aware that Blaine considered him his angel, but music was the boy's true savior.

"That mash-up was incredible," Blaine mused, more to himself than to Kurt. "The Troubletones are going to kick our ass.

"Mercedes was amazing," Kurt agreed. He missed her. Things weren't the same with them all broken up. Or with Blaine all broken up. Or with Finn acting like an ass. Kurt sighed. He desperately needed this all to just be fixed.

"Did you know I asked Sue last year to make sure Prom didn't hit the media?" Blaine was quiet. Kurt shook his head suprised. He never knew that. It hadn't even occurred to him. "Can you imagine if my father had found out that way?"

Kurt looked at him from across the room. He hated that distant look in Blaine's eyes. It scared him and it was heartbreaking. He hated all the reasons why it was there, and most of all he hated that it sometimes kept them apart. "Santana's going to be okay Blaine. She's just scared, but she's going to be fine," Kurt assured him.

Blaine looked up at him. "You don't know that Kurt. Not everyone is your father."

"And not everyone is yours," Kurt said gently.

Blaine looked at Kurt and put down his guitar. He got up and settled himself onto his bed. "You're right. Her family loves her." He smiled shyly and held a hand out. "And I love you."

Kurt smiled as he closed the distance and took hold of Blaine's hand. The tightness in Kurt's chest that he hadn't even realized was there disappeared. Blaine pulled him onto his lap, so Kurt straddled and faced him. "I'm sorry for this week," Blaine shared wrapping his arms around Kurt. "I hate being in the same room with you but feeling so far away. Your speech at the debate was amazing," he added, as he began kissing Kurt's sweet spot at the base of his neck.

Kurt shuddered, he had missed Blaine's touch. "It's ok. I understand," he whispered breathlessly.

"Let me make it up to you," Blaine said with a sparkle in his eye.

Kurt smirked. "Well I don't know," he said flippantly. "It depends what you have in mind."

Blaine whispered in his ear and watched delightedly as a blush made its way up Kurt's body from his neck to his perfect cheekbones. Kurt found himself pulled into the darkened expanse of Blaine's eyes. "I think that could definitely be arranged," he answered, as he felt Blaine slowly begin to peel away his many layers.

* * *

Blaine and Kurt lay cuddled together in bliss, Kurt's head on Blaine's chest, feeling each other's breath rise and fall. They listened to the other's heartbeat, as they both began to drift off to sleep. Blaine's dreams began to take hold when an awful vibrating and the melodic tones of Katy Perry rudely awoke him. He tried to gently move out of Kurt's grasp not to wake him, but Kurt grabbed him back. "Don't go," he whined.

"Kurt, my phone is ringing," he mumbled, still half asleep, "I need to get it."

Kurt reluctantly moved off of him, sighing as Blaine reached over. Without even opening his eyes to see who it was, he pressed the answer key. "Hello?" he asked into the phone.

He heard shuffling and tears on the other end, and then Santana's voice. "Blaine, I need you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Someone Like You" is from Jekyll and Hyde, Frank Wildhorn and Leslie Bricusse. I just love this song for Blaine and I should have used it earlier, but didn't so I had to put it in there before it became too late.


	10. I Kissed A Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perfect Episode was Perfect. Klaine and Santana were Perfect. And though I don't write it, I need to give a shout out to the other perfect storyline, Quinn and Puck. Though sad to watch, their story is so honest and real that it breaks my heart.
> 
> This chapter isn't perfect, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

"Kurt, my phone is ringing," Blaine mumbled, still half asleep, "I need to get it."

Kurt reluctantly moved off of him, sighing as Blaine reached over. Without even opening his eyes to see who it was, he pressed the answer key. "Hello?" he asked into the phone.

He heard shuffling and tears on the other end, and then Santana's voice. "Blaine, I need you."

Blaine immediately shot up and gripped the phone to his ear. "Santana, what's wrong, are you ok?" he asked alarmed.

Blaine's tone woke Kurt completely, and he sat up as well, placing his hand on Blaine's thigh.

"No. I've been talking to Britt, but she said to call you." She paused. "I can't let my family find out on television, you know? It might give my Abuela a heart attack or a stroke."

"What are you going to do?" Blaine questioned.

"That's why I called. How did you…how did you tell your parents?"

Blaine closed his eyes and thought back. The Sadie Hawkins dance at school was coming up. He was sick of pretending, sick of dancing with girls, and masking his feelings with kisses on the cheek. Even if he went by himself, he knew that's how the night would end up; as it had since his first 5th grade dance. He hadn't planned it, he knew his father's reaction wouldn't be good. But it hadn't mattered.  At the time it was what he had needed to do.

"When the time was right, when the need was there, I chose to be honest," Blaine explained hesitantly.

"But what did you say?" Santana asked.

Blaine's eyes met Kurt's, and he felt warmth, love and security pouring out. He was sure Kurt could hear Santana on the other end of the phone. He remembered back to the night Kurt had asked him the very same question. The answer hadn't been easy at all that time.  He made it easier this time.  "I basically just told them I wanted to date boys instead of girls."

"And what did they say," her voice shaky with a nervous edge.

Kurt's eyes stayed on Blaine and sadness crept into them. Blaine thought back to those few weeks. The things that were said and done the day he came out and the days after the dance he had shared with no one but Kurt, and only Kurt ever needed to know.

"Santana, your family is not my family. It doesn't matter how mine reacted, your story is your own," he said echoing Kurt's earlier words. He had a very hard time believing that Santana's parents would accept her, no matter what Kurt said, but he was trying. Kurt smiled at him and silently kissed Blaine's head, wrapping his arms around Blaine's waist and placing his head on the boy's shoulder.

Santana was silent on the other end, and Blaine continued. "No matter what happens, I'm always here for your Santana."

"I know," she whispered.

"See you Monday?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah, sure Boyfriend, whatever," she said dismissively.

"Night," Blaine chuckled, quite used to Santana's defense mechanisms by now, and hung up the phone.

Kurt cuddled into Blaine, kissing his bare chest. "Everything ok?" he asked.

"I hope so," Blaine answered.

Kurt locked his blue eyes with Blaine's hazel. "I am so very proud of you. So proud of the boy you were, and the man you are."

"I will never grow tired of hearing you say that," Blaine replied, his eyes tearing. "I love you," he said, aiming his lips for Kurt's.

"And I will never grow tired of hearing  _you_ say  _that,_ " Kurt answered, allowing him a quick kiss before pulling away. "But, it's a good thing Santana called and woke us. Now I can get dressed and move to the couch before your mother finds us like this in the morning and reports back to my father."

"It's your own fault for telling him in the first place." Blaine frowned as Kurt found his clothes on the floor and put them on. "You are no fun, Kurt Hummel," Blaine said with a pout.

Kurt turned to Blaine with a smirk. "Now you know that's not true." He winked, leaning across the bed for a quick goodnight kiss, before leaving the room.

Blaine grabbed Kurt's pillow and snuggled up to it, easily falling asleep as he breathed in the perfect scent of the one person he knew was proud of him.

* * *

Finn jumped up from the kitchen table when he heard the keys rattle in the front door at exactly noon. He had been waiting all morning for Kurt to return. Actually, he had been waiting all night since Carole and Burt finally finished lecturing him and sent him to bed. Burt and his Mom had helped him understand his own thoughts, as well as Santana's. The truth was, he had a lot of feelings for Santana that he didn't even know he had, and was afraid for her. He wanted her to be as secure and proud of herself as Kurt was. Finn felt horrible for letting his anger get the best of him with Santana and he had a great idea to make it up to her, but he wanted Kurt's opinion.

Kurt arrived back home at the stroke of noon. He had spent the morning wrapped in Blaine's arms, watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating a fruit cup while Blaine downed four pancakes. He hadn't wanted to return home, but Mrs. Anderson knew he was expected for lunch and made sure he headed out the door with enough time. Kurt walked into the house and was immediately accosted by Finn.

"Kurt, dude, I really need to talk to you," Finn begged.

"Finn, even if I had gotten in the door yet, which I haven't, I still really wouldn't be in the mood to talk to you right now," Kurt said, with an exasperated eye roll. He ignored Finn as he brought his bag, stuffed full with yesterday's clothes, to his room.

Finn followed him, determined to speak with Kurt so he could prevent things from being awkward between them. "Kurt please let me say something."

Kurt gently put his bag on his dressing table chair and turned to Finn with his hands on his hips. "Speak," he ordered.

Finn opened his mouth, then closed it. Now that he was on the spot, he couldn't think of the words.

Kurt stared at him. He had suffered Finn's rudeness towards Blaine because Blaine hadn't wanted him to rock the boat too much, but outing Santana was the last straw. He had no patience left, brother or not.

"Finn, either say something or get out of my room," he demanded.

"Look, Kurt, I'm sorry," Finn finally said. "I'm sorry for what I did to Santana. I know that saying what I did in the middle of the hallway isn't something that you approve of. I know that you don't believe in outing people. Your dad explained it to me." Kurt mentally thanked his father for being the man he was. "I never meant to hurt Santana or anyone, but you least of all. You're my brother, Kurt."

Kurt studied Finn. He wanted to stay angry with him, but he knew that Finn really didn't understand what he did half the time. It was utterly frustrating. Still, Finn was his brother and because of that he had to offer him a little leeway. "Make it right with her, and you're good with me," Kurt said.

"About that," Finn said smiling but shuffling his feet nervously. "I had an idea."

"Please don't tell me it's to dress up in Lady Gaga outfits again and prance through school protecting her like the bully whips," Kurt said never underestimating Finn's logic.

Finn looked at him confused, then shook his head. "No. I think that we should get New Directions and the Troubletones together to sing all girl songs this week. You know, to support Santana."

Kurt stared at him. "Finn, that's a terrible idea. Santana will hate it."

"She might at first," Finn acknowledged, "but she'll come around."

"And how do you know that?" Kurt challenged him.

"Because," he said quietly. "I know her. And I know that unlike you, she believes she has no one there for her. You always had Burt, and even though it scared you, deep down you knew he'd always be there for you and nothing could stop you. Santana doesn't know that. She thinks this is the end of everything. She thinks that when she tells people she's in love with Brittany, that no one will stand by her."

"That's ridiculous, Finn, of course we will. Blaine's been telling her that all year."

"Yeah, well, maybe she needs to hear it from someone other than Blaine," he said rolling his eyes. "Maybe she needs to hear it from you and me and the girls and everyone."

Kurt looked at Finn, and he realized, that though he stood by Blaine's side, he had never stood up for Santana. The two were always so constantly at war with one another. Only Blaine had always remembered that they needed to stand together. And he had an idea.

"You're right," Kurt said.

"I am?" Finn asked surprised.

"Yes. Now if you don't mind, I need to call Blaine."

"Oh sure, of course. Thanks Kurt!" Finn said, leaving the room.

Kurt pulled out his phone, and immediately dialed Blaine. "Hey, I want to sing something for Santana on Monday. That is, if you don't mind sharing one of our songs with her."

* * *

Blaine and Kurt had practiced all day Sunday in front of Finn to perform for Santana. Unlike when he'd done Katy Perry's "Pearl," Blaine would have Kurt by his side this time, and he adored his boyfriend for suggesting the song. Blaine had warned Kurt that Santana might not accept it, and he understood, but they were both willing to go forward, knowing that no matter what she said, the words would get through to her.

"Santana, Kurt and I have a song we like to sing to each other in the car, and we want to sing that for you right now," Blaine explained in the middle of the choir room.

"While there's nothing I'd love more than having two pretty ponies serenade me, I think we'd get further staging a  _gellervention_  for Blaine than singing lady music," she quipped.

"I know it's hard," Kurt said, trying, for Blaine's sake, to remember what he said about Santana's sarcasm and just ignore it. "It was hard for me too. But you can get through this."

"If you would just stop being so defensive." Blaine eyed Santana in familiar warning.

"I'm trying," she interrupted. Her friendship with Blaine was one thing outside the halls of McKinley, but she couldn't allow him to bring it in. "But you're hideous bowties are provoking me."

The two shook off Santana's insults, and Blaine leaned on the piano, watching Kurt. The first verse spoke so truly to Kurt's heart, and he remembered all of Kurt's stories of his years at McKinley before he'd transferred to Dalton; the mistakes he made before coming out, the bullying once he did, despite it all, Kurt had always believed in himself and had survived it all growing stronger because of it.

 _Made a wrong turn, Once or twice_  
_Dug my way out, Blood and fire_  
_Bad decisions, That's alright_  
_Welcome to my silly life_

 _Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood_  
_Miss "no way, it's all good",_  
_it didn't slow me down_  
_Mistaken, always second guessin'_  
_Under estimated, look, I'm still around_

Though she knew very well the things that Kurt sung about, Santana recognized herself in the song as well, and it made her extremely uncomfortable. Santana kept her feelings and her experiences deep inside, and she didn't like Blaine calling them out onto the table. "Pearl" had been one thing, him singing just to her, but adding Kurt to the mix, she felt, was flaunting everything she wanted and couldn't have. Blaine watched her, singing "Perfect" to Kurt and her, and she couldn't help but hate in that moment the feelings that he caused in her.

 _You're so mean_  
_When you talk_  
 _About yourself, you are wrong._  
 _Change the voices In your head_  
 _Make them like you instead._

The second verse belonged to Blaine, and the words were so personal, it felt like sharing a secret with everyone that so far he had only shared with Kurt. Kurt first sang this song to him one day when the Colonel's words had been running circles in Blaine's head. Blaine always remembered, and he hoped that he could pass along to Santana the wisdom of the words Kurt had given him.

_So complicated,_   
_Look happy, you'll make it_   
_Filled with so much hatred_   
_Such a tired game._

Though they came from someone else, those words meant everything to Blaine as if he had born them out of his own soul. He had tried so long to cover the years of hatred, at home and at school with a happy face, and it was exhausting. He truly felt it must be the same for Santana. And it was. Years of hiding who she was, afraid of the hate at McKinley and in Lima, she hid behind walls of sarcasm and sass, but she really was so very tired of the game.

_It's enough,_   
_I've done all I can think of_   
_Chased down all my demons,_   
_Seen you do the same._

Blaine had done all he could for himself. He came out at home and school, facing his father and the bullies at school. He'd chosen Dalton, then he'd chosen Kurt, choosing his own freedom, while letting his childhood dreams of peace at home go forever. And now he was facing his demons, tiptoeing back into a relationship with his father, carefully protecting his heart while he allowed himself a little faith. He looked at Santana, hoping that his journey toward honesty would encourage her to face her own demons.

_The whole world stares so I swallow the fear,_   
_The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer._   
_So cool in line and we try, try, try,_   
_But we try too hard, & it's a waste of my time._   
_Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere_   
_They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair_   
_Change ourselves and we do it all the time_

While Brittany could see others greatly enjoying the song, she could also recognize it was too much for Santana. It was too much, too soon, before she told her parents and she wasn't ready. Up until now, Santana shrunk away from the stares and the critics, unable to swallow her fear. She had changed herself for everyone. Now she needed to change herself  _for_ herself and Brittany knew it was terrifying to Santana. And Santana answered fear with biting sarcasm.

"Thank you guys. Thank you Finn, especially. You know with all of the horrible crap I've been through in my life," Santana shrugged, "now I get to add that."

* * *

It had taken some time for Blaine to settle Kurt the other day after Santana's insults, but Kurt eventually let it go. He had also decided that Finn had indeed earned Kurt's forgiveness for outing Santana, after his moving version of _Girls Just Want to Have Fun_. Kurt had meant it when he said they were good after he made it right with Santana, and Finn had done just that. So he was in a good mood when the girls burst into a wonderful rendition of _I Kissed a Girl_ , and he and Blaine pulled their phones out to post the song on YouTube for the Warblers to see. Kurt had been thrilled to learn that Santana's conversation with her parents went well. He grabbed Blaine's hand and squeezed it, and Blaine smiled at him, though he noticed that the smile didn't quite reach his hazel eyes. Kurt had been feeling pretty good when Principal Figgens called him out of class. He looked at Blaine concerned, not sure if the Principal had good news or bad news. Kurt was never one to get in trouble and he felt very conspicuous leaving the classroom just minutes before the bell rang.

Blaine was worried about Kurt, but he wasn't going to just walk in on a meeting with Figgens and he had something else he needed to deal with as well. "Santana," Blaine called after her as she left the choir room alone. Brittany had stayed behind to discuss something with Mike and Tina. "Wait up!"

Santana stopped and looked back at Blaine with annoyance.

"Why didn't you tell me you told your parents?" he asked gently with a tilt of his head, hands resting on his hips.

"Didn't realize I had to report back to you, Anderson," Santana snapped, crossing her arms across her chest.

Blaine could handle her bitchiness when it stemmed from her insecurities, but after her biting comments to them when Kurt had gone out of his way to sing their song to her, he'd had enough for one week . "You know what? You don't," he said, throwing his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry to bother you." He turned to walk away.

"I didn't know how you'd react," Santana called, tone softening.

Blaine turned back, slowly, considering. He had never believed her family would be accepting, and just like he sometimes felt with Kurt and his Dad, he was jealous of Santana. But he never wished her ill and he was relieved. "I didn't either to be honest. But I'm glad. I wouldn't want you to have to go through what I did."

Santana dropped her arms to her side. "I still have to tell my Abuela. But she's always been so proud of being who she is. I know she'll stand by me."

Blaine smiled warmly, wanting to reach for her hand, but thinking better of it in public. "I'm happy for you Santana." And he meant it with all his heart. "Really, really happy for you."

"Thank you," Santana smiled genuinely, then lowered her eyes. "And thank you for earlier too. The song, I mean," she added bashfully.

"You're welcome," he said, surprised by her sudden graciousness. "But thank Kurt. It was his idea."

She nodded and walked off to class. Blaine shook his head, and headed off to the library.

* * *

Brittany sashayed into the seat across from Blaine in the library as he sat studying during his free period. He looked up to see her bright eyes and smiling face.

"So I want to throw a victory party and I want you and Kurt to come," Brittany beamed.

Blaine looked at her askance. "You're throwing yourself a victory party before the votes even come in?" He asked. "I'm not sure if Kurt would really be up for going to that," he said doubtfully.

Brittany looked at him confused. "No, not for me. For Santana. Like Kurt did for you this summer when you, ya know, stood up to your Dad."

Blaine's eyes darkened, but he smiled at the innocent girl. "Do you really think Santana would want that?"

Brittany frowned. "You don't?" she asked a little hurt.

Blaine started to answer but was interrupted by Kurt rushing in, tears streaming down his face. Blaine immediately raced to his boyfriend and hugged him. "Baby, what's wrong?" he said trying to calm Kurt's hysterics.

"They think I cheated, Blaine," he tried to explain through his tears. "They think I stuffed the ballot boxes. But I didn't," he said, grabbing Blaine's arms and pleading with him. "You know I wouldn't!"

"Of course!" he tried to reassure his boyfriend. "Of course I know you wouldn't. Come on, come sit down," he urged, ushering Kurt to the seat next to his. He turned it so the two were facing each other, Brittany completely forgotten in the commotion.

"I'll just talk to you guys later," Brittany said, pushing her chair back, concerned. Kurt didn't acknowledge her while Blaine waved her off, and she went off in search of someone who could explain what was going on.

Blaine placed his hands on the arms of Kurt's chair, leaning into him. "Tell me what happened." Blaine said.

"They called my father in. Apparently the ballot boxes were stuffed which made it seem like I won by 190 votes." He sniffled, wiping his nose on his hand. Blaine reached into his pocket and passed over some tissues that he always carried. "But Brittany really won, not me."

"Kurt, I am so sorry, that's awful." Blaine knew that there were no words that would comfort him right now, but he hated when Kurt was sad and he wanted to make it all better.

"I just keep thinking it's another horrible joke like prom. What if someone was trying to get me suspended, or worse expelled?" he asked, becoming frantic again.

Blaine settled him. "No, Kurt, you can't think like that. It's probably just a horrible misunderstanding."

Kurt looked up at him. "My father says I can't go with you after school today for our study date. I have to go with him to the shop," he apologized looking miserable.

"Why?" Blaine didn't understand why he would be in trouble if he didn't truly do anything wrong.

Kurt looked sheepishly at Blaine. "I may have sort of said in front of my father that I had thought about cheating. Whether I did it or not, he is, without mincing words, livid that I even thought about it. I don't think I'm grounded, but he told me to come to the shop after school so that we could," he made air quotes, "have a little talk about honesty and fair play."

Blaine chuckled and shook his head. "Oh Kurt, you really need to stop telling your Dad everything."

Kurt laughed through his tears and fell into Blaine's arms again. "Yeah, I think you just might be right."

* * *

Running from her grandmother's house, Santana held herself together as best she could until she got to her car, then she let it all go. She cried and screamed until her makeup ran everywhere and her voice was hoarse. She had been worried about telling her parents, but her Abuela she loved and trusted and she never expected to be shunned by her. Santana was beyond devastated.

When she finally settled herself, she pulled out her phone and dialed. "Britt? It's me."

Brittany could hear in her voice that something was wrong. "Santana, what's the matter?"

"I need to see you. Can you meet me at my house?"

Brittany breathed a little sigh of relief. For a moment she had thought Santana's parents had changed their mind and kicked her out. "Of course, where are you? Should I come get you?"

"No," Santana said, sniffling as she started the car. "I'm at my Abuela's house but I'm going home now. Please, I just need to see you."

Both girls raced to Santana's house and as if the universe was always on their side, they arrived in the driveway at the same time. They both got out of their cars, and Brittany immediately grabbed Santana's hand, as she saw the Latina's face reddened and streaked with mascara.

The girls silently went inside, and ran into Santana's mother before starting to head up to her bedroom. "Hi Mrs. Lopez," Brittany called.

Santana's mother turned to them. "Santana! What happened, sweetheart?"

Tears welled up again in Santana's eyes and she pursed her lips, shaking her head. "Can we talk later, Mama. Can I just go upstairs with Brittany now?"

She looked at her daughter and nodded, her body immediately filled with sadness and regret at her daughter's pain. Mrs. Lopez had told Santana that telling her Abuela was not going to end well, but the girl was stubborn and refused to listen. She had prayed and hoped for her daughter, who had believed in her grandmother's unconditional love. Now her heart just broke for her little girl.

Brittany curled up on Santana's bed and held her arms out for her girlfriend. Santana hesitated only slightly before climbing into Brittany's warm embrace. The blonde hugged her and rocked her, kissing her head. "Shhh," she said quietly, "it's all going to be ok."

Santana's tears started rolling down her cheeks again. "I thought she would accept me, you know Britt? I mean, I was terrified to tell my parents but they were so amazing. With my Abuela, I wasn't scared at all."

"What happened?" Brittany asked cautiously.

"She kicked me out," Santana explained, taking a deep breath and wiping her tears away. "I begged her but…she told me it would have been better to keep it all a secret. She kicked me out and told me she never wanted to see me again. She told me I had made my choice and she made hers." She suddently recalled that Blaine's father had something very similar. She shook the thought away, not wanting to compare her beloved Abuela to Blaine's father.

Brittany squeezed her tight and kissed Santana's neck. "I'm so sorry. It's her loss then."

Santana turned to her. "Is it?"

"Of course!" Brittany pulled away slightly to look Santana in the eyes. She helped dry her tears, and fix her hair. "You are the most amazing girl in the world, and if she can't see that, then maybe she's gone blind or something. But you can't let her tear you down. You are the bravest girl I know."

Santana sat up straighter and sniffled. "So then what do I do now? How do I live with someone I love and trusted hating who I am?"

Brittany scrunched up her face not sure of the right thing to say. "Maybe you should call Blaine about this," she offered.

"No," Santana said firmly. "Blaine doesn't come to me to talk about things. He goes straight to Kurt. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this right."

Brittany tipped her head to the side and linked pinkies with Santana, smiling. "I was going to throw you a party. You know, like the one Blaine had?"

Santana looked at her sweet, innocent Brittany. "I love you," she said, leaning in to kiss her soft and cherry flavored lips. For the first time kissing Brittany, she felt no doubt, no regret, and all her walls came crashing to the ground. She smiled and pressed forward, deeply and passionately, and Brittany responded in kind. When they pulled away, Brittany giggled and Santana gazed into her eyes.

"Do you think it would be ok if we just kept the party between the two of us?" Santana asked, almost shyly.

Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana, pulling her down onto the bed, reveling in the love and warmth of her girlfriend. "I think that would be perfect," she answered.

* * *

Kurt finished the application to NYADA and sealed the envelope, still feeling defeated. "When are things going to start going my way, Blaine," he mumbled, placing his head in his hands.

Blaine stood behind Kurt as he sat, rubbing his back soothingly, and moved his hands up to massage his shoulders. "Nick would say that everything happens for a reason."

Kurt rolled his eyes, "I hate to burst your bubble Blaine, but Nick can be naïve at times."

"Yes, he can," Blaine acknowledged with a slight laugh, "But this is not one of those times. Look at me," he said grabbing Kurt's hand and pulling him around to face him. "The way I see it there are two possibilities here."

"What?" Kurt said looking at him with a frown.

Blaine smiled. "First possibility, you get accepted to NYADA, you go to New York with your best friend, I meet you next year and all your dreams come true."

"Yes, Blaine, that was the plan that is not even close to happening now. What's the other option?"

Blaine kneeled down to Kurt, making sure he heard every word. "You don't get accepted, and you stay in Ohio another year, building your resume. You and I turn 18 together, while your Dad moves to Washington, and we get to spend every day in each other's company."

"Technically, I turn 18 five months before you," Kurt interrupted, chin in the air.

"Hush," Blaine ordered placing his finger on Kurt's lips, barely pausing before continuing. "Then, we both fill out college applications next fall, you and I go off to New York together next summer, and all your dreams still come true." He looked at Kurt with sparkling eyes. "So, the way I see it, either way it works out, things go your way. It's a win-win," he smiled softly.

Kurt lowered his eyes, and grasped Blaine's hands. He pulled them to his lips and kissed them lovingly. His gaze shifted up to Blaine's eyes, and in them he saw hope. Kurt thought for a moment he might get lost in those eyes forever, but he knew that he couldn't. Like Santana, he had dreams of getting out of Ohio. And like every kid in Lima, he feared being stuck forever.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Kurt asked, bringing his hand to Blaine's cheek.

"Of course," Blaine said, concern clouding his face. "What's wrong?"

"If by some miracle I get into NYADA, Blaine, I'm going. I will miss you like crazy, but I can't let myself stay for you. It happens to kids here every year and it just gets people stuck in Lima forever," he said, trying to explain.

But Blaine did not need an explanation. He grasped Kurt's face with both hands and his gaze bore deep into Kurt's. "I would  _never_ ," he emphasized, "ask you to stay here for me. New York is  _our_  dream, and whether we go together, or you blaze a path for me to follow, we will make it. What's one year in a lifetime of Perfect?"

Kurt couldn't stop the tears from streaming down his face, as he fell into Blaine's arms. He didn't care who was around, he didn't care who saw, and he didn't care if a slushie was about to cool them off. Kurt had never dreamed that a love so deep was possible, at such a tender age, but he knew that no matter what happened in the future, their love right now was absolutely perfect.

Holding Kurt close to him, his head over his boyfriend's shoulder, he saw Santana and Brittany walk by the entrance to the library hand in hand. The girls looked in, noticing him and Kurt, and Brittany smiled and wiggled her fingers hello. Santana stopped, and she and Blaine exchanged a glance. When he had heard about her Abuela's reaction, his stomach had tightened. Despite Santana's constant need to push him away, Blaine understood her better than anyone. They were survivors, facing both their demons and their triumphs together. Santana hated having so much in common with him, but in many ways, they followed similar paths. Though she wouldn't admit it to anyone, she was so grateful to Blaine for his friendship. She smiled softly at him, and he nodded at her. He was so very proud of her. And though her journey had only just begun, he would be with her every step of the way. The New Directions came and went, loyalties changing by the week, but Warblers were forever. Santana's struggle would continue, but he would never ever let her be alone.


	11. Hold On to Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold on to Sixteen was amazing. Yes, RIB did it again! I had plans to give you guys less angsty Blaine, but he virtually made it impossible with OMG ANGRY BLAINE! And I know there is angsty Blaine in my Holiday chapter too. So hope you guys like him that way!
> 
> One little detail is not canon in this chapter. I have New Directions knowing their setlist prior to the start of the episode. Shocker, I know! Oh well.
> 
> MAJOR kudos to my beta reader, typegirl19, for whom you owe the last two scenes of this chapter. Without her they would not be here, and well, she was 100% right. She's amazing.
> 
> Also a little thanks to Curt and Riker banter this week. I added one line in especially for them!
> 
> I do not own Glee or write for Glee. But if I did…

**Blaine! We won sectionals! ~ Nick**

**Bro! That's awesome! ~ Blaine**

Kurt looked up to see Blaine staring at his phone with a huge smile on his face. "Now, I had hoped that a smile like that would be reserved for  _my_  texts alone," he said looking at Blaine askance. "What has you so excited?"

"The Warblers won their sectionals! Which is fantastic. But it also means that we  _ **so**_  need to beat the TroubleTones. I am  _ **not**_  sitting this one out!"

"Then we better get back to practicing," Kurt smirked at him. The boys were in Kurt's room, iPod docked and set to their sectionals music, but that music had been paused for a while now.

"Hey now," Blaine said, climbing over Kurt and pushing him back down onto the bed. "I thought we were practicing." Blaine grinned and pressed himself into Kurt, crashing his lips against his boyfriend's, where they had spent the better part of the last half hour before Nick's text interrupted them. Kurt's shirt was half unbuttoned and Blaine went to finish the job when they heard a knock at the door.

"Hey," Burt called into the door. "I do not hear the dulcet tones of the Jackson family in there."

Kurt scrambled up from beneath Blaine and quickly straightened his hair and clothes, fixing the buttons on his shirt in case his father decided to come in. "Blaine was on the phone Dad," he called, thinking to himself that technically it wasn't a lie. "Getting back to it now."

"Mmmhmmm…" he heard his father murmur. "I won't hesitate to open that door if I think I need to," Kurt heard him call before hearing the footsteps disappear down the hall.

"Wipe that smirk off your face," Kurt ordered as he turned to face Blaine with his hands on his hips. Blaine shrugged with the innocence of the guilty. "Let's rehearse. I have no intention of letting that pom-pom throwing, bootie shaking, ungrateful , daughter of Satan win sectionals."

Blaine frowned. "Still haven't forgiven her, have you?"

"I told you, forgiveness isn't my strong point." He stepped forward and tapped his index finger on Blaine's chest. " _You_  would be best to remember that. Now come on, we need to get these moves right if we want any chance to beat the TroubleTones without Rachel."

"My moves are already pretty good," Blaine said seductively as he slinked up to Kurt to pull him towards him once again.

"Dance moves Blaine, dance moves!" Kurt stomped away to the iPod, exasperated. "If you want to win like you say you do, then you better teach me that footwork or I'm going to douse you with a bucket of ice water and drive over to Mike's place for a proper teacher."

"Alright, alright," Blaine gave in. "Hit play, let's go again."

* * *

Dealing with Finn's attitude was one thing, but Sebastian interrupting him and Kurt at the Lima Bean with his Parisian air of superiority was too much.  He got up from the table  feigning the need for another coffee. Truth was, he just didn't want to discuss New Directions with Sebastian. He  _could_ maybe whip New Directions into a legitimate threat like Sebastian said,  _if_ anybody would listen to him. He knew how to lead a Glee Club and he knew how to win. But no one would listen to him as long as Finn wouldn't, and he had no idea what Finn's problem with him was since coming to McKinley. He hadn't wanted to rock the boat. He hadn't wanted to pit Kurt against his stepbrother. He hadn't wanted to do anything to break up New Directions more than Mercedes and Santana already had. They were too fragile. Hell, he was too fragile. He didn't want a fight. So he just let it go.

Blaine returned to the table hoping that Kurt had said something to get rid of Sebastian, but no such luck. When he finally left, Blaine just rolled his eyes at the Warbler, as if to show Kurt that he just couldn't contain his amazement at the guy's forwardness.

Kurt stared back at Blaine, eyes blazing.

"What?" Blaine asked as innocently as possible.

"Would you care to explain why he was seeing you online  _before?"_

Blaine couldn't miss Kurt's eyebrow raised accusation if he tried. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, fumbling for an answer. He'd kind of hoped Kurt had missed that comment from Sebastian.  "We…um…we Skyped a few times just after we met, Kurt, it was no big deal."

"And you stopped when?" Kurt continued to glare.

Blaine tried to meet his eyes, but he found himself staring down at the table instead. "The night I walked home from the bar. He tried to Skype me, but I just ignored him. In the morning I blocked him."

"How passive aggressive of you," Kurt mumbled under his breath, but his sarcasm wasn't lost on Blaine and he grew defensive.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Blaine asked, his eyes growing dark with hurt and anger.

"Come on, Blaine, when are you going to stand up for yourself? You walk away from Sebastian and let him think he has a chance in hell with you, this thing with Finn is eating you up inside and yet you just smile and nod your way through it, and you let Santana use you when it works for her, but God forbid she acknowledge your friendship in public anytime you try to reach out to her."

"Kurt, you know how I get when I lose control. I can't think straight. I hate myself like that. The day I pushed you…" he trailed off, shaking his head, hating even the thought of being violent like his father. "I choose not to fight Kurt."

Kurt's frustration grew into anger and sarcasm. "I know, Blaine, you sang it at the jazz club. You said it was safer to comply than to be at war. Those words stuck in my head. Well Blaine, it may be safer to be who others want you to be or run away from issues, but it's not better, for you or for anyone else. After everything with your father you should know that." Kurt looked across the table into Blaine's always so expressive eyes and he saw only distance. He wondered if he'd gone too far.

Blaine's every instinct was telling him to get up from the table and leave, walk away from Kurt, from the conversation, from the confrontation. But as he moved to leave, he realized that Kurt was right. He was once again running away, and he had promised himself long ago he would never run from Kurt again. So he grabbed Kurt's hand instead and squeezed.

"I'm just so afraid all the time," Blaine answered softly.

"Afraid of what?" Kurt asked, voice full of love but almost desperate.

"Losing the only things I have left," he whispered, staring at their hands as he unconsciously circled Kurt's palm with his thumb. He looked up, pain in his eyes. "What would I do without New Directions? It's not like I can go back to Dalton, to the Warblers. Sometimes I wish I could, but I can't."

"Blaine," Kurt said gently. "When you let people walk all over you, control you, then you lose yourself. And then nothing else matters. New Directions isn't as fragile as you think it is. The Warblers are a band of brothers and they stick together, but what have they ever overcome? What have they ever had to fight for? The color piping of the blazer or the ties they're going to where? New Directions has been through thick and thin and somehow we always end up back together in the end. We are a family. And right now, we need  _you_. You just need to make Finn see it."

"How?" Blaine asked.

"Well," Kurt said with his head cocked. "Talking to him rather than sitting down when he tells you to, or agreeing with him when he mocks you, or walking away when he treats you like crap might be a helpful start," he smirked. "And it would of course make Friday night dinners a little more pleasant as well," he added.

Blaine nodded and smiled. "Always with the sarcasm, aren't you?" he asked wryly.

Kurt shrugged.  "Yeah," he said, smiling broadly. "Pretty much."

"Come on, let's go," Blaine said grabbing his old coffee cup to throw out, then going back to get his new one. "Guess I really didn't need a second," he said staring at it blankly.

"No," Kurt laughed putting his arm around Blaine's waist and his hand in Blaine's back pocket. "No you didn't."

"So what did you and Sebastian talk about while I was gone?" Blaine asked as they walked out the door.

"Haha," Kurt chuckled. "That's for me to know and you never to find out."

* * *

As everyone left the choir room after rehearsal that afternoon, Blaine lingered, lost in his thoughts. He absentmindedly sat at the piano and began to play.

Kurt put his bag back down and leaned on the piano opposite him. For a moment he just stopped and took in the gorgeous curls that were falling over Blaine's forehead, but he tucked the thoughts of Blaine boxing away for another time. Blaine was clearly not in the mood for  _that._

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kurt asked cautiously.

"Talk about what?" Blaine murmured, staring at the piano keys as he played.

"Why Sam made you so upset? I know everything with Finn had you worked up, but saying what you did to Sam? Telling him that you're not for sale?" Kurt waited, but Blaine didn't look up or even acknowledge hearing him. Kurt came around to sit next to him and gently placed his hand over Blaine's, running his thumb over his knuckles. Blaine stopped playing, but he didn't look up. "I've seen that look before Blaine," Kurt said gently. "That wasn't Sam, that was your Father."

Blaine got up from the piano bench and walked across the room, rubbing the back of his neck. For a minute, Kurt thought Blaine wouldn't answer him, but then he heard him quietly respond. "When is this just going to get easier?" he asked sadly. He was exhausted. Exhausted from keeping things in, and exhausted from letting them out. And he was just so tired of being tired all the time.

Kurt slipped away from the piano and took Blaine in his arms. "You said yourself it wouldn't happen overnight. Things are going to trigger you. It's easier if you talk about it."

Blaine pulled away with a quiet chuckle. "What are you, my therapist?"

Kurt smiled. "Well, if your therapist says the same thing, than she's a keeper." Blaine bowed his head and nodded. Kurt tried to keep the mood light while still getting Blaine to open up. "So, what horrible memory did Sam trigger?"

Blaine looked at him and shame clouded his eyes. "Let's just say that my father had every expectation I would be the one in the bar, or the street, selling my body for money. That's what good-looking gay boys do when they sing and dance after all, isn't it?" Blaine looked away as Kurt took in his biting words.

When Kurt thought his heart couldn't break for Blaine anymore, every new disclosure broke it more. "That's why you lost it with Karofsky last year. When he called you…what he did," he thought out loud.

Blaine didn't respond but walked back to the piano and began fingering the keys again. Kurt had a million things he could say to try and dispute his father's comments or just try to make Blaine feel better, but he was pretty sure that none of them would work. There was only one thing that might give Blaine some solace right now.

"Sing your number for me," Kurt called.

"What?" Blaine looked up at him with uncertainty.

"Control," Kurt explained. "Sing it to me."

Blaine looked up at his boyfriend, confusion, but then understanding in his eyes. Kurt walked back over and leaned against the piano as Blaine shuffled for the sheet music. He looked it over quickly, the closed his eyes, losing himself in the music he played, and healing himself with the words he sang.

_When I was 17, I did what people told me_   
_Did what my father said, and let my mother mold me_   
_but that was long ago_

As he sang, Kurt could see the connections form in Blaine's mind. For 17 years Blaine had done what he was told by his father, been the boy his mother wanted him to be. But now it was time for him to grow up, be a man, and take control of his own life. And it also meant taking control of his emotions.

_I'm in control, and now I've got a lot_

_Control, to get what I want_   
_Control, I'm never gonna stop_   
_Control, now I'm all grown up_

_Got my own mind_   
_I wanna make my own decisions_   
_When it has to do with my life, my life_   
_I wanna be the one in control_

It was all new for Blaine. 17 years of being controlled by a man who used violence against him; it was hard to move past it. He desperately feared his own temper running away with him, was always afraid he'd turn into his father. But slowly he was learning that was his own choice. It was time to make his own decisions and to be in control of his own life. He had started with his father, and today with Finn. It was a long and tired journey, and it was taking longer than he wanted, but he would keep trying.

_So let me take you by the hand_   
_And lead you on this dance_   
_Cause what I've got is because I took a chance_   
_I don't wanna rule the world_   
_Just wanna run my life_   
_So make your life a little easier_   
_When you get the chance just take Control_

Almost a year ago he had decided that with Kurt by his side, he could confront anything. At times he forgot, but Kurt was always there to remind him when he needed it. He had Kurt because he took a chance at running his own life, and it led him down a rabbit hole that brought him to today. And the truth was, as hard as it was now, it was easier than before. Because now he was at least free.

_Free at last,_   
_Now control this_

_Cause I've got my own mind_   
_I wanna make my own decisions_   
_When it has to do with my life, my life_   
_I wanna be the one in control_

_I'm in control_

Kurt smiled at him and Blaine smiled back, tiredly. He reached a hand out for Kurt to sit next to him, and when he did, Blaine placed a chaste kiss on Kurt's cheek. "I love you," he shared, his voice soft and deep.

"Does the song mean something to you?" Kurt asked placing Blaine's hand over his heart. "In here I mean?"

Blaine nodded. "You know it does."

" _That's_ how New Directions wins." He paused, letting that sink in for Blaine. "Do you want me to come home with you?" Kurt asked.

"No, not today. I think I need a little time to myself."

"Are you ok?" Kurt frowned.

"It's just been a really hard day and I have a lot to think about. I'll call you later ok?" he said, grabbing his bag.

"Sure," Kurt said, grabbing his own bag, disappointed but understanding. "Of course."

* * *

Blaine unlocked the front door to his apartment, his school bag slung over his shoulder. His curls were completely free at this point. He felt a mess after everything he had been through that day and he just wanted to crash in his room and take a nap.

"Hey sweetheart," Mrs. Anderson greeted him casually from the living room, but the moment she saw him, she knew something was wrong. "Hey, you ok? What's the matter?" She walked over to him and placed a comforting hand on his arm.

"I'm fine Mom," he answered dismissively. "It's just been a long day, rehearsing for sectionals. I'm going to take a nap," he said, brushing her off, as he went into his room and closed the door.

Mrs. Anderson knew he was lying. She knew by the emotionally drained look in his eyes, the mess of his hair, and the tension in his body that there was more going on than just a few hours of rehearsal. But she also knew he was almost a grown man, and he clearly didn't want the comfort of his mother right now. And why should he, she thought. It had been years since he could go to her for comfort. She had never been there for him, had always abandoned him to defend himself alone against a man that repeatedly hurt him. She had been trying since they left him, and their relationship was improving, but she understood that it would take more than a few months of change to make up for years of neglect.

She was broken out of her revelry by a knock at the door. She opened it to find a handsome young man, brunette, Blaine's age, in a Dalton uniform. "Nick, right?" she asked trying to place a name with the face she vaguely recognized.

"Yes Ma'am, I used to go to school with Blaine. Well, clearly," he said, sheepishly glancing down at his uniform. "Um, is Blaine home?" he asked.

"Sure, of course, come in." She opened the door wider to let Nick inside the apartment. He glanced around and was pleasantly surprised by the warm and comfortable feel to it. Blaine had always described home with his father to be cold and lonely. He was glad that he had this to come home to now.

"Blaine's in his room, which is right over there," she said pointing to the closed door. "He seems to have had a rough day, maybe you can cheer him up," she added hopefully.

"I'll certainly try," Nick said with a smile.

Blaine lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had thought about doing homework, but couldn't wrap his brain around it. He had tried to sleep, but his mind raced. He had thought about playing the guitar, but he didn't think he could even manage that right then. He was startled when he heard a familiar knock at the door that didn't belong to his mother or to Kurt. He jumped off his bed and opened the door to see his best friend standing in front of him. Blaine immediately took him in for a hug as if they hadn't seen each other in years, and ushered him inside, closing the door behind him.

"It's good to see you too Blaine," Nick laughed barely able to breath Blaine was squeezing him so hard. He patted Blaine on the back and the boy released him. "You know, you can always call and invite me over if you miss me," Nick said, taking a seat in the chair at Blaine's desk.

"I didn't realize you had gotten your driver's license," Blaine joked.

"Yes well, I finally completed my driving hours at Dalton, and passed the exam with flying colors."

"Good, now I don't have to make my way out to Westerville every time I want to see you," Blaine said with a wink. "So, what brings you here?"

Nick's smile faded slightly though he tried to remain nonchalant. "Kurt called me early today. Said you went a little fight club at school."

Blaine's face went tight. "Were those his words?"

"No, those are my words, after he told me what happened," he explained quickly, noting Blaine's immediate change in mood. "Care to talk about it?"

"No," Blaine said definitively, distancing himself from Nick by sitting across the room on his music stool. "Is that all you came for?"

"Actually, no," Nick assured him. "Jeff wanted me to personally thank you for those videos of  _I Kissed a Girl_  last week. He hasn't stopped watching them since you and Kurt posted them on YouTube." Nick was pleased to hear a laugh escape from Blaine's lips. "He really wanted to come here himself so that he could both, and I quote,  _kiss you and get names and numbers_ , but after hearing from Kurt I didn't think it was a good idea."

"Well, you can tell him that all those girls are taken, so he needs to continue to go out and find his own girl somewhere else," Blaine smirked.

"Oh, he  _has_  his own girl," Nick declared. "He just doesn't like to stop looking. Likes to keep his options open. Especially if one of those options is Quinn."

"Mr. Playboy," Blaine joked shaking his head at the tall blonde.

"He isn't the only one. Which leads to me to the real reason I'm here." Nick shifted apprehensively in his seat and Blaine's frown returned. "Sebastian."

Blaine immediately froze. "Nick, I really can't deal with this today on top of everything else."

Nick knew it would be hard, but it was something that he couldn't put off. "Blaine, Sebastian has half of Dalton believing that you are at his beck and call and doing goodness knows what with him behind Kurt's back."

Blaine shot up, "That's not true!"

Nick put his hand up, "Now, I know it's not, and the Warblers who know you have been trying to get him to stop, but it seems that when Sebastian Smythe wants something he doesn't stop until he gets it."

"Yeah, well, he's not going to get me." Blaine was furious. How dare this guy come into his life and try and ruin the only perfect thing he had. "He can't just rip apart what Kurt and I have. Kurt saved my life Nick," he yelled, "and Sebastian can't just swoop in and try to destroy that."

"Well then why don't you tell him that?" Nick pressed him.

Blaine's hands flew to his hair and he pulled at his curls as he rubbed his head, settling himself on the bed. How many times had he and Nick been in this position, Nick staring at a lost and broken Blaine from across the room. Nick waited patiently as Blaine's thoughts raced. He had been polite to Sebastian though he saw right through him. It hadn't mattered because he was devoted to Kurt and nothing could tear them apart. He had enjoyed their talks about art, and adventure and his life in Paris. Maybe he had hoped that Sebastian could get over this crush and move onto just being friends. Blaine could use a friend like him, someone with dreams as big as Kurt's who had already lived out there in the world. But maybe Blaine liked the attention. Or maybe it was just him running from another fight. "I don't know," Blaine finally admitted quietly.

"Well figure it out Blaine," Nick insisted. "Because every time you don't, Sebastian gets bolder and it's less and less fair to Kurt. He plans to go to your Sectionals competition, did you know that?"

Blaine looked at him and shook his head. "No. Are you guys coming too?" he asked hopefully.

"Wish we could, but most of us can't. It's midterms before winter break, and we all have exams or final papers. You remember. Getting out to Lima for a few hours is just too much."

"Yeah." Blaine was sad, but understood. The workload at Dalton was twice what it was at McKinley, that's why he shared so many classes with his fellow Glee Club members, despite most of them being seniors. Midterms at Dalton were killer and no one wanted to go home to their parents over winter break with bad grades.

"So, do you want to do something fun before I have to head back?" Nick asked to change the subject and try to get Blaine to relax.

"What did you have in mind," Blaine said, eyebrows arching up in amusement.

"Well," Nick said mischievously. "My guess is Kurt hasn't been too much of a match on that X-Box over there. Could you possibly be a bit rusty?"

"Oh, you would be surprised," Blaine retorted getting the controls out. "I've had plenty of practice since I left Dalton," he said throwing a controller to Nick. "Kurt is a master!"

* * *

Blaine looked out into the audience after Man in the Mirror. He had seen Sebastian out there cheering for him. And he had seen Mike's father next to him. He knew that both men should make him happy, but neither did. He had held out his own hope, despite knowing it wasn't to come to pass. He smiled at Mike, who stood in shock. Blaine knew how much it meant to him for his father to show, to stand and applaud. Blaine had his own dreams. But his never seemed to come true.

Those thoughts were in his head when Finn turned to him on stage and Blaine offered him a hearty handshake. They had come to terms with their feelings toward one another in the locker room, had danced and sung their hearts out at rehearsals and their performance was flawless. If they could stick together, they had a really good chance at Regionals and even Nationals.

He gave Rory a hug, then Kurt grabbed him as they all ran off the stage. Excitement filled the air as they ran back into the choir room that had been transformed into a dressing room.

"Your solos on ABC were incredible!" Blaine complimented him. "And that jump! Damn, Kurt, I am so proud of you!"

"All our hard work paid off," he winked to Blaine. "I'm going to freshen up before we go back out there," he said going over to the piano where his hair product sat waiting for him.

Blaine turned to Finn, and held out a hand, which Finn quickly clasped in a firm handshake. "We gave it our all," Blaine smiled.

"Yeah we did," Finn admitted, laughing and hugging Blaine. Sam quickly moved his way into the middle of the bromance, putting an arm around each of them.

"Top dogs, yes, this is what I was missing."

Suddenly, the room went quiet, and Blaine turned to see Mike's father walk in. Mr. Chang called Mike and Tina out of the room, and Blaine felt his skin turn warm with jealousy. He politely excused himself and went to go sit against the wall next to his bag to take some deep breaths. Kurt had turned to look for Blaine as soon as Mr. Chang walked in and spied him immediately. He walked over and kneeled down in front of him, placing his hands gently on Blaine's pulled up knees.

"You ok?" he asked softly. Blaine nodded slightly. "Did you hear from him?"

Wordlessly, Blaine reached into his bag and pulled out his cell, fiddling with it for a second before tossing it to Kurt.

Kurt caught it and looked at a series of texts.

**Sorry I can't make it son, last minute drills on the base today. You understand. ~ Dad**

**Sure Dad, I understand perfectly. ~ Blaine**

Kurt couldn't say he was surprised in the slightest, but it didn't stop the sadness and anger he felt on Blaine's behalf. As he backed out of those texts another one caught his eye. He looked up slightly at Blaine, and his boyfriend's eyes were downcast, his mind elsewhere. Kurt quickly, against his better judgment, clicked on the conversation.

**Hey Hot Stuff, meet me after the competition in the lobby. I caught a glimpse of you in that white tuxedo and I can't stop thinking about you. ~ S.**

**It is pretty hot isn't it? Kurt looks damn fine in it too. ~ Blaine**

**You'd look better out of it. ~ S.**

**Don't you have exams or papers to write? ~ Blaine**

**More important things to do here. ~S.**

The conversation ended there. Kurt checked the time and it was right before they had headed out to the auditorium when the announcements started. He wanted to confront him. He wanted to know if Blaine had known he was coming. Kurt had been shocked to see Sebastian in the audience, but Blaine's texts had no surprise in them. He wanted to understand all these things, but now was not the time or the place.

He clicked out of it and handed the phone back to Blaine who took it and threw it back in his bag without looking.

"Come on everyone," Mr. Schuester called. "Judges are ready, everyone get back out there." Mr. Schuester noticed Kurt and Blaine against the wall and went over to them. "You guys ok?" he asked, hands on his hips looking down at them.

Kurt got up immediately. "Yeah, we're fine," he said but looked back at Blaine who hadn't moved.

"Go on out there," the teacher said to Kurt, patting him on the back. "We'll meet you in a second."

Kurt walked off with the rest of his friends, looking back behind him concerned. Mr. Schuester reached a hand out to Blaine, who looked up at him and took it, pulling himself up.

"Anytime you need to talk Blaine, I'm here," the teacher said.

"Thanks," Blaine answered. "Not sure if Kurt's told you, but I'm really not that much of a talker. Especially to teachers," he added.

"Ah, but Finn tells me you're quite the boxer," he laughed.

"Yeah," Blaine said, voice low. "About that, sorry. I didn't mean to lose it in there."

"Yeah well…" Mr. Schuester put his arm around Blaine's shoulders. "Now that you have, you are officially a member of New Directions," he joked. "Now go win your trophy."

Blaine smiled and left his teacher to join his team on the stage. It didn't matter who was in the audience, or who had stayed home. It didn't even truly matter who won. What mattered were the people next to him, New Directions and TroubleTones, his new brothers and sisters, his new family.

The third place winners were announced and they all applauded as Kurt stepped out to talk to the lead singer. Blaine grabbed him back. With Kurt by his side, he would get through anything.

* * *

Quinn walked out of the bathroom and the girls looked at each other.

"So, what do you girls think?" Sugar asked. She was never a part of New Directions and the TroubleTones was created for her, though the other girls kind of took it over. Still, with losing and all, she wouldn't mind going to the New Directions if the other girls agreed.

"Like I said before, I do not want to be stuck singing behind Blaine and Rachel," Mercedes said.

"No one wants to be stuck singing behind Blaine. Have you seen him shake his booty? Not pretty," Santana sniped.

"I think it's pretty," Sugar remarked quickly. Santana rolled her eyes at her.

"Come on Santana," Brittany said, pulling Santana in with the hand she held. "It would be fun to be back with all our friends. I miss Mike as a dance partner. Not that I don't love dancing with you, but did you see him out there tonight?"

Santana frowned.

"And Sam did look pretty cute doing those body rolls and magic sex dance," Mercedes said with a blush. "I wouldn't mind being able to spend more time with him, ya know, now that he's back."

"Sam better watch himself or Shane's gonna kick his white chocolate ass back to Kentucky," Santana warned.

"Only if I tell him to," Mercedes retorted, with a sly grin to herself. "Well, Santana, it's up to you."

Santana thought about it. She had left so that she felt she had a safe place to be with Brittany. But New Directions had made it pretty clear that she was safe with them, despite Puck's always obnoxious comments. They had all reached out to her last week and she felt loved and supported by all of them.

Her only problem was Blaine.

Brittany was right, he would be her best friend if she let him. And the truth was, she didn't know why she wouldn't let him in. Brittany had said that he scared her. She knew that sometimes she hated him. Maybe they were too similar. Maybe it was all too close to home. She had yelled at him for going back to his father, and yet all she could think about was getting her Abuela back in her life. He was her reflection in every way, yet everyone saw perfection in him while they saw ugliness in her. In her heart she knew it wasn't his fault, it was hers. But she couldn't help it.

She was about to tell her friends she couldn't go back when she looked in their eyes. They wanted to. Mercedes wanted to be with Sam and Kurt. Brittany wanted to be with Mike and Rory and Artie. And Sugar just wanted to be on a winning team. How could she say no to that?

"Fine. Let's go."

* * *

They found them in the auditorium, singing in a way that reminded her of the beginning. Santana was tense at first, but as she watched them she was reminded. These were her friends, there to welcome her with open arms.

_Tonight_   
_We are young_   
_So let's set the world on fire_   
_We can burn brighter_   
_Than the sun_

Mercedes joined in first and Santana smiled as they all turned to them. Quinn and Rachel smiled and Santana, Brittany and Sugar joined in. Santana looked at Brittany and grabbed her hand. The New Directions reached out to them and they laughed back singing.

_Tonight_   
_We are young_   
_So let's set the world on fire_   
_We can burn brighter_   
_Than the sun_

Quinn crossed the stage to get Mercedes and as Rory held his arms out for her, Brittany jumped into his arms. Sugar jumped onto Artie's lap and Kurt wheeled them back, leaving Santana standing on her own.

_Carry me home tonight_   
_Just carry me home tonight_

_The angels never arrived_   
_But i can hear the choir_   
_So will someone come and carry me home_

She looked at Blaine. And half of her wanted him to come for her. He glanced at her quickly. He thought about going to get her. But how many times had she left him standing there, insulted him, made him follow her. Kurt was right. He couldn't play the game anymore. So he turned away. Rachel went to get Santana and brought her to Finn, who hugged her warmly.

_Tonight_   
_We are young_   
_So let's set the world on fire_   
_We can burn brighter_   
_Than the sun_

Santana, Finn, Rachel and Mercedes moved downstage and turned to the rest of the group, the two sets of leaders singing to the rest.

_So if by the time the bar closes_   
_And you feel like falling down_   
_I'll carry you home tonight_

Blaine found himself alone for a moment, watching Santana, not sure which way to turn with her. But he decided that tomorrow was another day. Tonight, he would just enjoy that he still had a choice.

* * *


	12. Xtraordinary Merry Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So those of you who know me, know that I really dislike Christmas on television. So I was very surprised to find that for the most part I really liked Extraordinary Merry Christmas.
> 
> This chapter has two scenes I am very happy about and actually wrote weeks before the show aired. 
> 
> "Dear Santa" is written by the wonderful Scott Evan Davis. Click on the link and listen.
> 
> I also hope you guys really enjoy my Gleeful Chanukah!

"Sweetheart, can you and Kurt go into the closet in the study and go through all the ornaments? I put everything in two totes back there. Just look through it and decide which ones you guys want for the house and the tree. "

"Sure Mom," Blaine said. He grabbed Kurt's hand pulling him along. Blaine had never been so excited for Christmas before. Last year he spent the holiday singing  _Baby It's Cold Outside_ with the daughter of a Major at the annual Christmas Ball on the base. It had ended in disaster.  This year he would be home, safe and happy with Kurt and his mother and it was going to be the best year ever. He and his Mom decided to get and trim the tree two weeks before Christmas and he was thrilled when Kurt agreed to come over and help.

The two boys went into the study and pulled out two giant bins of Christmas ornaments and decorations. As they dug through, Kurt made a pile of decorations he thought were classy or endearing, and a pile of things he thought were gaudy. Occasionally, Blaine would pull something out of the gaudy pile and explain how he had it made it for his mother in Kindergarten, or his father had sent it to him from some faraway place when he was younger. Every time, Kurt would give into Blaine's puppy dog eyes, and move whatever it was to the keep pile.

"Oh look, what's this? A Dear Santa letter?" Kurt grinned widely, holding an old envelope in his hand. "Let's open it up and see what little Blaine wanted for Christmas!"

Blaine looked up suddenly with a horrified look, and went to grab it. "No, Kurt." Kurt had been teasing, but Blaine's tone made him stop and turn. "Please," Blaine begged, his voice cracking as he held his hand out for the letter. Blaine looked as though he was seeing a ghost.

"What is it, Blaine?" Kurt went to him, touching his arm gently and handing him the letter. Blaine took it and stared, disappearing into it like a spaceship into a black hole. Kurt rubbed Blaine's arm to bring him out of the darkness. "Hey," he said quietly. "It's okay, you're here, you're safe." Blaine slowly looked up at him, tears in his eyes. Kurt was his light in dark places. Always.

Blaine's voice was quiet and reminiscent. "I wrote this when I was 8, the Christmas before Dad went to Iraq. I left it out on my desk the night I wrote it and in my sleep I dreamed a melody to go along with my words. When I woke in the morning it was gone. I came to believe I had dreamt the whole thing." He opened it up and stared at it, getting lost in the memory. "How did it end up here?"

"Sing it to me?" Kurt asked quietly.

Blaine looked at Kurt, then back down to the letter. Kurt saw the tears forming in Blaine's eyes as he remembered, and he reached out to squeeze his free hand in support. Blaine handed the letter to Kurt, looking at the floor. Kurt read along as Blaine sang from memory.

[ _Dear Santa Claus I'm writing you this Christmas_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ7pD9Ol0iA)   
_With a wish that's different from the rest_   
_I don't want toys or cars or games as maybe you have guessed_   
_See Mom and Dad are fighting_   
_But they won't tell my why_   
_And it must be bad cause yesterday_   
_I saw my Daddy cry_

Kurt looked up to see Mrs. Anderson standing in the doorway, watching Blaine. Blaine was so lost, he didn't notice. Amy already had tears running down her face. Kurt turned back Blaine. His eyes were distant and dark, full of painful memories.

_So Mister Claus what I'm asking for_   
_Maybe only you can do_   
_Please Santa Sir_   
_Can you make things like they were?_

The tempo to the song increased with the desperation in Blaine's eyes. He looked up at Kurt, but through him, with a fierceness Kurt only ever saw when Blaine felt he was fighting for his life.

_Back when Daddy wasn't angry_   
_And Mommy was around_   
_And I wasn't yelled at all the time_   
_Or scared to make a sound_   
_And I know you must have better things_   
_To do this Christmas Eve_   
_But the only thing I really want_   
_Is for Mommy not to leave_

_So Santa if you're out there_   
_I will gladly take the blame_   
_I would like to use my Christmas wish_   
_To keep our lives the same_

Blaine's eyes softened as the song did again, and he reached for the letter, reading the last few words, though Kurt knew he didn't have to.

_So say hello to Mrs. Claus_   
_And give the elves my best_   
_But don't forget the things I've said_   
_Please grant me this request._

_Yours Truly,_   
_Me_

Silence swept over the home as Kurt and Mrs. Anderson truly took in what they had just witnessed. In Blaine's mind he remained in the bedroom of his 8 year old self, listening to his parents fight downstairs, about him, as he wrote the letter. It wasn't until Kurt broke the silence, that Blaine returned to reality.

"That was beautiful," Kurt whispered.

Blaine wiped away tears he hadn't realized he'd shed.  "Thank you." He looked up to Kurt, then around the room, and realized for the first time that his mother stood in the doorway. His eyes bore into his mother's and so many emotions flew to the surface. "Did you have the letter this whole time?" he asked desperately.

Mrs. Anderson nodded, tears in her own eyes. She couldn't believe that Blaine not only remembered the letter, but had turned it to song.

"Is that why you stayed?" Blaine asked, his voice breaking.

"You wished it for Christmas," she answered, taking a step toward her son. "How could I let Santa fail to give you the one thing you asked for?"

Blaine slowly stood up and took a step toward her. Then he ran and buried himself in his mother's arms. "I love you," he cried.

"I love you too son, I always have," she said, tears now streaming down.

Kurt turned to the ornaments, giving the two their moment of privacy, until Mrs. Anderson held her son away from her and looked between him and Kurt. "Now the two of you need to finish sorting through those ornaments, because that tree out there is looking awfully bare." She wiped her eyes and returned to the living room.

Blaine looked after her as she left. Kurt walked up to Blaine, hands in his pockets, his heart still heavy. "Blaine," he started.

"Stop," Blaine said with a commanding look in his eye that quickly softened as he pulled Kurt close, wrapping arms around Kurt's waist. "It was a long time ago."

"So was my mother's death," Kurt said quietly. "You don't ever forget."

To comfort them both, Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt, until he felt Kurt relax beneath him. "This is our first Christmas together," Blaine smiled at him. "Today we start making new memories."

This time Kurt initiated the kiss, lingering to memorize the moment. He pulled away slowly and looked at Blaine, eyes sparkling. "So, can we start by putting that ugly green elf in the No pile?" he grinned.

Blaine frowned. "But I made that elf in the 2nd grade," he whined. "My mother told me it was beautiful."

"She lied Blaine," Kurt told him bluntly. "New memories, remember? New memories," he said returning to the cartons of ornaments lying on the floor.

Blaine stood with his arms folded, staring after Kurt sulking. After a minute he came back to sit down next to Kurt. "Fine," he mumbled. "But only because I love you."

Kurt smiled and grabbed his face, kissing Blaine quickly. "I love you too," he said smiling.

It was going to be a wonderful Christmas.

* * *

Blaine rang the doorbell to the Hummel household and Finn answered the door. He immediately pulled Blaine into a tight squeeze that made it tough for Blaine to breathe. It also squeezed the present that Blaine had so carefully wrapped in blue and silver paper, covered in beautiful menorahs and Stars of David.

"Dude, I am so happy that you are here! It's great to have another Christian in the home," Finn said.

"Ummm," Blaine answered confused. "Isn't your whole family Christian?"

"Yeah," Finn explained, closing the door and ushering him inside. "But Rachel's been giving them Hanukkah lessons for a week now, and I just want to sip my eggnog and sing Christmas Carols by the tree."

"Dude." They both heard the voice from behind them, and turned around to see Puck. "If you are going to date a Jewish girl, then you seriously need to put your Christmas wishes aside and get into the spirit of Chanukah. Here," he said throwing an arm around his best friend and handing what looked to both boys like a top with funny letters on it to Finn and Blaine. "Have a dreidle."

Blaine smiled a thank you, shaking his head at those two, and went off to find Kurt. He found him, as he often did, in the kitchen. But this time he was huddled over the stove with Rachel, both in aprons, making potato latkes.

Kurt smiled broadly as Blaine walked over to Rachel, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and held her present out for her. "Happy Chanukah, sweetie," he said.

Rachel smiled but pushed him aside. "Thank you, but watch out, the oil is going to splatter all over your handsome outfit."

Blaine left the present on the counter and took a step back grabbing Kurt's hand and pulling his boyfriend towards him. "Hello gorgeous," he grinned, kissing him lightly on the lips. He whispered in Kurt's ear, "I love seeing you in an apron, cooking for me."

Kurt swatted him gently with the spatula in his hand. "Chauvinist," he teased as Blaine jumped away and headed to the living room.

"I'm going to watch television in the other room, where it's safe," he called behind him.

Blaine went into the living room to find Finn and Puck on the couch and Burt in the recliner, all watching  _Frosty the Snowman_. Carole was happily sitting on the arm of Burt's recliner, stringing popcorn, Burt's arm around her waist. Blaine shook Burt's hand in greeting and gave Carole a kiss on the cheek before relaxing himself on the couch. It still amazed him sometimes how comfortable he was in the house and how comfortable everyone was with him, but he guessed that's what happened when friends slowly became family.

Blaine peered over to Puck and looked at him questioningly. "Now, I love this movie, but are we really supposed to be watching Christmas movies on the first night of Chanukah?" he asked.

Puck looked over at him with a scowl. "Find me a Chanukah movie and I'll put it on in an instant."

They all watched quietly for a bit, until Rachel came bounding in with a big smile, clapping her hands together. "We're ready!" she announced.

They went to the dining room where they stood in awe. Rachel and Kurt had set the table with a blue tablecloth, and there was a gorgeous gold menorah in the center of the table, matches perfectly placed next to it, with one candle in the center and one in the last holder on the right side. There were plates of regular potato latkes as well sweet potato latkes, and two bowls full of applesauce and sour cream. In addition, Kurt had prepared a huge salad, with some steamed chicken on the side for anybody who wanted it. On the buffet behind the table were a stack of presents wrapped in assorted Chanukah paper, as well as a basket full of chocolate coins. There was another basket full of yarmulkes, that Rachel took and passed around to all of the guys in the room. On her own head she placed a beautiful lace head covering.

Kurt snuck over to Blaine's side and wrapped his arm around Blaine's waist, the two smiling at each other. This was going to be the happiest holiday season that all of them had the pleasure of celebrating in a long time. And if Kurt and Rachel had their way, it was going to be the first Chanukah they all spent together in a long line of future Decembers.

"So, Puck and I have been planning this for a while. We know that New Directions always neglects Chanukah, and that's fine, but we really wanted to sing a song for you tonight, in addition to doing the traditional prayers," she explained. "Puck?" she cued.

Puck walked around to the backside of the table and lit the middle candle, called the shamash, and addressed them all as if they were in Glee club. "So this is my favorite Chanukah song, it's by the BareNaked Ladies and it's called [ _Hannukah Blessings_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIgqirSadms). I hope you enjoy it."

_How lucky are we that we_   
_Have lights so we can see_   
_Although the day is done_   
_What a miracle that a spark_   
_Lifts these candles out of the dark_   
_Every evening, one by one_   
_Until the end of Hanukkah, of Hanukkah._

_With the jingle bells and the toys_   
_And the TV shows and noise_   
_It's easy to forget_   
_At the end of the day_   
_Our whole family will say_   
_These words for Hanukkah_

Rachel stood on the side of the table with everyone else, and joined in with Puck, singing the first Chanukah blessing with him as the song continued. She took the Shamash candle and she lit the single candle for the first night.

_Baruch atah Adonai, eloheinu melech ha'olam, asher kid'shanu_   
_B'mitz'votav v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Hanukkah._

_Light the candles for Hanukkah, for Hanukkah_

Rachel took hold of Finn's hand, and they snuggled together before the light of the menorah. Carole and Burt did the same off to the side. Blaine laid his head on Kurt's shoulder and smiled. Puck and Rachel continued singing, Puck taking the melody while Rachel took the harmony.

_We remember how Maccabees_   
_Fought so all of us could be free_   
_And so we celebrate_

_On this festival of the lights_   
_There's a joyful time every night_   
_But we illuminate_

_The candles of Hanukkah, of Hanukkah  
_

Rachel encouraged the Hummel family to join in, since she'd been working with them all week to learn the prayers, and Blaine smiled at his adopted family as they tried hard for Rachel's sake.

_Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha'olam she'asa niseem_   
_La'avoteinu bayamim haheim baz'man hazeh._

_Hanukkah..._   
_Hanukkah..._

Everyone applauded as Rachel and Puck finished the song and Puck took a deep bow, beaming. Rachel hushed everyone after an appropriate amount of applause had past. "Ok, before we start the festivities, there is one more prayer that we say on the first night of Chanukah.  _Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu Melech haolam shehecheyanu v'kiy'manu v'higianu laz'man hazeh_."

"What does it mean?" Kurt asked quietly.

Rachel smiled. "It means 'Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who has granted us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this occasion.' It's a prayer of thanks for letting us all be together to celebrate. And I really want to say, I am so thankful to be with family and friends today. I love you all," she said and turned to smile up at Finn. "Especially you." Finn leaned down to kiss her gently. Her smile glowing, she turned to everyone. "Does anyone else want to say anything?"

Blaine stepped forward, letting go of Kurt. "Umm, if you don't mind, I have something I'd like to say." He looked to Rachel who smiled at him and Burt who nodded and he turned to the group. He spoke quietly and hesitantly at first. "It has been a really long time since I haven't had a sense of dread coming into December. But Kurt," he said reaching for his boyfriend's hand as Kurt clasped it. "You and your family have saved my life. Burt, you have showed me what it means to truly be a Dad and to be a man and I am so grateful to you for that. Finn, it took us some time, but we're putting our differences aside to support each other. Kurt." He paused, staring deeply into his eyes. "Whether you believe it or not, God brought you to me. Rachel was so very right when she said we were soulmates. And like the lights on that menorah, our light will burn so much longer and brighter than anyone expects." He watched as tears in Kurt's eyes sparkled with candlelight and he kissed his soft lips for all to see. "I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt responded with a shy smile. Then he turned to his family, only slightly embarrassed. "I think it's time to get this party started."

Everyone laughed and agreed as Finn yelled, "Thank goodness, I'm starving!"

The family and friends enjoyed their meal and played a rousing game of dreidel, which Puck won hands down, although Rachel was sure that he had somehow cheated by weighing down his dreidel. They exchanged Chanukah presents with one another, and sang songs into the night until Blaine and Rachel had to leave for home. It was a wonderful evening, and they all looked forward to it becoming a yearly ritual.

* * *

After Artie shared his ideas for the Christmas Special, Kurt and Blaine left McKinley for the day, excited. But as Kurt drove back to Blaine's house, he could tell that something was wrong. He turned to Blaine while keeping his eyes on the road and grew concerned. "Ok, Blaine. Spill. What's going on in that mind of yours?" he asked with care.

Blaine looked to Kurt and took his hand, absentmindedly circling his thumb on Kurt's palm as Sam's words played in his head. "Sam was right. You and I both know that as much as he does. It is the sad things that make you remember what's really important." Blaine's voice was quiet, his tone contemplative.

Kurt considered Blaine. "Blaine, I really wish we could do the Christmas special and work at the homeless shelter, but we can't do both, and, well, we just can't give up the chance to be on television. This is an amazing opportunity for us, everyone's been working really hard. And I can send the videos to NYADA to help with my application."

"I know Kurt," Blaine said sadly. "It's just that…if my Mom had chosen to leave my Dad when I was younger, that could have been us. It  _was_  Sam. I'm sure some of the kids there have been through what I've been through. It just seems so wrong to skip out on them."

Kurt smiled warmly at Blaine. "I love you, for thinking all of that. I really do. And I promise that you and I can go back there another time, ok? Sam was right, but so was Artie. Christmas is about being merry, and damn Blaine, you deserve it this year." He squeezed Blaine's hand. "We both do."

Blaine turned to Kurt and sighed. He smiled at Kurt and brought Kurt's fingertips to his lips, kissing them gently. "You're right. The Christmas special is going to be fantastic, and we'll go back to the shelter another day. Yes?" he asked hopefully.

Kurt looked at him before turning back to the road. "Yes," he promised.

* * *

In the end, they'd been able to go find a way to make it to the shelter after filming and Blaine was so grateful.  He watched Kurt read to the children at the shelter as he sat down with the families. He knew what some of those kids had been through, and he understood that being there for them was the most important thing they could have done that Christmas. He saw children with vacant eyes begin to smile and laugh with Kurt, and Blaine fell in love all over again. After playing Lucy and Desi in the television special, he began to see, perhaps for the first time, a future for himself full of love, acceptance, and security.

As they left the shelter, hands linked, Blaine turned to Kurt and smiled. "Come to church with me Christmas morning. Mom and I are going to the Sunrise service."

Kurt stopped and looked at Blaine as if he'd grown three heads. "As much as I would love the excuse to stay over tomorrow night, one - my Dad would never believe me, and two – you don't want me at church with you."

"Yes I do," Blaine said with puppy dog eyes.

"Well fine, but the other people around you won't," Kurt argued.

"I don't care," Blaine assured him.

"Well I do. Rory's tale of God and Christ was far more than enough for me for one year thank you very much," he said, ending the discussion. "I will meet you at your apartment after."

"I can't believe your father is letting you have Christmas dinner with me."

"Well, he understands how important this year is to you," he explained. "First time you and your Mom are on your own, I mean."

Blaine smiled and pulled him outside and looked up to the clear night sky, stars gleaming. "Pick a star and make a wish," Blaine said.

"Come on, Blaine," Kurt protested.

"Just like at my Dad's house, pick a star Kurt," he urged.

Blaine closed his eyes, hoping Kurt would do the same, and wished with all his heart. He opened his eyes and saw Kurt's closed. He carefully leaned over and kissed each lid. He grinned as Kurt's eyes rolled back and then fluttered open. "What did you wish for?" Blaine whispered.

"I thought if we told it wouldn't come true," Kurt teased.

Blaine ignored him, giddy from the excitement of the television shoot and the satisfaction of working at the shelter. "I wished for the chic, swank chalet, the fireplace, the opulent decor, us greeting our friends, the perfect life." Kurt smiled adoringly at Blaine. "Maybe some kids."

"Woah," Kurt panicked. "Put the brakes on that runaway train, mister."

"What, you don't want kids?" Blaine asked with knitted brow.

"You just need to slow down a bit. Let's not talk about kids until we stop  _being_ kids," Kurt said.

"I don't need," he said slowly pulling Kurt into an embrace, "to slow down." And he began to sing…

_It's a very, very, merry, merry Christmas._   
_Gonna party on 'til Santa grants my wishes._   
_Got my halo on I know what I want_   
_It's who I'm with._   
_It's an extraordinary Merry Christmas!_

Kurt laughed and pulled Blaine into the car to drive him back home. They had driven to the studio, then the shelter together from Blaine's apartment. "Blaine, I love you. But we don't even know what's happening next year yet. How about we take things one day at a time."

"One day, one week, one month, one year, one lifetime. Whatever I get with you I'm going to savor," Blaine said earnestly.

Kurt gazed into Blaine's hazel eyes and melted. "I do love you so, Blaine Anderson."

* * *

Blaine answered the door in his Sunday best, dressed quite similarly to his suit for the Special. Kurt was dressed in his best Marc Jacobs, and for a moment neither boy could stop themselves from staring at the other.

Mrs. Anderson came up behind them, laughing. "You two just going to stand in the doorway all night, or do you think you might invite him in Blaine."

Blaine shook his head, but never took his eyes off of Kurt. "You look absolutely stunning. Please come in," he said, extending an arm for Kurt to link.

"Thank you, Mr. Anderson. You look gorgeous yourself." Kurt linked arms with Blaine and nuzzled close.

Blaine leaned over and whispered. "Come with me, I have something to show you."

"Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes," Mrs. Anderson called with a smile, glad to see her son so happy.

Blaine took Kurt to his room and closed the door. He left the lights off, but Blaine had lit vanilla and pine scented candles all over the room, making the room both look and smell beautiful. Blaine seductively pulled Kurt inside to the center of his room, then looked up with a sexy smile and sang.

_Underneath, the mistletoe, hold me tight and kiss me slow._

Kurt looked up to see mistletoe hanging from a grate in the ceiling. Blaine pulled Kurt into him so that their bodies pressed together fully and he kissed Kurt passionately. Kurt immediately took control of the kiss and slowed it down, taking pleasure in every single moment, until Blaine felt like Kurt was putting him through delicious torture. When Kurt took a breath, Blaine wasted no time. He kissed his way down Kurt's neck, and began to unbutton Kurt's shirt to mischievously nibble beneath Kurt's collarbone.

"Put that Halo away Blaine? Guess we know who's been naughty this year," Kurt's voice hitched.

"Oh, but it's oh so nice." Blaine's sultry tone nearly undid Kurt instantly.

"Blaine, it's almost time for dinner," Kurt complained half-heartedly.

"Mmmm…." Blaine said, lips nuzzling where he marked Kurt, beginning to make his way down his chest. "Can't we skip dinner and go straight to dessert?" he begged. "You look so sexy and you taste so good."

"As tempting as that is, somehow I think your mother would miss us," he said breathlessly, gasping as Blaine made his skin tingle with delight.

As if on cue, the boys heard the doorbell ring and a quick knock on the bedroom door. "If you two can pull yourself away from Blaine's mistletoe for a minute, can you please get the door?"

Blaine fell to the floor in over dramatic fashion and Kurt reached a hand down pulling him up. "You go get the door. I have to put my clothes back together, thank you very much."

"You're very welcome." Blaine grinned, pecking Kurt on the cheek before he went out to answer the door.

He swung the door open without a thought, and for the second time that day stood motionless at the person on the other side.

"Santana?"

She looked at Blaine, almost shyly. "I didn't have anywhere else to go."

Blaine hesitated for only a moment before inviting her in and closing the door behind her. Kurt came out to join them, and hid his surprise, and possible disappointment, at Santana's unexpected arrival. Blaine took her coat, hat and gloves and hung them up in the closet. Then he turned to her, unable to completely hold back all he felt toward her, as his hands flew to his hips, considering her. "Are you okay," he asked, eyes scrunched.

Santana clearly saw Blaine's discomfort, and she knew she deserved it. She was reserved as she explained. "Brittany's gone and I didn't have anywhere else to go. My parents went to my Abuela's house with the rest of the family for Christmas dinner." Both Blaine and Kurt nodded, understanding that she was not welcome in the house. "They asked if I wanted them to stay home, but I told them to go. Then I got lonely," she finished.

Blaine studied her. He had so many things he wanted to say, and he knew that Kurt might get angry that he brushed it all aside, but it was Christmas and she was alone, and now wasn't the time to deal with other issues. "Of course you're welcome Santana." And he took her hand and brought her into the kitchen.

"We have one more for dinner Mom. This is Santana Lopez," he said introducing her. "Santana, this is my mom."

"Please, call me Amy, Santana. Just because Kurt won't, doesn't mean that Blaine's other friends shouldn't."

Santana smiled and offered to help Amy cook, which Blaine's mother readily accepted.

Kurt took Blaine's hand and led him into the living room, sitting underneath the Christmas tree and patting a spot next to him for Blaine. The two quietly sat, taking in the smell of the tree, until Blaine lay down against Kurt's chest and Kurt wrapped him up in his arms.

Blaine took Kurt's right hand in his and traced the gum wrapper ring on his boyfriend's finger. He smiled and clasped Kurt's hand. "Forever," Blaine whispered.

Behind him, Kurt smiled, his eyes twinkling. He remembered Blaine's fear and avoidance last Christmas, his complete refusal to admit he was falling in love, and he delighted in how far they'd come in a year's time. He held Blaine close, kissing him sweetly on his temple as he thought of all they'd been through and all they had overcome. Kurt looked up at the tree and the lights shining down on them, as Blaine had earlier in the week with the menorah. Blaine was right, their light would shine brighter and longer than anyone could dream.

It most definitely was an Extraordinary Merry Christmas.


	13. New Years Hiatus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is cute, gratuitous fluff that we'll probably all have to forget I wrote once Glee returns. But hey, RIB does that all the time with certain episodes, right? Anyway, it's inspired by Darren on Broadway, and the amazing production that is How to Succeed in Business. I am so proud of him and the show was fantastic and I totally stood in Times Square and cried while staring at Darren's billboard. No shame.
> 
> I do not own Glee. Or How to Succeed. Or any other real people mentioned in this chapter.

"Come on Dad, please?" Kurt begged his father.

"Come on yourself Kurt, you couldn't have possibly thought that I would say yes to this crazy scheme of yours," Burt answered.

It was the day after Christmas and Blaine hid in the Hummel living room, hanging on every word being spoken between Kurt and his Dad in the kitchen.

"Dad, if you're worried about the driving, we all plan on taking turns. And it's only ten hours. That's a little over two hours for each of us." Kurt was starting to whine. Blaine sent him silent thoughts to calm down before he blew it for all of them.

"It wasn't the driving I was worried about Kurt. What arrangements have you guys made for where to stay?" Burt asked, arms folded across his chest.

"Rachel's Dads booked two adjoining rooms when they gave her the tickets. Dad, please, you and Carole have to let us go," Kurt begged.

"I don't  _have_ to do anything, Kurt," Burt scolded. He was losing control of his son. When did that happen? He still remembered his little boy who came running home after school to spend time with him. Now he wanted to disappear for 3 days, and next year he would be off to college somewhere. He couldn't stop time. He couldn't even pause it for a few seconds. Burt sighed. "Finn is 18 years old, the rest of you are almost 18, and I'm not sure how good a job I would do at stopping any of you from going. Blaine's mom said yes?" Kurt nodded enthusiastically. "How did he get tickets for the two of you?" he asked suspiciously.

"After Rachel told him her dads had bought tickets for her and Finn, he called his father and asked for them for Christmas. So his father went online and got them." Kurt shrugged and added wryly, "Guess guilt is good for something."

"I don't want you boys using him for money and things, Kurt, got that?" Burt said sternly. Kurt rolled his eyes but nodded his head. "GOT THAT, Blaine?" Burt yelled in the direction of the living room.

"Yes, Sir," Blaine yelled back, contrite, then blushed, because clearly Burt knew he was listening to every word.

"So,  _if_ I let you go," Burt said, strongly emphasizing the  _if_ , "What exactly will be the sleeping arrangements at this hotel?"

Kurt leaned on the counter and jutted his hip out. "They are whatever you imagine them to be, Dad," he sassily answered his father.

"I  _imagine_  them to be you and Rachel in one room and Finn and Blaine in the other." He looked down on Kurt, eyebrows raised in expectation of respecting his wishes.

"Then that is how we will sleep," Kurt affirmed. "So we can go?" Kurt put his hands together in silent pleading, trying to make his face as puppy-dog like as Blaine was capable. "Please?"

Burt stared at Kurt for a long time, then took a deep breath. "It's fine with me if it's fine with Carole." Kurt jumped up and down in excitement and hugged his father. Burt hugged him back, then held him by the shoulders at arm's distance. "But you guys will come home before New Years. I do not want the four of you out there on New Year's Eve."

"That's no problem at all Dad, we already promised Brittany and Santana we'd go to their New Year's Eve party, so we were planning on driving back on the 30th."

Burt ruffled Kurt's hair then shook his head. "Crazy kids," he mumbled to himself as he walked out into the garage.

Blaine peaked his head in and Kurt turned to see him, beaming. "Is it safe to come in now?" Blaine asked with playful caution.

"Blaine," Kurt said. "We are going to New York City." He ran into Blaine's arms and Blaine picked him up and twirled him around.

Blaine gave Kurt a strong, quick kiss on the lips and grinned broadly at his boyfriend. "We are going to Broadway!"

* * *

"Finn, you  _cannot_  wear that to a Broadway show!" Rachel argued with her boyfriend as she looked through his packed bags. "Didn't Kurt and Blaine help you at all?" she asked incredulous.

"I don't want to wear bowties to New York, Rachel, I want to be comfortable," he argued.

Rachel rolled his eyes. "You can be comfortable and stylish too. Pretend you're dressing for Nationals. Come on, let's go back into your closet. We need to leave in 30 minutes."

* * *

Blaine sat on Kurt's bed as he watched Kurt finish packing up all his toiletries. Shampoo, Conditioner, moisturizer, hair gel and all the things that Kurt had finished using that morning went into the bag. Blaine stared expectantly at Kurt.

"What?" Kurt asked pertly.

"Forgetting something?" Blaine grinned and wagged his eyebrows.

Kurt pranced over to Blaine, kneeled on the bed and kissed him roughly. "No, I didn't forget anything, it's already packed. Eager much?" Kurt teased.

"I don't know what I'm more excited about. Broadway or being alone with you," Blaine mewled, his eyes narrowing as he pulled Kurt in to rest his curls on Kurt's chest.

Kurt looked down at him, in shock. "You can be alone with me anywhere, for a long, long time, Blaine. Broadway is an experience we won't get very often," Kurt said.

Blaine laughed and pushed Kurt off the bed. "You and Rachel are too much alike sometimes," he grinned.

* * *

Kurt and Finn brought their bags down and set them by the front door. They would be driving most of the day , sightseeing in Manhattan tomorrow before the evening show, and returning home the next day on Friday. Their excitement outweighed any concerns they may have had about the trip.

Finn and Blaine nearly ran to the plates piled high with pancakes, syrup, bacon and fruit cup that Carole had cooked them for their sending off.

"You guys have everything you need? Cell phone chargers? Toiletries? Clothes? Your tickets?" As Carole fussed, the kids nodded with every item on the list, Finn running upstairs once to grab his hairbrush that he'd forgotten. Rachel and Kurt rolled their eyes at the same time and Blaine broke out in hysterics.

"Alright Kurt, you're all set," Burt came walking in from the garage, car keys in his hand. "You are gassed up, the oil is changed, fluids are topped off, I checked the tires, the brakes, the windshield wipers, the battery and did a full point inspection."

Kurt smiled. "Thanks Dad, you're the best."

"You guys are going to call every day, and I do mean call. I don't mind a text to let me know where you are but I want one phone call a day, understood?"

"Yes, Dad," Kurt answered.

"Blaine, you'll call your Mom every day even if Kurt checks in with me. Same for you Finn, and Rachel, you call your Dads. I want all four of you checking in."

Kurt got up and went to his father. "We're going to be fine, Dad," he said giving him a hug. Finn took the cue from Kurt and went to hug his mother as well. He noticed she had tears in her eyes.

"We're not leaving for college, Mom, the only day you won't see us at all is tomorrow," Finn assured her.

Carole nodded and wiped away her tears. "I know Finn. It's just that you guys are all grown up, and I don't know when that happened."

Blaine sat and watched, wistfully as he often did, at the relationship Kurt and Finn had with their parents. He looked at Rachel who was smiling at Finn, and suspected there was a similar scene when Rachel left her house. Blaine had left on his own that morning, his mother already at work, having wished him well the night before. She hadn't been weepy or concerned, just told him to have a good time. She had left him many times before, in situations far more dangerous than a trip to New York. His father had told him to be careful, but there was rarely true care behind anything his father said. Not like Burt and Carole. His parents would never be like Burt and Carole. It was something he resigned himself to a long time ago.

"Alright you guys, you better get on the road if you're going to make it before it gets too dark," Burt reasoned. He took hold of Kurt's bags as Finn grabbed his own, and they shoved them in the back of the Navigator next to Blaine's and Rachel's suitcases. There were more hugs, including ones for Blaine, and the foursome climbed into the car, Kurt driving with Blaine next to him and Finn and Rachel in the back.

"Seatbelts on please, even in the back. You can cuddle from afar," Carole said.

Burt pulled out four envelopes and handed one to each of them. "A little extra cash," he said, "I don't want any of you to end up without money in an emergency."

Blaine looked at Burt. "You didn't have to do this, sir," he said sincerely.

"You're a part of this family Blaine, so take it and be quiet." Blaine smiled and leaned back in his chair. "And stop with the Sirs, you only do that now when your intentions toward my son are less than honorable," Burt ordered.

Blaine grimaced as his face turned crimson.

"On that note," Kurt squeaked, "We are leaving. See you in two days! We love you!" Kurt rolled up the window and pulled out of the driveway. They all waved as they made their way down the road.

Kurt sighed, Blaine futzed with the IPod, and Rachel moved over to the middle seat, refastening her seatbelt, and snuggled under Finn's arm. Suddenly, all four of them yelled. "Road Trip!"

* * *

They arrived at the hotel both exhausted and exhilarated. The moment they had entered Manhattan and had started to see the Broadway marquis, Rachel and Kurt squealed and Blaine looked out the window with a quiet reverence. Kurt grabbed his hand, and saw tears in Blaine's eyes. It struck Kurt. He had always thought of Broadway as his and Rachel's dream, not Blaine's. And yet, there was so clearly a silent passion Blaine held tightly to himself. Kurt wondered if Blaine had ever truly let himself feel it before now, or if he had just been too self absorbed to see it.

They were lucky that Finn was driving, because the other three would likely have crashed the car, distracted by the sights. Finn dodged the taxis and the pedestrians, nearly having a heart attack at one point as a bicyclist shot out in front of the Navigator, and breathed a sigh of relief as he finally arrived at the hotel. They praised the Broadway gods for valet parking and for the extra money they had been given. They checked in and got the keys for their rooms. Rachel kept one for herself and Finn and handed the other to Kurt.

"Be good, boys!" she laughed.

Finn ducked his head and mumbled to himself as Kurt reddened and Blaine laughed. The four hoisted their luggage onto a baggage cart and located the elevator to take them up to the tenth floor. They found their rooms, and each couple looked at each other with sheepish grins as they slipped the cards into the readers. The doors flashed green, unlocking and they disappeared inside.

Kurt and Blaine opened the door to a gorgeous room with a king size bed covered in a red and brown down comforter, and a marble bathroom large enough for both of their bags of hair and facial products. They put their suitcases down on the luggage racks and turned to each other smiling.

"I don't think this is what your father imagined," Blaine said taking a step toward Kurt.

"Actually, I am pretty sure this is exactly what he imagined," Kurt said, taking his own step forward and wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck. "Welcome to New York," Kurt whispered.

"I love you," Blaine murmured as his lips met Kurt's neck, sending shivers down both their spines. Kurt's eyes rolled back in his head and he closed them, feeling the moist heat of Blaine's lips on his skin. His senses returned when Blaine started unbuttoning his vest and quickly discarded it on top of his coat.

"Blaine," Kurt whispered.

"Shhh…" Blaine hushed, catching his boyfriend's words in a kiss that Kurt took control of and deepened until he grabbed Blaine's shirt and tugged it over his head.

"Should we go check out the bed?" Kurt asked breathlessly.

Blaine didn't answer, instead leading Kurt to the bed and pushing him down, lying above him with his hips pressed into Kurt's. "Is this what you want?" Blaine teased.

Kurt's head fell back and his heart raced wildly, thinking for a moment it was going to explode out of his chest. Blaine's heart skipped a beat seeing how wrecked Kurt already was. "Do you want me?" he whispered in Kurt's ear.

Kurt could barely speak, managing only a quick nod and a desperate, "Please."

Blaine reached down and deftly undid Kurt's skin tight jeans. He leaned over and kissed his soft lips deeply, separating only when absolutely necessary . Blaine smiled down at the most beautiful face in the world. "Welcome to New York."

* * *

The only thing missing the first time Kurt came to New York was Blaine, and now everything felt perfect. Kurt couldn't stop himself from showing Blaine all the places they'd gone last time. They strolled through Central Park, Blaine taking pictures the entire time. They had lunch at Sardi's and suffered Rachel telling again the story of how she met Patti LuPone. They went to Tiffany's, only this time they didn't stay outside. Kurt and Rachel grabbed their boyfriend's hands as they explored every last inch of the store. Rachel tried on necklace after necklace, and Kurt showed Blaine every ring and bracelet he could imagine on his delicate hands. He showed Blaine some gorgeous cufflinks he thought would look perfect on him. Rachel pulled Kurt aside for a moment, looking longingly at the engagement bands.  _Someday_ , Kurt thought. "Someday," Rachel said, blushing and looking over at Finn.

Blaine took Kurt's hand and the four headed out to Times Square, Blaine continuing to take pictures of everything they passed. When they arrived, Rachel bounded up the TKTS steps. Kurt started up after her, but watched as Blaine just kept walking, forgetting anything but the destination he had set. Kurt followed, nearly running to keep up, stopping only when Blaine stood before the humongous poster of Danielle Radcliffe in How to Succeed in Business. Kurt caught up and took his hand, breaking Blaine out of his spell and catching tears in Blaine's eyes.

"He means that much to you, doesn't he?" Kurt asked gazing up at the poster as he leaned his head on Blaine's shoulder.

Blaine's voice was quiet, and his eyes never left the billboard. "There were days when those books and movies were the only thing that kept me going. Sometimes it was my only hope that there would ever be a way out of my own cupboard under the stairs. And then I found Dalton and friends who cared about me, and it seemed like it was all coming true. I found a place where I belonged, someplace I could call home. And maybe, just maybe, like Harry, I'd find a family and someone who loved me. And I did."

"Does that make me Ginny or Ron?" Kurt asked with a scrunch of the nose.

"Cute," Blaine said teasingly, kissing him on the nose. He took Kurt in his arms, unafraid on the streets of New York. "And now, the man who played him follows my dream to Broadway. And I'm going to see him perform. Kurt, I can't believe this is happening."

"Well, believe it," Kurt smiled. Rachel and Finn came up behind them and Rachel went on and on reminiscing about their time on the Wicked stage. But Blaine didn't care. Tonight he was going to be in the audience of his first Broadway show.

* * *

"Why are you crying," Kurt asked gently as Blaine applauded wildly during the curtain call. The standing ovation let him rest his chin on Blaine's shoulder and pull him back tightly against his chest as Blaine continued to applaud loudly.

"The show was amazing. I want so badly to be a part of something like that. For that to be me up there," Blaine admitted.

"It will be Blaine," Kurt assured him, whispering in his ear. "That will be us up there. See that gay faced chorus kid up there? That's me. Forever singing back up to you and Rachel as you two take the final bows."

Blaine pulled away and grabbed Kurt's hand. "No way, Kurt," he said firmly, pride gleaming. "You are a star."

They smiled at each other and turned back just as Daniel Radcliffe came out for his curtain call. They both yelled and screamed, and neither one of them cared. They watched a hero today, and someday it would be them.

* * *

Blaine arrived at the New Years Eve party first. Kurt, Finn and Rachel were coming together. They four of them had gone out to eat after the show, then tiredly stumbled into bed only to wake up the next morning to drive back home. The ride was quiet, and they all crashed last night once they got home and spent the day recovering. Kurt called Blaine to let him know it was easier if they just came separately and Blaine agreed. He packed an overnight bag and told his mom everyone was staying over at Brittany's house.

The door was answered before he could even ring the bell and Brittany gave him a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Happy New Year!" she yelled, as she placed a plastic hat on his head and led him inside. Artie, Mike and Tina were already there, as was Santana.

"Hey boyfriend," Santana said, placing a chaste kiss on his lips, surprising Blaine. He could taste the alcohol already on them, but it was early and Santana still appeared sober. "Here, have a cup," she urged, handing him a cup of beer.

"Maybe later. I want to show you something first," he said.

Blaine took Santana's hand and led her to a quiet corner of the room. Santana was intrigued.

"So how was your trip to New York?" she asked.

"It was amazing. Sit down, I want to show you something."

The two sat together on the floor, legs stretched. In the privacy of Brittany's home, and with a little of her inhibitions gone, Santana could just be at ease with Blaine and not worry about all of the fears and feelings he typically brought out of her. It was like at the jazz club, and thinking about it, she realized how nice it felt. She glanced over as he fumbled with his phone, and she snuggled in with him.

Blaine was taken by surprise again, and smiled down at her. He hoped it wasn't just the alcohol, but that Santana was finally feeling comfortable with him. They had helped each other in so many ways, though neither ever wanted to admit it.

He turned his phone on and scrolled through to the pictures he had taken in New York. "Here, I wanted to show you these," he said handing the phone over to Santana.

He had noticed it as soon as they entered the city. Amongst the Broadway signs and the internationally known landmarks, were hundreds of thousands of people. People just like him and Kurt. People just like Santana and Brittany. He took picture after picture of couples holding hands, couples kissing. He took a picture of two women in the park feeding each other strawberries. He took pictures of an older gay couple, holding hands and dressed to the nines before the show. He took a picture of two teenage girls, arms linked, in Times Square that had reminded him so much of Santana and Brittany. He looked at her with anticipation and a hint of worry. But it was unnecessary.

Santana looked up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears. "These are beautiful Blaine," she said, resting her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for sharing them with me."

"There's a real way out, Santana," he said, voice deep and low. "It may not be here in Lima, but it's out there, just waiting for you. Just waiting for us," he said.

She kissed his cheek and hugged him gently. She stared into his eyes, seeing as always, herself in his reflection. "Thank you," she said.

* * *

Kurt grabbed the cup of beer out of Blaine's hands just before he could take a sip. "Oh hells no!" he yelled.

"Kurt, you nearly spilled that!" Blaine admonished, grabbing for it. Kurt held it high above his head where Blaine couldn't reach. "Come on Kurt," he whined.

"Blaine, you hold your alcohol horribly, and I do not want a repeat of last year. Or Scandals."

"Sebastian isn't here and Rachel is hanging on Finn's every word," Blaine said. "As well as every part of his body," he added under his breath.

"Here you go, Boyfriend," Santana said, sweeping past him with a shot that Blaine grabbed and downed before Kurt could stop him.

Kurt took the glass out of Blaine's hand and slammed it on the table. "You want to get drunk, fine," he yelled. "You stay away from her," he ordered pointing to Santana, "and him," he said pointing to Rory.

"Kurt," Blaine slurred, grabbing his boyfriend by the waist and slumping just slightly, "Rory is straight."

"Yes, but you are not," Kurt responded forcefully.

"I only have eyes for you," Blaine said, pulling Kurt toward him. "Eyes, hands, lips…" he whispered placing a wet, liquor tasting kiss sloppily on Kurt's lips.

"Oh Blaine," Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes at the boy.

"2 minutes!" Brittany yelled, "Ball's dropping! Grab your champagne!"

Blaine took a champagne flute for himself and one for Kurt and they stood with their arms around each other watching the ball drop. "This will be my first New Year's kiss," Kurt remarked softly.

"Mine too," Blaine admitted smiling in wonder.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5," they all yelled.

Blaine looked over to Santana, who had her arms around Brittany. Santana caught his eye and they smiled at one another.

"4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!"

Blaine wrapped his free arm around Kurt, being careful not to spill his champagne. His eyelids fluttered, his eyes dark yet sparkling as Kurt's face flushed with joy. "I love you Kurt Hummel," he said.

"I love you too, Blaine Anderson," Kurt answered, and Kurt took the initiative. He leaned in and kissed Blaine, softly at first then swiping his tongue over Blaine's lips until they parted. Kurt sighed contently as he reveled in his first kiss of the year, the only kiss he ever wanted to repeat for the rest of his life. Blaine pulled away, catching a glimpse over Kurt's shoulder of Santana and Brittany, lips still locked and he smiled. He turned back to Kurt, falling into the ocean depths of eyes that made his dreams come true. "Happy New Year," he purred.

Kurt gazed into hazel eyes that gave him courage and strength, that made him fall in love over and over again. "Happy New Year, Blaine."


	14. Yes/No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, this story is a supplement to Yes/No, so I hope you've seen it! I am going to stick with my theory that RIB was giving Darren a break in this episode so he could put the majority of his energy into How to Succeed, and that's why we all missed him so much. So on that note: Here's what you missed on Glee!

"Come on, Kurt, make love to me," Blaine pouted with his best puppy dog face, his arms held out to Kurt.

Blaine was lying on Kurt's bed, staring up at him as Kurt sat with a book in his hand. They were supposed to be studying, but Blaine's mind was elsewhere. He was ready to show off his Jagger moves to his gorgeous boyfriend.

Kurt was hearing nothing of it. "Blaine," he protested, "Rachel and Finn are right downstairs and Dad and Carole could be home any minute. We are not having sex right now," he said definitively.

Blaine leaned up on his elbows. "Doesn't all this talk of marriage melt your adorable sarcastic cynicism at all? I thought you were the silly romantic?" Blaine said.

Kurt put his book down and leaned over Blaine, as Blaine rested his head back on the pillow. "I  _am_  a silly romantic, and I love a wedding as much as the next person. But  _you_ ," he emphasized with a quick kiss to Blaine's lips, "don't need to be getting any ideas. I swear, someone just mentions marriage and you're ready to propose."

"I love you, what can I say?" he grinned.

Kurt sat up and Blaine followed, pulling Kurt in for a cuddle. "Look," Kurt said seriously, stroking Blaine's hair softly. "I know what marriage means to you. A family that you can protect and will protect you. Kids you can adore and raise with love and affection.

"And I know what marriage means to you," Blaine said. "A gigantic theatrical production of pomp and circumstance that you get to write, design, direct and star in all by yourself," Blaine smirked.

"Which costs a fortune," Kurt reminded him. "And I have goals I want to achieve before we settle down with a family. Broadway," he dreamed. "Or a designer line. Marriage after that."

"Just promise I can have a co-starring role in the wedding. And that you won't wear the prom dress, okay?"

"Blaine!" Kurt reprimanded. "If you think that I am going to don a used ensemble that I've already worn to one of the most important events of my life, you do not know anything about me."

"Then what are you going to wear?" Blaine arched an eyebrow, amused.

Kurt glanced away mischievously, then straddled Blaine's lap, caressing him in the way only he knew how to drive Blaine wild. "I am going to wear the hottest and tightest, self-designed white tuxedo that you have ever seen," Kurt teased.

Blaine could feel the sweat on his brow start to bead and he had to clear away the lump in his throat, but he tried very hard to keep his wits about him. "I don't know, Kurt. I'm not sure you have the right to wear white anymore," he smirked.

Kurt tilted his head as he gazed at Blaine's blown pupils. He leaned in closer, his breath hot on Blaine's neck. Blaine stared in breathless anticipation as Kurt spoke into his ear. "Then maybe I need to begin earning it back," Kurt whispered.

Kurt climbed off of Blaine and sat on the bed opposite him, picking up his book with a satisfied smirk on his face. Blaine stared for a minute then collapsed back on the bed to catch his breath and settle the growing fire burning in his stomach. "You. Are. Evil," Blaine moaned. Kurt just snickered.

They were interrupted by a knock at the door and Blaine rolled over and groaned even louder. Kurt laughed, hopping off the bed and opening the door to find Finn.

"Hey," Finn said cautiously. "I…umm…hope I'm not interrupting anything. Rachel and I were going to go over to Breadstix. She's going insane waiting for the mail to come with the finalist letters and is obsessively refreshing the NYADA website. We were wondering if you two wanted to come."

"Yes, definitely," Kurt said with relief. "Other than the last half hour," he said glancing at Blaine, "I have not been able to get my mind off of those letters coming." Besides, he knew if he stayed he wasn't going to be able to keep his hands off of Blaine. He turned to his frustrated boyfriend. "You coming?" he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Blaine sneered at Kurt, then sat up, suddenly solemn. "You guys go without me," he said, getting up and grabbing his bag. "I think I'll just head home."

Kurt frowned at Blaine then looked at Finn. "Give me a minute, okay?" he asked quietly.

Finn looked back and forth between the two. He could tell there was something going on between them and he definitely did not want to be in the middle of it. "Sure dude. We'll just wait downstairs," Finn said, closing the door behind him.

Kurt turned to look at Blaine. "Are you mad at me?" he asked his brow furrowed.

Blaine's eyes opened wide, then softened. "No, Kurt, I'm not mad." He walked over to him and took his hand. "Look, you know I fully support you going to NYADA and New York and everything else you want to do, and being there with you before New Years was amazing. But it also reminded me that you will be there and I will be here. You and Rachel will have this amazing life there and I will be a voice on a cell phone." Kurt's eyes turned to sadness and Blaine cupped his face. "Hey, don't be upset. It's everything you want and I want it for you too. I just don't feel like talking about it tonight. Is that okay?" he asked hesitantly.

Kurt smiled softly and kissed him gently before hugging him tightly. "Of course it's okay. Are you going to go home?"

"Yeah," Blaine answered. "I think I'll finish the homework you distracted me from all afternoon.

"I distracted…" Kurt stuttered and Blaine grinned impishly. Kurt rolled his eyes and opened the door, playfully hitting Blaine on the backside as he passed by. "Blaine, you are incorrigible!"

* * *

Blaine sat at his desk, computer shining in his face. He had been trying to write his History homework since he'd gotten home, but then his father called and a simple ten minute phone conversation about nothing threw him into a tailspin. He looked at the clock. 7pm. He wasn't sure if Kurt had gotten back from Breadstix with Finn and Rachel or not, and after this afternoon he didn't want to appear overly eager. Or overly dependent. Or overly anything really. Maybe he needed to take a step back.

"Oh who am I kidding?" Blaine mumbled to himself as he rubbed his neck. "I couldn't take a step back from Kurt if my life depended on it."

He was brought out of his thoughts by his mother's knock on the door. "Come in," he called.

His mother opened the door slightly. "Sweetheart, there's a friend here to see you," she said inquisitively.

She opened the door wider and Blaine saw Finn standing in the hallway, hands in his pockets looking uncomfortable. Blaine grew immediately confused and worried. He stood up and came to the doorway of his room. "Finn? Is Kurt okay?" he asked with a slight panic.

"What?" Finn asked puzzled. "Yeah, dude, Kurt's fine. He, um." Finn tried to stop stammering. "He suggested I come by to see you," Finn explained bashfully.

"Oh," Blaine answered, surprised. "Well, then come on in." Blaine stepped out of the way and let Finn into the room. Blaine smiled his reassurance toward his Mom as he closed the door behind him. Finn looked around, taking in the sophisticated nature of Blaine's room and tried to decide where to sit. He looked at the bed and the desk chair and, thinking briefly about what Kurt and Blaine had probably done in that bed, he sat on the chair.

Blaine smiled and took a seat on his bed. "So, Finn, what can I do for you?"

"Um, well, you know how my mom always told me my dad died a war hero?" Blaine nodded. "Turns out that wasn't exactly true."

* * *

Finn explained to Blaine everything his mother had told him about his father turning to drugs after returning from Iraq. Blaine listened carefully, his heart breaking for his boyfriend's brother. Blaine knew better than anyone what it was like to love a father and then find out he wasn't the man you thought he was. Blaine just had gone through it at a much younger age than Finn.

"I just don't understand why she chose to tell me now," Finn was saying, more to himself than to Blaine. "Or at all really? Why not let me just go on thinking he was who she said he was?"

"Because she was scared," Blaine told him.

Finn looked up. "Scared of what?" he asked.

"You joining the Army, then coming back the same way," he answered. "Look, Finn, the military is a good career. I've met many good soldiers in my life who are also good men. But war," he emphasized, "it does terrible things to people. And Carole has to be terrified that it would do the same thing to you that it did to your dad."

Finn thought about what Blaine said for a minute, and Blaine sat quietly letting him take it in. "But why would he turn to drugs?" Finn could feel the anger and the hurt return and he tried to push it away. He didn't want to cry in front of Blaine. "Weren't my mother and I important enough? I mean, why would he just abandon us like that? What kind of man does that?"

"A broken man. I don't know what your dad was feeling over there and when he came home, but the things that he saw, the things that he probably did, they take a toll. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can really destroy lives and the military unfortunately doesn't do enough to prevent it, diagnose it, or treat it. Soldiers come back and many are fine. But many are not. Some hurt their families," Blaine explained thinking of his own father, "and some turn to drugs to try and make themselves feel better. They get lost over there, and they can't find their way back."

"How do you know so much?" Finn asked. "I mean, I know about your dad and all, but…" Finn trailed off.

Blaine looked away from Finn, embarrassment striking him, though he wasn't sure why. "I've been going to counseling. Sometimes with my dad, sometimes on my own. And my therapist gave me some books on PTSD to read. Books written by adult children whose parents have come back from war." He went over to his bookcase and pulled one out. He walked over to Finn and offered the book to him. "It helps. To understand," he said.

Finn looked at Blaine, then at the book, and he took it hesitantly. "Thanks man," Finn said. He lowered his head glancing at the cover. "It's just, I've lived my whole life thinking my father was a hero and now it turns out he wasn't," Finn said.

Blaine placed his hand on Finn's shoulder and squeezed it in comfort. Finn looked up and met Blaine's gaze. "They may not have been heroes to us," Blaine said sadly. "But I am certain that in that uniform, half a world away, our fathers were heroes to someone."

* * *

"Mr. Schuester, I think this is a wonderful song to propose with but I'm singing it today for the someone in my life who is special. The someone who means something."

Rachel stood in front of her friends, but the only person she saw was Finn. Her heart broke for him, for what he had lost when he learned the truth about his father. She had to show him that there was still someone he could hold on to. Someone with whom he could find a way out.

_I can't win, I can't reign_   
_I will never win this game_   
_Without you, without you_

_I am lost, I am vain,_   
_I will never be the same_   
_Without you, without you_

Kurt's heart had broken for Finn and for himself. It felt like all of their dreams were falling apart around them, and whatever happened, whatever they chose something would be lost in the process. He and Rachel were so similar; so driven, and all too frequently so selfish. Sometimes they forgot the people who made the journey worthwhile. They had grown up with huge dreams of leaving Lima behind, but they knew in their hearts that it was also leaving Finn and Blaine behind. Was it worth it? Would it be worth it without them?

_I won't run, I won't fly_   
_I will never make it by_   
_Without you, without you_

If it weren't for the beauty of Rachel's voice, Blaine's tears would have started falling down his cheeks. He had stopped running because of Kurt. But would he continue to have the strength to make it without Kurt? Blaine leaned over to Kurt and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "I love you," he whispered quickly.

_I can't rest, I can't fight_   
_All I need is you and I,_   
_Without you, without... You!_

Kurt looked over at Blaine and grinned at him. Tonight he would forget his threats to earn back his right for white. There was a time for teasing and a time for love. Blaine smiled back at him adoringly, their silent language, the one Kurt preferred in public, clear on both their faces. All they needed was each other.

_Oh oh oh_   
_You you you_   
_Without_   
_You you you_   
_Without you._

_Can't erase, so I'll take blame_   
_But I can't accept that we're_   
_Estranged_   
_Without you, without you  
_

Blaine glanced at Santana. She felt his gaze on him and looked back. They smiled softly at each other, knowing what was in the other's heart. So much between them, so unspoken. Mirrors of each other that they couldn't cover no matter how hard they tried. But it was easier together than apart, and for their friendship, in whatever form, they would always be grateful.

_I won't soar, I won't climb_   
_If you're not here I'm paralyzed without you, without you_

_I can't look, I'm so blind_   
_Lost my heart, I lost my mind without you without... You!_

_Oh oh oh_   
_You you you_   
_Without_   
_You you you_   
_Without you._

Santana glanced back again to Blaine and he nodded to her. She turned to Brittany and took her hand. Brittany smiled over and cradled it with her other. Santana's face glowed, not for Rachel's song, but for the love and strength she felt flow between her and Brittany.

_I am lost, I am vain,_   
_I will never be the same_   
_Without you, without you, without you_

* * *

Brittany and Santana were slowly finishing their desert at the Jazz club. Brittany's favorite singer was featured and the girls cuddled in each other's arms listening to her final set. Santana sipped her espresso while Brittany finished up the triple chocolate cake they had shared. Santana kissed Britt on her head and she thought of the song they had sung for Mr. Scheuster.

"Do you remember the first time you fell in love with me?" Santana asked quietly.

"No," Brittany shook her head.

Santana's heart dropped as she pulled away slightly. "What do you mean, no?" Santana asked more harshly than she had intended.

Brittany looked at the girl with innocent eyes. "I've always loved you. I don't remember a moment when I didn't love you," Brittany said.

Santana's face softened. That was what she loved about Brittany. Everything was always so easy with her, so simple. She never had to guess what Brittany was thinking or decipher the lies. "Do you ever think about getting married?" she asked, clasping fingers with her girlfriend.

Brittany shook her head. "I don't think I really believe in marriage," she answered.

"But you believe in leprechauns?" Santana quipped.

"I don't believe in those anymore either," Brittany said seriously. The conversation paused as the singer finished her song and both girls applauded, Brittany punching the air a bit in appreciation of the talent. She looked over in the direction of the girls, knowing they were big fans, and gave them both a wink. Brittany smiled widely. The waiter brought them their check and Santana insisted on paying, as she always did at the jazz club. These were her dates. Brittany's dates were always far more whimsical.

Santana had tried to let it go, but there was too much talk of marriage these days, and the question wasn't leaving her thoughts. "Ok, what is it about marriage you don't believe in?" Santana asked.

Brittany ran her hand through her hair, curling one lock around her finger as she explained. "People get up and make promises to each other that are forever, but unless they have a crystal ball or can tell the future, they don't even know if they will keep those promises. Who knows what tomorrow brings?" Brittany reasoned. "I don't want to make promises I might break someday. I'd rather just love someone and be with them until I'm not. And if it's forever, then it's forever."

Santana thought about what Brittany said. She didn't want it to make her sad, but she would be lying if she said all the talk of marriage hadn't gotten her imagining a life with her.

Brittany saw the sorrow in Santana's eyes and tried to wipe it away with a gentle kiss. Santana smiled softly. "I love you Brittany. I'm just so afraid I'm going to lose you," she admitted.

"Silly 'Tana," Brittany laughed and placed her hand in Santana's. "You could never lose me. I'm right here in your heart," she said.

* * *

Blaine lay in the dark of his room, his minding spinning with thoughts of Kurt; Kurt leaving, Kurt staying, Kurt and children and forever, Kurt walking away. He grew scared and reached out to the one person he knew would understand.

Santana sat on her bed in her negligee, finishing up some last minute homework when her cell played Man in the Mirror. She glanced at it quickly and smiled.

"Hey boyfriend," she answered, closing the book and tossing it on the floor. She reached over to the light on the nightstand next to her bed and turned it off, slipping under the covers and getting cozy.

"Hey 'Tana," Blaine said, easing into the conversation. "You and Britt have a nice date tonight?" Santana had told him after Glee club that the two girls were heading over to the jazz club.

"Yeah, it was nice." Santana hesitated. "Do you and Kurt ever talk about marriage?" she wondered aloud.

"Sort of," Blaine sighed. "Generally speaking, I talk and Kurt runs for the hills. That's kind of why I called you," he admitted. "You guys talk about it too?" he asked.

"Brittany doesn't believe in marriage," Santana said sadly in response.

"Oh," Blaine said glumly. "Seems like Kurt just wants to wait until his career takes off first. God, Santana, I'm just terrified he's going to make a life without me," he blurted out before he could even think.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Ok, calm down Boyfriend," Santana ordered. Following her own advice she took a deep breath.  "Look, Kurt and Brittany aren't like you and me. Despite the world being crap, they still believe that it is full of goodness and unicorns and lollipops and hopes and dreams that can come true. They believe in themselves. You and me? We believe in them."

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked.

"Our lives revolve around them. The ball is always in their court. Maybe it's time that you and I set the world on fire," Santana said.

"I'm not leaving Kurt," Blaine swore.

"I'm not saying you should, idiot," Santana snarled. Blaine heaved a sigh and Santana continued. "All I'm saying is, maybe it's time to start being Blaine Anderson and not just the boyfriend. Believe in yourself for a change," Santana urged.

"Well then I could say the same thing to you San." Blaine's phone vibrated with a text message. "Hang on a minute," he told her.

Blaine lowered his phone and flipped to the texts. He expected a goodnight from Kurt, or some news from Nick. He did not expect the text he received and he stared at it as his heart raced, nearly forgetting Santana was on the phone with him. "Shit," Blaine swore.

Hearing Blaine on the other end, Santana called out, "What is it?"

Blaine returned the phone to his ear. "Hang on, Santana, you are not going to believe this!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's texting Blaine? We'll have to wait for Tuesday to find out!


	15. Michael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michael. Wow. So I will admit that when I watched on Tuesday night, I was so devastated by Nick and the rest of the Warblers that I couldn't even concentrate on the immense amounts of Blaintana in the episode. Curt, if you are reading this (haha), I apologize for incessantly tweeting you.
> 
> I know how much you all are looking forward to this chapter, I received tweets and messages and reviews from you awaiting it, and I worked really hard to live up to your hopes and expectations. I love you for reading and alerting but I really want to know what you think so please leave a review! 
> 
> Just a reminder, as always, this story is a supplement to the show. If you haven't watched the episode yet, there are huge spoilers and you might be a bit confused. I have taken a little bit of liberty with the timing at the beginning and the end. Please forgive me if you disagree with my choices.
> 
> Now without further ado…here's what you missed on Glee (which I didn't write).

"Blaine Anderson, don't you dare answer that text!" Santana yelled into the phone.

"San, he is just asking a legitimate question," Blaine reasoned, rubbing his fingers through his hair.

"There is nothing legitimate about a guy who is shamelessly pursuing you, despite the fact that you are very taken, and starts every text he sends to you with the words 'Hey, Sexy!"

"He's just trying to get something out of his blazer," Blaine said meekly.

"With your tongue!" she exclaimed, rolling her eyes at his stupidity. "He's trying to get _you_ out of _your_ blazer and get into your pants Blaine. I absolutely forbid you to answer that text. And when he calls, which he will, I am ordering you NOT to answer the phone. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Blaine capitulated, as he snuggled down into bed. "Good night 'Tana," he said.

"Goodnight, Boyfriend."

* * *

Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the Lima Bean, watching in dismay as Sebastian approached their group. Blaine had broken his promise to both Santana and Kurt and he had no doubt that Sebastian would take immense pleasure in spilling his secret. This was how the world as he knew it ended, he thought dramatically to himself. He couldn't help but wish for one moment that he had on him Harry Potter's invisibility cloak, because all he wanted to do was disappear.

"Hey Blaine," Sebastian greeted. Blaine eyes shifted guiltily. "Hello, everyone else."

"Does he live here or something?" Kurt asked Blaine incredulously. Kurt turned back to Sebastian. "Seriously, you are always here."

Blaine avoided Kurt's gaze and kept his eyes trained on Sebastian, silently begging the Warbler not to cause trouble. When Artie questioned Sebastian about why he thought it wasn't a good idea for New Directions to do Michael Jackson for Regionals, Blaine's stomach turned over. Sebastian grinned shamelessly.

"Because we're doing MJ for Regionals," Sebastian revealed. "You see Warblers drew first position, so as soon as I heard what your plan was, I changed our set list accordingly."

"I'm sorry, how did you hear?" Rachel wondered in confusion.

"Blaine told me this morning," Sebastian shared with gleeful feigned innocence. "I just called for a tip on how to get red wine out of my blazer piping, and he would  _not_  stop going on about it."

Blaine shrunk away from the assault of eye-daggers coming at him from both sides, not to mention the sickeningly sweet smug from Sebastian. "I may have mentioned it," he mumbled.

Kurt turned to him indignantly. "How often do you talk?" Kurt questioned as Blaine stared at Sebastian in a disgust that was in no way diminished by the string of insults the Warbler directed toward Kurt and Santana.

"Alright so here's what you guys should know," Sebastian's silky voice grated on all of them. "I am Captain of the Warblers now, and I'm tired of playing nice." He purred as he wiggled his fingers in farewell, pleased at the carnage he left in his path. "See ya, Blaine."

They watched Sebastian leave the coffee shop, then all eyes turned to the loveseat. Artie had every intention of laying into Blaine about losing Michael Jackson, but stopped when he saw the fire in Kurt's eyes. "I think I'm going to go get a muffin to go," he stammered, quickly wheeling himself away to the back of the line.

Santana and Rachel eyed one another, but neither thought it a good idea to leave their boys alone together. If looks could kill, and right then they both would have bet they could, Blaine Anderson would be one dead boyfriend.

Kurt's cheeks were flushed with anger and his glare made Blaine shudder. "Seriously Blaine, how often do you and Sebastian talk? Is he on your speed dial? Because I know you are on his!" Blaine and the girls cringed as Kurt's voice grew higher and higher with his temper. "I'm not even going to ask why you bother to answer the phone when he calls! Though I suppose it really shouldn't surprise me at all that you like the attention."

"It's not like that Kurt," Blaine grimaced as he unconsciously rubbed his neck nervously. "I'm sorry I spoke with him. But Kurt, we can't let him bother us. Sebastian is harmless. He's all talk and no bite," he tried to explain.

"You are too trusting for your own good, Blaine," Kurt snapped as he stood up and gathered his belongings. Rachel quickly followed suit. "I'm not going to tell you who you can and cannot talk to, but your conversations with him," Kurt pointed furiously out the door, "they are a problem, Blaine. They are a problem for  _us_."

Blaine looked desperately after Kurt. He had known every time he talked to Sebastian that Kurt would hate it and yet he did it anyway. He couldn't even begin to explain why, he didn't understand it himself. But he would do whatever Kurt wanted. "Tell me what I should do, Kurt," he pleaded.

Kurt stared at him for a moment incredulously, then pulled his messenger bag over his shoulder. "Figure this out," Kurt said angrily to Blaine as he linked arms with Rachel. Kurt stormed off, nearly dragging Rachel out of the Lima Bean behind him.

"There's nothing to figure out," Blaine called sadly after Kurt as he left. He dropped his head into his hands.

"Well done, Boyfriend," Santana said sarcastically. "You managed to screw New Directions and completely piss off your boyfriend with one simple phone call that I believe I most explicitly ordered you not to answer."

"What am I going to do?" Blaine implored her as he peaked through his fingers at Santana.

"Your nicey-nice routine Blaine  _Warbler_ ," Santana emphasized, "is getting real old real quick. You don't need everyone to love you. You don't need Sebastian's attention or approval. And if you do, then Kurt is right. There's something you seriously do need to figure out."

He didn't need Sebastian's attention or approval, but the Warblers meant the world to him. Turning his back on one who asked for his help went against everything he had come to believe during his time at Dalton. Still, if it hurt Kurt, he would do whatever was necessary. "So what do I do?" Blaine asked desperately.

"About MJ? We go back to Glee and we find a way to get back at Sebastian and win Regionals."

"And with Kurt?" he asked pitifully.

"God Blaine, do I really need to spell it out for you?" she asked in frustration. "With Kurt in the room, you block the arrogant weasel from your life. From Twitter, from Facebook, and from Skype. Erase him from your contacts. And for God's sake Blaine, you stop answering his texts and his phone calls." Santana took in his face, so sad and naïve, and for a second he reminded her more of Brittany than of herself. She felt sorry for him and moved to sit next to him, taking his hand in hers. He met her eyes and was calmed by their sudden softness. "Then you buy him flowers and chocolate and his favorite moisturizer or whatever it is that makes him happy, and you figure out the most romantic thing you could possibly do for him, and you do it."

* * *

The room went back and forth with ideas on how to fight back and crush the Warblers at Regionals. When Mr. Schuester asked what Michael Jackson would do, Blaine figured out a plan, Warbler style.

"I know what Michael would do," Blaine said, glancing at Kurt who remained ice cold to him. He had created this mess, he would fix it. If this didn't prove to Kurt that he was serious, nothing would. "I think he would take it to the streets."

"And what?" Puck challenged him. "You're going to make the call to the Warblers? Hell to the No, I don't think so."

Santana stood up. "I'll do it. Blaine, give me your phone," she said, holding her hand out. Blaine pulled it out of his bag and handed it to her. Santana pointed two fingers out to Kurt and Blaine. "You two, with me," she ordered.

Kurt and Blaine glanced at each other as they followed Santana out of the choir room and into the girl's bathroom. She kicked out the freshman who were doing their makeup and locked the door.

She scrolled through Blaine's contacts and found Sebastian's number. She didn't miss Kurt's frown that the number remained in Blaine's phone but she would deal with their problems later. She pressed send and they listened on speaker as she waited for the rat to pick up.

"Blaine," came the silky voice of Sebastian on the other end. "I knew you'd call."

Blaine shied away from Kurt's death glare.

"This isn't Blaine, you needle-limbed demon, it's Santana Lopez, your worst nightmare. You may be Captain of the Warblers now, but the New Directions is your commanding officer and we are going to take your ship down. Tonight at midnight in the Westerville Center parking lot, we'll see who's Bad enough to do Michael Jackson. Oh, and if you can't make it because of curfew, we'll be more than happy to accept your white flag of surrender."

"Oh, you can bet that the Warblers will be there, every last one of us," Sebastian answered. "I can't wait to rumble you and your little public school friends into the ground."

"The pleasure will be all ours," Santana snarled.

"Oh, is Kurt there by chance?" Sebastian called through the phone. "You tell that little Barbie doll that if he wants Blaine he can have him. Those slicked back curls aren't worth my time anymore. But if he shows up on this little midnight rendezvous, he better watch his back."

Kurt crossed his arms nervously and turned away from the conversation.

"He hung up," Santana announced.

Blaine turned to Kurt and placed his hands on his boyfriend's shoulders, but Kurt shrugged them away. He'd been threatened before and it sent shivers down his spine. "I would never let him hurt you," Blaine promised.

Kurt turned on his heel. "No, you would just continue to engage him and lead him on until he hits his breaking point. Because that doesn't hurt me at all, does it Blaine?"

Blaine swiped his hand out and grabbed the phone from Santana. He scrolled through his contacts and came to Sebastian's name. He opened up the contact and deleted it from his phone, holding it up so Kurt could see. "I will make this right, Kurt. I promise."

* * *

The garage was dark, the rumble of song and dance was consuming, and everything was moving so quickly, but he didn't miss a moment. Blaine saw Nick grab the paper bag, and watched as it got handed off to Beatbox, who passed it to Sebastian. As the Warbler's self-proclaimed Captain pulled the cup out of the bag, Blaine recognized the contents immediately and saw Sebastian's line of sight shift to Kurt. Blaine acted without thinking, pushing Kurt out of the way of the frozen blast of red slushie. Momentum pushed him to the ground but pain kept him there as a fire erupted in his eyes. This wasn't the same as the first slushie he'd endured at McKinley High School. He heard screaming and he couldn't tell if it was him, Kurt, or some horribly twisted duet they sang.

No one saw Nick look back at one of his two best friends with complete regret.

Blaine's screams were like a knife stabbing Kurt over and over again in the heart. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. They were in the middle of nowhere and a slushie shouldn't cause this much pain. He kept calling Blaine's name, but it was like Blaine didn't even hear him. He just kept shouting about his eyes. Suddenly he felt hands on his shoulders, and he saw Santana lean down next to him.

"I'll stay with him, Kurt. Go call your Dad and Carole. They'll know what to do."

Kurt felt Finn's arms around him and he allowed himself to be led away by his brother. "What the hell did Sebastian do? I'm so angry and scared I can't even think straight."

"Do you want me to call?" Finn asked gently, distracting him from the very same thoughts he was having. Kurt shook his head.

Finn squeezed his brother's shoulder.  Kurt's fingers shook as he dialed the phone. Kurt's anxiety shifted to his father. It had to be nearly one in the morning and he knew the phone call would terrify his dad. It was a lesson he apparently had neglected to consider when they planned this battle.

"Kurt?" Burt's frantic voice, woken up from a deep sleep, sent waves of guilt through Kurt's bones. "What is it? Where are you? Are you ok? Are you at Blaine's house?"

"We're in Westerville. Blaine's hurt, Dad!" Kurt's voice cracked and caught in his throat.

"Hurt how? Are you alone? Did someone jump you two?" Burt blurted out his questions, not knowing which were more important.

"It's nothing like that. New Directions came out to challenge the Warblers and Sebastian threw a slushie at me, but Blaine jumped in the way and it hit him instead, except he's on the ground screaming that his eye hurts, and Santana's with him right now, everyone is here, Dad what do we do?" Kurt tried to stop rambling, but his tears were flowing.

"First thing you do Kurt is calm down. Is Finn with you?" Burt questioned.

"Yes." He sniffled and wiped his face with the palm of his hand.

"Ok. If it's just his eye, you probably don't need an ambulance. Have Finn take you and Blaine to the hospital and we will meet you there. And tell everyone else to go home."

"Ok Dad," Kurt cried. "I'm sorry."

"Sorrys are for later Kurt. Take care of Blaine now."

* * *

By the time they returned to Blaine, Puck and Santana had led him off to her car and Santana was cleaning him off with a towel she had in her gym bag. Everyone else was gathered around in concern.

"You owe me a new towel, Blaine Anderson, this was one of my favorite ones and now it is entirely stained with red dye," Santana chided him. "It looks like it's covered in blood, which is ironic given the blood that's going to spill when I get a hold of Sebastian, for messing with my Boyfriend."

Puck looked up and saw Kurt and Finn return. Kurt immediately went to Blaine and wrapped him in his arms. "What did your dad say?" Puck asked.

Kurt couldn't answer, his whole heart focused on Blaine. Finn stepped forward and answered for him.  "Burt said to take him to the hospital in Lima and they would meet us there. He told everyone else to go home.  Come on you two, let's get going." He put his arm around his brother and Blaine and led them to the truck.

Kurt cradled Blaine in the backseat while Finn drove the thirty minutes to the hospital where his mother worked just inside of town. Blaine was quiet, but occasionally winced in pain, and Kurt knew that something was really wrong. He rubbed Blaine's temple and brushed his fingers through his hair, and whispered over and over again that he loved him and everything was going to be ok.

When they arrived at the emergency room, they were met by Burt, Carole and Mrs. Anderson. Blaine's mother took him in her arms, and Carole led them off to a room that she had managed to secure immediately for them. Finn and Kurt sat in the waiting room with Burt. Kurt curled his legs under him in his chair, leaning his head on his father's shoulder. Finn was hunched over in his chair, hands clasped in front of him, his foot bouncing nervously.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the hustle and bustle of the emergency room waiting area. They all knew that more emergent cases waited while Blaine was cared for, but in that moment they could not care. Their only concern was Blaine.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Burt said quietly, breaking their silence. "Slushies have never caused any of you to need medical care and you've all been hit tons of times."

Kurt shook his head. "I don't know Dad. But there must have been something else in it, because he was screaming. I can't get that sound out of my head."

"Shh…" Burt soothed his son, holding his hand firmly.

Carole came into the waiting room and Kurt was the first to shoot up out of his chair. Burt and Finn followed closely behind. She called them inside the emergency room wing, away from the onlookers.

"Is he ok?" Kurt pleaded.

Carole took her step-son's hand. "He's going to be fine Kurt. I don't know what was thrown at him, but he has a deep abrasion on his right cornea. The doctor is concerned it won't heal on its own because he had similar injuries to the eye in the past when he was attacked at school. He can go home today, but they need to schedule laser surgery with an eye surgeon."

Kurt's hand flew to his mouth. "Oh my god! Can I see him?"

"We'll all go in and see him. The nurse is just putting an antibiotic and a numbing ointment into his eye and patching him up. Then his mom can take him home."

Kurt, Burt and Finn followed Carole to the room and Blaine looked up and smiled weakly at them. He held a hand out for Kurt and Kurt immediately took it.

The nurse finished her work and handed Mrs. Anderson the instructions. Carole eyed her, and she allowed the families the room for a minute.

"Nice eye patch, Pirate Blaine," Finn teased from the doorway.

Blaine chuckled. "Thanks, man. I always wanted to be pirate." Blaine turned to Kurt and tucked a stray hair behind Kurt's ear. "Don't squeeze so hard Kurt. I'm fine, you don't want to break my fingers."

Kurt suddenly realized he was clutching Blaine's hand hard enough to restrict the blood flow and loosened his grip. "I was just so worried about you," Kurt said softly.

"Well, I'm going to be ok. It's the Warblers and Sebastian we should worry about. I heard what Santana said," he said with a frown. He suddenly remembered Nick's role in all this, but he pushed it aside before the sense of betrayal overwhelmed him.

"Now boys," Burt stepped in. "I understand you are all angry and I can only imagine what Santana and Puck are planning behind closed doors. But we don't fight violence with violence, and I don't want to hear about any of you taking part in something like that."

"But Burt," Finn protested. "We can't just let him get away with what he did!"

Burt shook his head. "I'm not saying you should, Finn. I'm saying you choose a way other than violence. That's what I've taught Kurt all my life, and that's what I am telling you two. I'm sure your mother agrees with me Blaine," he said looking at Mrs. Anderson.

"One hundred percent," Mrs. Anderson agreed. "We've had enough violence in our life Blaine. I don't want you to think for even one second that it's the way to solve your problems. You know it's not."

Blaine nodded and realized how quiet Kurt had been. He looked at him in concern. Kurt's eyes were distant and he could only imagine what was going on behind them. "What are you thinking, baby?"

"I'm thinking I want to hurt him, like he tried to hurt me. Like he hurt you," Kurt said quietly.

Burt walked up behind him and placed an arm around his shoulder. "You go out at midnight looking for trouble and trouble is going to come find you Kurt. Not everyone in this world plays fair. You've known for a long time Sebastian sure doesn't." Burt looked pointedly at Blaine.

"So, um, I don't want to point this out or anything," Finn said, shuffling his feet behind them. "But, um, are we in trouble? With you guys I mean?"

The adults in the room looked at each other as the boys held their breaths. Blaine thought he was pretty safe, since he'd be laid up in bed for the next week or so anyway, but Kurt suddenly feared that he would be grounded and not allowed to visit Blaine at all.

Burt turned to the boys sternly. "I don't think anything we could do to punish you would make you learn your lesson any better than what you've already been through tonight. You guys are almost adults. Don't do anything to make us regret that decision, understood?"

The boys all nodded.

"Alright, let's get Blaine's coat on and get out of here. We all need our rest. Most of us have school and work tomorrow."

Kurt took Blaine's hand as they walked out of the hospital ahead of the others. It was dark and chilly outside, and the night sky was cloudy, lit only by a hazy moon. "Thank you," Kurt spoke quietly. "No one's ever taken a slushie for me before."

Blaine pulled Kurt's hand to him and kissed his fingers lovingly. "I promised I wouldn't let him hurt you Kurt, and I meant it."

"Well," Kurt said blushing, "It's the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me."

* * *

"I agree with Kurt, Santana. No violence," Blaine told her over the phone as he sat in the living room, the television flickering.

He hadn't been watching it. Anytime he was alone now, his mind drifted to how the Warblers had hurt him. He replayed over and over Nick picking up the paper bag and passing it off. He understood dueling with the Warblers, but he never imagined that even Sebastian's influence would drive them to real violence against Kurt or himself. He knew the eye would heal quickly. Remembering what Nick and his friends had done made him feel sick to his stomach. The Warblers had been his family when he'd had no one else. He couldn't help but feel in his heart now what he felt the day his father turned him away.

He was relieved when his phone rang and Santana's face shined on his phone in the darkness.

"Come on, one little tramp stamp?" Santana balked. "You two are absolutely no fun whatsoever. Neither of you would survive a day in Lima Heights Adjacent."

"Neither of us would spend a day in Lima Heights Adjacent," he answered with a smirk. "Look, violence isn't the answer, 'Tana."

"You know Blaine, Kurt and I are one step ahead of you. You better get your butt back to school or I'm going to steal him for my bestie and leave you with Rachel," she teased.

"Rachel and I have too much history," Blaine retorted. "So what is this plan you have?"

"Kurt told me all about how you Warblers settle your disputes. Since you can't defend your own honor, I fully intend to do it for you. No one messes with my friends. And if you guys won't let me beat him, I intend to join him."

"You're going to challenge him to a dual, Santana?" Blaine couldn't help but admit he was intrigued.

"You're damn right I am. I have every intention of getting him to admit just how smooth a criminal he is."

* * *

Blaine hated being alone in his room, hated not being in school with Kurt, so he was more than happy when his mother said that he had a visitor.

"Hey kid, how ya doing?" Burt asked as he took in the décor in Blaine's room and came to sit in the armchair next to Blaine's bed.

"Ok." Blaine tucked the covers around him tightly, feeling somewhat vulnerable in front of his boyfriend's father. "A bit nervous about the surgery, but I'll be ok."

Burt shifted slightly in his chair. "Your Dad come to visit?" he asked tentatively.

Blaine lowered his head and picked at the covers. "No, but he says he's coming for the surgery."

"Do you want him there?" Burt questioned.

Blaine looked at him, as best he could given his condition. He had been asking himself the same thing ever since his father called him. The first time bullying had sent him to the hospital his father didn't show up. It would mean something for his father to come this time. "Yeah. Yeah, I think it will be fine," Blaine answered slowly.

Burt smiled at him warmly. He marveled at Blaine's strength. He was glad for it. Blaine would need it in the coming months.

"I just left Kurt at school," Burt shared, changing the subject.

Blaine immediately sat up straighter with concern. "Everything okay? He's taking this pretty hard."

"Well, I brought him some news that I am pretty sure cheered him up." Burt smiled and held out an envelope. Blaine eyed it warily for a moment, seeing the NYADA return address, then slowly took it. With a deep breath, he pulled out the letter inside the already opened envelope. He read the words, and his face lit up.

"Oh my gosh, this is incredible!" Blaine shrieked. "I wish I could have been there to see him open it."

"Yeah, he was pretty excited. I'm sure he wishes you had been there too." Burt watched as a cloud fell over Blaine. He reached over and took Blaine's hand. "It's ok if it kills you a little inside."

Blaine blinked as his boyfriend's father watched him knowingly. "I want him to go. I am so proud of him. But," Blaine hesitated. "He's amazing. Some gorgeous college freshman is going to snap him up in a New York minute."

"You're amazing too Blaine." Burt squeezed his hand. Blaine looked down at Burt's hand laying on his own and remembered the first time he had felt that fatherly grasp. So many memories flooded back. Memories that included Nick and he quickly pushed them away. "I know you haven't been told that often enough by the right people Blaine, but it's the truth. And if you and Kurt are meant to be together, than some time and distance won't change that."

Blaine forced his lungs to breath and his eyes not to cry. "I will miss him so much."

Burt nodded. "So will I."

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, both reminiscing perfect moments with the one they loved. Blaine looked over at the letter and put it back in the envelope.

"Why did you come to tell me instead of Kurt?" he asked curiously.

Burt let go of Blaine's hand and sat back in the chair, crossing his arms on his chest. "Because I thought you would need a Dad to process this all with before you saw him. I don't want your feelings holding him back in any way."

"I don't want that either, Sir," Blaine assured him.

"And that's why I love you, Son." Blaine startled, and his breath caught in his throat. Burt noticed and laughed softly. "You and Rachel are every bit a part of the family as Kurt and Finn. That's the way the Hummel-Hudson home rolls. So don't think you can get rid of me just because Kurt goes off to New York. Got it?"

Blaine's voice was stuck in his throat, but he nodded vigorously and whispered. "Yes, Sir."

"Good." Burt leaned over and patted Blaine's hand, getting up out of his chair. "I have to head back to the shop. Tell Kurt he can stay for dinner if he likes. I know you two need to celebrate."

Blaine smiled, his voice returning. "Thanks, Burt."

"I trust the pain in your eye will serve as an appropriate distraction from any, um, overly enthusiastic celebrations," Burt said with a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

"Of course, Sir," Blaine responded quickly.

"Good." Burt nodded as he left the room to say goodbye to Mrs. Anderson.

Blaine smiled as he lay down for a nap before Kurt arrived, but his thoughts raced. Burt loved him. Kurt was leaving. But Blaine couldn't wait to hold Kurt in his arms and tell him how very proud he was to be with him.

* * *

Having Kurt nurse him back to health may have been the best thing about his eye injury. When he arrived after school that day, Blaine kissed him long and hard in congratulations for being a NYADA finalist. Kurt blushed and squealed for a few minutes, then swept it under the rug, choosing instead to focus his attention on Blaine. Kurt had completely forgiven him the instant Blaine took the slushie for him, and now he just felt guilty that Blaine was the one hurt and not himself.

Kurt had noticed how much Nick's involvement in the attack was bothering him. When things grew quiet, he would see the distant look in Blaine's face, as he felt the loss of a place he called home. He knew that it made Blaine feel abandonded and alone and he never wanted him to feel that way. He had the perfect Michael Jackson song to sing and he invited Finn and Rachel over to help him. He needed Blaine to understand that no matter what happened with the Warblers, he was loved and cared for by his friends now.

Kurt sat in the red leather armchair and took Blaine's hand as Rachel blew the note into the pitch pipe. Kurt sang, and all the feelings Blaine had revealed to Burt about Kurt leaving came flooding back. His love filled his heart, his pride filled his soul, and his sorrow filled his mind.

_Ben, the two of us need look no more_   
_We both found what we were looking for_   
_With my friend to call my own I'll never be alone_   
_And you my friend will see, you've got a friend in me_

_You've got a friend in me._

He had Kurt, he would always have Kurt, and no matter who else turned him away, Blaine would never be alone. But as Rachel and Finn joined in, Burt's words returned fresh in his mind. He had more than just Kurt. The four of them were family, and though things with Rachel and Finn hadn't always gone so smoothly, he wouldn't trade them for the world.

_Ben, you're always running here and there_  
You feel you're not wanted anywhere  
If you ever look behind and don't like what you find  
There's something you should know, you've got a place to go

He had run his whole life, never wanted, always searching. He thought he had found a home at Dalton, the place where he was safe and belonged, and that it always would be, even after he left. Sebastian destroyed that for him, taking his friends in the process. It broke his heart to lose them, but he would be alright. He had Rachel, Finn, Santana and of course Kurt, loving him and fighting for him. He had a family again.

_You've got a place to go.  
_

He glanced at Kurt, but tears threatened to flow and he had to look away. He focused on Finn as he sang.

_Ben, most people would turn you away_   
_I don't listen to a word they say_   
_They don't see you as I do I wish they would try to_   
_I'm sure they'd think again if they had a friend like Ben_   
_Like Ben, like Ben_

Blaine choked back his tears, forcing from his mind the thoughts of the three of them leaving him behind. He had them now, and until they walked away, he wasn't letting go.

* * *

Kurt had rushed over to Blaine's immediately after their performance of "Black Or White." He was excited to tell him that the Warblers had turned on Sebastian, but was taken aback when Blaine had little to say about it. The faraway look returned and Blaine only asked to watch a movie. Kurt quietly agreed, picking from the few that Finn had brought over.

The two were sitting on Blaine's bed watching "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" on the DVD player his mother had allowed him to bring into his room "just this once." His surgery had been done the day before and Burt had agreed to let Kurt stay the night tonight. Blaine's eye was painful when he woke this morning, but drooling over Jude Law while snuggling with his boyfriend was helping.

Blaine had been having a steady stream of visitors since the slushie attack, and it warmed his heart to know how much the members of New Directions, and of course Burt, cared about him. None of the Warblers had called or come to visit. Kurt tried to make him see it was out of guilt, especially after they slushied Santana, but Blaine didn't believe him.

His face lit up with anticipation as there was a knock on the door and Kurt paused the movie as Blaine yelled, "Come in!" But his face immediately dropped and tension flew into the room like a hurricane as Nick walked in and closed the door quietly behind him. Nick immediately recognized Blaine's hostility and while he hated it, he understood he deserved it. "Your mom let me in," Nick said apprehensively.

Kurt swung his legs off the bed and stood up. "I'll give you guys a few minutes alone," he said trying to leave, but Blaine grabbed his hand.

"No," Blaine said sharply, not taking his eyes off of the boy in the Dalton uniform, the boy that until a week ago he'd called his best friend. Nick had given him the strength to stop running away from Kurt, to tell the truth, and to face his father. Sebastian meant nothing to him, it was Nick's betrayal that broke his heart. His hand shook in Kurt's and he let go to try to steady it. "This is as much about you as it is me, Kurt. Their plan was for you to be in this bed, not me." Kurt nodded softly and took a seat in the armchair next to Blaine's bed.

Nick shook his head. "That wasn't the plan Blaine, no one was supposed to get hurt. We didn't know about the rock salt, that was all Sebastian. None of us would ever have agreed to this."

"But you agreed to that?" Blaine's agitation only grew as his heart constricted and unshed tears burned his injured eye, making him wince in pain. Kurt gripped the sides of the chair. Blaine's anger at Nick had been building , especially after he heard about Santana's slushie. As much as he wanted to calm him down so he didn't hurt himself further, Kurt knew he had to let Blaine get this out.

"Then tell me something, Nick," Blaine continued furiously. "What exactly was the plan? And why the hell were you, of all people, the one to hand the slushie off to Sebastian?"

Nick's gaze fell to the floor, as shame sent flames to his cheeks and his eyes watered with remorse. "It was just supposed to be a joke. Sebastian told us to expect you guys to fight dirty, McKinley style. We'd spent enough time with Kurt to know what that meant. Some of us didn't want to do it. But…" he rubbed his hands together in worry.

"But what Nick?" Blaine demanded not even caring at this point if Nick was one of those guys.

Nick thought twice about telling Blaine. Seeing Blaine in bed, with the patch over his eye, made all his reasons seem insignificant. He knew he had been weak and wrong, but at the time it was why he did what he was told, and he felt Blaine deserved an explanation, even a feeble one. "Sebastian's father has a lot of pull at Dalton and with the Warblers now. Sebastian pulled us aside; Trent, Beatbox, Jeff and me, and told us that he'd make sure we never sang again if we didn't show that we were more loyal to him than to you." Nick looked at Blaine, teeming with guilt, but trying to make him understand. "You did anything to stay with the Warblers Blaine…" he said quietly.

Blaine's face instantly flushed with anger. "The things I did to stay with the Warblers hurt no one but me, Nick. I would never have done anything to hurt you or Jeff or someone any of you cared about. You may not have thrown the slushie Nick, but you may as well have."

"If I had known that you were going to get hurt, I never…"

"But humiliating Kurt and Santana would be ok?" Blaine was incredulous. "My boyfriend and my best friend!"

"Since when is Santana your best friend?" Nick snapped, his eyes shooting up fiercely to meet Blaine's.

"I need friends in New Directions Nick, since apparently Sebastian's new motto is  _Leave the Warblers, Never a Warbler_!" Blaine shouted back.

"Blaine," hummed a soothing voice next to him, taking him out of the red haze that was forming in front of his face. Kurt took his hand to calm him and Blaine finally looked away from Nick and took a deep breath.

The room was silent for a few minutes, no one knowing what to say. Blaine's anger came from love, not hate and he and Nick were both heartbroken at the turn of events. Kurt ached that Blaine had to suffer another betrayal of trust and wondered how many times and how many people he could forgive before he gave up. He hoped desperately that he had patience for one more. Nick had been too important to him to lose.

As if reading his mind, Blaine turned to Nick. "Kurt told me you all stood up to him."

Nick stood with his hands in the pockets of his uniform. "Trent did yes. He had the courage. We all just followed his lead. We should have done it sooner," Nick answered.

"Yes, you should have," Blaine agreed.

"I am so sorry, Blaine. I'd take it all back if I could. We all would." Nick did not know what else he could say. He regretted his actions, his childish decisions, more than anything in his life, but he knew that words couldn't make it better.

"I better be going," Nick said, motioning toward the door. "Can we come see you in a few days? Beatz, Jeff, Trent and I? I know they feel awful and want to apologize too."

Blaine studied his blanket. They had all been through too much together. Nick had been too important to him to let one mistake come between their friendship. It wasn't that long ago that he had gone to Nick to talk about forgiveness. He had done it once, he could do it again. After all, he had fallen victim to Sebastian's manipulations too. And Kurt had forgiven him.

"Yeah," Blaine answered. "I think I would like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blaine and Nick and the rest of the Warblers still have a long way to go before they get back what was lost, but I have hope.
> 
> Next week, what happens when Kurt develops a crush on Ricky Martin? And you have no idea how much I am looking forward to the FURT conversation!


	16. Spanish Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up combining "The Spanish Teacher" and "Heart", and I think it worked out great, because these two episodes worked so well to combine into one chapter. I'm pretty happy with it. I hope you like it too!
> 
> In the author's note at the end, I will lament what BIG BROTHER is likely to do for this story, but for now let me squeal that Glee cast my #2 man, Matt Bomer to be with my #1 man, Darren Criss. I can't even be mad at them. But I digress.
> 
> I don't own Glee. If I did, we would have known about Cooper Anderson's existence a long time ago. But there are some words in this fic that belong to Glee. You know which they are.

"So what am I missing in Glee this week?" Blaine said with a frown. He was miserable sitting at home all day. Miserable and antsy. Sitting still was never his strongest ability, but the doctor told him he couldn't be bouncing around for at least two weeks after the surgery. It was promising to be the longest two weeks of his life.

The steady stream of visitors helped. Kurt had been there day and night nursing him back to health until both of their parents put a stop to it. Kurt pouted but Blaine sent him off to Rachel and Mercedes for the night for some good, quality girl talk. And now here he was, in the living room of his apartment curled up on the couch, with his own quality girl team; Santana, Brittany and Quinn.

"What you are missing, Boyfriend," Santana said in her usual bitchy tone, "is that while you're sitting in your house watching soap operas and drowning your sorrows in popcorn and chips..." Blaine grabbed his popcorn protectively as she reached in. "Your boy toy is at school showering his affections on another man. A very hot, very manly, man."

"I don't think Kurt is a toy," Brittany piped up, before Blaine could drill Santana for answers. "I think he's more of a doll. Like one of those little fragile baby dolls you put up on a shelf."

"That's why he's called Porcelain," Quinn explained patiently to Brittany. She turned to Santana. "And you, stop torturing the poor guy, he's recovering from surgery for goodness sake." Quinn took Blaine's hand and patted it. "Mr. Schuester brought in a friend of his, a Spanish teacher from night school. And he, umm," she paused trying to find the right words to keep Blaine's heartbeat steady. "He sang for us in Spanish."

"No, blondie, he had  _sex_  for us," Santana recounted. "Hot dance floor sex in the middle of the choir room, complete with full body gyrations, bumping , grinding, and chair dancing. And I am sure you can imagine," she baited Blaine, "the look of pure lust on Hummel's face as his cheeks flushed and his eyes latched on to the man's amazingly fine body, never straying for one single solitary second."

"Yes they did, Santana," Britt chimed. "I'm pretty sure Kurt couldn't see him when he flung himself upside down on the chair with his legs straight up in the air." Blaine startled at the image, his own cheeks blushing. Santana took her girlfriend's hand lovingly and kissed her on the cheek. Quinn just laughed.

"Ok, enough guys," Blaine huffed. He took a deep breath. "Look, I know that Kurt can very much appreciate another man and that's totally fine. " He thought back to Taylor Lautner in the field of lilacs and smiled. He had no issues with Kurt flirting or allowing himself to feel sexy every once in a while, in fact he rather enjoyed it. The only problem this time was that he wasn't around to see it. "All it means is that I need to figure out some amazing way to spend Valentine's Day with him even though I'm stuck in this godforsaken apartment."

"Maybe the doctors will let you out early," Quinn offered. "If not, we'll definitely help you figure out something. Right girls?"

Brittany smiled, hugging him. "Definitely Blaine. I want to see my dolphins happy on Valentine's Day."

A knock on the front door interrupted their planning. Blaine glanced at Quinn. "Would you mind getting that for me?"

Quinn walked to the front door, swiping a bag of chips from the kitchen table on the way over and opened the door with a smile that quickly faded. Though the boys had thought things through enough to change from their Dalton Blazers to their street clothes, Quinn had met them often enough to recognize them out of uniform. "What do you guys want?" Quinn asked, her voice deep with concern.

It didn't help that Jeff and Nick were positively speechless that Quinn Fabray had opened the door, nor that Santana and Brittany were quickly approaching when they heard Quinn's icy tone. Trent took a quick look at his friends, who were standing either enthralled with Quinn or fascinated by the cheerleaders drawing near to them and rolled his eyes. "We're here to see Blaine," he explained sassily. "We were invited."

Blaine came up slowly behind his bodyguards. "It's okay ladies, Trent is right. I did invite them over. Why don't you three go do your Spanish homework or something," Blaine said winking.

"Oh don't you worry Boyfriend, I have a killer of a presentation planned!" Santana kissed him on the cheek then laced her fingers with Brittany's.

"Bye Blaine," Brittany called after her as Santana pushed through the Warblers in warning, into the hall.

"Be well, Blaine," Quinn said quietly as she returned the chips to the table, stepping aside to allow the boys to enter the room. She stared them down a second before stepping out of the apartment and closing the door behind her.

Blaine crossed his arms across his chest and chuckled as he watched Jeff and Nick stare after her. "You know that neither one of you stand a chance with her. You're too young. She's headed off to Yale in the fall. And you two will still be at Dalton trying to figure out how to ask out a girl."

"Wait a second, we're the same age difference as you and Kurt," Jeff protested.

"Yes, but I know how to ask out a boy," Blaine said haughtily. "And keep him," he winked at Trent, who blushed only slightly. "Come on in guys," he said bringing them into the living room that he and the girls just vacated.

"I'm sorry, the girls ate most of the food. I thought it was bad at Dalton, but get a bunch of girls together and they scarf down everything too."

"I still can't believe Quinn Fabray was in your damn house," Jeff was muttering, shaking his head.

"Down boy," Blaine said. "Any slim chance you may have had with her probably went out the window when you slushied two of her best friends."

The room suddenly became uncomfortably quiet, as they all remembered why they were here.

"Look, Blaine," Beatz spoke up for the first time. "I for one am really sorry. And I know the other guys are too." Nick, Jeff and Trent all nodded. "We let Sebastian talk us into something we knew was wrong. And the worst part is we did it to two of our brothers. Which was quite intentional on Sebastian's part, and while he didn't tell us that specifically, we knew."

"You really shouldn't be mad at Jeff or Trent, Blaine," Nick said. "Jeff never did anything with the slushie, even told us not to do it. And Trent, well, he was amazing going up on that stage with New Directions."

"Kurt did tell me about that. Thank you Trent. And Jeff." Blaine looked away for a minute. He'd done a lot of thinking in the last few days. He was angry and hurt, but did not in any way want to allow Sebastian the satisfaction of driving a wedge between him and his boyfriend, or him and his brothers. He was done with Sebastian and his drama. New Directions would beat the Warblers at Regionals, then they could all go back to being friends without the competition and Sebastian would have no more power over any of them. Blaine looked at Nick primarily, the one friend that he had trusted with his deepest, darkest secrets. "I'm not going to let Sebastian steal any of you from me," he promised. "You mean too much to me."

Trent was the first to run into Blaine's arms, but Nick, Jeff and Beatz followed, with perhaps a little more decorum. "Once a Warbler, Always a Warbler," Nick said, putting his hand into the center of a circle. The others joined in. "Brothers Forever!" they laughed.

* * *

"Hey," Blaine said smoothly into the phone. "I love hearing your voice but when are you coming by next. I miss you."

"If you're finally missing me, then as soon as our parents say it's ok. Seems to me that you were the one that kicked me to the curb," Kurt frowned into the phone.

"I kicked you to Rachel's house for the weekend, Kurt, there's a big difference. I can't keep you trapped in this apartment with me all the time. How was it by the way?" Blaine heard nothing but silence on the other end of the phone. "Kurt? Everything okay?"

"How do I know when a secret is too important not to tell?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Oh Kurt," Blaine sighed.

"I mean, I know we've talked about this before. Everything with you over the summer, then Santana this year, I promised I wouldn't do it again, but now," he took a deep breath. He didn't think Blaine would like what he was planning. "I think that I have to."

Blaine thought before responding. Kurt had grown, a lot, in the last year. Maybe this time his instincts were right. "How did you find out about this secret?" Blaine pondered.

"Rachel told me," Kurt said before clapping his hand over his mouth. "Damnit. People shouldn't tell me secrets Blaine!" he shrilled. "Then I went to Finn to talk to him, but he wasn't listening to reason either and so I think I need to talk to Dad. What do you think Blaine?"

"I think," he paused. "I think I can't make this decision for you. I think your Dad is the smartest man I know, so you have to do what you think is right."

"Yeah. Well, I better do it now while Finn is out. Talk to you later?" Kurt asked hopefully.

"Of course," Blaine exhaled. "I love you."

"Love you too," Kurt sighed and hung up the phone.

Kurt inhaled deeply and went downstairs. He found his Dad watching some old war movie on television in the living room. Carole was nowhere to be seen. He shoved his hands in the back pocket of his jeans and rocked back and forth on his heels awkwardly. When his father didn't say anything, he cleared his throat quietly.

"If you want to talk about something, Kurt, all you need to do is say so. No need to tiptoe." Burt said, glancing at his son out of the corner of his eye.

"Can we, um, maybe go somewhere else?" Kurt asked. "Like, for a drive?"

That caught Burt's ear and he shut off the television and turned to Kurt. "Is this something serious, Kurt?" he asked concerned.

"Yes," he said tilting his head with anxiety, "But not for me. Or Blaine," he added when his father's brow furrowed even tighter. "I just want to make sure no one else is listening, okay?"

"Sure. Of course, son. Let me just get my keys."

The two packed up for a ride around Lima, something they hadn't done since Kurt was very little and used to try to hide his feelings everywhere but in the car. Burt put the radio on softly, giving control to Kurt so he could talk whenever he was ready. But it didn't take long. Kurt had been keeping this secret for a couple of days by then and he was about ready to burst.

"Dad, do you think that if someone feels they need to keep something they've done a secret from everyone they love, that maybe they shouldn't have done it in the first place?" Kurt asked.

Burt shot him a quick look before returning his eyes to the road. "I think that when someone is proud of what they've done they want to share it. And when they think there's probably something wrong with what they've done, they hide it." He hesitated for a minute then asked for reassurance, "You said this wasn't about you or Blaine?"

"No," Kurt responded quickly. "No, it's not. It's something Rachel told me. And then I talked to Finn about it, but neither of them listened to reason and I think they're making a huge mistake…"

"Is Rachel pregnant?" Burt asked suddenly, trying not to race off the road.

"No! God no, Dad, I wouldn't tell you that while you're driving, please." Kurt grabbed his father's hand. "Is your heart ok? I didn't mean to scare you like that."

Burt shook his head. "Sometimes you have no idea how glad I am I don't have to worry about that with you and Blaine," Kurt's father admitted.

"Yeah, you just worry about other stuff with us, I know." Kurt shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Can we get back to Finn and Rachel?" he pleaded.

Burt chuckled. "Sure. So what did those two knuckleheads do?"

"Finn proposed," Kurt said, staring out the window. He felt a bit like he was betraying his brother and his best friend, but on the other hand, someone needed the adults to talk some sense into them. "And Rachel said yes."

"Proposed like what, marriage?" Burt asked a bit dumbfounded.

"No, he proposed they go climb trees together in Central Park," he answered sarcastically. "Yes Dad, he proposed marriage and she, for some reason I will never understand, said yes."

"Really Kurt? You don't understand? And what if Blaine asked you to marry him?" Burt's eyebrows arched, but he was surprisingly composed.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Kurt screeched. He turned to his father, who continued to wait for an answer. "Fine," he said slowly. "I would tell him, and I  _have_  told him I would like to point out, that someday, when we have both graduated college and we both seem to be well on our way to fulfilling our career dreams, that I would love to marry him."

"And until then, you're going to live in sin," Burt said with a chuckle.

"Day in and day out with Blaine is living in sin," he muttered under his breath, before realizing what he said and buried his bright red face in his hands. "Oh my god I cannot believe I just said that to you. That's not what I meant. I just meant, people think, I mean…" he stuttered.

"I know what you meant Kurt," Burt laughed, patting his son on the knee. "And don't worry about Finn and Rachel. Lots of kids in Lima make that mistake, I'm not going to let them do it too. And neither are Rachel's parents. We'll handle it, ok?"

"Ok, Dad. Thank you," Kurt breathed a sigh of relief.

"Anytime, Kurt," Burt answered honestly. "Anytime."

* * *

He heard only his mother's shout of "Blaine, Santana's…" before the firecracker of his best friend came bursting through his door, slamming it shut behind her.

Pointing at him with one hand, the other firmly on her hip, she yelled. "If you were not already laid up in that bed with a patch over your eye, I swear to god I would punch you myself."

"What the hell did I do?" Blaine's confusion fought for dominance over his fear that the girl would make good on her promise, eyepatch or not. "I haven't been out of my house for more than a week!"

"It's not what you  _did_ , Boyfriend, it's what you  _didn't_ do. Britt and I just got reamed out today by Figgins for giving each other a freakin' peck in the hallway. A  _peck_ , Blaine. And do you know why that is?"

Both of her hands were on her hips now and she was coming dangerously close to him with nowhere for him to escape, yet he found himself backing up on his pillows as much as possible. He couldn't begin to imagine how this was his fault, but before he could even ask, she continued her rant.

"I'll tell you why that is. It's because you and Hummel have been too terrified or prudish to set the precedent for us. That's right, boyfriend, this is entirely your fault. If you and Kurt would have just gotten it on in the hallways like you two do everywhere else we all get to see, than you two would have already dealt with this crap, and Brittany and I would be able to give each other a peck on the lips in our own damn school. That's what you wanted, wasn't it? To be our little gay mentors? You guys pave the way so Britt and I just get to follow happily behind? Well it's not working, Blaine. And it's not like we're sticking our tongues down each other's throats like Rachel and Finn."

"Santana," Blaine said quietly, and she finally stopped talking long enough to cross her arms and tap her foot in anticipation of his reply. "You're not being fair. Kurt may be, flamboyant at times…"

"Understatement!" interrupted Santana.

"But unlike you and Brittany," Blaine continued calmly, "he's very private about his affections. And I'm ok with that. Kurt and I have both been hurt for being who we are. And maybe it's cowardly on our part, I don't know." He shook his head with a frown. "But that's why we don't do it. We know we love each other, we don't need to prove it to anyone and risk getting hurt more. Though it seems now," he said sarcastically, looking at her fists, "I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't."

Santana paced back and forth for a minute more until her anger slowly winded down. She sat gently on his bed.

"Well, I'm not going down without a fight, Blaine. You and Kurt can make your own decisions…"

"Gee, thanks 'Tana," he aquiesced.

"But I'm not going to let ignorant religious fanatics get in my way of loving my girlfriend, whether that be in public or private," she vowed.

Blaine's eyes filled with pride. "Good for you, Santana," Blaine said holding a hand out as a peace offering. She looked at it for a moment, then took it with a smile. He pulled her in and she cuddled up with him on the bed. "Now, tell me your plan for this revolution. Maybe I can convince Kurt to join in," he said with a mischievous grin.

* * *

"Are you sure you can't go to Sugar's party?" Kurt asked Blaine the night before as they got ready for bed.

"Yes, I'm sure Kurt. I wish I could, but I have my follow-up appointment tomorrow and last I saw him he was pretty insistent I wouldn't be able to 'resume normal activities' until the weekend." Blaine answered.

Kurt turned around at his vanity. He stared at the valentines that he just  _knew_  Blaine had sent him. He didn't believe Blaine for one minute. This was all some crazy ploy his boyfriend had to surprise him on Valentine's Day, he was certain. After all, it was their first Valentine's Day together as a couple and there was no way that Blaine was going to let him spend it alone. Right? The week in Glee had been bad enough.

"I'm so sorry Kurt," Blaine said earnestly at Kurt's silence. "You know I'd be there if I could. And I don't want you staying home for me, okay? I want you to go and have fun and know that I am here thinking about you."

If Kurt thought that Blaine was being honest, he would say no in a heartbeat. He would be at Blaine's bedside with roses and gourmet takeout and chocolate covered strawberries to nibble off of his chest. But Kurt didn't believe him, not for one minute. Those Valentines were from Blaine and he had no doubt that he would be spending his Valentine's Day at the Sugar Shack with his boyfriend.

"Fine Blaine, have it your way, but you had better be thinking about me," he cautioned, "Because I'm going to be at the party with Sugar's rich society friends, and if you're not careful, someone else might just snatch me up."

* * *

"Jeff and Nick are planning a special Warbler Valentines dinner tonight. I think we all know why!" Trent said, winking.

"Trent, we talked about this, no more announcing the dreams you have at night," Jeff retorted.

"Gentlemen, we're here to make Blaine feel better and not so alone on Valentine's Day, not to fight about Trent's delusions of our sexuality," Nick admonished, searching through the movies Blaine had in the shelves by the television.

"He just wants a gay club of four," Blaine teased. "Without Sebastian being a part of it," he added under his breath.

"No talk of the puppetmaster," Nick warned. "Remember?"

"Well, I'm sorry guys," Blaine announced, standing up. "I know you came all this way, but I'm going to have to bail on you tonight. I have had a change of plans and a much better offer." Blaine's twinkle in his eyes gave him away.

"The only better offer that comes with that look, Blaine Anderson, is one from your hottie boyfriend, Kurt, and I thought he was at a party shaking it up with high society tonight?" Trent eyed him knowingly.

"Mmm…well, it's not precisely from him, it's more for him." Blaine spoke secretively. "Since I got the all clear from the doctor just this afternoon, I decided to pay him a little surprise visit. But I need you guys to help me!"

"What do you need?" Nick asked.

"Mainly? I need a heart eye-patch and a ride."

* * *

Kurt entered Breadstix holding his extra special valentine, and searched around for Blaine. He was positive his boyfriend was there, there was no other explanation for his insistence that Kurt go to the party. He grew concerned when he didn't see Blaine right away, but when the gorilla approached, he nearly jumped out of his skin with happiness.

"I knew it!" he said and reached for the candies as the gorilla shrugged.

"Dear Kurt, Happy Valentine's Day. I think I love you." Kurt frowned with confusion. That wasn't like Blaine at all. "Wait, you think you love me?"

And his beating heart that thumped wildly in anticipation of a mess of curls and puppy dog eyes, nearly stopped as the mask was pulled off and the face of his biggest tormentor was revealed instead.

"Karofsky."

* * *

He fiddled with the box of chocolates, his fingers playing with the paper, because what else was he supposed to do? His fingertips should be brushing against the skin of the boy he loved right now, not occupying themselves so he didn't show just how much they were shaking with emotions he couldn't even describe.

"So you tormented me, shoved me into lockers, called me horrible names, and..." He could barely even say it. "...hate-kissed me, now after one conversation in a bar you want us to be together?" Kurt tried desperately to understand, because that is what he did, that is what the Hummel men did.

And David's words, he understood. He understood hating himself. He understood acting out because of it. He had done it. Blaine had done it. But as David said, Kurt and the man he loved had always done it proudly. David had been a coward. While Kurt fought back with words and dress, David fought back with violence. While Blaine ran away from those he loved, David exploded, without care for who he brought down in the process.

People changed. They all had changed. Kurt had matured, Blaine had stopped running, and David was learning to accept himself. But one thing would never change. Kurt loved Blaine and the torture he had suffered at David's hands could be forgiven, but not forgotten. David took his hand, and Kurt just stared at it. For a moment time stopped. And for a moment he truly understood what Blaine must feel like during every encounter with his father. He pulled it away, his mind returning to what David was saying.

"David you just think that you love me, you don't really love me." He couldn't really love him. Kurt knew what true love was. "David, look, I am so proud of you for coming so far. And I want you to be happy, and you will be happy, but I'm with Blaine." He  _loved_  Blaine. And the things he felt about David weren't things he would get over in a year or with two quick conversations, even with a profession of love. But he did his best to be the man that Blaine was, the man that his own father would want him to be, and as he did at the club, he worked toward reconciliation. "And I like you." It was harder than he thought it would be to say, but it was true that he could like the person Karofsky was becoming. "But just as friends."

The look on David's face as he got up was heartbreaking though, and Kurt knew how much pain he had caused. He also knew what someone could do with that sort of pain. "No, you don't have to go," Kurt called with concern. And on the way out when someone who must go to David's new school confronted them, Kurt worried even more as David stormed out of the restaurant.

Kurt found a rounded booth, close to the stage, and waited for Sugar and his friends to show up. He pulled out his cell phone and called Blaine, but there was no answer. He called the house phone and Mrs. Anderson told him that Blaine had a tough day at the doctors and was sleeping. Kurt's heart sunk even further. He had been wrong. Blaine wasn't planning anything and now he would definitely be celebrating Valentine's Day alone. Rachel and Finn were at her house, their parents carrying out some plan that Kurt could only hope was an effort to call off the wedding. Mercedes was depressed and confused about her breakup with Shane and her undeniable feelings for Sam. Despite the fact that he was madly in love with an amazing boyfriend, he would once again be lonely and depressed on Valentine's Day.

He was mildly brought out of his depression when the so-called "God Squad" declared that love is love and sang to Brittany and Santana. Santana hadn't stopped ranting and raving the whole afternoon after Figgins had spoken to her about their kiss, and while Kurt didn't blame the girl, it was something he could have told Santana years ago. The double standard at McKinley High School was not going to go away because of one song from a Christian student group, at a private party. It was pervasive and lasting, and would take years beyond their reign at McKinley. But maybe at least, he thought for a moment, the four of them could make some progress for the future. He watched Brittany and Santana dance, then kiss, openly and without fear, and he smiled, proud that Blaine had helped them come so far. He looked back at David's box on his table and wondered if maybe he could have done more.

He stared at his empty table full of heart cookies, lollipops and valentines, and he missed Blaine horribly. He considered getting up and leaving when Finn and Rachel walked through the door and joined him at his table. Then Sugar climbed back on stage.

"Okay everyone, it's time for my extra special guest," Sugar announced, glancing at Kurt. "Back from the dead and cute and compact as ever!"

"Happy Valentine's Day everybody." Kurt heard a familiar voice from across the room, and for a moment he thought his eyes were deceiving him. And then suddenly a million emotions crashed into him at once, as he realized that Blaine was in fact here and he wasn't alone, and damn he was wearing the sexiest jeans and jacket and hat.

"This is for all the lovers in the room!" Blaine crooned.

"Love Shack" started playing and nothing but pure bliss crossed Kurt's mind as he watched Blaine sing. When Blaine's face lit up, truly seeing him with both eyes for the first time in a long time, Kurt's heart skipped a beat. As Blaine looked at him so longingly and grabbed his tie, pulling him on stage, he fought to keep the blood flow where it belonged so he could still sing, though with Blaine's arm around him it was difficult. He dropped his head on Blaine's shoulder briefly with unspoken promises of later, but there was plenty of time for those other thoughts. For now, Blaine had a congo line to run and he had a song to sing about love.

* * *

"Blaine Anderson, I cannot believe you had your mother lie to me," Kurt rebuked him playfully. "How long have you known you were coming tonight?" They sat in the booth together as Finn and Rachel sang another classic love song to the crowd.

"The girls told me about the party when Sugar announced it and they helped me arrange it. Of course, we didn't know until today for sure that I would definitely be able to come, but I begged and begged the doctor and after he checked my eye, he said because I was so young that I'd healed faster than usual." Blaine reached his arm around Kurt's waist and pulled him close. "Then he cleared me to spend Valentine's day with my ridiculously," he kissed Kurt's neck. "sexy," he kissed Kurt's lips, "boyfriend."

"Mmmm…." He moaned, kissing Blaine back. "And I am so glad that he did, because I was just about to get up to go drown myself in a tub of ice cream in my pajamas at home. This is much better," he smiled, snuggling closely. "How did you get here? I'm certain you're still not supposed to be driving at night."

"The Warblers," he answered nonchalantly, and Kurt was pleased that they had made up. Blaine plucked a chocolate heart lollipop from the center of the table and held it out to Kurt. "I know it's a little bit late, but will you be my Valentine?" Blaine asked with a grin.

Kurt let out a sigh of relief that he had not recognized he had been holding in. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you to ask," he breathed, as he took one seductive bite from the lollipop.

"We're staying at Sugar's tonight," Blaine announced quickly, unable to take his lust-blown eyes off of Kurt. Kurt laughed as he watched Blaine nearly melt to the floor.

Blaine looked around the rest of the table for more of Sugar's goodies to tempt Kurt with. His eyes fell on a heart-shaped box of candies and before Kurt could realize, Blaine was picking it up.

"Dear Kurt, Happy Valentine's Day. I think I love you," Blaine read, bewildered. He held it up for Kurt to see. "What's this?" he demanded.

Kurt's shoulders fell. "Don't be mad, Blaine."

Blaine took Kurt's hand and held it tightly. "I'm not mad, Kurt, just confused. I know it's only been two weeks but I feel like I've been gone forever, and now you have chocolates from someone else declaring their love for you. What's going on?"

Kurt had planned on telling him, he had always planned on telling him, but not here and now. Still, there was no time like the present. Kurt looked at him and Blaine saw soft and loving eyes. There was no guilt or shame and that eased Blaine's fears, but he knew that there was still something serious behind those gifts.

Kurt took a deep breath and started. "Blaine, there's something I need to tell you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note from back in 2012:
> 
> As for the introduction of Cooper Anderson. It is extremely likely that this episode will blow my backstory into alternate universe world. I am sad about this, but I have little faith that RIB and I think the same way. SO…what do you want to see? The story continue as is to the best of my ability shifting into AU land? Morphing this story with canon as best as possible depending on what they do? Or ending the story?
> 
> In the end, their backstory will dictate what happens, but I am curious as to your thoughts.
> 
> Author's Note 2015: My faith in RIB and I thinking the same way grew exponentially throughout the remainder of this show. I apologize for my lack of faith.


	17. On My Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On My Way brought up a lot of feelings for a lot of people, so be cautious as you read. This chapter is really long and angst filled so I won't bore you with other words. This chapter picks up exactly where last chapter left off, at the Sugar Shack. It's one of my favorite chapters I've ever written.
> 
> Warnings for talk of suicide and self-harm and Blaine's dad.
> 
> I don't own Glee or any of the songs or dialogue used in Glee. I also don't own the Warbler dialogue tweeted by Riker, Curt and Dom used during the Regionals scene.

" _Dear Kurt, Happy Valentine's Day. I think I love you," Blaine read, bewildered. He held it up for Kurt to see. "What's this?" he demanded._

_Kurt's shoulders fell. "Don't be mad, Blaine."_

_Blaine took Kurt's hand and held it tightly. "I'm not mad, Kurt, just confused. I know it's only been two weeks but I feel like I've been gone forever, and now you have chocolates from someone else declaring their love for you. What's going on?"_

_Kurt took a deep breath and started. "Blaine, there's something I need to tell you."_

"Wait, stop," Blaine said. Kurt looked at him surprised. Blaine looked down and shook his head. The music continued to play around them at the Sugar Shack and he smiled at Santana and Brittany dancing together lovingly. He looked back at Kurt. "I don't want to know. I mean, I do want to know, but not right now. You and I haven't been alone together for two weeks, and I haven't seen you, really seen you, in all that time, and you look," he sucked in a breath and took in the full sight of Kurt. He had been scared for a while that he might never be able to see him like that again. "You look absolutely stunning. And tonight I have arranged a room to ourselves at Sugar's mansion, and I highly suspect that whatever you have to say is going to throw a big damper into all the plans I have." He lifted their hands and intertwined their fingers, brushing his thumb against Kurt's hand, just the way he knew drove his boyfriend wild. Blaine smiled slyly. "And I promise you, Kurt, I do have plans. So unless this is something that I really need to know now, I'd be just as happy waiting until tomorrow."

Kurt glanced at the chocolate hearts from Karofsky, then back at Blaine. Blaine was right. Telling him would ruin the evening. He did need to tell him, but it didn't need to be tonight. And the way Blaine's fingertip were teasing his own, he wasn't sure he could speak anyway. Instead, Kurt leaned in and kissed him softly, smiling against Blaine's lips and sucking the bottom one in to taste. When he pulled away, Blaine was smiling as well. Kurt traced Blaine's lips with his finger. "I don't want to do anything to ruin that smile tonight," Kurt whispered.

"Then shut up and kiss me again," Blaine grinned.

* * *

They put off the inevitable as long as they could. They had spent the night and most of the morning in bed making up for lost time. Then they played the day away in Sugar's bowling alley, movie theater, and indoor Jacuzzi, Kurt constantly concerned that Blaine was overdoing it. But the sun was going down, Kurt needed to drive Blaine back to his apartment and get back home himself. They couldn't put it off forever. Packing to leave, Blaine picked up the box of chocolates Kurt had left out, and raised an eyebrow.

Kurt sighed, and took it from him. His smile erased from his face, he sat down in a pink flowered armchair and fiddled with it as he looked up at Blaine.

"Karofsky," Kurt said quietly as if it explained everything. "He was sending me Valentine's all week. I didn't say anything because I thought they were surprises from you. It's the only reason I agreed to go to the party, but he met me before it started. And he gave me these," he finished, looking at the candies.

Blaine stared at him, unbelieving. "Let me get this straight. He torments you, steals your first kiss; which belonged to me by the way, threatens your life, leaves you on the dance floor at your prom, chats you up at Scandals, and then takes advantage of your boyfriend being injured and out of school for two weeks to hit on you and ask you out on Valentine's Day?" His rage slowly grew.

"Please don't be angry," Kurt said throwing the chocolates behind him onto the armchair and gripping Blaine's arms. He felt Blaine's biceps flex under his grasp as Blaine balled his hands into fists. "I told him no. I told him I was with you. That he and I could only be friends."

"I'm not angry with you, Kurt. I missed you and I love you and last night was wonderful," Blaine said, but Kurt didn't miss that his eyes were getting shifty. "But you were right. People like Sebastian and Karofsky and my father, they have no place in our lives. I'm sick of being the victim and you should be too. You asked me to figure things out with Sebastian. You couldn't deal with us being friends and I didn't get that then Kurt, and I'm so sorry, because I get it now. So I'm asking you the same thing. Figure this thing out with Karofsky."

"There is no  _thing_  with Karofsky," Kurt insisted. Blaine remembered Kurt walking out on him at the Lima Bean as he'd said the same thing.

Blaine tore himself away from Kurt's grip and grabbed his phone from his overnight bag. "I'll get my Mom to pick me up," he muttered.

Kurt turned sharply on his heel. "Don't you dare run away from me because of this Blaine Anderson!" Kurt yelled.

Blaine stopped and closed his eyes. Kurt was right. He was being unfair.

He sighed and turned around, reaching out a hand. Kurt stepped forward and clasped his hand reassuringly.

Blaine was silent the whole ride home, eyes staring out the window, thinking. Kurt let him be, allowing only the music of his IPod to fill the air. He pulled into Blaine's apartment complex and parked in the visitor's spot. Blaine didn't move.

"Will you meet Rachel and me at the Lima Bean tomorrow afternoon?" Kurt asked carefully. "She wants to go through wedding magazines and I don't know if I can keep my comments to myself without you."

"I don't think so Kurt," Blaine answered. He was distant, his thoughts elsewhere. "I have counseling with my father tomorrow."

Kurt squeezed his hand. "Call me after if you need me ok?" he offered, concerned.

Blaine finally turned to him. "I love you, Kurt," he said, his eyes sad and tired.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow night?" Kurt asked for reassurance. Blaine nodded and kissed him lightly. "I love you too, Blaine."

* * *

_Life's too short to even care at all_   
_I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control._   
_These fishes in the sea they're staring at me._   
_A wet world aches for a beat of a drum._   
_If I could find a way to see this straight_   
_I'd run away_   
_To some fortune that I should have found by now_

_I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down._

Blaine sat on the couch of the counselor's office, more agitated than usual. His hair was messed up from the number of times he had run his fingers through it. His legs were growing tired from the tap, tap, tap of his foot.

"How did your Dad's visit at the hospital go?" the counselor asked.

"You mean for the five minutes he wasn't implying how Sebastian attacking Kurt and me was entirely my fault?" he sneered, staring at his hands as he picked as his cuticles. "Telling me that I deserved it?"

"That's not what I meant Blaine, and you know it," his father yelled as he stood pacing the floor. Blaine had been snapping at him for a half hour, and he was growing increasingly tired of the attitude.

"That's what you always think! But you know what?" Blaine yelled back, standing up. His pupils dilated with anger and the veins in his neck popped out. "I'm done with this. I didn't deserve any of it! I didn't deserve almost losing an eye, I don't deserve my boyfriend's tormentor sending him Valentines while I'm lying half-blind in my room, and I don't deserve my boyfriend's brother and best friend rushing to get married when Kurt and I don't even have the damn right to even consider the idea. I didn't deserve being beaten by bullies after the Sadie Hawkins dance, and I certainly didn't deserve what you did to me when I finally came home. For that matter, I didn't deserve it any time you hit me." Colonel Anderson began to protest but Blaine stopped him cold. "Keep your comments to yourself Dad, because more than anything else, I didn't deserve having a father like you!"

Blaine grabbed his coat and stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

_Life's too short to even care at all._   
_I'm coming up now, coming up now out of the blue_   
_These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart._   
_A dark world aches for a splash in the sun._   
_If I could find a way to see this straight_   
_I'd run away_   
_To some fortune that I should have found by now_

Kurt told Blaine about Sebastian's latest attempts at blackmail during their phone call the night before and Blaine had been furious. Mike, who shared many classes with Blaine, could sense his tension all day. His usually laid back and fun friend was clearly on edge, tapping his pencil incessantly on the desk, snapping at teachers, and attacking the punching bag in the locker room during weight training. Blaine met Kurt in the chorus room before Glee and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Did you and Rachel at least have fun looking at wedding magazines?" he asked. Kurt scowled and rolled his eyes.

Mike waltzed into the choir room with Sugar and grabbed Blaine immediately before class had officially started. He steered him by the shoulders and guided him to the piano. Blaine couldn't help but laugh. "Sit. Play. Cheer up." Mike ordered. Kurt, Sugar and Mike gathered around the piano, jamming to Katy Perry, Pink and everything else Blaine decided to play as the rest of their classmates started filing in.

_And so I run now to the things they said could restore me_   
_Restore life the way it should be_   
_I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down._

Blaine heard Kurt's phone ring as he played, and Kurt turned away for a minute, but didn't answer it. Kurt turned back and looked cautiously at Blaine. Blaine glanced back and knew. Karofsky again.

_Life's too short to even care at all._   
_I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control._

Any semblance of calm that had come over him disappeared when they all finally saw the picture Sebastian had sent to Finn in Glee that day. Blaine was more than ready and willing to back up Finn as he kicked Sebastian's ass.

Mr. Schuester stopped them. "Guys, I contacted the headmaster at Dalton."

Blaine had had enough. "Like you did when Sebastian almost blinded me?" he yelled. "What did they do then? Same thing as they're gonna do now. Nothing. "

It killed him. Not only had the Warblers turned their back on him.  _Dalton_  turned its back on him. His one safe place. The only placed he felt  _home_. Abandoned him just like his father.

_If I could find a way to see this straight_   
_I'd run away_   
_To some fortune that I should have found by now_

He left Glee as soon as the bell rang. He couldn't go to class. The walls were caving in around him. So he ran away, to the auditorium, his one safe place at McKinley. He paced the stage, hands clenched, trying to remember the dreams that had come true here. The picnic in the spot tower, West Side Story, Kurt asking to make love to him for the first time. But the rest threatened to invade his thoughts no matter how hard he tried to push them away. And the song that started in his head days ago continued to run through his mind. Thoughts of running away plagued him.

Kurt came walking out onto the stage from the wings. "You okay?" Kurt asked gently. Blaine waved him off. "You seemed upset." Blaine shook his head almost imperceptibly. "You know Sebastian just needs to…?"

"Forget about Sebastian!" Blaine exploded, then softened. "I'm not mad at you; I just don't want to waste any more time on him. I want to focus on winning." He needed to focus on winning. Performing. Music. Music and Kurt. Those were the things that restored him.

_And so I run now to the things they said could restore me_   
_Restore life the way it should be_   
_I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down._   
_One more spoon of cough syrup now._   
_One more spoon of cough syrup now._

Blaine's eyes fell on Kurt's after he sang; Kurt's bright eyes, with a hint of tears. Blaine lost himself in them as he slowly walked toward the man sitting on the stool. He placed his hands on Kurt's thighs.

"That was beautiful," Kurt whispered.

Blaine kissed him in reply, letting himself soak up the love and comfort and feelings of safety that he always felt with Kurt. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck and held him tightly, their two hearts beating as one. He tried to ease all of Blaine's pain, whatever was haunting him, and he felt Blaine finally relax beneath him. Blaine pulled away first.

"I don't know what I would do without you," Blaine whispered, his eyes shining.

Kurt brushed a curl back where it belonged as he smiled at the love of his life. "Well luckily, you don't have to find out."

* * *

Principal Figgens, Coach Sylvester, Coach Bieste, Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury made the rounds to each of the classes during second period. Blaine was in junior history with Tina when Ms. Pillsbury told them Karofsky had tried to kill himself. It was as if he'd been punched in the stomach and the room started to sway. The room faded out of view and he felt a hand on his. As if in slow motion he turned to see Tina's fingers on his skin, but when he looked up, only one face flashed before his eyes. Kurt.

He jumped up stumbling, and knocked his chair over but he didn't care. He heard Tina yell his name as he left the classroom, and he thought he heard Ms. Pillsbury tell her to let him go, but it all sounded miles away as his ears rang. As the door slammed behind him, he slowed down to think.  _Where was Kurt? Second period, where was Kurt? French._

Without thinking he raced down the hallway and barely glanced in the door to the classroom before flinging it open. Mr. Schuester stood in the front of the classroom and immediately turned to Blaine in the doorway. Everyone froze, including Blaine, his eyes searching only for Kurt. He found him in the middle of the room with his eyes on the desk. Kurt had been the only one not to budge when the door opened.

"Kurt?" His voice was shaking and hushed, but the room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop and Blaine's voice would wake Kurt out of the deepest of slumbers. He turned to Blaine, surprised and yet not to see the boy standing there. He glanced to Mr. Schuester and his French teacher and both nodded. As if in a trance, Kurt eased out of his chair and gathered his books. Blaine watched Kurt pay no attention to the whispers and glances of his classmates as he made his way to the door, closing it softly behind him. Blaine expected Kurt to fall into his arms, but he didn't. He walked right past Blaine, in a daze, toward the choir room, and collapsed onto the floor of the risers, not even bothering to take a chair. Kurt never looked at him. Blaine didn't know what to do, so he just sat next to him.

* * *

Santana and Brittany were together in phys ed, when Coach Bieste and Coach Sylvester entered the gymnasium. They sent the boys and girls to the locker rooms to change early, then Coach Sylvester met with the girls and shared with them what had happened. Santana choked on her breath and Brittany grabbed her hand. Santana had spent so much time with him the end of last year, as they struggled to hide themselves in the safety of the closet, but she hadn't really spoken to him since, only occasionally checking in with him online. She heard little Coach Sylvester had to say as she reached for her phone and pulled up his Facebook account. She understood immediately. When Finn had outed her, she had the love and support of her friends. He had clearly been outed and received only hate.

"Are you ok?" Brittany whispered. "You guys were close last year."

"Yeah, I'm ok," Santana answered.

"What do you think happened?" her girlfriend asked.

If it was anyone else, she would have just handed over the phone. But she couldn't let Brittany see the hate in the world, the awful words that people called the boy Santana had taken to her junior prom.

"People didn't like who he was," she told her. "And he didn't have amazing friends to help him through it." Her friends. Blaine. She grabbed her things and pulled on Brittany's arm. "Come on. We have to find Blaine."

"Oh my god, do you think Kurt's okay?" Brittany asked.

"Wherever we find Blaine, we'll find Kurt," Santana promised.

* * *

Sebastian walked into Warblers practice, late and looking terrible. He eyes were sunken with dark circles underneath and his skin was pale. He looked like he'd barely slept at all that night. He tried to hide himself away in the corner, but little goes unnoticed by the boys of Dalton.

"What's the matter, Smythe? Long night at Scandals?" Trent teased. Everyone laughed. They knew Sebastian's evening activities, and he typically enjoyed regaling them with tales of his rendezvous at the local gay bar.

"Short night at Scandals, actually," he said with a strained voice. His eyes shifted downwards and any of Sebastian's usual spark in them was gone. The boys stopped laughing and looked nervously at one another. Nick stepped forward.

"We're here, Sebastian," Nick told him. "If you need to talk."

Sebastian shifted in his chair, fidgeting with his fingers, before running them through his hair. "There's this guy, at the bar. This kid really. He um…" Sebastian took a breath before continuing. "Word got around pretty fast. Not sure how. But, he was outed at school. Tried to kill himself."

"Oh my god," Trent blurted out, his hand flying to cover his mouth.

Nick kneeled down to Sebastian and placed a hand on his knee. "Did you know him? What's his name?"

"Um…yeah, I knew him. A bit. Talked to him a couple of times." Sebastian shook the memory away. It was too much right now. "Name's David. David Karofsky."

Nick instantly snapped to Jeff and Trent's gaze. As the realization hit, horror and concern passed over their faces. Trent said it first. "We need to call Kurt and Blaine."

* * *

Brittany and Santana walked into the choir room to find Kurt and Blaine sitting on the bottom step of the risers. Blaine was despondent, rubbing Kurt's back while Kurt stared off into the distance. Santana had expected both of them to be crying, but neither looked as if they had shed a single tear. The boys looked up as the girls walked in and Brittany immediately sat next to Kurt and took the boy in her arms. Safe in the arms of the only person in the world who wouldn't judge him for what he was feeling, he finally let the tears flow.

Hurt and confused, Blaine stood up and walked into the open arms of Santana. She guided him to the corner of the room, away from their significant others, where they spoke in hushed tones.

"He hasn't talked to me at all," Blaine told her. "Just stares."

"Give him time," Santana said, glancing over to Kurt and Brittany. "He's talking to her. Maybe he thinks you won't like what he has to say."

"But there's nothing he can say that's wrong right now," Blaine said dismissively.

"Really?" She looked at him squarely. "You said that David asked him out on Valentine's Day and Kurt of course said no. What if he feels guilty?"

"That's crazy," Blaine said, watching Kurt and Brittany whisper together. "He has to know this isn't his fault."

"Doesn't change the way he feels, Boyfriend. This is Kurt we're talking about. He feels everything. And everything revolves around him," Santana said.

"Don't talk badly about him Santana," Blaine warned. "Not now."

Santana took his hand. "I'm not," she said firmly. "That is who Kurt is, good or bad, and it's going to affect how he feels. And he probably knows that you'll tell him he's not responsible, and it's not what he wants to hear right now."

Brittany and Kurt came over, hand in hand. Kurt wiped away some tears as Brittany smiled sadly at them. "We're going to take a walk," she told them.

Kurt finally looked at Blaine and touched his fingertips to Blaine's cheek. "I love you," he mouthed without sound and Blaine captured Kurt's fingers in his hand and brought them to his lips to kiss.

"Take care of him, Britt," Blaine said, and the girl nodded as she led him out of the choir room.

Santana turned to Blaine and looked him over. "Come on," she said. "I think there's some jazz in my car with our name on it."

* * *

Brittany and Kurt walked hand in hand down the hallway to the gymnasium. The teachers had decided to continue to hold classes, while offering the gym as a safe place for students who needed a place to talk. Ms. Pillsbury and Principal Figgins were there, as was Coach Bieste who had coached David last year. It was a mix of students in the gym. Some just didn't want to go to class, but a lot of the jocks and cheerleaders were there as well. David had had some friends at McKinley.

Brittany and Kurt went outside to walk around the track. The fresh air helped Kurt clear his mind, a bit. Brittany's hand helped too. He didn't talk. He didn't want to burden Brittany with his thoughts of guilt. Sometimes they couldn't shield Brittany from the world like they all wanted to, but he could certainly not add to her distress.

"I hope you never thought about it Kurt," she said after a few minutes of walking. "It would make me sad if you hurt yourself."

"After you and I..." he trailed off and stopped. He turned to her. "Before I met Blaine, sometimes when things got really bad, I would try and look at the world through your eyes. It always made things seem just enough brighter to get through the day."

"Is that true?" she asked, her face bright and shining.

"I would never lie to you Brittany," he promised.

"Hey Brittany." They turned to see Joe, the guy who sang to her on Valentine's Day. "Kurt, right?" he asked. Kurt nodded. "Mercedes told me about you and David. I know it might be kind of weird, but we're going to be holding a meeting of the God Squad after school today to pray for David and everyone affected. You're welcome to come, if you want. You too Brittany," he said, turning to the girl.

"Thanks Joe." Kurt appreciated the invitation. "I'll think about it."  And he was surprised to realize that he meant it.

* * *

Blaine and Santana were stopped at the door to the parking lot. They couldn't leave the building without parental permission. They were steered back to the two options of class or the gym.

They went up to the spot tower in the Auditorium.

Blaine pulled his IPod and headphones out and nestled into Santana's arms as they shared the ear buds. Blaine's thoughts continued to race though and he removed the headphones.

"Did you care about him?" he asked Santana curiously. He sat up and spun around to face her. She stopped the music and set the IPod to the side. "When you were dating him last year, did you care about him?"

Santana studied him for a moment, then answered honestly. "I understood him. We were both just scared, trying to hide who we were. I never knew that he might do this when people found out though. I thought he was stronger than that." She looked at the boy in front of her. Sometimes he looked like a sad little puppy, but she knew the truth. "I thought he was strong like you."

"I'm not so strong, 'Tana," Blaine said, looking away.

She grabbed his hand and forced him to look at her. "You are still here. After everything you've been through. You helped Kurt, you helped me. You are one of the strongest people I know."

Blaine scoffed. "You know what they say. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

She started to answer, but they were interrupted by the buzz of Blaine's cell phone. "Hey Nick," he answered and he stood up against the railing to talk to his friends.

She put the headphones back on and sat back to listen but was soon interrupted by her own phone buzzing. She glanced at it and swore underneath her breath, but opened the text anyway.

_Lima Bean. 4pm. Bring Blaine and Kurt. ~ Sebastian_

When Blaine got off the phone with Nick, Jeff and Trent, Santana showed him the text from Sebastian.

"Do you think we should go?" she asked. "I'm up to my ears with his bullshit. Couldn't believe Mr. Schue stopped Finn from going out to beat his ass. I would have paid good money to see that."

"Well he knows," Blaine said. "About Karofsky, I mean. That was Nick and the guys on the phone. Said Sebastian told them and was pretty shaken up about it."

Santana thought that was curious but filed the information away for later. "Yeah well, that doesn't mean he's going to stop keeping his eye on the prize. I say we go and put an end to all this once and for all."

"I agree," he said, checking the time. "Let's go find Kurt and Brittany. It's going to be lunchtime soon."

* * *

The four met back up in the courtyard. Though they still didn't discuss it, Kurt and Blaine naturally fell into one another's arms.

"Are you okay?" Kurt whispered to him.

"For now, yes," Blaine answered. He pulled away and looked deeply into the oceans of Kurt's eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," Kurt nodded, then shook his head with an ironic chuckle. "And no."

Blaine pressed his forehead into Kurt's and put his hand on the small of Kurt's back. "Come on, let's get some food."

None of them were very hungry, but it was nice to sit together in the fresh air, as if everything was normal. They discussed Sebastian's demand, and agreed that they'd all go together and insist that the violence and harassment stop. There had been too many casualties, enough was enough.

"I'm going to stop by the God Squad meeting after school first," Kurt informed them.

Santana raised an eyebrow, but decided against stating the obvious.

Blaine, on the other hand, grew even more concerned and took Kurt's hand. "Kurt, talk to me. You know this isn't your fault. We tried last year to help him. You went above and beyond. You did everything you could. His choices were his own."

Kurt looked away and took a deep breath, then turned back. "This is why I can't talk to you about this. Not yet." Kurt linked his fingers with Blaine, but his voice was strained. "I love you. This doesn't change that. But you're still angry with him. You don't feel how I feel, and frankly I don't want you to, not until I can sort it out myself. Adding this on top of everything else you're dealing with right now, I just can't do that to you." Kurt kissed him hastily, then stood up. "I need to go to class. I'll meet you guys at the Lima Bean." He took his tray and walked off.

Blaine sat frozen. Brittany took his hand. "He's okay, Blaine. He's just hurting and he thinks you'll feel threatened by how he feels."

"He loves you Blaine," Santana told him. "Sometimes you need space. This time he needs it."

He looked at their earnest expressions and relaxed a bit. He didn't like it, but he knew they were right.  "What would I do without you girls?"

* * *

Sebastian sat at the Lima Bean doing his history homework, but his mind wasn't on it. His thoughts dashed back and forth between Karofsky and his guests who were late. He could feel his heart racing nervously, something he hadn't felt in a long time. He respected Santana and Blaine. Unexpectedly he had truly grown to care for Blaine, and everything had just gone way too far. And now he shared a burden with Kurt as well. It was time to end this rivalry and he knew it was entirely in his hands. He took a sip of his coffee and tried to concentrate on his schoolwork while he waited.

"Let me break it down for you," Santana said, not even bothering with a greeting as she slipped into the chair in front of him, Brittany by her side. He glanced to the others, to Blaine, then looked back at her. "From one bitch to another. All this vicious, underhanded crap has got to stop."

"Exactly," Sebastian says. "That's why I called you here. First of all," he turned to Blaine. "Blaine, I am sorry about your eye."

"That means nothing to me," Blaine hissed.

"Just give me a chance," he appealed as he raced to get out his apology. "I have no excuses other than a lame prank got completely out of control. Second," he turned his attention briefly to Kurt, "the Finn photos have all been destroyed." He looked back and forth between Santana and Blaine. "I want the Warblers to win fair and square. And we're going to take donations for Lady Gaga's Born This Way foundation. Win, lose, or draw, we're going to dedicate our performance to Dave Karofsky." He peered into Blaine's eyes, hoping to see a shift but didn't. He turned to Kurt. "I thought you might want to join us."

"Wait for the punch," Kurt sniped to Blaine, never taking his eyes of Sebastian. "You know it's coming."

Sebastian shook his head and lowered his eyes. He knew it would take more to earn their trust back, especially from Kurt. He had done an amazing job of taking advantage of Blaine's trust and good-nature, stomping all over it and throwing it in the trash. He knew Kurt was unlikely to ever forgive him for that. But he needed to put this to rest. "No, not this time," he tried to assure them. "For too long, I have treated everything like a big joke." Sebastian took a breath, considering Kurt for only a minute before avoiding his judging gaze. "Karofsky came up to me, at Scandals. Asked me how to get a guy to like him. And in my usual way, I insulted him, basically told him he would never get a guy, told him to stay in the closet and blew him off." Sebastian glanced at Blaine, who regarded him with a mix of disgust and pity, and Sebastian looked away in shame. He turned to Santana, addressing her, one bitch to another. "It's all fun and games. Until it's not."

They sat silently for a minute, the five of them. It had been a long hard day for them all and emotions were running extremely high. Santana looked to Brittany, Kurt and Blaine who seemed unconvinced by Sebastian's words, but maybe because they were, in some way, kindred spirits, she believed him.

"Then I think we're all done here," she said getting up. "Here's one thing I've learned Sebastian. The New Directions are a pretty forgiving bunch. I hope you mean this. If you do, then chances are most of us will be behind you." She peered at Kurt who still looked unimpressed. "But if you screw up again, then you better watch out, because we fight back, hard."

The four started out past him, but Sebastian reached out to grab Blaine's wrist. Blaine stopped and looked down at him. Sebastian caught Blaine's eyes. "Do you have a minute?" he asked.

Blaine looked up at Kurt, who didn't hide his disdain but nodded his head. "We'll be right outside," Kurt told him.

As the others left, Blaine sat awkwardly at the table, keeping his distance physically and emotionally.

Sebastian kept his eyes trained on Blaine as he tried, with little hope, to make things right. "I am truly sorry, Blaine. For everything, not just your eye, though that was the worst. I got caught up in the competition. Not only Warblers against New Directions, but me against Kurt, and I went way too far. I wish…I wish it hadn't taken a suicide attempt for me to realize that, but," his eyes shifted, "sometimes when something shoves you so much in one direction, it takes it happening again to move you back to center."

Blaine considered Sebastian's admission for a minute before trying to respond. "Sebastian," he started.

"No," Sebastian interrupted. "I don't want your pity. I want your trust and your respect. And I know it will take time to earn it back. I just wanted you to know that earning it back matters to me."

Blaine stood up slowly, his hands still on the table, watching Sebastian. He looked outside at his friends waiting for him, then turned back. "Thank you for the apology," he said sincerely, then headed outside.

Kurt was leaning sullenly with his back to the driver's side door, arms folded as Blaine walked up. Santana and Brittany were crowded around him.

"Sebastian feels guilty too," Brittany was saying.

"Well, he should," Kurt declared. "He hurts people deliberately. What he said to David was horrible."

"And what David did to you was horrible," Blaine snapped, joining the conversation. "But you have had no problem forgiving him."

Kurt side-eyed Blaine angrily. Santana hastily linked arms with Brittany. "I think this is our cue to leave," Santana decided. "Let's let Kurt take Blaine home, Britt."

Brittany waved behind her at the boys, frowning that they were angry and arguing with each other. The boys paused their argument to say goodbye to the girls, but Kurt was never one for leaving an argument unfinished. As soon as the girls got in their car, he whirled around back to Blaine, arms folded across his chest as if holding himself together.

"Why can't you just let it go, Blaine," Kurt pleaded with frustration so deep the tears started flowing against his will. "David's trying and he's changed and he's clearly hurting, I mean, that wasn't a cry for help Blaine, that was a real attempt. You and I of all people should be understanding toward him, and yet you're still acting like you hate him."

Blaine listened to what Kurt had to say, and turned away, walking a few steps to clear his head. He couldn't explain his feelings toward Karofsky. David reminded him so much of his father. Bullies attacked and abused and in Blaine's experience, they rarely changed. David had made Kurt feel the way he felt his whole life and he couldn't bear the thought of them being friends. He folded his hands together and pressed them to his lips, almost in prayer, as he closed his eyes.

Blaine felt Kurt's hands on his back rubbing up and down his spine, then wrapping around his waist. Kurt silently pressed his cheek to Blaine's back.

"He hurt you," Blaine whispered roughly. "No one's allowed to hurt you. And because of him, it could have been you in the hospital. Or worse. And I may never have met you. "

"But instead it's because of me that he's in the hospital," Kurt said brokenly.

"No," Blaine insisted, turning around in Kurt's arms. "Don't ever say that. You only ever tried to help him. And after everything he did to you, you were still your kind, amazing self to him every time you were with him. It's what I love about you." He lowered his head and glanced back in the window of the coffee shop. Sebastian was still there, nursing his coffee trying to finish his work. He turned back to Kurt. "It's what I'm going to try to do with Sebastian."

Kurt met Blaine's eyes, then chuckled sadly as he looked down to the street. "That may be asking a little much of me, Blaine. You struggle with the people who hurt me. Well, I don't know if I can forgive the people that hurt you."

Blaine nodded. "I'm not asking you to. Maybe we could just start by not judging each other."

Kurt fell into Blaine's arms and they both were comforted by the warmth of the other. "That seems like a good start."

* * *

Mr. Schuester called them all to the auditorium the next day for Glee. Kurt and Blaine held hands as they walked onto the stage. The tension between them wasn't gone, but it was eased sine their conversation at the Lima Bean. Their teacher sat on the stage and most of the choir members were sitting in a circle around him. Rachel curled into Finn's side tugged at both of their hearts. The ease at which they could just be with each other, love one another, and decide to spend their whole lives together was something that Kurt and Blaine sometimes worried they would never have if they didn't make it out of Ohio.

"Sit with me?" Kurt asked soberly.

"No," Blaine answered, still concerned for Kurt's emotional state. Kurt's guilt hadn't abated and Blaine was honestly terrified of it. "I want to sit where I can see you." He kissed Kurt softly on the cheek and sat down in the circle across from Kurt, next to Mr. Schuester.

Blaine could only imagine that the choir director was going to talk to them about the suicide, and he watched Kurt carefully, aching for the pain that was so evident in his demeanor. The stunt he pulled with Rory, feeding him peanut butter for the first time, pulled at Kurt's patience, which Blaine knew quite well was thin enough these past few days.

"Mr. Schuester, while that's incredibly moving," Kurt said sarcastically, "It's kind of been an emotional week for some of us."

Blaine fought the urge to wrap him in his arms as Mr. Schuester acknowledged Kurt.

Focusing solely on Kurt and Karofsky, he'd been able to, until now, keep his own memories at bay. But now Mr. Shuester shared how he'd once contemplated killing himself in high school after he’d been caught cheating on a test and feared his parent's disappointment and Blaine's memories rushed to the surface. His attention involuntarily drifted away from Kurt and drew inward. His circle of friends and even Kurt faded out as pictures floated back into his mind. Laying in the hospital bed after the Sadie Hawkins dance, he had closed his eyes and wished that the bullies had just put him out of his misery. Not just because of the hate at school, though that might have been enough. No, what he didn't want to face was his father when he got home. But not because of his disappointment. Blaine had to hold back his feelings about his teacher's story because disappointment was the least of his concerns. Disappointment would have meant that his father had cared about him. But, with Colonel Anderson, Blaine had only ever felt disgust and hatred.

He had been right, in the hospital. Within minutes of arriving home, his mother was out the door, escaping what Blaine never could. And as he lay in his room, competing pain from the buillies and his father wracking his body from nearly head to toe, he thought about his ways out. And in that moment he had only been able to think of one.

Kurt's eyes had shifted to Blaine when their teacher started his story. He fought the urge to tell Mr. Schuester to stop or to run over to Blaine and remove him from the auditorium. Blaine's eyes had gone dark and distant, as he shifted uncomfortably, unconsciously rubbing the scar on his wrist. Kurt had kissed that scar away over and over, but he knew it was burning in Blaine's memory right now. Blaine had told him it had been more an act of relieving the pain than trying to hurt himself, but as he watched the boy he loved, his face nearly wracked with anxiety, Kurt wondered. And he worried. He had been so caught up in his own guilt and pain this week. Had he missed that Blaine needed him?

"That day," Mr. Schuester was saying, "I promise you, I thought it was the end of the world. But you know what? It wasn't."

Blaine thought about what he said. He had survived it. Santana was right, he had reached his edge years ago, and had survived. If he hadn't, he would have missed his years at Dalton, singing with the Warblers, and of course, meeting the love of his life. Mr. Schuester asked them to think of something they were looking forward to. He had already come so far, but there was still one thing out of his reach.

"I am looking forward to marriage equality in all fifty states." And though there was sadness still in his eyes, Kurt could see a hint of his sparkle return and smiled faintly back at him. Truth be told, when it all came down to it, he wanted the same thing.

"I'm looking forward to watching my Dad make a difference in congress," Kurt said.

Because Kurt knew that as those changes were made, when the LGBTQ community enjoyed the love and respect and freedom that others took for granted, then there would be fewer kids like himself and Blaine and David contemplating a permanent way out.

Glee ended, and both boys stood up, still reeling. Blaine fiddled with his fingers and shuffled his feet. Kurt hooked his thumbs in the back pockets of his pants and drew near to his boyfriend. He reached over and took Blaine's hand in his, running his thumb over the scar on Blaine's wrist. "I think it's time for us to talk," Kurt breathed.

Blaine looked up at him and linked their fingers, bringing their hands to his heart. "I would like that very much."

* * *

Everyone arrived at Regionals on Saturday, their hearts a little lighter. The New Directions had worked hard the last few days of the week to ace their performances, especially the girls who were in all three numbers.  Kurt and Blaine were only in one, Mr. Schuester insisting that they take a break from everything, and while both would have strongly preferred to lose themselves in performing, they instead filled the hours with planning the New Directions costumes. It allowed them some time to reconnect and just have fun.

They sat next to one another in the audience as the judges were announced and Blaine just could not containing how excited he was that the damn vampire he forced Kurt and Finn to watch way too many nights was a judge. Kurt was almost relieved when the Warblers took the stage to perform. Almost. Despite Finn rallying them to cheer on their competition, despite Blaine's gradual enthusiasm, Kurt just couldn't bring himself to put any passion into his applause. He didn't trust Sebastian and he didn't like him. By the end though, he was reminded that he had other friends on the stage, and for them he applauded supportively.

After the Golden Goblets performed they went to the choir room to prepare for their set. Blaine ran into Nick and Jeff on his way in and congratulated them.

"You guys were great, really," he smiled, hugging them both. He noticed David chatting up a member of the Golden Goblets and nudged Jeff. "What's up with that? Thought he had a girlfriend?"

"He just broke up with her," Jeff smirked. "Tell your girls to watch out, he's on the prowl."

Quinn passed by and both Warblers' heads turned. "Apparently he's not the only one on the prowl. Just don't stare at Quinn for too long boys." Blaine chuckled at them before heading into the choir room, straight to the piano to warm up.

"But she's so beautiful," Nick pouted and Jeff cuffed him playfully on the head.

"You couldn't ask out a girl if she walked right up to you," Jeff teased as they headed back to the audience to watch the New Directions.

"I'm gonna get up the courage very soon to just go up to a girl and ask her out," Nick said confidently. "I'm just preparing exactly what to say."

Trent jogged by and turned to them both. "Maybe you can't because you've already found the love of your life?" he winked and ran off.

"Oh, we are so going to kick your sass, Trent Warbler!" they yelled running after him.

Sebastian slowly followed behind them all and smiled. He peered into the window of the choir room. Blaine sat at the piano, looking absolutely adorable. He knew that Kurt didn't believe him. He knew that Blaine wouldn't trust him for a while. But he meant every word he had sang that day. Blaine hit him like the sky fell on him. And whatever way it worked out, he was going to stand and run again.

* * *

Kurt took his place on the stage. He saw his father in the audience and felt the familiar confidence his presence brought. He may have had hard times. He may have had times when he just wanted it all to go away. But he was a fighter, a survivor and he would not let anyone or anything stand in his way of winning.

_I came to win, to fight_   
_To conquer, to thrive_   
_I came to win, to survive_   
_To prosper, to rise_   
_To fly, To fly_

As Santana performed, she thought about the days when it all became too much. She missed her grandmother. In those days she cried in Brittany's arms or reached out to Blaine. Everything else she could bite back at, aiming her own guns of sarcasm. But it was only her friends that got her through the days that got became too painful.

_I wish today it will rain all day_   
_Maybe that will kinda make the pain go away_

_And life was nothing but an awful song_

_They got their guns out aiming at me_   
_But I become Neo when they aiming at me_

Blaine looked out into the audience as he sang. He could pick out the Dalton uniforms and looked at the boys he called friends. He felt like the fight would never be over. His father, Sebastian, Karofsky, even his best friends had hurt him and the ones he loved over and over. But his days of being a victim were over. Together with Kurt, he could do anything. He would thrive and soar beyond what any of them ever imagined.

_Me, me, me against them_   
_Me against enemies, me against friends_   
_Somehow they both seem to become one_   
_A sea full of sharks and they all smell blood_

  
_They start coming and I start rising_   
_Must be surprising, I'm just surmising_   
_I win, thrive, soar_   
_Higher, higher, higher_   
_More fire_

Sebastian watched Blaine from across the stage. He was mesmerized. His confidence, his power, his brutal honesty on that stage. He knew Blaine's words were a message to Sebastian and the Warblers. He wondered to whom else. He recognized Blaine's pain and loneliness. He had seen it the first time they had sat over coffee at Dalton. I had made him an easy target.  Now he was the target, alone and in pain.  Of course he had done it to himself. The Warblers embraced everyone, and yet he managed to alienate them all by going after two they considered their own. But, he had felt that way before. That's why he'd come to Dalton in the first place. He had thought if he could shut himself off emotionally that he'd protect himself this time. But that silence was so very loud.

_See I was on the verge of breakin' down_

_Paint they own pictures, then they crop me in_   
_But I will remain where the top begins_

_Sometimes silence can seem so loud_

After the wedding, Blaine would visit his father. He hadn't seen or talked to him since the last counseling session and Blaine had done a lot of thinking this past week. So many tears his father had caused, so much pain. And yet, watching Kurt forgive Dave, he thought maybe there was still hope for him and his Dad if he put the effort in. It terrified him, trying to let his father in. But life was short and his father was still there. He would do his best and come what may, he'd see what his father would do with it.

_I hear the criticism loud and clear_   
_That is how I know that the time is near_   
_See we become alive in a time of fear_   
_And I ain't got no motherfickle time to spare_   
_Cry my eyes out for days upon days_   
_Such a heavy burden placed upon me_   
_But when you go hard your nay's become yea's_   
_Yankee Stadium with Jay's and Kanye's_

Burt watched his kids. Four of his kids up on that stage with their best friends. He had a parent's fear for the future for all of them, but today, they were amazing and he believed in them wholeheartedly.

_I believe I can soar_

_Get ready for it_   
_I see me runnin' through that open door_

_Get ready for it_   
_I believe I can fly_

* * *

"You ready for Rachel Berry to get married?" Blaine sidled up to Kurt, massaging his shoulders. He whispered in the darkness of backstage, as the girls sang and the other boys climbed to the auditorium towers.

_We stuck it out this far together_   
_Put our dreams through the shredder_   
_Let's toast cause things_   
_Got Better_

"I'm less worried about Rachel, than Finn. He can't even take care of himself," Kurt said frankly. "But if the plan is for Finn to move in with Rachel, maybe it's worth it. No more having to worry about him walking in us," he smirked.

"And if Rachel moves in with you guys?" Blaine laughed.

"Then I'm moving in with the Rachel's Dads," Kurt declared quickly.

_And everything could change like that_   
_And all these years go by so fast_   
_But nothing lasts_   
_Forever._

"Are you going to the wedding?" Blaine asked hesitantly.

Kurt shrugged reluctantly. "Of course, how I could I miss it? Though, I planned to go to the hospital to see David as soon as we were done here."

"Do that," Blaine said, enveloping Kurt in his arms and kissing him. "I think you need to do that."

"I'd invite you to come with me, but..." he trailed off.

"It's something you need to do yourself," Blaine finished in agreement. "I have to run back to our houses and get our tuxes."

"Don't bring my prom kilt," Kurt teased. He breathed easy in Blaine's arms. "I'm sorry. For how distant I've been this week. I'm sorry it took me so long to be there for you. Everything just, really hit me hard. I've missed you."

"Don't ever be sorry, Kurt. I love you so much. If I was eighteen, and if we were legally allowed to marry, and if I thought you might say yes, I'd ask you in a heartbeat, faults and all," Blaine promised.

"That's a lot of ifs," Kurt joked.

Blaine shook his head. "Shut up and kiss me," Blaine grinned as he leaned in to Kurt, nearly alone backstage, and kissed him passionately.

_Here's to us_   
_Here's to love_   
_All the times that we messed up_   
_Here's to you_   
_Fill the glass_   
_Cause the last few nights have gone too fast._   
_If they give you hell_   
_Tell 'em to forget themselves_   
_Here's to us._   
_Here's to us._

"Here's to us," they whispered together.

* * *

As Blaine walked over to Sebastian and shook his hand, congratulating his rival on the second place win, Kurt fought back his jealousy. He had to. In less than an hour, he'd be sitting with David Karofsky in the hospital. He wouldn't shake the Warbler Captain's hand himself though, any more than Blaine would come sit by Dave's bedside. When you love someone, it's easy to hate the people who hurt them. It was still too early for both of them.

Blaine looked for Kurt and caught him in the midst of screaming New Directions, a glow of envious green in Kurt's ocean colored eyes. He smiled warmly at his gorgeous boyfriend and returned to his side, grabbing his hand.

"Come on," he said, leading him from the crowd of celebrating teammates, "I know just where to go."

Blaine pulled Kurt's arm to follow him backstage and up the spiral staircase to the spot tower; their special place.

"I do recall you saying you wanted to make love to me here," Blaine said with a mischievous glint.

"Blaine, there are still a hundred people filing out of the auditorium," Kurt said motioning to the people still making their way out of the seats. People including Rachel's Dads and his own Dad. "You are such an exhibitionist."

"And  _you_  are too private. Maybe I just want to show off how much I love you," he teased, though as always he pulled Kurt to a shadowed corner just outside the view of the crowd below them. Blaine cupped Kurt's chin, asking permission, and Kurt leaned in to kiss him in response. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, pulling him closer so that their bodies were flush. As they kissed lovingly, their eyes closed, they both imagined the possibilities of an empty and dark auditorium. Kurt pulled away first, breathless as always, his face flush with his thoughts.

Blaine pressed his forehead against Kurt's. "This is a little better than last year, isn't it?" Blaine whispered. "It feels amazing to win with you."

"I'm just happy not to be at a funeral this year," Kurt quipped with sadness. Pavarotti's death had been bad enough. Imagining what could have happened with Dave was too much.

Blaine sobered and drew back to meet Kurt's eyes. "I am too, baby," he said pulling Kurt in for an embrace. "I love you more than anything."

"I love you too," Kurt sighed, letting the sadness go. David was ok, he and Blaine were ok, and they had just won a trip to Nationals together. "And we have a wedding to go to," he said rolling his eyes.

"And you have a friend to visit," Blaine sighed.

Kurt smiled softly. It meant the world to him that Blaine could even call David a friend. Kurt kissed him quickly, then straightened Blaine's bow tie.

"Come on. Let's go get changed."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and they left the auditorium, walking hand in hand in the relative emptiness of the McKinley hallways. They passed Quinn in her Cheerios outfit and Blaine broke into a grin. "Hey Fabray, looking good!" he called. As he and Kurt rounded the corner, Blaine broke out in laugher. "Do you think we should tell Nick and Jeff?" he teased.

"Tell Nick and Jeff what?" the Warblers called in unison as they passed by on their way to the Dalton dressing room.

"Your crush is back in her Cheerios uniform. Looking hot!" Blaine grinned.

Nick and Jeff turned and stared each other down. Blaine and Kurt watched silently as the boys stood frozen, then suddenly broke out into a run, trying to sneak the first glimpse at Quinn.

Blaine and Kurt broke out in laughter as they continued back to the choir room. "Straight boys," Kurt said as he rolled his eyes in amusment.

"Dalton boys!" Blaine clarified and he and Kurt ran back to the dressing room to quickly change.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine put on their tuxedos in an empty room at City Hall and fixed each other's ties.

"I can't believe they're actually going to go through with this," Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I can't believe your father is going to let them," Blaine quipped. "Did you see the vein nearly popping out of his head?"

"If they cared at all for his heart, they would call this off," Kurt grumbled.

"Come here," Blaine said and pulled him in. He met Kurt's lips, swiping his tongue across them teasingly. Kurt responded by dipping his own between Blaine's lips, allowing his annoyance to slip away. As his eyes closed, his mind was brought back to his conversation with David in the hospital. He allowed himself to forget all the things that were wrong, and instead lose himself in the perfection of the moment, so grateful for all that he had; his loving family, friends, and of course, Blaine. He pulled away only when he had to, breathless and joyful.

"What do you want to do when you graduate college?" Kurt asked Blaine casually.

Blaine looked at him askance. "What?" he asked curiously.

"Do you want a boy or a girl? When we have kids." Kurt's smile was teasing but Blaine could see a touch of dreaming in his eyes.

"I want whatever you want," Blaine answered thoughtfully. "Where did this come from?"

"Just trying to imagine our future together," Kurt said with a glimmer in his eye.

"Oh don't you worry, babe," Blaine hummed as he reached over for Kurt's hand and led him out to the lobby with the girls. "I've got our future all planned out."


	18. Big Brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first I need to say, I LOVE LOVE LOVE new people reading this series! So thank you everyone new and for your comments and kudos. You're the best! Okay, now back to 2012:
> 
> Welcome back everyone! It has been a long 7 weeks, but now we get to look forward to 7 more episodes and 7 more chapters after BIG BROTHER! [Remember that hiatus?!? Ugh!]
> 
> So those of you who read my author's notes are aware of how nervous I was about the episode in relation to this story. After seeing it, I had three options: not write this chapter, use the canon storyline completely and ignore the backstory of this fic, or remain true to Way Out and somewhat alter the episode. I chose the last option. This means that I reinvented the last Anderson Brothers scene of the episode. I hope you like it. 
> 
> Without further ado, I do not own Glee, Matt Bomer or Darren Criss. It is a sad, sad world.

Blaine sat at the long dining room table across from his father. It was only the two of them. Kurt still had trouble around Colonel Anderson, but Blaine had promised himself after everything with Sebastian and Karofsky and then Quinn's car accident that he'd give his father a second chance. He'd spent a fair amount of time with him over the last few weeks and things were getting better. They were far from perfect, but Blaine was trying and his father was trying and they could at least breathe at the same table together without it feeling like the air was so heavy they were drowning in it.

"So you guys are getting ready for Nationals I assume?" Colonel Anderson had in the past been nothing but derisive in regards to Blaine's involvement in show choir. Blaine was learning to appreciate the little things, the attempts at connecting, instead of focusing on the past.

"You'd think so," Blaine answered, careful to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "But New Directions doesn't really do all that well at preparing. Especially with Quinn's accident, no one's mind has exactly been in the game. I'm really getting kind of worried about our chances. The Warblers…" he trailed off. Dalton and the Warblers still held too many bad memories for both of them.

"Well, I hope you can keep your head on tight no matter what your teammates are doing. Casualties aren't an excuse for losing your way. That just causes more casualties."

Blaine grimaced. Only his father could equate a show choir championship with war. "Yes, Sir."

They ate in silence for a moment. Breathing had improved. Conversation was still a struggle.

"I heard your brother's coming to town," Blaine's father said slowly.

Blaine dropped his fork and coughed as he choked on his potato. "What?" he squealed, his eyes watering as he took a drink to calm himself.

"Your mother told me," Colonel Anderson said watching his son closely. "I thought you knew."

Blaine shook his head as his hands balled into fists. "No. No, she managed to keep that one a secret from me."

"Maybe she was worried that you wouldn't handle it well," he suggested with a quirked eyebrow.

"Maybe he told her not to tell me," Blaine mumbled dejectedly under his breath.

"Your brother loves you," Colonel Anderson told his son, and Blaine thought it seemed an ironic thing to come out of his father's mouth.

"Yeah well, you and he have funny ways of showing your love," Blaine grumbled dryly. His father slowly put his utensils down and the air quickly thickened. It was the sign for Blaine to leave. He folded his napkin neatly on the table and stood up. "Suddenly I'm not very hungry. I have to go."

"Blaine," his father warned, rising from the table himself.

"Please, Dad," Blaine's eyes begged. "Please, just let it go for once." He didn't wait for an answer though. He grabbed his coat and slammed the front door behind him.

* * *

He immediately turned the car on, backed quickly out of the driveway and headed toward the highway back home to Lima. He changed his mind though and pulled over, pulling out his cell phone.

_From Blaine: Can you meet me in 15 minutes?_

When he got a reply in the affirmative, he turned the car around and headed back into Westerville.

Parking the car in a visitor's spot at Dalton, he strolled to the chapel, in no hurry. He'd made it there in record time. He took in the school that had been his escape when he had needed it most. It wasn't there for him anymore, it had turned its back on him just like everyone and everything else. But each time, he had found something stronger to cling to, as he continued to claw his way up and out.

"To what do I owe the honor of your visit?" Nick asked with a grin when Blaine finally met him at the gardens. The two had been in contact by email and text over the last few weeks, but they hadn't met again since Nick's visits after his eye operation. Blaine thought he'd heard that Nick and Jeff had gone to visit Quinn, but he didn't know for sure.

Blaine huffed as he settled heavily onto one of the benches. "Dinner at my father's." Blaine picked a flower out of the ground and began tearing the petals off, one by one.

Nick peered over apprehensively. "Went that well, huh?" Nick was the one person beside Kurt who knew most everything about Blaine and his father. He hadn't been there for the worst of it. No one had been there for Blaine, he'd been completely alone then. But Nick had helped pick up the pieces and Blaine recognized one advantage he had on Kurt. Nick had met Cooper Anderson.

"Apparently my brother is coming back to town," Blaine remarked. Hands fisted on his chin, elbows on his knees, he glanced up nervously at Nick, who was still standing over him.

Nick exhaled and took in the pain in Blaine's eyes. He missed the happiness, the sparkle that he'd had at Dalton, where he could hide away from all that hurt him. He knew things were harder for Blaine living at home, going to McKinley, and dealing with Sebastian. Cooper would only make it even more difficult.

"I remember when he came for the Christmas concert our freshman year," Nick recalled. "We had finally gotten you out of your shell. And he seemed to stuff you right back inside."

"Yeah, well, Cooper has an amazing way of doing that," Blaine groused as he fisted his hand into his hair. Cooper belittled him, constantly put him down. No matter how hard Blaine tried, he could never do anything right enough for Cooper.

"When was the last time you saw him?" Nick asked, sitting next to him.

"After the spring concert that year I stopped inviting him to things. You guys always built me up. I didn't need him bringing me down," Blaine answered.

"So Kurt hasn't met him yet?" Nick asked surprised.

Blaine scoffed. "Kurt's already in love with him, he just doesn't know it. Do you know he won't let me fast forward through those awful commercials? He has Coop's damn jingle as the ringtone on his cell phone. Makes me cringe every time I hear the darn thing go off."

"Why haven't you told him?" Nick wondered.

"And have him find out that he's my brother? I was hoping to keep that information from him as long as possible."

"Well, looks like your times up," Nick smirked.

"Yeah. Yeah time's up," Blaine frowned.

"Maybe he's changed," Nick suggested hesitantly. "And even if he hasn't, you're not the same guy you were a year ago Blaine. You can handle him now." Blaine nodded slightly, but without conviction.

Nick and Blaine sat quietly for a moment. "Was it ever good between you?" Nick wondered.

Blaine remembered and smiled. "Yeah. When my dad was gone when I was nine, ten, eleven, we used to spend hours singing and dancing in the living room, our bedrooms, at neighborhood parties, anywhere we could whenever Coop was home. I'd jump on the bed or the couch, he'd play air guitar on the floor. For a while there, he stopped being critical like Dad and we'd just play. He was only starting out in Hollywood. Wasn't a  _big star,_ " Blaine emphasized with air quotes and an eye roll, "back then."

"Then maybe you can remember that," Nick suggested. "Focus on the good times you had with him and give him a second chance." Nick shrugged. "It's your choice."

Blaine wasn't sure. He hated the way Cooper treated him, but that was only half the story. The rest he tucked away in the privacy of his heart, sharing with no one, barely even allowing himself to feel what was truly inside.

Nick glanced at his watch. "We're coming up on curfew, and I still have homework. Shall I walk you to your car?" Nick asked politely.

"No," Blaine dismissed him. "I'm going to stay here for a bit." He hugged his friend, grateful that he could still call Nick that and continue to count on him like he had before. "Thank you," he said warmly.

Nick smiled at him and headed back to his dorm.

Blaine remained in the gardens, the reset lighting in the pebbled paths offering a soothing glow to think on all that Nick had said. He found himself following the path to the doors of the chapel and with little consideration he walked inside. The elegant hall was where the Dalton formality began every semester, forcing the boys to leave their undisciplined selves behind and adopt the deportment and dignity demanded of each and every Dalton student. After the first invocation a student's first year, the transformation happened nearly instinctively, and Blaine stood in the pews, his fingers running along the smooth wood of the seat in front of him allowing it to wash over him one more time.

The Dalton Mask. The smile that never reached his eyes. The enthusiasm so visible in his step but absent from his heart. The whitewashing of the past until all the ugliness was hidden and only the pristine surface coat was visible to the world. The transformation wasn't as easy without the uniform, but he was practiced and it wasn't difficult. He closed his eyes and lifted his chin. He had survived the bullies at school, his father, Sebastian. He damn well would not allow Cooper Anderson to break him.

* * *

He started to panic the minute that he got the text.

_From Cooper: Hey little bro! I'm coming to town for a couple days! Pick you up at school tomorrow and I'll take you out to lunch. You'll be my first stop! You can introduce me to the boyfriend._

Blaine texted him back that it would be great, but it wouldn't be great at all. He didn't want Cooper at McKinley and he didn't want his friends meeting him. He wanted Coop in the controlled atmosphere of their mother's apartment where he didn't have to try so hard to be that person that he wasn't anymore. Last time Cooper had gone to his school he had berated and humiliated him in front of the Warblers. The Warblers pieced him back together but New Directions was different. Once Cooper arrived on the scene, if Blaine couldn't keep it together himself all the progress he had made with his new friends would go out the window.

In school the next morning, Blaine kept staring at his phone, waiting for the moment that Cooper announced his arrival. Kurt picked up on his worry right away, but Blaine quickly wiped it off his face and replaced it with a smile.

Cooper arrived and Blaine introduced them. Kurt acted exactly as he had expected and it tore at Blaine's heart, but he refused to let it show. He knew there was no rational reason to worry about competing with his straight brother for his own boyfriend's affections, but Cooper brought out all of Blaine's insecurities and magnified them tenfold.

He was both mortified and terrified when Coach Sylvester brought Cooper into Glee. Rachel and Kurt begged the brothers to sing. He tried to protest, but Blaine Warbler never passed up the opportunity to perform so he slapped the mask on and tried to remember those happy years when he and Cooper wowed the neighborhood with their song and dance and they came home to love and not fear. He tried so hard to be the little brother that everyone expected him to be. But Cooper pushed his every button with his critical self-absorbed attention seeking self and Blaine was horribly out of practice.

The Dalton mask lasted less than a day.

* * *

"You're unbelievable," Blaine said throwing down his fork at the table at BreadStix.

"What do you mean?" Cooper asked confused.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked exasperated. "All you ever do is tell me what I'm doing wrong. You waste no opportunity, to remind me how much I suck. At like, everything."

He was only five years old. He couldn't even dance well enough to the Hanson Brothers. He could never do anything right for Cooper. Just like their father. The Colonel had treated Cooper the same way. Coop just gave back what he learned. Sometimes Blaine feared he was doomed to do the same.

"If that happened, I am so sorry," Cooper apologized. "But I don't remember it."

"Course you don't," Blaine muttered staring at the table.

"Hey," Cooper stopped him, sitting up. "Hey little brother, I know there's an age difference between us, but I really want to be closer to you. I want to get to know you a little better."

Cooper was sincere. Blaine knew he was. And it terrified him. He wanted the same thing, but Cooper always hurt him and Blaine had hidden so much from him for so long. Blaine feared the floodgates.

"All right? That's why I'm here," Cooper tried to connect with him.

In the end it was all Blaine ever wanted. Remember the good times.

"Yeah, I know, I would love that, I, I'd like that," Blaine stuttered.

"Great, so you're going to come to my Master Class tomorrow, right?" Cooper checked.

It was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted his brother, not the actor. "Yeah, sure," he said, unable to say no, as the waitress came to put their cokes down.

"Cheers," Cooper smiled at the waitress.

Blaine shook his head, not believing he was about to encourage his nonsense. "Accent," he reminded Cooper quietly, hating himself more every second.

* * *

He had Cooper drop him off at Kurt's house for no other reason than Cooper was at Blaine's apartment and Blaine didn't want to be around him. Or around Kurt with him. He'd seen the way Kurt had stared during their Duran Duran duet. Cooper had no problem strutting his stuff right in front of his boyfriend and Kurt had lapped it up. Even climbing on the piano, a request that Kurt made at least twice a week, didn't distract him from drooling over the elder Anderson.

"Oh my god, Blaine, stop, go back!" Kurt screeched next to him as he nearly bounced out of the bed. They were watching Tabatha's Salon Takeover on DVR, a show that Kurt adored and Blaine tolerated, when Cooper's stupid commercial came on and Kurt went insane. Blaine rolled his eyes and pressed play, rewinding to the beginning of the horrible thing so Kurt didn't miss a single moment of the jingle. He scowled as Kurt stared googly-eyed at Cooper on the screen. "I still cannot believe that that is your brother," he said breathlessly.

Blaine knew that look all too well. "Kurt, imagining you with Taylor Lautner in a field of lilacs is hot. Imagining you with my brother in a field of lilacs is not," he complained.

"No," Kurt said quickly turning away to hide the blush that rose on his cheeks, especially when he started imagining those two things put together with a good dose of Blaine in the mix as well. He shook the thoughts out of his head. "No of course it's not." He turned the television off and shifted to give Blaine his full attention and change the subject entirely. "I wish you'd come to senior skip day," Kurt told him taking his hand.

"I'm a junior Kurt. I don't think I'm invited to senior skip day," Blaine said sullenly.

"That's nonsense," Kurt brushed his concerns away. "Tina and Rory and Sugar are all going. And Artie's doing something special with Quinn."

"I don't want to get in trouble," Blaine said, but he was just making excuses and Kurt knew it. "I really just am not feeling up for an amusement park Kurt, I'm sorry. We'll go another time together, just you and me, ok?"

Kurt frowned, but linked their fingers and snuggled into the crook of Blaine's arm. "Fine." Blaine pulled him closer and Kurt breathed in the warm and musky scent he couldn't resist. He pressed his lips to Blaine's neck and wrapped his arms around him, letting his mind drift as he nipped and savored the feel and taste of Blaine. Kurt made his way up Blaine's neck to nibble on his ear, then kissed his way over to Blaine's lips as his hand slid past Blaine's knee up his thigh with increasing ferocity as his imagination spun out of control.

Blaine closed his eyes and relished in the feel of Kurt's soft lips on his skin but though he enjoyed the aggression in Kurt's attention he pulled away knowingly. "Kurt," he whispered.

"Hmmm?" Kurt hummed against his lips, begging for entrance.

"Stop thinking about my brother," Blaine said bluntly.

"What?" Kurt shrilled pulling away and blushing. "I wasn't….I mean I didn't…" Kurt stumbled over his words, too caught to even try to deny it any longer. He looked for anger in Blaine's eyes, but he saw only a twinkle of amusement. Kurt sighed with relief. "How did you know?"

"Because I know you better than you know yourself," Blaine smiled and returned his lips to Kurt's.

"Mmm…" Kurt purred against him as he nuzzled into Blaine. "Good song. Can I think about Adam Lambert?"

Blaine smiled and nodded into Kurt's lips. "Mmmhmmm," he agreed without hesitation and deepened the kiss. Blaine pulled Kurt down on top of him and Kurt laughed as they lost themselves in one another's arms.

* * *

He'd tried. Blaine had tried so hard to keep his cool during the master class, but Kurt and Rachel were hanging on his brother's every word, even Santana was smiling along, and just like at Dalton, Cooper humiliated Blaine by calling him out in front of everyone.

"Why don't you just take the note man," Cooper urged, his frustration with Blaine's constant fighting of him reaching the edge. All he was trying to do was help.

"Coop, you're my brother! Can't you just support me?" Blaine was near tears in the midst of all of his friends in the master class and no one noticed. Just like home. Just like always. He couldn't do this anymore. But he would not walk out. He would never give Cooper the satisfaction of walking out.

So he waited as his nerves twisted in his chest and it became harder and harder to breathe, but everyone else seemed too caught up in his brother's ridiculous lessons that Blaine knew from his drama classes at Dalton were full of terrible advice. When it was finally over, he couldn't get out of there fast enough.

"Hey, boyfriend, wait up!" Santana called as he finally allowed his temper to flare, racing outside to get some air.

Blaine avoided her gaze as he stormed down the front steps of the school. "Thought you'd be inside with Kurt and the rest of them getting Cooper's autograph and worshipping the ground he walks on," he growled at her.

"Well, I'm not taken victim by the charm of the Anderson men," Santana said firmly. When he didn't look at her she grabbed his arm and forced him to turn around.

He crossed his arms, angry and embarrassed. "Everyone is taken in by Mr. Perfect," he said gesturing in the direction of the choir room. "Kurt adores him. I saw you in there, hanging on his every word. So what are you doing following me?"

"Let me tell you something that you may not have figured out yet, but I sure as hell have. Cooper may be charming and maybe what he says about acting is right, I don't know. But what I do know is that  _you_  are the smartest, strongest, most talented, and most warm-hearted Anderson in your family."

"You're wrong, Santana," he said staring shamefully at his feet. He sat down on the cold concrete step, dropping his head onto his hands. "Cooper's the strong one. He's the one that runs after his dreams. I just run away from everything."

Santana rolled her eyes and stood in front of him, irritated. "What would Cooper have done with those bullies at your school, Blaine? Pointed and talked REALLY LOUDLY to them?" she said sarcastically. "Listen, you think you're a runner, but you're not," she said adamantly. "You're a fighter."

Blaine shook his head. "San," he started.

"Shut up, boyfriend," she ordered and he snapped his eyes up to hers. "A great fighter doesn't engage in every conflict and go after every person that attacks him. A great fighter chooses his battles wisely and leaves behind the ones that aren't worth fighting for." He tried to look away but she continued and held his attention firmly. "Those guys at your old school, they weren't worth your effort. You didn't run away from them, you ran toward something better. Love, safety, freedom; those are the things worth doing battle for. Kurt, your father, your friends, those are the people worth fighting for. Dumb bullies who don't know how amazing you are? They aren't worth your time of day." Santana knelt down to him and took his hands in hers. "Now you just have to decide which list your brother is on."

* * *

Shameless self promotion in the middle of the McKinley hallway. Cooper was unbelievable.

"Ask me why I'm so happy, squirt," Cooper smiled.

"Don't call me that." Blaine hated that nickname more than anything.

"My life just completely changed. I just got an audition for a Michael Bay movie."

"Oh that's great," Blaine responded bitterly and stopped really listening. Blaine had thought about it all night after his conversation with Santana. He had planned to tell Cooper everything. He needed him to know about the dance and the bullies and their father. He'd gotten up early this morning to talk to Coop before school, but when he'd looked on the couch for him, his brother was gone. Cooper had left a note on the kitchen table that he'd catch up with him at school. Blaine could barely stomach his breakfast.

"Come on man, we'll have our own ditch day," Cooper said excitedly grabbing his arm to turn him. Blaine stared at the hand on his wrist, his heart leaping into his throat involuntarily. "You can help me run lines."

Blaine just stared at him. His brother had no idea what he had just done. "It's all about you, isn't it. But you know what big brother? I'm sick of it. And I'm not going to take it anymore."

_After all that you put me through,_  
_You think I'd despise you,_  
_But in the end I wanna thank you,_  
_'Cause you've made me that much stronger_

_Well I thought I knew you, thinkin' that you were true_  
_Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff time is up_  
_'Cause I've had enough_

Cooper watched Blaine walk away from him.

He didn't understand. He loved Blaine more than anyone else. His little brother meant the world to him. But his parents had always loved Blaine more than him. Blaine could get away with murder with barely a talking to by his father while he was held accountable for everything. Not only that, Blaine was always adorable, always so talented, while he was "wasting his life away with that acting business." His father was impossible to satisfy:

_"Your grades are terrible and I am not working this hard to raise losers."_

_"Get your head out of the clouds, stop dreaming and find a real future for yourself."_

_"Stop acting like you're the little brother and be responsible for a change."_

Cooper had hated his father, he'd always felt worthless, and he took it out on Blaine. He wasn't proud of that . He could have been nicer, but it wasn't as if he had the best role model. His father was literally a drill sergeant. And Cooper wanted Blaine to reach his potential. Blaine was more talented than him and he knew it. Blaine was a better singer, a better dancer and maybe even a better actor than him, but he made childish mistakes and if he wanted to make it past his father's biting criticism, Cooper had to prepare him. Someday, Cooper would leave and Blaine needed to be able to take it from his Dad without his big brother there to protect him. He was only helping Blaine develop a thicker skin. Otherwise, his father would destroy him.

_Makes me that much stronger_  
_Makes me work a little bit harder_  
_It makes me that much wiser_  
_So thanks for making me a fighter  
_

He searched the school for him, wanting to explain it to him, and found him in the last place he'd expect, the gym. Blaine was wailing away on a punching bag, no doubt imagining his face as the target, and he stepped back so he could watch without Blaine seeing him. He had no idea that Blaine had taken up boxing. He had no idea that he was so good.

_Made me learn a little bit faster_  
_Made my skin a little bit thicker_  
_Makes me that much smarter_  
_So thanks for making me a fighter_

"He's pretty amazing," a voice came behind him.

Cooper turned to see a girl in a cheerleading uniform, tying her long dark hair in a ponytail. It took him a moment, then he recognized her from Blaine's class. "Santana, right?" She nodded. "When did he learn how to box?" he indicated toward his brother.

"He started at Dalton after the attack, thought it would be a good idea to learn how to defend himself next time." Cooper looked from Santana to Blaine and back again, confusion written all over his face. "At his old school?" Santana prompted, but the look did not change. "After the Sadie Hawkins dance?" Cooper shook his head. He had no idea what she was talking about. "I can't believe that no one told you. Blaine had a dance at his old school and he went with another boy. It was right after he came out. None of us know exactly what happened, he doesn't talk about it. Well, Kurt probably does. But Blaine said there were some guys at school that beat the shit out of him. We know they hurt his eye. I think he had some broken bones. He was in the hospital a few days at least. It's why he transferred to Dalton."

Cooper froze in shock. "They just told me that he wasn't getting along with the other kids at school and needed to be challenged more," Cooper said quietly, staring after Blaine. "I always thought they were spoiling him by sending him there."

"It's probably what they wanted everyone to think," she said disgusted. Her brow furrowed in amazement. "You really don't know your brother at all, do you?" She walked off to cheerleading practice as Blaine finished up on the bag and disappeared into the showers.

No, he really didn't know his little brother at all.

* * *

The amusement park had been fun, but Kurt didn't enjoy it like he would have if Blaine had come along. Every fabulous moment he had wanted to share, but he didn't want to make Blaine feel worse by texting him a play-by-play. When he'd seen the little golden retriever stuffed puppy Finn had one for Rachel, with the sad eyes just like Blaine's, he immediately had to snag it for him. Rachel had enough stuffed animals.

Kurt's first stop was the auditorium. Given Blaine's mood, Cooper's imminent departure and leaving himself out of senior skip day, Blaine's refuge was the obvious place to find him. Kurt entered the house of the auditorium, expecting to see Blaine pacing the stage or brooding in the seats. But the Anderson brother he anticipated wasn't there. Instead he found Cooper, oblivious to his entrance.

"Blaine always comes here to think too," Kurt said from the top of the stairs, gently making his presence known.

Cooper startled and turned, gazing upwards to see Kurt standing at the doors. "Yeah, well, the stage has always been where he and I are most at home," Cooper said dispirited. But at least he knew that much about his brother hadn't changed.

Kurt stepped down the aisle slowly and took the seat behind Cooper, toying with the puppy in his lap as he sat back in the seat. Cooper didn't turn to him, keeping his eyes trained on the stage.

"He loves you, you know," Kurt told him. Cooper's head bowed. "That's why it hurts so much. If he didn't care about you so much he wouldn't care what you said or did. He looked up to you.  _Looks_  up to you," Kurt corrected.

"I've never meant to hurt Blaine," Cooper assured him.

Kurt looked over to Cooper. He didn't see the television star or even the hottest man in the world. He saw only a man who was missing out on a relationship with the one person that Kurt loved more than anyone. And unlike Blaine's father, Kurt knew that Blaine and Cooper needed one another. "Here's one thing I've learned about being bullied. The bruises and the scars of the physical abuse fade. Skin heals quickly. But the words that shatter your soul, they take a hell of a lot longer."

Cooper nodded silently, rubbing his neck the same way that Blaine did when he was anxious. "I shouldn't have treated him like that. I shouldn't have just left, I should have tried to stay involved with him more, taken him out, known what he was doing," Cooper whispered shamefully. If he'd stayed maybe he could have protected him at that dance. Or at least been there for him in the hospital.

"Maybe," Kurt admitted but it wasn't a judgment he was going to make. He stood to resume his search for Blaine. "But the fact is, you're here now. And all Blaine wants is a chance for it to be different between you and him than it is with your father." Kurt walked down the aisle and stepped up to the stage. He turned back to Cooper though with a question that had been plaguing him. "There's only one thing I'm curious about. After Blaine came out to your dad or came home from the hospital after the dance; do you have any idea the way your father treated him? What your father did to him?"

Cooper's heart dropped in his stomach and his face distorted in a panic and it was all the answer that Kurt needed. He hadn't known, but he did now. Kurt left Cooper to his thoughts in the quiet auditorium. Cooper's vision grew fuzzy. Kurt couldn't be saying what he thought. In the back of his mind, he had always feared the possibility but refused to believe that his father would go too far without someone telling him.  _Blaine_  would have told him if things had gotten worse. Wouldn't he? He frantically picked up the phone and called his mother.

"Mom?" he breathed quickly into the phone. "Mom, Kurt just asked me if I knew what Dad did to Blaine after he came out…Mom…and after the hospital…Mom stop crying…Mom, what the hell did Dad do?"

* * *

Blaine flinched at the unfamiliar voice at his locker, momentarily flashing back and shrinking in on himself. Then he saw the puppy, realized it was Kurt and breathed a sigh of relief. His nerves were frazzled. First Cooper grabbing him, now this. It was feeling like the days before he met Kurt and he hated it. He couldn't do this much longer.

"Look, I get it, family stuff is hard," Kurt told him with a pout as he pet the puppy. "Especially between brothers. I mean, Finn and I aren't even real brothers and we pretty much disagree on everything. But, I love the big lug," Kurt's puppy told him and Blaine couldn't help but laugh. "And at the end of the day, we're in each other's corners." That was the problem though. Cooper hadn't been in Blaine's corner in a very long time. "You only get one brother Blaine, don't give up on that," Kurt encouraged.

"He's the one that's leaving," Blaine argued. "Huge audition, you didn't hear about it?"

"Actually," Kurt told him, "he hasn't left yet. He's in the auditorium hoping that you come and talk to him."

Blaine felt his temper flaring again. He was always expected to do all the work. Forgive his father, forgive his mother, forgive Finn and Karofsky, now Cooper. How many times could he put himself out there? How many chances did everyone deserve? "I've tried talking to him. Doesn't really work with him."

Kurt considered that. "Maybe talking's not the answer." Kurt knew Blaine better than he knew himself too. Blaine talked best in song. And there'd been a song he'd heard Blaine humming all week. "Maybe you need to show him how you really feel in the best most honest way you know how."

Blaine rolled his eyes and looked away. And then realized that Kurt was absolutely right. This was his way to tell Cooper everything. He took off for the stage, determined.

_Now and then I think of when we were together_  
_Like when you said you felt so happy you could die_

Blaine had held it all inside for years. Cooper didn't know anything. His father was uncaring when Cooper was around and Blaine wasn't naïve enough to believe that Cooper had escaped his father's harsh discipline, but it wasn't the same. His father didn't  _abuse_  Cooper like he had Blaine. No, Cooper had escaped with harsh words and a trip to the study every now and again, but he was never struck like Blaine, never thrown against the furniture, never…

But there were times when he and Cooper had been together, especially with just their Mom, performing like they had the other day in the choir room, that it had been good.

_So when we found that we could not make sense_  
_Well you said that we would still be friends_  
_But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over_

Cooper was devastated that Kurt and even Santana seemed to know his brother better than he did. There was a time that he knew Blaine inside and out, but when he left it was like he was cut off from the whole family. Even trying to get answers from his mother a few minutes before, she had only cried and told her to talk to Blaine. It had been Cooper's choice to leave. He needed to break free of his father's constant criticism and he thought that leaving would make things better for Blaine. Cooper believed his baby brother had always been their favorite. He'd left precisely to keep Blaine as safe as possible. But he had a terrible feeling that he had failed miserably.

_But you didn't have to cut me off_  
_Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing_  
_And I don't even need your love_  
_But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough_

Cooper had gone to LA and left him to fend for himself with a father still reeling from the effects of war. Blaine knew he wasn't being fair blaming Cooper entirely. Blaine had kept their secrets and he knew that neither Mom nor Dad had ever told him. Cooper didn't know how his father had assaulted him when he came out. Cooper didn't know that his father had added to his bruises only moments after he'd arrived home from the hospital after the Sadie Hawkins dance. Cooper didn't know about the deals he agreed to with his father just to stay with the Warblers. Blaine may have kept the secrets, but in his mind Cooper didn't know because Cooper had never made an effort to know him.

_No you didn't have to stoop so low_  
_Have your friends collect your records and then change your number_  
_I guess that I don't need that though_  
_Now you're just somebody that I used to know  
_

But Cooper had tried. He went to Blaine's Warbler concerts after he transferred to Dalton, and tried to talk to him but Blaine was so angry he would storm away and then Cooper stopped being invited. Cooper tried to call and Blaine wouldn't answer or he'd have his friends tell him he was busy. Blaine had cut him out and he had never understood why. He came back this time to try again to make it better, to be friends, but he grew frightened that it was too late.

_Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over_  
_But had me believing it was always something that I'd done_

Cooper was always starting in on him. It was like he just couldn't give up the chance to taunt his little brother, no matter the consequences. And there were consequences. When their mother caught them she merely separated them, sending Cooper to his room and taking Blaine to help her with whatever she was doing. But their father was a different story. He would take them to the study. It would start with a lecture to Cooper about having better things to do than rile up his little brother and a lecture to Blaine about how he needed to stop whining and stand up for himself because he wasn't raising any sissy boys. It ended with Blaine sore and crying alone in his room, and Cooper... Well, Blaine knew that Cooper always blamed him. He'd always been so angry when it was all done.

_But I don't wanna live that way_  
_Reading into every word you say_  
_You said that you could let it go_  
_And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know  
_

There was no excuse for the way Cooper treated him. Blaine had needed someone in his corner. Someone to just love him unconditionally, all his imperfections and all his foibles. He shouldn't have had to wait until he was sixteen years old to find someone who could just love him no matter what. With all his heart, Blaine wanted it to be better. He wanted to be closer. He needed Cooper to know what he'd been through, what he had left him to deal with. He needed Cooper to change and be the big brother that he had always wanted, but Blaine feared that he would never change.

_But you didn't have to cut me off_  
_Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing_  
_And I don't even need your love_  
_But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough_

Cooper needed to make this better again. He always remembered the little brother that he played with and danced with but it seemed like when Blaine went to Dalton he had thrown their whole childhood away. He wasn't the same little boy he'd left when their father came back.

_And you didn't have to stoop so low_  
_Have your friends collect your records and then change your number_  
_I guess that I don't need that though_  
_Now you're just somebody that I used to know_

Cooper should have been there for him all along. He never should have left Blaine alone with their father. If he had been around than Cooper would have known him well enough and been around enough to  _ **know**_ what was going on. To protect him or save him. But instead he'd just caused Blaine to push him even further away. And now they were strangers.

_Somebody_

Part of Blaine hated him. For leaving. For not protecting him.

_Now you're just somebody that I used to know_

Cooper saw the hate and it came at him like daggers. And his heart broke. He walked to his brother wanting nothing more than to understand. To be given another chance to love him and protect him like a big brother should.

_I used to know, Somebody_

They stepped toward each other, scared, but wanting desperately to try. To tell the truth, to know the truth. To fix this. To be brothers again and to be friends.

"Was it ever real for you?" Blaine asked, his eyes squinted with years of pain. "Did you ever care for me, or was I just a nuisance to put up with until you could leave?"

"Blaine," Cooper's brow furrowed in confusion. How could Blaine not know how much he cared for him? "Things were bad for me at home Blaine. I didn't want to leave you but I had to," Cooper justified. His father was strict and demanding and impossible to please. "As tiny as you were, you were always caught in the middle. I was always getting you in trouble." Cooper had run from that guilt his entire adult life. He should have protected Blaine better. When their Dad came home from the war, Cooper truly believed it would be better if he left for good. He wouldn't instigate trouble then. "You don't remember how it was. I needed to get out. I thought it was better for you without me around."

"I don't remember?" Blaine spat incredulously, his pulse pounding in his ears. "You think things were better for me? Get a fucking clue, Cooper. You left me and cut me off to run off to your world of parties and land of make believe where you could just be perfect all the time and forget all about me! You never even asked me how I was doing! And now you just come waltzing back in like a hero? Well I found my own way out, Cooper, I don't need you here! "

"Don't act like the helpless little boy still. You cut me off too, Blaine!" Cooper yelled. "I tried to stay in touch with you. I would call home, you wouldn't talk to me. I understand that you were mad at me, but what the hell was I supposed to do when I'd sit on one end of the phone and all you'd ever say was  _'I'm fine'_?"

"Come back for me!" Blaine shouted. "You knew how he was, you knew when he came back from overseas what you had left me with and you didn't come back for me!"

"No, Blaine, I didn't!" Cooper looked back at his brother, eyes filled with shock. "You think I know? I don't know anything Blaine. I learned from Santana about the attack at your school and then Kurt asked me if I know what Dad did to you. I tried to ask Mom, but she just cried. Jesus Christ Blaine, how am I supposed to know anything when all you do is hide from me?"

They turned from each other, the intensity too much. Blaine knew he was right. He had wanted Cooper to rescue him but it was just as much his fault as Cooper's that he was kept in the dark. Cooper shook his head in shame. The fact was, he had chosen to turn a blind eye to what might be happening. Just looking at Blaine, he recognized that he'd been horribly wrong. And though he couldn't go back, he could pretend like they used to. He turned back. Blaine was closed in on himself, his back to Cooper. Blaine couldn't even look at him.

"Can we go back a year?" Cooper asked guardedly.

Blaine dropped his head quietly. It was a game they used to play. As kids, when everything would go wrong, they would "go back" and do it over again. While they couldn't undo what they had done, they could at least pretend to fix it. And somehow it had always had the power to make things right again. That was a long time ago though, and nothing could really make this right. Too much had happened. A year ago had been Regionals. Blaine's fear of admitting his love for Kurt and losing everything. His grades dropping. His father threatening to take him out of the Warblers. Nothing Cooper could do now could change any of that. But Blaine needed him to know what he'd failed to protect him from and he just couldn't get the words out of his mouth any other way. Like with Kurt months ago, they'd been imprisoned too long. "Sure," he sighed.

Cooper took a chair from the band and turned it around backwards, straddling it and leaning his elbows on the back of the chair. "Hi Blaine, how are you?" he asked with the casual nature that hid his nerves with every phone call.

"Fine," Blaine lied instinctively. That was how it had always gone. Cooper was right. If that's how he answered, how was his brother ever to know the truth? But not this time. They were going back. He grabbed another chair and sat across from him.

Cooper had never pushed him before, not really wanting to know the truth. Instead he had ignored the pain in his brother's voice and chalked it up to teenage angst. But those days were done, he needed to hear the truth. "No really," Cooper pushed. "How  _are_  you?"

Blaine stared into Cooper's blue eyes, his own amber darkening with memories. "Not fine," he answered crestfallen.

Cooper's heart raced as he asked the question he couldn't stand the answer to. "How has Dad been treating you since he's been back?"

Blaine's eyes flashed to a long walk up the stairs of his father's house as he chose the Warblers over his own safety. Tears began to wet his cheeks. "Not good," he admitted brokenly.

Cooper's heart raced in anticipation of the answer he knew was coming. "Is he hurting you?"

Blaine lowered his eyes, studying a loose thread on his pants. "Yes," he confessed barely above a whisper.

Cooper's breath caught in his throat. He looked away for a moment, blinking back the tears he felt no right to shed. Shame filled his heart, knowing that it was his fault. He hadn't wanted it to be true. The guilt suddenly overwhelmed him, guessing what things must have been like for Blaine once their Dad returned, wondering just how badly things had gotten. As the years went by, he had hoped that the person who had never protected him was finally able to protect his little brother. "What is Mom doing for you?" Cooper asked.

"Nothing," Blaine said harshly and his eyes snapped back to Cooper's as he jumped out of his chair. "She walks out the door. Just like you. And neither of you think to take me with you!"

Cooper felt Blaine's words like a punch in the gut and he rose out of his chair. "Dammit Blaine, you never asked! And it's not like he would have just let me take you to California! What the hell was I suppose to do?"

"I don't know," Blaine yelled. "Maybe tell me how you got the hell out?"

Cooper took a breath and swallowed hard. He hadn't found a way out until he'd been eighteen. He didn't have an answer for sixteen year old Blaine. He sat back down and returned to a year ago. "Do you have somewhere you can go? Someone you can talk to? Maybe at Dalton?" It should have been him. He should have done something. But that he couldn't change.

Blaine turned away. A year ago. Nick had figured it out after that visit home, but Blaine made him promise not to tell. He should have gone to Kurt then, but he'd been terrified. If he had only known then what he knew now….he sat back down. "Yes, but I'm scared."

"Scared of what?" Cooper begged, instinctively taking his brother's hand. He sighed with relief when Blaine did not pull away.

"Losing everything." It had been Blaine's biggest fear.

"Look at me Blaine," Cooper urged, and Blaine met his gaze. He spoke from his own experience the words he should have said a year ago, maybe even five years ago. "You may lose some things. Important things," he emphasized as he squeezed Blaine's hand. The most important thing he had lost was Blaine. "But there's a bigger and better world out there. And this special someone…Kurt is his name?" he asked with a knowing smile.

Blaine blushed slightly and nodded. "Yes."

"Kurt will help you find it." Cooper willed Blaine to listen to him and believe him. "You can  _do_  this Blaine."

Cooper let go of Blaine's hand and leaned back grasping the back of the chair, suddenly shying out of the game. Blaine still watched him. Cooper looked down embarrassed. "Would that have helped?" he asked uneasily.

"Yeah," Blaine responded sadly.

Cooper arched his brow and caught Blaine's eye. "Does it still help?" he asked hopefully. He couldn't go back, but he would do what he needed to do for Blaine now.

Blaine reached over and settled his hands on top of Cooper's. He didn't want things to still be that way between them anymore. He wanted things to change. His eyes shined and he smiled slightly. "Yes."

Cooper lit up at the first genuine smile Blaine had given him in years. "Even though we don't live in the same town and don't see each other all the time, we're not just brothers, right?" he asked and Blaine could see the desperate hope in Cooper's eyes. "We're friends too."

"That's exactly what I've always wanted us to be Coop," Blaine said softly.

Cooper's eyes filled with tears.  He got up and pulled Blaine to him, wrapping his little brother safely in his arms.  He knew that this time he would protect him from whatever else may come his way. Blaine smiled, feeling home again with his brother, something that he had not felt in a very long time.

"Blaine," Cooper asked softly. Blaine pulled away, wiping away tears slightly, almost relieved to see Cooper do the same. Their eyes met and Cooper's blue bore into Blaine's. "What did Dad do?"

Blaine looked away, fear and shame filling him. But it was time. Blaine led him to the edge of the stage and they sat. Slowly but surely, Blaine told him everything.

Santana and Kurt had been right. This was very much worth the fight.


	19. Saturday Night Gleever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After watching Saturday Night Gleever, I was completely uninspired. I'd planned on skipping it. But the Kurt, Blaine and Santana in my head said "Hell to the No" and they wrote this. So for good or bad, blame them.
> 
> I do not own Glee. Or Disco. Thank goodness.

Blaine jumped off the stage excitedly as Kurt grabbed his bag and raced up the auditorium stairs without a glance to Blaine. Eyeing Kurt oddly, Blaine quickly grabbed his things from the seat just abandoned by his boyfriend and hurried behind him.

"Kurt," he called, but Kurt's eyes stayed forward as he reached the top and flung the door open. Blaine caught the door before it closed and jogged up next to the seemingly irate young man. "Kurt, Kurt, what are you doing?"

"Ignoring you," Kurt snarked.

Blaine laughed nervously. "Why? Did I do something wrong?" Blaine couldn't take Kurt's silent treatment any longer and grabbed his arm, bringing them to a stop in the middle of the hallway. "Kurt talk to me."

Kurt stared at him annoyed. "Disco, Blaine? Really?" Blaine stared back in disbelief, then closed his eyes and chuckled. Sometimes Kurt was a bigger drama queen than Rachel. Blaine pursed his lips in amusement allowing Kurt to finish his rant. "It's one thing to 'boogie on down' in the privacy of your own bedroom," Kurt mocked Blaine's 70's dancing while he talked, "but it is entirely something else to force the rest of the glee club to endure you and Mr. Schuester's love of disco."

Blaine took Kurt's hand softly and swung it between them. "I thought you loved our disco nights?" Blaine flirted lowly.

Kurt blushed but held his ground. "I love those nights because of you. Doesn't make the disco suck any less."

"Casper is right, Boyfriend, this time you've gone too far." Santana suddenly snuck up between the boys and placed her hands on her hips staring Blaine down. "There is no place in this glee club for disco. And I don't appreciate you manipulating my girlfriend into swinging her pretty little hips to those beats. Those were three minutes of her life that she will never get back and she should have been using them to dance to something awesome."

Blaine just stared back and forth from his boyfriend to his best friend. "You two are unbelievable. I will have you know that 70's music had some of the most innovative sounds and production techniques that have led to…"

"Shut him up please," Santana begged Kurt. "Put those cherry red lips on his and shut him up before he starts talking about how disco saved the world." She turned back to Blaine and stuck a finger in his face. "You want to serenade your boy and shake your booty to disco in the bedroom? I'm ok with that. If that's what it takes to spice up your no doubt pitifully boring sex life I say do what you need to do." Blaine and Kurt shot her an annoyed glances, but she continued. "But leave the disco out of glee club."

Santana walked off and caught up to Brittany, putting her arm immediately around the girl's waist. Blaine and Kurt stared at each other, nearly a foot between them, and frowned. "We're not boring, are we?" Kurt asked nervously.

Blaine wanted nothing more than to wrap his arm around Kurt, slip his hand in Kurt's back pocket and reassure him, but Kurt remained hesitant with memories of dumpsters and slushies fixed firmly in his mind. Instead he gingerly rubbed Kurt's arms. "We're not boring at all. Come on, don't let Santana get to you. My house or yours?" Blaine asked.

Kurt thought about Finn and Rachel at his house versus a likely empty apartment at Blaine's. "Definitely yours," he smiled as they walked out. "But no disco playlist!" he insisted.

Blaine smiled. "Katy Perry and Pink it is," he said and Kurt rolled his eyes. They definitely needed to spice things up a bit.

* * *

They sat sprawled in the living room after school at Kurt's empty house doing homework. Burt and Carole were both at work and Finn and Sam were spending the afternoon in the weight room working off their women problems.

"I think he should do it," Blaine said definitively. Kurt looked at him like he was crazy and he threw innocent eyes back. "What? I think if Wade wants to go on that stage as Unique, he should."

"Blaine Anderson, have you gone out of your mind?" Kurt screeched. "Have you already forgotten your Sadie Hawkins dance, dumpsters, slushies, Prom, Karofsky for heaven's sake? Wade's just asking to get himself booed, beaten up or worse!"

"So he should pretend to be someone he's not just to keep himself safe?" Blaine had done it for years, but he was done. Talking to Cooper about everything that had happened made him realize that despite the tremendous pain and suffering it had caused him, going to the Sadie Hawkins dance with a boy had been one of the proudest moments of his life. "It sucks living in the closet Kurt, believe me. And it may be safer denying who you are, but it feels horrible."

"I know that Blaine. I may have had it better than you at home, but I still know that." Kurt felt like his closet never really had a door that shut. Though he tried to deny it to himself for years, the world around him knew even before he did. Kurt blinked then buried his face in his hands. "It's horrible that we live in a time and a place where he can't just wear what he wants and not have any repercussions, but we do and he seems like a nice kid and I just don't want to see anyone else get hurt. I think we've all had enough of that."

Blaine wrapped Kurt in his arms and kissed the top of his head. "I love that you want to protect him, even though Coach Sylvester wants him eaten by the sharks. But sometimes we have to take chances. And sometimes we have to do what's right, no matter what might come our way. Be a fighter." Blaine smiled and kissed his lips softly as his eyes darkened and his lids grew heavy. "That's what you taught me. No matter who has ever tried to beat me down, you've encouraged me to rise above it."

Kurt bit his lip and nodded.

"Dance with me," Blaine said.

"What?" Kurt startled. "Now?"

"No, in class. Dance with me. For disco. And not like we normally do in the choir room. Like we do here, where no one is watching."

"Blaine!" Kurt protested, his face growing red.

"I don't mean  _that,_  Mr. Dirty Mind," he laughed as he tickled Kurt's sides. Kurt laughed and fell back on the floor begging for a truce. Blaine straddled Kurt's sprawled out body and stopped, kissing him a little more strongly on the lips before settling back on his heels atop Kurt's hips. "Seriously Kurt. Cooper made me realize that I'm too strong to be hiding all the time. Dance with me in the choir room. Close. Like we do here."

Kurt looked up at Blaine and nervously nodded his head. It was becoming more and more difficult to say no to those sparkling eyes.

* * *

"Ok everyone," Mr. Schuester grinned at the top of the class. He circled around so he could see everyone, the chairs set up around the dance floor. "Our second finalist will be singing for you all today. Everyone please give a warm welcome to Ms. Santana Lopez!"

Santana smiled as she stepped onto the stage, stealing a glance to Blaine. He winked at her and she smiled back before turning to Brittany. They'd discussed the song last night. Blaine thought it was perfect and today he thought she looked beautiful.

_Don't know why_   
_I'm surviving every lonely day_   
_When there's got to be_   
_no chance for me_   
_My life would end_

Brittany thought she looked stunning. It always amazed her that someone as smart and witty and sexy as Santana would love her as much as she did and Brittany was forever pledging that she would do anything for her girlfriend. She loved Santana more than anyone in the world, except maybe Lord Tubbington, but he could be just as frustrating as Santana at times and Santana forgave her more easily. That was why she would do anything within her power for the girl that loved her.

_And it doesn't matter how I try_   
_I gave it all so easily_   
_to you my love_   
_To dreams that never_   
_will come true_   
_Am I strong enough to_   
_see it through?_   
_Go crazy is what I will do_

Santana wanted it all, fame and fortune, and most of all she wanted Brittany by her side. Brittany was her biggest cheerleader, an amazing lover and the perfect friend. It had always been so difficult to give her love to anyone; Puck, Finn, Sam, there was always a war inside her heart with them. With Brittany, everything was easy. She knew that as long as Brittany was with her, she could do anything she ever dreamed of.

_If I can't have you_   
_I don't want nobody, baby_   
_If I can't have you_   
_If I can't have you_   
_I don't want nobody, baby_   
_If I can't have you  
_

Kurt smiled at Brittany, so amazingly in love with Santana. He would never understand it, but then again he did, because despite everything he felt like he would stay by Blaine's side as long as he let him. He glanced over and for a moment his heart sunk as he remembered how far apart they might be next year. But he knew that they would deal with things as they came. Blaine had reassured him in the past that he'd be okay, and though Kurt certainly worried about him, he knew, as his father said, that if their relationship was meant to be than they would survive whatever was thrown their way.

_If I can't have you_   
_I don't want nobody, baby_   
_If I can't have you_   
_If I can't have you_   
_I don't want nobody, baby_   
_If I can't have you  
_

Blaine was so proud of Santana, singing to Brittany. She had grown so much this year and though he knew that Brittany was the biggest factor, he was glad he could be a part of it. He kept his eyes trained on her, because looking at Kurt right then would hurt too much. He tried to keep positive about New York and NYADA and he tried to be the supportive boyfriend that he knew he should be, but he couldn't help the worries that Kurt would break his heart as so many others had. It helped, having Cooper back in his life, trying with his Dad, knowing that broken could be mended. But he also knew that broken hurt and he'd been hurt enough. They'd barely talked about it, but the final decisions were soon to be made. They'd have to talk about it eventually.

_If I can't have you_  
__  


* * *

Blaine slipped into the booth at the jazz club next to Santana and ordered his regular drink. It was their weekly "girl's night out". Kurt and Mercedes had gone to the Vocal Adrenaline Regionals performance to watch Wade. Blaine hoped that Kurt would support Unique.

The singer tonight at the club was one of their favorites, a soulful woman who reminded Blaine of the girl sitting next to him, with ten years of experience and wisdom added in. Because times like now, he just did not understand anything that went on in the gorgeous, intelligent, and constantly defensive mind of hers.

"Could you stop staring at me like that Anderson? What the hell?" Santana snapped. Since the moment he walked in, Blaine had been watching her, examining her, doing very little to hide the deep disappointment that radiated from honey colored eyes that usually either hated or adored her. This was new and she didn't like it.

"A sex tape Santana?" he asked with a sad disbelief. "Seriously?"

"Hey, don't knock it 'till you've tried it, Boyfriend," Santana quipped. "Ain't nothing better than watching my girl making love. You and Kurt might want to try it. You're going to be spending some long, lonely nights together when Porcelain's in the city that never sleeps. A visual may do you both some good."

Blaine looked embarrassingly at his fingers. "That would be illegal, Santana," he muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

"Yeah well, disco should be too, but you like that," she answered smartly, taking a sip of her drink.

Blaine ignored her. "Look, I don't care that you did it, that's between you and Britt. But what the hell are you doing putting it out there for everyone to see?" he asked earnestly.

Santana looked away. "Yeah well, not everyone's as prudish as you and Kurt."

Their food arrived and Blaine put a quick halt to the conversation, thanking the server until he left. He turned back to Santana.

"We're not prudish Santana," he argued, "we're careful. Some things are private." He looked at her, and her cheeks were reddened. There was something here he was missing. He took her hand and she glanced over at him. "Why would you want fame that badly?"

Santana exhaled and shook her head slightly. "Brittany put it out. I didn't. I wouldn't," she admitted. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have said I would do anything in front of Brittany. I just meant that fame was my dream."

"But why?" Blaine asked, and squeezed her hand so she would meet his eyes. "Mr. Schuester's right, fame isn't something you aspire to. Santana, you can do anything you put your mind to. And whatever that is can bring you fame, because the key to fame is being the best at what you do. I could see you a hot shot attorney prosecuting the most heinous and notorious criminals." Santana chuckled that, as always, Blaine and Mr. Schuester were on the same page. He continued. "You have people who love you because they know who you are. And as you go through life there are going to be so many more. You don't need the love of strangers to feel good about yourself. That's the old Santana."

"The old Santana," she mimicked with an eye roll, then laid her head on his shoulders. "Where did the old Blaine and Santana go?" she mused aloud.

Blaine shrugged. "We grew up I guess." He kissed her on the head and snuggled her close as their food arrived. Santana picked up a pea from her plate, placed it on her fork and flung it at Blaine catching him on the nose. She couldn't help but laugh hysterically as he picked up a French Fry and threw it at her.

"Grown up as we are, apparently we still have a long way to go," she chortled as they comfortably settled in for their evening of jazz.

* * *

"Oh my god, I look fantastic," Kurt said to himself, as he watched himself twirl in the mirror of the choir room. Polyester aside, the white Saturday Night Fever outfit hugged him in every perfect place.

Blaine couldn't agree more, and he strolled over to his boyfriend with eyes quickly darkening. Kurt was his angel and he looked simply heavenly in the suit. He took Kurt's hand and his heart skipped a beat. "You are the most gorgeous man alive," Blaine whispered lowly in his ear.

Kurt's face flushed with desire as Mr. Schuester called them. "Alright, everyone on stage, let's get the fever!"

Kurt rolled his eyes as he and Blaine followed the rest of the glee club out onto the stage.

Throughout the performance, Kurt and Blaine snuck furtive glances in the other's directions, their desires growing instead of waning. Kurt still hated disco, but he had to admit that Blaine in chains and bellbottoms could have been one of the sexiest things he'd ever seen.

Kurt could barely stand still during the mountainous praise Mr. Schuester heaped on them when it was over. He had only one thing on his mind.

Blaine reveled in the performance, thinking it would be perfect for Regionals, then wondered if that was really the best idea. He'd scolded Finn last year for his unprofessionalism and knew it would take all his own willpower to keep his hands off Kurt if he ever saw him in that outfit again. He eyed Kurt who appeared flush, but he dismissed it as exertion. After all, Kurt couldn't possibly be thinking what he was.

Returning to the choir room, Kurt whispered in Blaine's ear, "Keep the suit on." His cyan eyes were mischievous and a fire sparked in Blaine's stomach. Blaine gathered his things slowly, waiting for Kurt and trying to look nonchalant while his heart beat strongly in his ears.

Kurt sent quick text to Finn and his father.

_From Kurt: Going out with Blaine. Don't wait for us. Be home late._

He ignored Finn's side-eye as he got the text, but sent daggers in his brother's direction when Finn started to come over to argue. It was Friday night dinner. They would miss it. It would be worth it.

Kurt slung his satchel over his shoulder and grabbed Blaine's hand. "Come with me," he flirted.

Blaine followed with anticipation so fierce it was burning a hole in his gut. Kurt took him left instead of right and Blaine's brow furrowed. "The parking lot is that way, Love," he laughed.

"We're not going to the parking lot," Kurt seduced and Blaine's knees barely held out. Kurt led him back to the auditorium, and glanced around quickly before silently opening the door and closing it ever so gently behind them. It was pitch dark backstage and on, and Kurt led him through the wings to the other side, pulling out his cell phone to light the way. He squeezed Blaine's hand tightly, smiling with both satisfaction and pure lust as he nearly dragged Blaine up the rickety stairs to the alcove above the stage.

"Oh my god, Kurt," Blaine said breathlessly but he barely got the words out because Kurt dropped his satchel and cell phone to the floor and swiftly pressed Blaine between himself and the wall, pushing his lips ferociously against Blaine's.

Blaine moaned into the kiss, as his blood ran hot through his body, heading to all the right places. He happily gave Kurt the lead, but wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist to pull his hips in even tighter. When he paused for breath he opened his eyes to see Kurt's cell phone skittering across the floor as it vibrated.

"Should you get that?" he whimpered between mind-blowing kisses as Kurt's mouth went to work on his neck and his fingers went to work on his buttons.

"It's just my Dad calling to yell," Kurt said dismissively.

"Shit, Kurt, it's Friday. You're going to get in so much trouble for missing dinner," Blaine said with shaky breath.

"Correction my love," Kurt hummed as he nibbled his way further down. " _We_  are going to get in trouble for missing dinner. But I promise it will be completely worth it." He glanced up teasingly. "Unless you want me to stop."

Blaine threw his head back. "Oh god, don't you dare," he groaned. "You've been promising this night for months now, even the wrath of Burt Hummel can't make me give it up."

Kurt laughed and resumed his ministrations where he had left off. Blaine closed his eyes and gave into every sensation. Blaine knew he was in no need of a video. This moment would be etched into his memory for a lifetime.

* * *

Blaine was still on cloud nine when he dug his keys out of his satchel, and unlocked the front door, letting himself in to the dark apartment. He'd decided not to go back to the house with Kurt, choosing to face Burt's wrath another day and let Kurt be reprimanded in peace. He flung the keys on the kitchen counter and switched the light on with a sigh. He grabbed the note on the kitchen table.

_Blaine,_

_Working late tonight. I left a casserole in the fridge for you. Heat it up in the microwave for 2 minutes. Please do your homework and go to bed at a reasonable time. I love you and will see you in the morning._

_Love, Mom_

Blaine went to the fridge and pulled out the casserole dish, humming to himself as he scooped some into a bowl and setting it in the microwave. He kicked off his shoes and headed to his room to change into sweats and a t-shirt while his dinner cooked. He took his math homework out and completed the twenty pre-calculus equations while he ate, then grabbed Hamlet, his assigned reading for English. He'd read it before, but he didn't mind reading it again. Better preparation for the day he knew he'd be performing the role, whether it was a college class or on stage. College. The day couldn't come quickly enough.

His cell rang in his pocket and he reached in to answer it.

"Hey, Santana! What's up?"

"Blaine, you are never going to believe what happened! Coach Sylvester and Brittany applied to the University of Louisville for me and I got in with a full ride scholarship! I would have called you earlier, but Britt and I have been," she cleared her throat, "celebrating for the last few hours."

Blaine closed his eyes, pressing the phone to his ear, as his heart sunk to the floor. One more person, gone. "That's great, Santana." He tried to be happy, but his heart wasn't in it.

"Now don't go getting teary-eyed on me Boyfriend. It's only four hours away and I'm always on the other end of the phone," she said firmly but with sympathy.

"Yeah," he attempted to brush away the hurt to be happy for her. "Yeah of course. No, Tana, really, that's amazing. I'm really, really proud of you."

She heard the hurt in his voice and understood. Blaine had been abandoned and betrayed more often than was fair for anyone and she'd just be one more person on his list. But she had to do this. "It's my way out Blaine. I'm actually getting out of Lima," she said quietly, and Blaine could hear her own amazement. She feigned all the confidence in the world to the outside, but he knew that she had never truly thought she'd actually do it.

"I know. I love you, Tana," he whispered as he blinked back the tears.

Santana paused for a moment with surprise, before responding with a smile. "Back atcha, Boyfriend," she said warmly.

Blaine ended the call and put the phone down. The silence of his empty apartment was deafening.

He called Cooper, but his brother was sitting in a sea of actors waiting to be called in for an audition and couldn't talk, but promised to call back tomorrow. Blaine put his dirty dishes away then went to his bedroom, throwing the phone on the bed.

Kurt was going to New York. Santana was going to Kentucky. Cooper was in LA. Mike and Mercedes and Rachel and Puck and Finn were going off to follow their dreams and he was stuck another year here in Lima, Ohio with two parents who barely ever had time for him. There had been other times in his life when he had felt utterly alone, but this was the worst. Now there were people out there who loved him and who he loved, and they were all about to be just out of reach. He tried to lie down to sleep, but he tossed and turned with racing thoughts.

Giving up, he went to the living room, grabbing a movie off the shelf and putting it in the DVD player. Saturday Night Fever. He settled into the couch, curling up with a blanket, and imagined.

One more year, and it would be his turn for his dreams to come true.


	20. Dance with Somebody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys like this one. Dance With Somebody was absolute perfection as far as Klaine goes and perfect episodes are so much harder for me to write. Please be gentle with me in regards to the episode scenes. Capturing Chris and Darren's incredible talent and translating into words is incredibly challenging. Everything in this episode, written or not, *is* a part of this chapter except for Blaine's one line "I transferred schools for you." My response to canon Blaine regarding that is – you can't ride that wave forever!
> 
> This chapter would not be what it is without my BFF Jessie Rae, who really helped me get to the depth of Blaine's hurt in the bedroom scene and provided me inspiration for his acceptance later on.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, nor do I own "In His Eyes" from Jekyll and Hyde, from which I have stolen a great many words and sentiment.

Blaine always went over to Kurt's house when they had something scheduled, but he kept his heart tucked away, especially when the constant discussions of NYADA and New York inevitably arose. He didn't reach out. He stopped texting, he stopped flirting. He loved Kurt, more than anything in the world. And that was the problem. It all hurt too much.

The list of people he loved that had betrayed and left him was growing far too long for Blaine to bear. His harsh but loving father went off to war and returned with hatred in his heart. Cooper left for the bright lights and cameras of LA, abandoning Blaine when he needed him most. His mother did her best, but she had never protected him then and was never there for him now. His friends at school turned their back on him when he came out, then his friends at Dalton turned on him the minute he left.

But Kurt was truly his angel. He only ever had love in his heart, he was there for him, protected him, held him when he cried, calmed the rage, loved him when he thought himself unlovable. Kurt had never betrayed him. And the thought of losing him, of being alone in a world that seemed to constantly turn its back on Blaine Anderson, was too much. It was so much that he knew he needed to start preparing.

So he hung out with the guys more. Sure, they were leaving too but it didn't matter as much, not like Kurt and Santana. The jazz club chat sessions were hard enough. He was growing to really love the place, not to mention Santana's biting honesty and sense of humor, and there would be no one next year to go with. But being close to Kurt was killing him. He wanted to remember the night in the auditorium forever. It was the most exhilarating and yet tender experience they'd had together, and Blaine couldn't help but feel that it was the perfect note to end on if it was going to end. And in his heart, he couldn't help but believe it truly would end and next year he would be alone.

No, pizza and video games at Puck's house with Finn and Sam were a hell of a lot easier to say goodbye to.

* * *

"I am so going to kick your ass in Mario Kart today, Anderson," Puck challenged as he grabbed a slice of pepperoni and onion and shoved it in his mouth.

"You think so?" Blaine answered, but there was no energy in it. His mind kept drifting to Kurt.

A month ago he would have gone to the music store with him. They would have spent hours searching the racks, arguing between Barbra Streisand and Pink and Roxy, laughing and joking, finally settling on something they'd sing together the whole way home.

His Kart drove off the path of Rainbow Road over and over as tears shimmered in his eyes. He quickly blinked them away, focusing his mind on the task at hand, beating Puck and Finn and Sam. The guys were fun, but they weren't Kurt, his best friend, the love of his life.

The day went into night and the boys went their own ways. Blaine headed home. He had waited and waited for Kurt's text that he was done at the store. But it never came.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine went through the next two days pretending everything was okay, but they couldn't help but feel the other inexplicably slipping through their fingers. When Kurt invited him over for a movie, Blaine accepted with mixed feelings.

"Hey Blaine," Sam said warily as he let Blaine inside the Hummel home. "Kurt's up in his room waiting for you."

Sam's apprehension certainly didn't ease the concerns that plagued Blaine on the drive over. He hadn't missed Sam and Kurt during Glee today, huddled over Kurt's phone. Blaine had walked in late to the choir room, his math teacher keeping him after class, to see Kurt and Sam sitting together. The seat next to Kurt had been empty but it was apart from Kurt. Blaine took it, but didn't pull it closer. It seemed fitting. Together but apart.

Kurt had paid no attention to Blaine as he sat glued to his phone. It had been like that for two days now. His own phone was virtually silent. Blaine had hoped when he'd seen Kurt giggling over his cell earlier in the hallway that it was Brittany or Mercedes or even Rachel, but all of their friends were in the choir room and no one else had their phone out. The only other person he could think of was Karofsky. He knew that David still often talked to Kurt and Blaine had accepted that. Kurt had shown him their conversations, with David's permission, and they were always supportive and friendly. He was proud that Kurt could be that kind of person and if the texts were David needing him, he could respect it. Still though, it wasn't at all like Kurt to not pay attention in glee club, especially to Santana and Rachel performing together. And Blaine had to admit that as strange a pairing as it was, their performance was incredible.

He had tried to lean over to whisper to Kurt, but Kurt paid him no attention, sharing the texts with Sam instead. It was killing Blaine. Kurt wasn't even gone yet and it was already like Blaine wasn't even there. Blaine had thought that was what he wanted, to get used to being alone, but there was one thing he hadn't realized. The only thing harder than thinking about living without Kurt was watching Kurt live happily without him.

He pushed his feelings away and smiled at Sam.  "Thanks," he said as he walked into the living room to say hi to Finn. He rubbed his hands together mischievously and grabbed a chip from the bowl that no doubt Sam and Finn had left out. It looked like they were having a movie afternoon as well, probably something with cars blowing up or the world ending. Finn sat on the couch and automatically smacked his hand away from the bowl. "Go get your own food Anderson, I am sure Kurt has a feast planned for you. This bowl's for those of us without dates this evening."

Blaine grabbed a chip anyway, munching on it before starting to make his way toward the stairs. "Rachel busy tonight?"

"NYADA rehearsal with her Dads," Finn grumbled and Blaine understood the sentiment. Neither Kurt nor Rachel could go five minutes without talking about their audition.

"Hey, um, that reminds me Blaine," Sam said tentatively and Blaine could see the discomfort in his face. "Can we talk for a minute?"

Blaine looked at him nervously. "Yeah, sure Sam, what's up?"

Sam walked off to the kitchen for some privacy and to grab a soda from the fridge and Blaine followed. "So, I don't really want to get in the middle of things, but…" he hedged, before continuing. "Have things been okay between you and Kurt lately?"

Blaine's heart sunk in his chest. He knew. He knew during Glee when Kurt giggled and his cheeks blushed in a way that had always been reserved for Blaine. He felt like he was watching his whole world crumble before his eyes and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He had already prepared for it but he needed to be told what he already knew and Kurt was telling him nothing. "The texts aren't from Karofsky, are they?"

Sam looked at him sadly.  Blaine's eyes filled with fear and pain. Sam didn't think he should be the one to tell him what Kurt was up to, though he was shocked at the messages he'd seen and he thought Blaine should definitely be told. But it wasn't his place. "Talk to Kurt, Blaine," Sam said, and he returned to the living room without another word.

Blaine made his way slowly up the stairs, almost wanting to turn and run, when he caught Kurt's excited face and his heart melted.

"Hey handsome," Kurt flitted toward him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "I'm going to go get the cheese platter, I'll be right back, set the movie up."

Blaine glanced at the phone on Kurt's nightstand but went to his shelf to grab the disc. The phone buzzed once while he put the movie in the blue-ray. He turned to stare at it when it buzzed again. He slowly made his way to the bed as it buzzed a third time and he sat down and closed his eyes. He kept his hands folded on his lap. He wasn't that type of boyfriend, he'd drilled the importance of privacy into Kurt's head for over a year now. And besides, Kurt didn't keep secrets from him, they trusted one another. But when it buzzed again the phone was in his hand and he stared at his worst fears realized.

"Ok, I've got the cheese plate," Kurt bounced into the room. "Our Being Bobby Brown marathon can officially begin."

"Who's Chandler?" Blaine could barely breathe, barely put the words together, his heart broken into pieces. He looked up at Kurt, completely lost.

Kurt stopped. Panic and guilt ripped through him and he deflected defensively. "Why are you going through my phone?"

Blaine sat in shock, not even sure in what universe this was all happening. "I'm not going through your phone, it's just that it keeps buzzing because," he was unable to say the name without his heart leaping into his throat. "Chandler won't stop texting you."

He read the texts out loud, looking for Kurt to say something that would make it all make sense and not have it be what it obviously is. Kurt reached for his phone and Blaine stepped away from Kurt's touch, needing to say what he had to say.

"Why are you getting so upset, this is all innocent," Kurt tried to calm Blaine before his anger built.

"This is cheating, Kurt." The words alone nearly killed him.

Kurt could try to deny it all he wanted but the proof was in his hand. His jaw clenched and his eyes blazed as anger threatened to overwhelm him and then he suddenly realized: Kurt liked this guy.

He wondered what he had done, but he knew exactly what he had done. He had pushed Kurt away in order to keep himself safe and he had pushed him straight into the arms of another man. It didn't matter what he had done in the past, all the things he had done for Kurt and because of Kurt. It didn't matter how many times he had called Kurt his angel, was there more he still could have done?

He tried to get Kurt to talk to him but no matter what he said, Kurt continued to deny what he had done. Blaine hadn't realized his heart could break anymore, but all the pieces of his heart shattered even more as Kurt tried to convince him that it was all ok.

"It's not right," Blaine said firmly, as he gaped at the boy he loved and suddenly wondered if he had ever really known him. "But it's ok?" he asked, incredulous. He stared, trying to restart this conversation, trying to erase it all. He wanted to turn back time and go to the music shop with him and erase this guy Chandler from the plane of existence. But he couldn't do any of those things. "I have to go."

"Wait!" Kurt jumped up and grabbed Blaine's hand. "Blaine, don't leave," he nearly begged.

Blaine ripped his hand away, his face twisted with anger and hurt. "You were the one person. The ONE person, Kurt, who never betrayed me. I honestly don't know what to do right now, but I know I can't stay."

Blaine didn't hear Kurt's breath hitch behind him as he slammed Kurt's door and raced down the stairs and out the front door. He ignored Sam's knowing look and Finn's worried one. He got into his car and peeled out of the driveway, hitting the highway without any thought to his destination. The signs were blurry through his tears, his foot was heavy on the gas pedal and his car raced with the strength of his anger. He had nowhere to go, no place that belonged just to him. Lima, Westerville, Dalton, the jazz club, even Scandals was filled with memories of people who had betrayed him. He was trapped in a prison of loneliness.

So he just drove for hours. The sun went down and the moon lit his way. When his tank was near empty he filled it and headed back to Lima, but still he did not go home. He pulled into an empty parking lot and blasted his IPod well past curfew. One song on repeat and he killed it every time. Whitney would be proud.

He closed his eyes, but all he saw were Chandler's texts:  _We'll go for a carriage ride in New York. We'll take Broadway by storm. When we go to New York, let's go to the front of the Plaza and reenact the end of The Way We Were._ His phone kept chiming with the tones of Kurt texting. Even Sam and Rachel tried to reach him but he disregarded every one. He poured himself into his music and ignored the texts and calls from his mother telling him to come home. He knew she was worried and angry but how dare she choose today to have the evening off and remember him. His head swam as the time ticked by without notice. It wasn't until the sound of his father's ring tone that he snapped back to reality and he knew he couldn't ignore the phone anymore.

_Two Choices, Blaine: Get yourself home to your mother in ten minutes or I will call the police and have them deliver you here._

He read it over twice before throwing it quickly on the seat next to him, managing to scramble out of the car and to the bushes before sickness overcame him. He couldn't do this. Not alone. Not again. When he could finally breathe again he went back to the car and grabbed his water bottle to rinse his mouth. He looked at the clock. He had 7 minutes left.

He rested his forehead on the steering wheel before pulling himself together enough to drive home. Nothing was ever right. But he'd survived before. And he would this time too.

* * *

His night was wracked with dreams and nightmares: Kurt and a faceless Chandler exploring New York together, hugging, kissing; his father sending the police after him; and images of himself in slick black with New Directions singing his fury. He tossed and turned and woke up resolved, his heart somehow pieced back together with the fire in his soul. He thought he had known Kurt, but guessed that he'd never really known the boy at all. He decided that maybe it was easier this way. They'd break up now and he could get over the heartache before Kurt even left.

_Friday night you and your boys went out to eat_   
_Then they hung out,but you came home around three_   
_Now if six of ya'll went out_   
_Then four of you were really cheap_   
_'Cause only two of you had dinner_   
_I found your credit card receipt_

Santana stared at Kurt, her hackles raised at even the idea of Kurt cheating on Blaine. Kurt felt her eyes and the eyes of every other member of New Directions on him and he glared back quickly, nearly challenging them to get into it with him. He could not believe that Blaine was going to air their dirty laundry for the entire Glee club to judge him.  _  
_

_It's not right but it's okay_   
_I'm gonna make it anyway_   
_Pack your bags up and leave_   
_And don't you dare come_   
_Running back to me_

_It's not right but it's okay_   
_I'm gonna make it anyway_   
_Close the door behind you_   
_Leave your key_   
_I'd rather be alone than unhappy_

Blaine didn't need anyone. He didn't need his father, he didn't need Cooper and he didn't need Kurt or Santana or Sebastian and the Warblers. He would make it just fine on his own. Kurt could pack his bags and leave for New York and fill his days with Chandler or whatever other guy cast his net on him, because there was no doubt in Blaine's mind that a million guys would be all over Kurt Hummel the instant he arrived in the city that never sleeps.

_I've been through all this before_   
_So how could you think_   
_So don't turn around to see my face_   
_There's no more tears_   
_Left here for you to see_

Santana didn't know what Kurt had done, but her heart broke for Blaine and she was determined to find what the hell it was and kick his ass. Blaine had been through enough, he had cried enough tears and Santana could see on Blaine's face that there were none left to shed.

_Was it really worth you going out like that_   
_Tell Me_

Blaine stared at Kurt, seeing in the boy's eyes that he still didn't think he'd done anything wrong. Well screw him. Blaine had been wrong last night. He  _could_  do this alone and he would. He wasn't going to be a fool. He was a fighter and he wasn't going to let anyone, not even Kurt, play with his heart anymore.

_It's not right, it's okay baby_   
_I can pay my own rent_   
_Pave my life now_   
_Take care of my business_   
_Oh, Oh, oh oh._

The fire in Blaine's eyes made Santana proud. "Oh, Snap!" Santana said with a smirk to Kurt as Blaine stormed out of the room.

Kurt waited only a moment, letting his pride and indignation win out over his guilt before he ran after Blaine, catching him just outside the choir room door. "Blaine, don't walk away…"

Blaine spun back to him. "Not right now, Kurt," and Kurt knew that look in his eye well enough to back off immediately. Blaine stormed in the direction of the gym, no doubt to the punching bag.

Kurt looked off after him, but did not follow. He felt a gently placed hand on his back and turned, cheeks red with anger, hurt and embarrassment, to see Mike. "I'll talk to him," the boy said and Kurt just nodded and stepped back inside the room to gather his things, nearly running into an irate Santana.

"Do you mind telling me what you did to my boyfriend?" she challenged him, her hands on her hips and head swinging.

Kurt was in no mood to deal with Santana though and he walked past her. "He's my boyfriend Santana, not yours, so why don't you just mind your own business?"

"Oh hell's no, Hummel. Blaine IS my business and it looks like the way you're going, he's not going to be your boyfriend for very long," she snapped.

"Then go ask him Santana," Kurt said irritated, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I'm actually surprised you don't know everything about it already. Doesn't he call you about everything now?"

Kurt didn't wait for an answer. He stomped out of the choir room and to his car to race home.

Santana stood frozen as Brittany brought her things over to her. "You ok?" Brittany asked.

"What? Oh, sure," she said quietly as she took her bag and Brittany's hand. Brittany chatted on their way to cheerleading, but Santana heard little of what her girlfriend said. She suddenly realized that she and Blaine hadn't really talked since the night she told him about Louisville.

* * *

Mike followed Blaine exactly where he expected, into the locker room already changed and heading out to the bag. Blaine glanced up and caught his friend's eye but ignored him, his anger too explosive to contain. He grabbed his gloves from beside the heavy punching bag and went to work on it immediately.

"Let me hold it for you?" Mike offered, taking it before Blaine could say no.

"Sure, whatever," Blaine said punching even harder. It was even easier then to get his anger out. Mike was another one leaving.

"Kurt's hurting too you know," Mike said casually, gripping the bag against Blaine's blows.

"Yeah?" Blaine growled through gritted teeth as he assaulted the bag. "What do you know about it? You guys aren't even really friends."

"I know how it feels to be leaving someone behind," Mike said.

The admission caused Blaine to pause. He lowered his hands from the bag and bowed his head. He took the gloves off and threw them to the floor, wiping the sweat from his brow. He sat on the bench and Mike joined him.

"How is Tina dealing with it?" Blaine asked softly.

"She's sad, of course. But we try to spend as much time together as we can. And we talk about it. A lot. I try to reassure her. She knows I'm as scared as she is," he admitted.

"Kurt's not scared, he's been dying to get out of here since he was five years old," Blaine said wryly.

"Really Blaine? I thought you were smarter than that." Blaine turned to him and Mike continued. "You're staying here, at McKinley, with your friends and your family…"

"Screw my family," Blaine said angrily. "My parents didn't just turn things around like yours. They've never been there for me before and they won't be now."

Mike let the comment go, knowing that Blaine's pain was deeper than he could imagine. "Then you have Kurt's Dad and Carole," Mike gently reminded him. "They are there for you whenever you need them, I know they are."

Blaine shook his head. "Not if Kurt and I broke up," he said sadly.

"Listen Blaine, I don't know him nearly as well as you do. But I know Finn and Sam so I'm pretty sure I can say this honestly. Mr. Hummel doesn't give up on any of his kids or their friends. You are a part of their family for life. So any time you need him, he will be right there for you."

Blaine sat with his elbows on his knees, staring at the wall. He hoped that Mike was right. Burt Hummel was really the only father he had.

* * *

Blaine took a long hot shower after Mike changed and left for practice with Coach Beiste. He didn't know how long it was, but he let the water flow over him, washing away the tension in his joints until it ran cold. Only then did he finally get out and dress to go home.

He'd hoped to avoid everyone as he headed out to the parking lot, but Santana eyed him from across the football field and jogged over immediately, falling into step beside him.

"What the hell, Blaine. Why do I have to find out about all this in the choir room? And from Sam, no less?"

"Santana, I don't want to talk about this with you right now," he said without even a glance in her direction.

"Don't shut me out, Blaine!" she stopped and yelled after him but he ignored her and kept walking to his car.

Her shoulders slumped as he drove away. Brittany came up behind her and wrapped her arms around Santana's neck, dropping her chin on the girl's shoulder with a frown.

"He's scared," Brittany explained, brushing her fingers gently through the silky black hair. "Kurt and you, you're all he has and you're both leaving him."

"Are you scared?" Santana asked her thoughtfully.

Brittany turned Santana toward her and kissed her softly on the lips. "As long as I know you are safe and happy, Santana, I'll never be scared."

Santana smiled and kissed her back. Brittany linked their fingers and hand in hand they returned to cheerleading practice.

* * *

After his talk with his father, Kurt looked over the sticky notes in his room. So many memories of his life in Lima. He was ready to move on, to start a new chapter of his life in a world that was accepting of who he was and what he could do. But his father's words played over in his head:

" _Yes, you and I will always love each other, and you and I will always be there for each other, but…you know as soon as you walk out our door toward New York, everything's gonna change, and it won't change back, not to the way it is now."_

He grew scared. Not just of living on his own in the big city with no one he knew except maybe Rachel. He had kept the truth safely tucked away, not letting it worry him because he had already promised that nothing would touch them or what they had. He had promised never to say goodbye to him. Yet for the first time, he allowed himself to truly realize that goodbye was right around the corner and there was every possibility of losing Blaine. And Blaine had known it all along, had been carrying that around with him for months. The thought stopped his breath and tears welled in his eyes.

He walked over to the picture of him and Blaine at prom and brought it to his bed as he sat down. He took the pink sticker off and crumpled it, throwing it in the trash. He wrapped his arms around the frame, holding it to his heart. He had messed up. And he needed to make it right before it was too late.

* * *

Burt quietly closed Kurt's bedroom door behind him and took a deep breath. He hadn't missed what Kurt had said about he and Blaine being on the rocks and though he didn't know the details he had a pretty good idea of what was going on. He went to his room and changed his clothes, then picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hey, Blaine," he said cheerfully when the boy answered the call. "I have a 57 Chevy down at the shop I could use some help with. Finn's at practice and Kurt's busy with…something in his room, so I thought maybe you'd like to come down?"

Blaine found himself driving around again after school, trying to settle himself enough to go home but nothing was taking his mind off of Kurt and this Chandler kid. Maybe getting his hands dirty was just what he needed. "Yeah, sure," he said and Burt could hear the sadness in his voice. "I'll be right down."

Blaine arrived at the shop twenty minutes later and was immediately put to work. He didn't like working on cars as much as Finn, or even Kurt, but he liked working with Burt. He hoped that Mike was right because he guessed that he could really use a father right about then. If nothing else, it would be a distraction.

They worked in relative silence for a while, broken only by Burt's requests for tools or Blaine's questions about what he should do next or where certain parts went. Burt kept glancing over at the kid. Usually he had to tell Blaine to stop humming or singing so that he could concentrate. Today his brow was furrowed, his eyes were dark and it seemed as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders. "I'm sorry I haven't been around as much kid," Burt told him. "I know our Friday night dinners are important to you."

"That's alright sir," Blaine said dismissively. "I understand."

They were back to sir, Burt noted. He knew immediately that Blaine must have either believed that things were over between him and Kurt, or he thought that he had been the one in the wrong. And he knew very well that Blaine was the one wrong this time, he could see it in Kurt's eyes. Kurt only hid things from him when he thought that his father wouldn't be pleased with his behavior. Either way, it wouldn't make telling Blaine what he'd called him here for any easier, but he wouldn't put it off.

"I told Kurt today that I didn't want him to go," Burt confessed. Blaine froze on the spot, his hands still inside the guts of the car. Then he slowly stood and looked at Burt. Betrayal flashed in Blaine's eyes and it hit Burt as hard as if it had come from one of his own sons. He tried to explain. "I was wrong, son. I was wrong to encourage you to keep your feelings about New York from him. I thought it would be better, for all of us, but I was wrong."

Blaine's eyes slowly tempered as tears filled them. "What did he say?" he asked, his voice dispirited.

"That doesn't matter," Burt answered grabbing a clean rag to wipe his hands. "What matters is what he says to you." Burt walked over to the boy and took him by the shoulders. "Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Don't distance yourself like I did. Sure it seems easier to push him away, but in the end, it just makes everything so much worse. You know as well as I do, Kurt is stubborn and selfish and he needs attention or he's going to do something stupid to seek it." Burt raised a brow at Blaine. "Am I right?" Blaine looked self-consciously to the floor but nodded.

"I just," Blaine started but the tears started to fall. It wasn't about the texts. Kurt was right, he'd done the same thing with Sebastian even after Kurt had asked him to stop. But the difference was that Kurt had been right by his side the whole time. Kurt and this Chandler kid that he didn't even know were making secret plans in New York, plans that should have been for him and Kurt alone. Kurt wasn't only his boyfriend, Kurt was his best friend and it was as if every single fear Blaine had about him going to New York was being confirmed right before his very eyes and Kurt hadn't even waited until he was gone. Kurt was already replacing him with Chandler. Blaine didn't even realize that he was shaking in Burt's arms as he cried and that Burt gently soothed him with whispers of "I know."

Blaine pulled away when he realized, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "I'm sorry sir, I shouldn't have done that."

Burt dismissed the comment. It wasn't the first time and every part of him hoped it wouldn't be the last. "Here's what I know Blaine. It wouldn't hurt so much if you didn't love him. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves you. So hear him out. Tell him what you need to tell him and hear him out. The last thing in the world he wants to do is hurt you."

"I really hope you're right. I just don't know what I would do without him in my life," Blaine said.

Burt wrapped the boy in his arms again. "You and me both, Kid," he admitted. "You and me both."

* * *

They kept their distance from each other throughout the morning, their eyes catching at their usual meeting times and places before turning away. For Blaine it was practice, imagining the halls of McKinley without Kurt. Every hallway, every classroom, every turn held a memory and the pieces of his broken heart shattered all over again.

He considered skipping Glee, something he'd never done, but as he stood still outside the choir room Mike draped an arm around his neck and brought him inside. Blaine sat in the back, huddled in on himself, when Kurt came in. He tried not to watch the boy he loved whisper to Mr. Schuester and take center stage. His nerves twisted as he waited for Kurt to say goodbye.

_Share my life,_   
_Take me for what I am._   
_'Cause I'll never change_   
_All my colors for you._

Blaine always thought he had loved Kurt exactly as he was. Feisty and confident, beautiful and talented as hell. Blaine loved his delicious mix of innocence and spice. He thought he had accepted Kurt's faults; his selfishness and ambition that sometimes left Blaine shaking his head. But now those same faults left him the cold and as much as he wanted to take Kurt for who he was in every way, he didn't know if he still could.

_Take my love,_   
_I'll never ask for too much,_   
_Just all that you are_   
_And everything that you do._

Mike looked at Blaine. His friend couldn't possibly deny Kurt's love or hope or fears after this performance. But Blaine kept his walls up and sneered at him. Mike turned back to Tina and watched her throughout the song. She was feeling every bit that Blaine was and he knew it. He wanted to reach out to assure her, but he didn't.

_I don't really need to look_   
_Very much further,_   
_I don't want to have to go_   
_Where you don't follow._   
_I will hold it back again,_   
_This passion inside._   
_Can't run from myself,_   
_There's nowhere to hide.  
_

Kurt's eyes never left Blaine's, beautiful hazel eyes filled with tears of love and sorrow that he had put there. Blaine kept himself closed off, wanting more than anything to believe everything Kurt sung but it was impossible. Kurt was going where he couldn't follow and nothing they sang or said would change that fact.

_Don't make me close one more door,_   
_I don't want to hurt anymore._   
_Stay in my arms if you dare,_   
_Or must I imagine you there._

Blaine would have done absolutely anything to stay safe in Kurt's arms, pressed forever against his beating heart, but Kurt was the one leaving, not him. It wasn't fair, nothing about this or anything that had ever happened to him was fair. So much pain, too much pain for one person to bear. So many doors closed, so many goodbyes, too many people that Blaine imagined were there for him but then walked away. If he was wise, he would walk away with the memories and let them both move on. Except he didn't know if he could ever walk away from the look in Kurt's eyes that had hypnotized him from the moment they met.

_Don't walk away from me._   
_I have nothing, nothing, nothing_   
_Don't make me close one more door,_   
_I don't want to hurt anymore._

Kurt was giving him the choice and he didn't know what to do. There was no one more important to him in the world. No one he would fight for more. And yet he had stopped fighting for him and had started fighting against him, even before Kurt cheated. He thought the pain of not being with Kurt every day was too great, but not having him at all was unbearable. Without Kurt he didn't feel whole, he wasn't as strong. Without Kurt he was Blaine Warbler and he had come too far to turn back now.

_Stay in my arms if you dare,_   
_Or must I imagine you there._   
_Don't walk away from me._   
_No, don't walk away from me._

He loved him. He loved Kurt more than anything in the world and the last thing he ever truly wanted to do was walk away from him. Every time he did it hurt more than staying, more than hoping, more than waiting. He grew lost in Kurt's loving and hopeful eyes, seeing in them the one place, the one person with whom he truly belonged, and he knew he had nothing without him.

_Don't you dare walk away from me._   
_I have nothing, nothing, nothing_   
_If I don't have you, you_

Blaine clapped hesitantly through his tears, pressing his hands together in silent prayer. The song was beautiful. Kurt was beautiful. But every day seemed to be the same question. How much more forgiveness did he have in him?

The Glee members passed Kurt as they filed out. Santana glared at him while Brittany wrapped him lightly in her arms. Rachel and Mike gave him sad but encouraging looks. Pretty soon the room was empty, save for Blaine, too emotionally spent to move from his chair.

Kurt walked slowly toward him, waiting for the anger to flare again but he only saw sadness.

"That was beautiful," Blaine whispered, his eyes looking past Kurt.

"I meant every word," Kurt promised. He wrung his fingers nervously, hopefully. "Can we talk?"

Blaine shook his head and stared at the ground. "I need more time, Kurt."

But that was it. They didn't have more time. Time was slipping away. Every minute, every second, was one less that they could have together before New York. The irony was lost on neither of them and their sadness simply grew. Kurt looked up, and saw rain coming down. It matched the tears he felt inside.

"Okay," Kurt said quietly with a quick nod. "I understand."

* * *

They went another night without talking, Blaine watching the rain fall out his window for hours. He had a lot to think about and work out in his mind. He arrived at school late, just as the first bell rang and he didn't see Kurt before heading off to calculus with Mike. He had his head buried in his books when a call came for the teacher.

"Blaine, Ms. Pillsbury would like to see you in her office," she said handing him a pass.

Blaine looked worriedly at Mike, who shrugged, then gathered his books and made his way nervously to the guidance counselor's office. His brow furrowed even deeper when he saw Kurt waiting in the office for him. He paused outside the door and, noticing him, Kurt rushed out to meet him.

"What are you doing, Kurt?" Blaine immediately accused him.

Kurt pursed his lips. He had gone to Ms. Pillsbury after Glee the day before to find out how to get Blaine to open up to him. She talked to him about active listening and the art of compromise and suggested that he and Blaine come in for couple's counseling. Kurt thought it was a good idea, though he didn't think Blaine would agree. Still he had to give it a try.

"I was actually hoping we could talk with Ms. Pillsbury," Kurt started slowly and hesitantly, but as Blaine's eyes darkened and his face grew stiff he began to ramble. "She's helped me with David and Rachel in the past and I thought maybe it would be a good idea to have someone else there to kind of mediate."

"I'm not going to counseling with you, Kurt." Blaine said firmly.

Kurt's shoulders slumped. "But why? You go with your father…" the words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

"And that is precisely why, Kurt," he snapped. "I hate therapy. I hate being locked in a room with him and having to tell things to a stranger and have him brush it off and ignore me and I never ever wanted to be in that kind of situation with you. I never wanted  _ **us**_  to be something that needed counseling."

Kurt wanted more than anything to wrap Blaine in his arms, but he knew now wasn't the time. "I absolutely understand that Blaine. But Ms. Pillsbury isn't a stranger and I would never ignore you. Don't think of it as counseling; just think of it like we're talking to Mr. Schuester or my dad."

"Then let's do that," Blaine urged him, his eyes pleading. He wanted to talk just not this way. "Let's just talk to them."

Kurt glanced into the office and looked at Ms. Pillbury who nodded her encouragement. He turned back to Blaine. "Blaine, we're here now and I don't want to go another second without working this out. Please," he begged.

Blaine sighed, but he could not resist Kurt. He walked into the room, sitting in the chair with resignation. Kurt smiled at Ms. Pillsbury who smiled back and took a seat next to Blaine.

Blaine fought it. He challenged her credentials, he nitpicked and deflected, but it was like waves crashing against a dam until it burst. Perhaps it was his hatred of therapy, where his feelings poured out no matter how hard he tried to keep them contained, or perhaps it was just his depth of love for Kurt and his unwillingness to let everything go without a fight, but his anger built and he couldn't hold back his feelings anymore despite himself.

"And while we're being perfectly honest," Blaine yelled before he could stop himself, "I don't like that with every conversation, we end up always talking about NYADA. What song you're gonna sing, what outfit you're going to wear to your callback, how amazing New York is." He knew he was whining like a child, but the words were ones he had kept hidden from Kurt for months and once he started he couldn't stop. "And it's like New York is the only thing we talk about now Kurt, and it's like," he paused, needing to tell him how he had been feeling but terrified that putting the words out there would only confirm his fears. "it's like you can't even wait to get out of here." And away from him. Those words remained unspoken but they were thick in the air. "How's that supposed to make me feel?" he asked broken-hearted.

Blaine took a deep breath as Kurt took in what he said. It was so hard to just say the words, but he knew he had to make Kurt understand what he'd been feeling. "In a few months, you're going to be gone. With this brand-new life, these brand-new friends, brand-new everything, and I'm going to be right here. By myself."

One empty house. One loveless house. No boyfriend to wrap in his arms and hold him tight and tell him he was safe and wanted and loved. He'd make friends, he was good at that. But his family – his parents, Cooper and now Kurt – would be gone. All he was trying to do was come to terms with that.

"You're right," Blaine went on, filling in the words that Kurt didn't even need to say. "I have been distant. And I'm sorry. But I'm just trying to practice what life is going to be like without you." He looked at Kurt, who was finally listening to him, seeing him and understanding. He'd been so angry but looking in his eyes right now all he felt was love that he never wanted to live without. "You are the love of my life, Kurt. And I'm pissed off that I have to learn, for the next year, what being alone is going to be like."

As Kurt listened to Blaine, his heart broke at the grief and anger Blaine had been bottling up and he inwardly screamed at himself for ignoring it this whole time. He reached out, not wanting Blaine to be without his touch for one more minute.

"But you're not going to be alone," Kurt said vehemently. "I'm going to Skype you every day, and you're going to come visit me in New York every weekend as far as I'm concerned. But I promise, you aren't going to lose me."

Blaine's tears began to flow, knowing it was unrealistic and it wouldn't be the same, but the fact that Kurt had imagined them together next year melted any anger and warmed his heart.

Blaine smiled softly and took Kurt's hand. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Kurt said, his own eyes misting with tears.

Kurt smiled at him and opened his arms. Blaine fell into his embrace, needing to feel Kurt's warmth and his heart beating against his own. He needed to breathe in Kurt's scent of vanilla and sandalwood that he had missed so much the last few days. He clung to Kurt as Kurt clung to him, gripping each other with the desire to never let go. More would have to wait until later, but they didn't care. They just needed to stay in each other's arms for as long as possible.

* * *

Blaine winked up to Kurt on top of the piano as the Glee Club finished their impromptu rehearsal and he turned on the piano bench to Santana. She glared up to Kurt, who shrugged and smirked back at her, then brought her gaze to hazel puppy dog eyes that stared up at her. He smiled softly and held out a hand.

She grabbed it and pulled him up roughly and smiled.

"Forgive me?" Blaine asked sheepishly.

"Boyfriend, I am the Queen of shutting people out. No one does it better than me," she quipped in understanding.

"I just…" Blaine started sadly, but Santana stopped him with a finger to his lips.

"I know," she said with a soft smile.

Blaine kissed her on the cheek and she wrapped an arm around him laughing.

"So you're back with Selfish McTexty Pants?" she jibed.

"He's my everything, 'Tana," Blaine said with soft eyes. "Love is worth forgiving for."

Blaine's phone vibrated and he pulled it out. He glanced at the screen and Santana immediately noticed the bedroom eyes and the blush of his cheeks. Blaine looked across the stage. Next to a laughing Brittany stood Kurt, gazing at him seductively. Blaine put his phone away. "I have to go," he said quickly with a grin and raced across the stage to grab Kurt's hand.

"Make him earn it," Santana called after him as the boys nearly ran out of the auditorium. She turned to Brittany who walked to her girlfriend and gathered Santana in her arms.

Brittany kissed her softly. "Is your boyfriend back?" the blonde asked.

"The boyfriend is definitely back," Santana replied before kissing Brittany with a smile.

* * *

They drove in a comfortable silence out of Lima, the only sound their two hearts beating with their love for one another. Kurt's fingers were laced with Blaine's, the soft caress of his thumb sending waves of warmth from him to Blaine. Blaine wouldn't tell him where they were going and Kurt had never been this way before. They drove over an hour, through the cities and residential neighborhoods, into the farmlands and beyond. As the sights grew more rural and beautiful, Kurt was mesmerized by the peacefulness of the land and he wondered where Blaine was taking him. It was nearing dusk when Blaine pulled up beside the most breathtaking field of lilacs that Kurt had ever seen. Blaine smiled and Kurt opened the door, without a backwards glance, and walked out onto the field, his arms wrapped tightly around himself.

He felt Blaine draw near to him, but Kurt could not take his eyes off the acres of lilac that seemed to go on forever. "Blaine, it's beautiful, how did you ever find it?"

"The other night after I left your place, I didn't have anywhere to go so I just drove and drove for hours," Blaine said.

Kurt turned to Blaine, his bright blue eyes tearing thinking of that night. He noticed Blaine carrying a blanket and a small cooler and his head tilted. "You planned this," he accused playfully, his eyes twinkling.

Blaine took Kurt's hand with his free one. "Kurt, I know I am no Taylor Lautner," he started, his insecurity transparent in his eyes.

Kurt smiled with love overflowing. "No, you're not Blaine. You are better. You are real, and here and mine, and you are in my heart forever."

Blaine's eyes misted. "I was wrong, Kurt, to keep myself from you. I want to make a million memories between now and September that will last us through every day that we're apart. I don't want to waste another minute."

"Neither do I," Kurt whispered and cupped his face, kissing him tenderly.

Blaine took his hand and they walked through the field until their car was out of sight. Blaine spread the blanket and Kurt laid out the food. They ate and talked about Kurt's fears and hopes and they made plans for the future, their future together. They talked until the darkness came upon them and they were lit only by the light of the moon and stars. Only then did they replace talk with kisses and settled into the soft bed of lilacs, making love soft and slow, filling their night with memories that would last a lifetime.


	21. Choke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful readers. I made a few decisions with this episode and I hope you won't be upset with me for them. I think there are hundreds of fics right now that are doing far more justice to Klaine and the gold pants than I could. It happens, the bromance happens, but for the most part I left it alone.
> 
> If domestic violence is as huge a trigger for you as it is for Blaine, you may want to skip. Also if you will be mad that I hijacked Beiste's storyline for Blaine you can skip as well. However, the storyline was Blaine's from my very first chapter of Hold On and I have been consistent. So here's what you didn't see on Glee.

"God, Kurt, you are so tense, you need to calm down." Kurt sat on Blaine's bed, one leg curled up underneath him, the other bouncing out of control on the floor as he stared at the sheet music in front of him.  _Music of the Night_  and  _The Boy Next Door_  stared back at him, yelling reasons in his mind why each was the better choice and Kurt thought he was losing it. Phantom was practiced and rehearsed over and over, they had the set all ready to go, and yet there was something gnawing at him to go the other way. They'd been going back and forth for hours. Blaine was right. He needed to calm down.

Kurt took a deep breath and Blaine rose from his armchair to climb on the bed behind Kurt. Sitting on his knees he massaged Kurt's shoulders deeply and Kurt closed his eyes, the tension slipping away. Kurt purred beneath him. "Mmm…you, sir, are a keeper."

Blaine smiled. "You just remember that on your long, lonely nights in New York City," Blaine teased and just to emphasize his point, he began nibbling on Kurt's neck.

Kurt shivered beneath Blaine's lips and leaned into them to savor the feeling. He could stay like this forever. And he would if he didn't get back to work on his song choice and get himself into NYADA. "You are ridiculously distracting Blaine," he forced himself to argue and lean away from the lips on his neck but not the hands still massaging his shoulders. "You keep this up and New York won't even be an issue because I will royally blow my audition," he grumbled.

Blaine pulled Kurt's collar back in reply and began kissing his way down Kurt's shoulders. "That's..." Kiss. "A very tempting…" Kiss. "Proposition." He kissed.

"Blaine!" Kurt yelled, pulling away to face him angrily. Blaine smirked and grabbed his face, pulling him in for a quick kiss, and Kurt softened.

"Then get back to work Hummel," Blaine said playfully. He picked up a packet of sheet music and swatted it against Kurt's stomach. Kurt grabbed it and pulled it away as Blaine walked across the room and leaned casually against the wall. "Besides, my mother is actually home tonight and she always walks in at the most inopportune moments."

As if on cue, a knock on the door interrupted them and Mrs. Anderson walked in. Kurt glanced at Blaine in amazement and Blaine just chuckled. "Hey boys," she said with a smile, ruffling Blaine's hair but otherwise ignoring him. Instead her eyes fell on Kurt and the sheet music strewn on the bed. "What are you two up to tonight?" she asked curiously.

Kurt knew that she and Blaine obviously had their issues, but Mrs. Anderson had always been sweet to Kurt and he liked her. "Just preparing for my audition for NYADA tomorrow." Kurt sighed with ceremonious uncertainty. "I have two possibilities and I am just completely torn as to which way to go. One way feels safe, but the other one feels right."

She walked over to Kurt and gave him a kiss on the head. "Go with your heart," she told him. "What's safe isn't always what's right." She glanced at Blaine, who was studying her intensely, but she looked away quickly. "I'm heading out. I've got a double shift tonight Blaine, so I won't be home until morning," she announced nonchalantly, quickly straightened some of his things.

"Of course," Blaine replied flatly, and Kurt didn't miss Blaine's eyes narrow or his cheeks grow heated watching his mother flit around the room.

"I'm sure your father is expecting you home though, Kurt?" she said, either ignoring or oblivious to her son's reply.

"Curfew's at ten, Mrs. A.," Kurt responded, while keeping one eye trained on a cross-armed Blaine. She smiled once more at no one in particular before walking out and closing the door behind her. As they both implicitly waited for the sound of the front door closing, Blaine's eyes were growing more and more distant and Kurt could see he was losing him. At the click of the latch, he tried to head it off before it grew worse. "She loves you Blaine," he said gently. "Don't blame her for having to work."

"She's not going to work," he said coolly, staring at an empty space on the door.

Kurt looked at him confused. "Then where is she going?"

Blaine swallowed, the anger building to hide the overwhelming sense of betrayal and fear that lay beneath the surface. "To spend the night with my father."

It took Kurt a moment for Blaine's statement to register, because it made no sense to him. "How do you know that?" 

Blaine turned to him, his arms still crossed and closed off. "She couldn't even look me in the eye," he sneered.

Kurt still struggled to even be in the same room with the man who had hurt Blaine so deeply. He couldn't even imagine how hard it must be for Blaine to have his mother go back. "Blaine, sweetheart, I'm sorry," Kurt comforted though it didn't seem like enough. Yet, the warmth and understanding in Kurt's words and eyes brought Blaine back from the dark place he was headed.

"Come on," Blaine said. Kurt didn't know how much he worried about his mother; it was a secret he continued to keep. He let it go for now, as he had been for weeks. He needed to focus his energy on Kurt and his friends who were leaving, not the constant turmoil of his family. There would be plenty of time for that when everyone was gone. He pulled himself from the wall and sat back down with Kurt. "You need to get back to work on your audition piece. We need to get you to New York."

Kurt looked at him regretfully, knowing how hard it was for Blaine to help him leave. Kurt took his hand as he kissed him sweetly on the lips. "You're amazing."

"Yes," Blaine smirked. "Yes, I am. But I'm selfish too," he added wryly. "I am pretty sure that I am going to need a place to escape to every weekend next year."

* * *

Kurt and Blaine gripped each other's hands tightly as they watched the dreams of one of their best friend's fall away before their very eyes.

Finn and Mr. Schuester raced out after Rachel, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone in the darkened theater.

"I hope she'll be okay," Kurt worried.

But Blaine didn't want to talk about Rachel. "I am so amazingly proud of you." Blaine pulled Kurt to him, kissing him adoringly as he slowly slid one hand up from Kurt's knee to his thigh. "And these pants," he grinned against Kurt's lips. "I'm proud of these pants as well."

Kurt laughed that adorable laugh that made Blaine's heart leap with joy. "I had hoped you might like them," he flirted. "Is your Mom home tonight?" he asked suggestively.

"No," he frowned. "She says she's working again, though her schedule says differently," he added under his breath. "But I promised the guys I would help Noah study tonight. I suspect it involves breaking into the school, pizza, and a lot of guy insanity." Blaine raised an eyebrow. "You're welcome to join, of course."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "As tempting as that all sounds, I think I'll just start packing for New York. The sooner I get rid of those sticky notes the better, right?"

Blaine hated the sticky notes. He'd refused to go into Kurt's room until the sticky notes were gone. He hated every reminder of Kurt leaving. "New York has no idea how lucky it is, having Kurt Hummel begin his life there," Blaine said.

"Our life, Blaine," he said with a loving smile. "Our life."

Blaine eyed him mischievously. "Can the gold pants go too?"

Kurt laughed, kissing him quickly and nodding. "Yes, the pants can come too."

* * *

"I honestly can't even imagine letting someone do that to me," Santana said as she popped a cherry tomato into her mouth. The girls had gathered together at lunch outside in the courtyard, the beautiful day contrasting the mood amongst them. Seeing Coach Beiste with a black eye, knowing it was her husband that did it to her, it was hitting them hard. Which they supposed was exactly what the teachers had intended by talking to them about it.

"No man, or woman, is ever gonna get the upper hand on my girl," Brittany said smiling proudly at her girlfriend.

"I'm not so sure it's that easy," Mercedes argued. "She didn't let it happen, Santana. He's the one responsible, not her." They'd all seen it in the music industry. Domestic violence wasn't something new to them, but to know someone directly affected by it made it all that much more real.

"I just feel really bad for her, that's all," Tina said quietly. "I can't believe he would even do that to her."

Blaine walked over, his lunch tray in hand, and sat down with the girls, overhearing the last bit of the conversation. "Hello, ladies," he said cheerfully as he unwrapped his sandwich and took a bite of his apple. "You can't believe what happened."

"Coach Beiste's shiner," Santana told him bluntly. "Seems Cooter decided to show her what boxing is all about." Blaine's eyes snapped to Santana's and blazed a dark amber, before becoming distant.

"I'm really glad she went to her sister's house," Brittany said with a frown.

"Guys," Mercedes hushed them. "I don't know if she wanted us to be telling anyone."

"That's okay," Santana said a little more carefully, keeping a close eye on Blaine. "Boyfriend can keep a secret, can't you?"

His eyes refocused on her. Whether she meant to or not, he saw the demand in her eyes, the expectation to be complicit in one more secret, and he hated the fact that she was right. "Yeah," he nearly whispered. "Yeah I can." He'd kept these secrets for years.  He was tired of it. "Excuse me." He picked up his bag and walked off, leaving his tray behind.

His vision was blurry and his chest was tight. He hated that it got like that when the triggers overwhelmed him but he knew it would pass and he just kept walking until he reached a small courtyard with benches and trees, but not used much by students during the day. He sat on the bench and dropped his face in his palms, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes in an effort to right them again. He felt someone take a seat next to him and he startled until he realized it was just Santana. He took some deep breaths to calm his now racing heart.

She sat in silence. Yelling at him for running would do no good at this point. Like Kurt she was becoming very well aware of both his triggers and his reactions to them and though she was at a loss this time around, she knew now was the time for silence not questions. He would talk to her as soon as his nerves regulated, so she waited.

"She'll never leave him," Blaine finally said to her as if sharing a secret.

"How do you know?" she asked calmly.

"They never do."

His voice was filled with resignation and suddenly she understood and her heart broke. "You weren't your father's only target," she said to herself, but he heard the words. There were some secrets that Blaine Anderson didn't share, but he didn't need to tell her. The quickening of his breath, the aversion of his eyes and the wringing of his hands were all she needed to see.

"Why?" she asked quietly. "Why do they go back?"

"Love, I guess" he answered mournfully. "People forgive almost anything for love, right or wrong."

"I'm sorry, Blaine," Santana said, but Blaine didn't want her pity.

"I'm just so tired, 'Tana. I'm tired of the lies and the secrets and the constant pain and fear no matter where I go or what I do. I'm tired of putting on a happy face with the guys because I know that they can't handle the rage that boils inside me all the time. And I'm tired of being that angry and afraid of what I might do." His cheeks flushed and there was so much sadness in his eyes. Reaching up slowly, she pressed her hands to his cheeks and traced her thumbs over each eyelid just to block it out for a moment. Blaine felt her soothing touch and he leaned into her hands, closing his eyes to immerse himself in her touch. When she took her hands away, his eyes fluttered open. "I can't do this anymore," he said sorrowfully. "I just can't keep waiting for the next blow to fall."

"Then don't," Santana said firmly. "Walk away. I know you think you need Kurt and me, but you don't. You are stronger than both of us combined. Every day I learn exactly how strong you have been and I couldn't be prouder to call you my best friend." The words unexpectedly fell from her lips before she thought and she blushed at her own admission. "Ya know, other than Brittany of course," she added defensively.

Blaine nodded with a sly grin. "Of course." The bell rang and the both gathered their belongings. "Thank you, 'Tana."

"Meet me outside the choir room at 2:30. Don't be late," she said quickly before kissing him lightly on the cheek and running off in the opposite direction.

Blaine smiled after her. He was Santana Lopez' best friend.

* * *

Blaine finished his workout on the bag and showered and dressed to meet Santana. He was sitting on the bench getting his shoes on when Coach Beiste walked into the weight room. He glanced up and she caught his eye, but he turned away as feelings that had no place at McKinley quickly rushed over him.

Coach Beiste had worked with Blaine both in gym class and the weight room before, and the tension was thick between them where it had never been before. She immediately worried that he knew her secret and deflected. "I heard Kurt did an amazing job on his NYADA audition yesterday," she said making uneasy conversation.

"Yeah, he did." Trying to avoid the conversation, he got up to grab his shoulder bag. He struggled to look her in the eye. He couldn't help the anger and disappointment he felt toward her, even though he knew he had no right.

"Tell him I said, Congratulations," she said, awkwardly. "I heard he switched songs at the last minute."

"Yeah, well my Mom told him that the safe choice isn't always the right one." Blaine risked a look at her and saw in her eyes the same agony and doubt that he saw daily in his mother. "Sometimes I think it is though," he finished quietly.

His words hit home and she willed the tears that had threatened her all day not to fall in front of Blaine. "How do you know the difference?" she asked brokenly.

Blaine considered her for a minute before answering. "I think you have to block out all the voices around you, and the ones inside your head. Just listen to your heart. It's usually right, in the moment."

Coach Beiste nodded, knowing that it wasn't as easy as all that. The moments could change so quickly and drastically. And it was the hardest thing in the world to let the old ones go as the new ones drew near.

* * *

_Regrets collect like old friends_  
_Here to relive your darkest moments_  
_I can see no way, I can see no way_  
_And all of the ghouls come out to play_

Santana's voice rang out as Blaine walked up to the choir room. The hallways were quiet this time of day, only those going to afterschool activities roamed from one room to another. He caught sight of the girls singing to Coach Beiste and he stayed outside, pressing his suddenly hot cheek against the cold tile wall, listening to words that penetrated to the core. Santana had brought him here to listen. Though the girls sang to their Coach, Santana sang to him.

_And every demon wants his pound of flesh_  
_But I like to keep some things to myself_  
_I like to keep my issues drawn_  
_It's always darkest before the dawn  
_

Santana and Kurt knew about his father. They knew the stories of some of his most painful and humiliating moments. But there were other secrets he still kept, his mother's secret. He hadn't even told Cooper. He had thought he didn't have to, it was all over, but he knew now it would never be over. It scared him. He was scared that she would be hurt again, and scared that he would have to go back too.

_And I've been a fool and I've been blind_  
_I can never leave the past behind_  
_I can see no way, I can see no way_  
_I'm always dragging that horse around_  
_And our love is pastured such a mournful sound_  
_Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground_  
_So I like to keep my issues drawn_  
_It's always darkest before the dawn_

He had tried so hard to let go, to move on, but there seemed no way. Filling his days with Kurt and Santana and the guys only made him forget for a time. It was impossible to move on from something that you came home to every night. The secrets and the lies, they never stopped in his family. He'd been naïve to think that it could all just change overnight and suddenly she'd learn to protect him. He'd been blind to not see that she had never truly left his father. But he was done. Santana was right. It was time to walk away and tonight was the night.

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out_  
_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out_  
_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_  
_So shake him off_

Blaine felt a hand on his back and he turned to see Kurt with a gentle smile on his face. He took in Kurt's bright blue eyes, sparkling with love. He wanted to be free for him, at peace, with no more demons or devils. Everything Blaine had been through had made him stronger, strong enough to survive what he would go through over the next year. He wouldn't take it back but he was more than ready to let it go.

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_  
_And given half the chance would I take any of it back_  
_It's a fine romance but its left me so undone_  
_It's always darkest before the dawn  
_

Kurt was his heaven and Blaine's biggest fear was that someday the rage he inherited from his father might lead him to lash out at Kurt. Blaine reached a hand to Kurt's face, tracing from his eyebrow around to his cheekbone with his fingertips, imagining Coach Beiste's black eye marring Kurt's beautifully perfect skin. His eyes welled up as he remembered how close he had come a few times before.

_Looking for heaven, found the devil in me_  
_Looking for heaven, found the devil in me_  
_But what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me_

Kurt took Blaine's hand from his face, pressing his palm gently to his lips, and Blaine's eyes squeezed shut. Teardrops fell. Whatever demons had possessed Blaine today, Kurt knew that he would shake them out. He wiped Blaine's eyes with his fingertips and they locked eyes, Kurt willing Blaine to hear the girls' words as they sang.

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out_  
_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out_  
_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_  
_So shake him off_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out_  
_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out_

"I never want to hurt you," Blaine whispered, anguish in his eyes.

Kurt took him in his arms and held him tightly. "I know."

* * *

Blaine walked in the apartment and without a word placed his bag gently on the kitchen chair closest to the door. His mother fussed with the crock pot, adding the last pinch of bay leaves and peppercorn. "I made you Adobo Chicken. One of your favorites." He said nothing as he watched her, waiting for the words he dreaded. "I'm working late tonight so I'll see you in the morning," she said. With a small smile she turned, but looked completely past him.

"Please stop lying to me," he begged in a hushed tone.

She blinked in dismay and finally met his eyes. "What do you mean?" she hedged, knowing she was caught.

"You know exactly what I mean Mom," Blaine whined with frustration. "I know you're going over there."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Blaine" she lied, and the lies just frightened Blaine more.

"I go to counseling with him every week Mom, I'm not stupid. I can see it in his face, in the things he says. I can see it in yours."

She stepped toward him, a hand reaching out, but he stepped back putting up a wall between them.  She dropped her hand and tried to explain. "Blaine-" 

"Are we going back to him?"  Blaine held back the sobs that threatened their escape, refusing to give in to the dread while he waited for her to answer the question that plagued him. 

Her shoulders squared and her face hardened. "I would never make you go back," she promised him firmly.

"But you would," Blaine said bitterly.

"I'm okay," she assured him.

His blood raced through his veins, his anger exploding. "But I'm not!" he yelled. "This isn't all about you! You always choose him over me and I can't do this anymore, Mom. I can't worry that you're going to come home with a black eye or a broken arm or not at all. I'm not going to New York like Kurt, Mom. I'm still here another year and I can't live with even the possibility that you would make me go back there!"

She tried again to approach him but he retreated another step. "He's changing, Blaine. And a year isn't a very long time. When you go, I don't want to be alone. Maybe you're strong enough for that but I'm not."

His eyes narrowed and in that moment he hated her. He hated her for having to be strong enough to be alone when she couldn't do the same for him. "Do you know what I did last week when he threatened to call the police on me Mom? I threw up! I threw up because the thought of going back to him scared the shit out of me, and I knew you wouldn't be there for me. But you expect me to just be okay with you leaving me alone to spend the nights with him?" he asked sarcastically and shook his head. "Well I won't do it." He grabbed his bag and he opened the door before turning back for only a moment. "I'm going to Kurt's. Don't you dare tell Dad that I've left," he ordered as he slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Blaine drove around for a bit before heading to the Hudmel house. He knocked on the door and Burt answered jovially. "You're a little bit late for Friday night dinner," Burt joked, but stopped as soon as he saw the anguish in Blaine's face. "What's the matter, son?"

"Is Kurt here?" Blaine asked pitifully and he saw Kurt come out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Blaine looked broken and exhausted and Kurt rushed to him. "Blaine, what happened?" Blaine immediately fell into Kurt's arms and while a small ache in his gut remained, the worst of his thoughts and feelings washed away in the arms of the boy he loved. Burt returned to the kitchen to give them space.

"Do you think I will fit in your suitcase?" Blaine joked cheerlessly.

"I think even you're too big," Kurt said, concern still evident in his face.

Their eyes locked and Blaine let the ocean blue quench his fire-blazed amber. "Can I stay the weekend then?"

Kurt reached his arm around Blaine's waist. "That I think we can do." He smiled tenderly and led Blaine into the kitchen for their dinner. Rachel was missing, but Finn, Sam and Burt quickly made room for him at the table while Carole got up to fix him a plate. His eyes frowned, but he smiled at the love and acceptance he knew he could find in Kurt's family. Whatever happened, he would always have a safe place to go and a family to call his own.


	22. Prom 2012

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So RIB made me write an entire chapter about hair gel. I added in a little current events and here ya go! I was far less than pleased with Prom for reasons I'm sure you all know. I hope this gives you all a little bit of what was missing.
> 
> Just a note: My hair is a lot like Darren's. While my husband of ten years has seen it messy, he has never seen it completely frizzy without product. So while I too bristled at the lines that Kurt had never seen Blaine's hair without gel, I kind of get it.

_I hereby declare this to be the Best. Prom. Ever._

"Are you ok?" Kurt leaned over and whispered to Blaine.

"What?" he asked his mind still focused on the ban on hair gel. He'd missed basically the entire conversation about the prom song set, which was good because he didn't even want to go now, much less be on stage performing. "Oh sure, I'm fine," he lied as he distractedly got his books together. "You go ahead."

Kurt looked at him sympathetically but slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out of the choir room with Sam and Mercedes.

Blaine got up and rushed over to Santana, who stood by the piano with Brittany whispering to each other. Blaine placed a hand on Santana's arm. "Tana, can I talk to you for a minute?" he said quietly, avoiding Brittany's gaze.

Santana glanced knowingly at Brittany who gathered her things. "Sure, Blaine." She led him back to the chairs, taking two seats facing each other as Brittany headed out of the room, leaving them alone.

Santana watched him with amusement as he wriggled uncomfortably in his seat. "Tana, do you think you can get Brittany to lay off about the hair gel?"

Santana smiled. "No," she said firmly. "I can't. Nor do I want to."

"What?" He looked grief-stricken.

"Look at me, Blaine," she ordered and she took his hands in her own, squeezing tightly. He looked her in the eye with more pain and fear than should have anything to do with hair gel and she knew she was right. "Why does it frighten you so much?"

"It doesn't frighten me, Santana," he argued defensively, though she didn't believe him. "I just look terrible without the gel."

"And so you look terrible, what then?" she asked, her eyes quirked.

He averted his gaze and pulled his hands from hers, wringing them together and tapping his leg nervously.

She placed a hand on his knee to still it, and his eyes turned to her manicured nails. "When was the last time you went without gel Blaine?" she asked gently.

"In public?" he asked painfully, his eyes trained on her hand. "The Sadie Hawkins dance." Blaine sighed and raised his eyes. Shame was clear on his face as he remembered the taunts about his hair, the ease at which it allowed the bullies to take hold of him in the most humiliating fashion. "I started slicking it back as soon as I went to Dalton." Unconsciously, it was one of many layers of protection he'd built for himself at Dalton and Santana could see right through him.

She continued for him. "And as your life fell apart more and more, you gelled it more and more, making sure there was never a stray out of place." Blaine's face told Santana her analysis was right. "I knew when your brother was here. Your hair was like shellac. Look, I get it. You think the more you can keep your hair perfectly in place the more power you have over things. It's the only mess in your life you can control, right?"

Blaine had never thought of it that way, but he couldn't deny it might be true. He shrugged noncommittally.

She had to get through to him somehow. She and Brittany were doing this for his own good. He needed to let it go, at least for one night. Just to prove to himself he could and the world would not collapse around him. She stood up and walked around the room as she thought, then an idea hit and she returned to the chair, leaning her hands on the back facing him. "Do you remember the night you gave me your cell number?" she asked, a challenge in her eyes.

"Of course I do," he responded crossing his arms in front of him.

"Do you remember what we sang to you?" she asked with her hands on her hips.

He frowned at first, the memory coming back to him, but then rose to sit at the piano. He played the melody they had sung to him that summer night, only a week or so before his first day at McKinley. Santana crossed over to the piano and leaned against it. When it hit Santana's message, she sang strongly.

_Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright_   
_The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same_   
_Oh, don't you hesitate._

_Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song_   
_You go ahead, let your hair down_   
_Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,_   
_Just go ahead, let your hair down._   
_You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow._

Blaine smiled at his best friend, remembering that very day when he had seen her across the room, staring at Brittany, longing to be with her but too scared to admit the truth about herself. Santana had come so far.

_Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright_   
_The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change._   
_Don't you think it's strange?_

Was it time for him to let it all go? Just stop trying, stop worrying. Go with the flow of his father's harshness, his mother's insecurity, Cooper's selfishness and Kurt's self-determination. Would he really be happier if he just stopped trying to control everything so much? Stopped trying to be in control so much? Was it time to let his hair down again?

_'Twas more than I could take, pity for pity's sake_   
_Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger_   
_When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer?_   
_Do what you want to._   


_Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song_   
_You go ahead, let your hair down_   
_Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,_   
_Just go ahead, let your hair down._

_You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.  
_

But it was silly, thinking that his desire to look good and keep his hair under control had so much emotional baggage behind it. His boxing he knew was both a reaction and coping method, but his hair wasn't a sign of his trauma. He just learned how to take care of himself better, he learned that he liked himself better when his hair was under control. And Kurt certainly liked it that way, so why change it for Brittany or Santana? He'd do his hair his way and it didn't matter what anyone else thought.

"Sorry, 'Tana. My hair's staying the way it is," Blaine said.

Santana frowned at him. "That's too bad, Boyfriend. I'll miss you at prom," she said and she grabbed her books and walked out.

He sighed as she left, angry that Santana would let Brittany take this from him. Why couldn't he just go to one school dance happy and safe like a normal kid?

* * *

Blaine stood with his head in his locker, trading his English books for Physics and mixing just a small amount of gel to reinvigorate the shine of his hair.

"Hey," Kurt called happily behind him and Blaine nearly hit his head on the locker as he whipped around, thoroughly startled. "Sorry," Kurt apologized with an adorable pout.

As his racing heart settled, Blaine closed his locker door and leaned against it. "Don't be sorry, I just wasn't expecting you. Isn't this your daily Rachel Berry locker bonding time?"

"Yes, but she's not there and she's not answering her phone. Have you seen her?" he asked with a frown. "She's been so depressed about NYADA lately, I'm really getting worried."

Blaine shook his head. "Me too. Come on, we'll split up. I'll check the girls' rooms, you check the choir room and the auditorium. Whoever finds her first texts."

She wasn't in the choir room and Kurt headed to the auditorium, hearing her before seeing her. He sent a quick text to Blaine, then entered through the side door pushing aside the curtain. His heart had been breaking for her for days. Her dream of New York and Broadway was bigger than his ever was. He wanted to be in the theater. He wanted to work, sing, dance, design costumes. All she ever wanted was to be a star. And though it wasn't his fault, he couldn't help but feel that he was stealing her dream. She'd lose everything by staying in Ohio. Though Kurt wanted to go, get out and move on, it wasn't the same for him. Half his heart was already staying behind.

_I hope you know, I hope you know_   
_That this has nothing to do with you_   
_It's personal, myself and I_   
_We've got some straightenin' out to do_

As Blaine walked in from backstage, Kurt smiled at him lovingly. He still hadn't truly come to terms with how much it would hurt to be without Blaine. If he was honest, he wouldn't let himself think about it. He knew it tortured Blaine and that he thought about it all the time. But how was he even supposed to leave if he only ever thought about the love he could possibly lose.

_And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket_   
_But I've got to get a move on with my life_   
_It's time to be a big girl now_   
_And big girls don't cry_

Blaine's gaze shifted to the band, then he felt Kurt's eyes on him. He turned back and for only a moment they met, but he saw it. He knew the avoidance. He'd been learning, the last few days and weeks since he'd opened up, that ignoring it was what Kurt needed. He should have always known. Kurt kept his pain hidden as much as Blaine did at times. Denying it was sometimes the only way to keep going.

_But it's time for me to go home_   
_It's getting late, dark outside_   
_I need to be with myself, and center_   
_Clarity, peace, serenity_

_I hope you know, I hope you know_   
_That this has nothing to do with you_   
_It's personal, myself and I_   
_We've got some straightenin' out to do_

And Blaine couldn't deny that a tiny part of him was secretly delighted at the thought that Rachel might be staying behind. Rachel wasn't a replacement for Kurt, but she was a very good friend and could ease his own pain a little. He made sure she knew that if she couldn't be in New York with Kurt, at least she would be in Ohio with him and her smile made his day. Whatever went down in the next few weeks, they had to keep putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time as they moved on.

_And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket_   
_But I've got to get a move on with my life_   
_It's time to be a big girl now_  
And big girls don't cry  


And the first step, like it or not, was Prom. "Rehearsing for prom?" Blaine asked gently, keeping an eye on Kurt. "Because I love that song, but it's sort of a downer, don't you think?" Not that he didn't think Prom would be a downer anyway. Just the thought of Brittany's decree made him sick to his stomach.

"It's just how I'm feeling right now, okay." Rachel got up off the stool and Kurt felt a Rachel rant coming on. "I don't want to watch Finn and Quinn get prom King and Queen at my prom and I don't want to watch him dance with her." Kurt looked at her uncomfortably, given Quinn's current condition. "I know she can't really dance anymore…" Blaine raised an eyebrow at Rachel's insensitivity, "I'm sorry, you know what I mean."

Kurt turned to Blaine, the memories of last year all too much at the forefront of his mind. "She's right. Prom sucks. I don't want to go either."

"Well, you have to go," Blaine told him, with a mischievous glint in his eye. "You're the reigning prom queen. You have to crown the next one."

Rachel agreed, but Kurt wasn't hearing it. "As much as I love a good coronation, I can't risk it," he says. "With this school's strong and insane tradition of write-in ballots, I could get elected prom queen again, all right? And I know I put on a brave face last year, but it was humiliating. And, had I known, I would have worn a full kilt, so…"

They went on, Blaine voicing his fears about Brittany's' "insane ban on hair gel." He chalked it up to balloons and taffeta and baby-fine strands, keeping Santana's opinion to himself, not to mention the fact that his supposed best friend stood firmly behind the ban.

In the end, they found their own solution. An anti-prom at Lima's best hotel that Rachel would secure sounded more fun than anything that McKinley High could imagine.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine snuggled together on the couch watching the evening news before bed. Blaine was once again staying the night at Kurt's, having practically moved into the guest room with Sam. Of course he spent little of the night in the room when Burt was in Washington, and while Carole was aware, she turned a blind eye. She knew the boys needed each other now more than ever and she tried to give them their privacy.

Their hands wandered and excited each other, hidden under a blanket from any wandering eyes that might enter the room, but Blaine's mood was low and it didn't get past Kurt.

"Are you upset about the hair gel or the vote?" Kurt asked.

"It's just North Carolina," Blaine answered dismissively but his voice was mournful and Kurt knew the truth. Every vote against marriage equality hit Blaine like a knife.

"Someday, Blaine," Kurt said, folding him tightly in his arms. "Someday we won't worry about prom or school hallways or where we can and can't choose to raise a family."

"And until then?" Blaine asked turning to him, his eyes misty with unshed tears of lost hope.

"Until then we have each other and we have New York. Or Massachusetts. Though I personally don't see our children being raised in Patriots' Nation. For some reason, Tom Brady's godliness does not override his Michigan history in my father's eyes." Kurt shook his head in disbelief.

Blaine bit his lip at Kurt's adorableness. "No I can't imagine it would," he smiled and his eyes twinkled at his boyfriend, who gazed back curiously. Blaine's hand reached up to Kurt's chest and his eyes went dark and sultry as he undid a button. "Look at you, talking about children and football." He leaned over to Kurt's ear while his other hand slid seductively up Kurt's thigh. "I want you so much right now," he whispered before nibbling on Kurt's ear and neck.

"Well if I had realized it was that easy, maybe I would have turned the conversation a month ago," Kurt teased.

Blaine pulled away in mock offense. "Well, maybe you shouldn't have started texting other…"

Blaine was cut off by Kurt's lips attacking his own, and he smiled and moaned into the kiss, tangling his fingers in Kurt's hair while Kurt took control and pushed Blaine backwards on the couch. Blaine groaned as Kurt pressed his hips into Blaine's and Blaine responded in kind.

"Let's go to bed," Kurt hissed seductively in Blaine's ear. "Screw North Carolina."

"Mmm…" Blaine purred as Kurt's lips hit his sweet spot. "I think that is precisely my intention."

* * *

Blaine, Kurt, Finn and Rachel walked through the door of the Hudmel household after Glee practice. Blaine and Finn went immediately to the kitchen and raided the refrigerator while Kurt rolled his eyes at Rachel and hung up the coats and bags the boys had dropped in the entryway. Rachel followed the boys to help them. Kurt was just about to sit down at the kitchen table and open his homework when his father called.

"Hey Dad!" Kurt beamed. "Everything okay?"

"Turn on the news, Kurt, now," Burt said urgently.

"Dad, what's going on ?" Kurt panicked at hearing Burt out of breath and got up and went to the living room to turn the television on.

"Is Blaine there with you? Make sure he watches too," Burt told him.

His father's cryptic nature was making him nervous as he switched the channel to the news. The ticker on the bottom was running but President Obama's face graced the screen. Kurt had turned it on the just in time.

" _At a certain point, I've just concluded that – for me personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that –I think same-sex couples should be able to get married."_

"Blaine!" Kurt called frantically.

Kurt's tone frightened Blaine and he rushed into the living room to find his boyfriend on the couch, eyes wide open in shock, his face covering his hands. Tears shined and Blaine immediately sat next to him and grabbed Kurt's hands in his own. "Kurt, what is it?" he asked terrified, but he didn't need Kurt's answer as he turned to the screen.

" _When I meet same-sex couples, and I see how caring they are, how much love they have in their hearts- how they're taking care of their kids. When I hear from them the pain they feel that somehow they are still considered less than full citizens when it comes to their legal rights, then, for me, I think it – it just has tipped the scales in that direction."_

Unlike Kurt's, Blaine's tears ran freely as he continued listening to the President. Neither boy noticed that Finn and Rachel had come up behind them, leaning on the couch watching and Rachel also broke down in tears.

"Dad?" Kurt whispered into the phone. "Did you have something to do with this?"

"It's not a lot, Kurt," Burt said, his political hat on his head. "But it's a start son," he said proudly. "It's a start."

* * *

"Blaine," Mrs. Anderson called. "It's time for you to go honey."

Blaine glanced one last time into the mirror, checking his flawlessly coifed hair and fixing his bow tie so that it was perfectly straight. He took a deep breath and smiled. He was determined to not only get through Prom night, but to have an amazing evening.

The minute she saw him she teared up. "You are so handsome," she said as she rushed over to brush any remaining lint off his tuxedo.

"Mom," he whined rolling his eyes, but he also secretly relished the motherly attention. They had been growing apart these last few weeks because of everything with his father. It was nice for her to dote on him again.

"You guys should have rented a limousine," she reprimanded as she fussed.

"You don't take a limo to an anti-prom Mom." He went to the closet to grab his coat and umbrella just in case.

She smiled and grabbed the camera, snapping candid shots of him while she could. "Did you leave me the number of the hotel you guys will be at?" she asked.

"Yes mom, it's on the table. I have to go now," he answered by rote. Maybe he preferred the lack of attention, he thought to himself.

She put the camera down and gathered him in her arms for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, have fun, and be safe," she said with a smile.

He smiled in return. Her warm brown eyes were back and for a moment she was there for him again as she had been when it was just the two of them. "Safe is the plan Mom," he said gently. "I love you too. But if I'm late, Kurt will kill me."

She laughed. "Go then," she said, playfully pushing him out the door.

Blaine felt on top of the world, bouncing down the stairs of the apartment complex and out to his car. This year nothing was going to go wrong because they weren't going to the dance. This year was going to be him and Kurt and his friends, safe and secure and perfectly styled. The only thing more he could ask for was that Santana would drop by after prom to join them.

He hummed and tossed his keys in his hand when a figure came out of the shadows in the parking lot and for a moment Blaine froze in fear. After reminding his legs to start moving again he slowly made his way to his car, which now had a black Ford Expedition by its side. Leaning casually on the car was his father, clearly waiting for him.

Blaine's legs managed to walk to his father's side, but the spring was gone from their step, replaced by a heavy weight now lying squarely across his shoulders. His skin bristled. "What are you doing here?" he asked vigilantly, trying desperately to hold back his conflicting emotions.

"It's prom night," Colonel Anderson said matter-of-factly. "I wanted to see you. I knew you didn't want me up in the apartment, so I waited down here."

"Thanks," Blaine managed softly. He squinted at his father, wondering what his angle was. He was being too kind. But Blaine wasn't going to hide, not anymore. And he refused to allow his father to forbid him to go either. "I'm going with Kurt," he announced flatly.

"I assumed that," Colonel Anderson chuckled softly. His levity left Blaine completely confused. The Colonel noticed and took a step toward Blaine, but Blaine stepped backwards. "Look, Blaine, a dad only gets to see his son dressed for prom once or twice. Aside from this when will I ever see you in a tuxedo?"

"My wedding," Blaine answered, voice clipped.

Blaine's father looked away, staring into the distance. He didn't have to say the words, Blaine heard them loud and clear.  _Don't push your luck kid._  His eyes fell to the gravelly pavement of the parking lot and he resisted the urge to scuff his perfectly shined shoes. "I should be going," Blaine said meekly.

"Your mother told me I scared you. When I texted you that night you didn't come home." Blaine's head snapped up and he caught his father's eye. "I wouldn't have…you know," he finished lamely.

"No," Blaine said shaking his head bitterly. "I don't know. I don't know that at all."

Colonel Anderson sighed and rubbed his hand in his hair with frustration. "Well, have a good time tonight, son. Behave yourself."

"Yes sir," Blaine answered automatically. He waited and watched until his father got in the Expedition and drove away, only then letting go of the breath and tension he'd been holding the entire conversation. He got into his car and pulled down the visor. His fingers subconsciously flew to his hair tucking in one stray curl that had made its way out of his gelled prison before starting the engine.

As he stared in the mirror, he considered that maybe it was possible that Santana had a point.

* * *

At Kurt's house, the mood was decidedly different. Like last year, it was just Kurt and Blaine. Finn and Sam had gone ahead to pick up Mercedes, Finn grumbling about Rachel the whole evening, at one point even getting angry at Kurt for the anti-prom party. Kurt assured Blaine though that he shut that down quickly by suggesting that maybe Finn put Rachel's prom wishes ahead of Quinn this year. Burt and Carole took no shortage of pictures, posed and candid, of their boys. Kurt smiled broadly, tipping his top hat and taking photo after photo with Blaine and his father. He knew it was their last special night together for a long time but he didn't let it get him down. He was determined to have a fabulous evening free of the stress of immature classmates he could not wait to say goodbye to at McKinley. But more than that, he was determined to give Blaine the perfect night. Two school dances had been ruined for him so far by bullies and homophobia and he refused to let him have a third one. Tonight they were in control and Kurt would not let anything bad happen to either of them.

* * *

The anti-prom turned out lame enough that even Blaine was willing to risk going to prom. But the moment Brittany stopped him at the doors, panic set in. He wanted more than anything to go back to the safety of that hotel room, but how could he deny Kurt his senior prom just because of his own insecurity?

"You can do this," Kurt encouraged, and Blaine mustered every ounce of courage and headed alone to the bathroom.

He stopped at his locker to grab his gym bag, then went to the boys' room furthest from the dance on the other side of school, praying for privacy and thanking god when he got it. He went to the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. His first instinct was to fix a hair that had strayed since his last check, and then laughed nervously at himself. It was just his hair, and yet he was sweating and his heart was palpitating as he turned the water in the sink on. It took only five minutes before he realized that Santana was right. Her words to Rachel rang through his head.  _"Stop pretending like you're fine and start dealing with your crap."_ He knew the words had been aimed at him as much as Rachel, but he dealt with his crap all the time. How much more crap did he have to deal with? Wasn't he allowed one vice, one method of controlling the universe?

He turned the water off and paced the floor, allowing himself to run his fingers through his hair to break up the gel some. It was as close as he ever let himself get to going without when Kurt was around. Kurt had seen it messy when they fooled around or in the morning. But he never left the bathroom after a shower without product. No one had seen him like that since he'd left his father's home at 14 years old for Dalton Academy.

There was only one person he could possibly turn to. Only one person who knew his curls, knew his life and knew how to hold it all together. "Please let him answer, please let him answer," he muttered as he dialed the number.

"Hey little brother!" Cooper answered excitedly. "What's happening?"

"Cooper, I need your help, please tell me you're not busy," Blaine begged.

"Blaine, slow down," Cooper said, his tone instantly changing to worry. "What's the matter?"

Blaine colored in embarrassment as he explained the situation and he could feel his brother holding back laughter, but he just kept talking, knowing how ridiculous he sounded being as panicked as he was over a bit of hair gel.

"Ok, Blaine, stop for a minute and take a deep breath," Cooper told him and Blaine obeyed, squeezing his eyes shut. "Now, you said that Santana told you it's your way of controlling everything. Is that true?"

Blaine bit his lip and stared at himself in the mirror. His curls were loose, and beginning to fly away, but they were still under some control. "Yeah. It's true."

"Ok, put me on speaker. Turn the water on and rinse your hair." Blaine froze, willing himself to do what Cooper said, but unable to move. "You can do this."

Blaine heard Kurt's voice in his head as Cooper echoed his boyfriend's words. It gave him the strength and courage he needed. He put the phone on speaker and laid it down on the mantel above the sink. Then he turned the water on. As he took the small container of shampoo and rinsed his hair out in the sink, images flashed behind his closed eyes. Three jocks at he Sadie Hawkins dance, grabbing his hair to hold him in place. His father, coming at him. He shook them from his mind. His curls didn't cause those things and his gel certainly wasn't a glue to keep his life together. The abuse from his father went on long after he'd started to gel his hair, but Santana was right. After the summer and the move to McKinley he gelled it more and more and things had been getting better and better for him. What if washing it out washed away all that progress. What if he went back out to that prom and the jocks were ready to jump him, or he went home and his father was waiting.

"What's going on there, Blaine?" Cooper asked, pulling him out of his reverie. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Blaine said, breathing heavily but coming back to reality. "Coop, how do you hold it all together."

"You mean when it all becomes overwhelming?" he asked.

"Yeah." Blaine dried his now clean hair off with a towel. He brushed it through to unsnarl any knots, than scrunched it completely, hoping that it would maintain some semblance of order after it dried.

"I pretend to be someone else," Cooper admitted. "But you shouldn't do that Blaine, not at Kurt's senior prom. This is for him, not you. It's his night. You just have to be there for him. Like you were last year."

Blaine sighed and leaned against the wall, still not ready to go out there. "When does it get to be my night, Cooper?"

"You do this for him little brother, and I think it's entirely fair to ask that the rest of the night gets to be your night," Cooper said suggestively.

Blaine let a small smile slip, and then a chuckle, and gradually he found himself grinning into the mirror.  He grabbed the phone back from the ledge. "Well, I think that is my cue to tell you good night then Cooper."

"Love you little brother. Have a good time and stay safe," Cooper said.

"Love you too. And thank you," Blaine smiled.

* * *

" _Don't you dare," Kurt told him lovingly when Brittany gave him permission to gel again. "I love finally getting to see the real you. The man without the product, and I want everyone here to know just how proud I am of my brave, handsome, bushy-haired boyfriend."_

Blaine didn't know how many times it was possible to fall in love with someone, but he fell in love all over again with Kurt in that moment and tears of happiness welled in his eyes.

Santana and Quinn sang Take My Breath Away and they danced hand in hand, less afraid than the year before. Couples kissed around them but they could wait. So far even with the lame anti-prom party, the hair gel crisis and the surprise prom queen, their night was still remarkably uneventful and they wanted to keep it that way. When Blaine pulled close to kiss Kurt's neck, Kurt gently pushed him back and gave him a look. They silently agreed, eyes sparkling, that their kisses and more were better left for them and them alone. They left for the hotel before Finn and Rachel, agreeing to meet them in the restaurant for breakfast the next morning.

Leaving first meant that they could take the bigger bedroom in the suite. They slipped out of their jackets and ties and loosened their shirts. Kurt instantly ran his fingers through the curls and Blaine blushed.

"Another milestone, I guess," Blaine said sheepishly. "Congratulations, you have now seen me completely au natural."

"Oh no, Blaine," Kurt said eyeing the layers of clothing covering his gorgeous boyfriend's body. "This is far from au natural." Kurt grinned naughtily as he straddled Blaine and leaned over, pressing his lips and hips together with Blaine's at the same time. Kurt kissed deeply, begging Blaine for entrance and Blaine teased until finally he parted his lips and let Kurt taste him. Blaine sucked in Kurt's lower lip as Kurt grabbed hold of Blaine's hair, twirling the curls around his fingers. "Is this okay?" he whispered cautiously against Blaine's lips. The last thing he wanted to do was trigger anything. But Blaine nodded emphatically, his eyes opening momentarily, blazing so hot Kurt almost felt it on his skin.

Kurt slowly unbuttoned Blaine's shirt, pulling it apart as he reached beneath his undershirt, running fingers up and down his perfectly toned chest.

"I love you," Blaine purred as Kurt moved his lips to Blaine's neck, mirroring the hickey he had tried to give Kurt on the dance floor.

"I love you too." Kurt sat up above him, still for a moment. "Thank you, for coming with me to prom. And for putting up with Brittany. I don't know what got into her."

"Santana," Blaine answered heavily. "But she was right."

Kurt wanted to ask more, but Blaine didn't offer and he wouldn't pry. Blaine's silence told him there was far more to the story than balloons and taffeta and his boyfriend had been through far more that evening than even he'd been aware.

"Did you have a good night, Gorgeous, at your senior prom?" Blaine asked, hoping it had all been worth it.

"Yes I did," Kurt smiled, kissing him an appreciation. But now that Kurt understood how stressful it had been for Blaine, all he wanted to do was change that. "Let me make the night just as good for you?" he asked coyly.

Blaine's eyes darkened and closed as he nodded. "Please," he whispered, begging for Kurt to take away all the fear and tension of the evening. Kurt was slow and sure, gentle and passionate, and he made sure that Blaine's memories of the night were as filled with love as the love that overflowed from both of their hearts.


	23. Props & Nationals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite scene of all in these episodes are not in this story, but I need to give a huge shoutout to Zach Woodlee who choreographed Klaine and Brittana together in Paradise by the Dashboard Light. As you read this fic, just remember that that *actually* happened. Oh, and Blaine was sitting next to Santana in the locker room. *swoon*

Blaine took his and Kurt's coffee from the Lima Bean counter and returned to the couches, handing over Kurt's cup and joining him on the loveseat. It kind of felt like walking into a storm as the conversation between Kurt, Mike, Santana and Brittany started to get heated.

"Look Kurt, I appreciate that she's your hag and all, but Rachel needs to get her head out of New York and into Nationals, or we are going to leave McKinley losers," Santana barked as she got more and more riled up. "And frankly since I started my high school career on top, I have absolutely no desire or intention to leave at the bottom. I know it's different for the two of you…"

"Tana," Blaine warned and Brittany also put a hand on her girlfriend's knee to calm her. Santana sat back in her chair and folded her arms with a huff.

"Santana's right though," Brittany said delicately. "If we don't do something, we're going to lose."

"I think we need to up the choreography," Mike said, agreeing with Brittany. "Vocal Adrenaline's moves are amazing. We can't even begin to compete with that."

"That's not the problem," Blaine said quietly.

Everyone but Kurt turned to him expectantly. Kurt didn't have to, he already knew what Blaine was going to say and he agreed one hundred percent. "Look guys, New Directions is amazing. Obviously. I mean, you beat the Warblers two years in a row. And we performed incredibly for Sectionals and Regionals, especially with the Troubletones," he said, glancing at Santana and Brittany. The girls smiled at him, Santana smug and Britt appreciative. "Kurt told me before Sectionals that the reason New Directions wins is because we sing from our hearts. And he's completely right. But that's not enough to beat Vocal Adrenaline."

"Then what is?" Mike asked.

"Teamwork. We can't bring each other down," he said pointedly to Santana, "and we can't create choreography that half our guys can't do," he said to Brittany and Mike. "We have to feature our best vocalists and support them and play as a true team. No more petty crap. We win together or we lose together."

Kurt smiled proudly. So did Santana. "Boy's right," she said with a smirk.

Blaine looked at each and every one of them. He loved them all and he would miss them all so much, each in their own way. Santana's spunk, Brittany's innocence, Mike's determination and Kurt's…well, he would miss everything there was about Kurt. His eyes rested on the oceans of blue that shined back at him and he wanted nothing more than to kiss his lips. But he didn't. He turned back to his friends, all moving on, moving forward, while he was left behind. "We have one last chance. Let's make it count."

* * *

"So what do you think was up with Tina today?" Blaine asked as he and Kurt walked hand in hand into the mall.  "She seemed so upset in Glee."

Kurt looked at him as if he'd lost his mind, then shook his head. "You and Rachel are exactly the same," he rolled his eyes. "It's not easy being in your shadows. Have you already forgotten that conversation we had about me sitting on a stool watching you sing?"

"Actually I've tried to block that whole conversation from my mind," Blaine said under his breath.

Kurt side-eyed his boyfriend and laughed, linking his arm in Blaine's. "Come on, poor baby. I'll take you to Brooks Brothers."

Blaine's face lit up as he walked in the store and he worked his way methodically through the racks. He'd pull out a shirt or pair of pants he would like and would hand it to Kurt, who either smiled and draped it over his arm or quickly put it back with a crinkle of his nose. When he had a good collection, Blaine went into the dressing room to try on his wares. Kurt sat outside on a large comfortable armchair, like a judge on Project Runway, looking Blaine up and down every time he came out. Blaine kept waiting for Kurt to tell him he was "out," but in the end he emerged with three Hummel approved outfits. Kurt gave him carte blanche on the bowties and he picked two Madras Patch and one Social Primer reversible. He paid with his father's credit card; the man owed him anyway.

"So what am I hearing about you going to spy on Vocal Adrenaline tomorrow?" Blaine asked with a twinkle in his eye as they walked toward the Department stores for Kurt. "Didn't you learn your lesson when you came to Dalton?"

"I think the lesson I learned at Dalton was that spying has its benefits," Kurt reasoned.

"Well you best focus on the performance this time around and not on any of the benefits," Blaine said with a frown.

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and nudged him with his hip. "I only go for lead singers and Unique is just not my type," he promised. "My turn," Kurt called nearly skipping to the Marc Jacobs collection at the Department store.

Kurt was a determined and focused shopper and he systematically explored the shelves until he found the perfect shirt, holding it up to Blaine for approval.

"As long as you don't wear that to Vocal Adrenaline tomorrow, I think it's the sexiest shirt you've ever bought," Blaine teased. Kurt took the shirt to counter and paid with cash from his under the table wages from the tire shop. "You know Kurt, if this whole NYADA thing doesn't pan out, I seriously think you should consider getting a job with the CIA."

"I am kind of a super spy at this point," Kurt agreed and thanked the cashier. "I'm going to shoot the film in true vintage style too since we loved  _The Artist_  so much."

"Fancy," Blaine said in mocked awe. "If they won't accept you at the CIA, then a career in cinematography is a definite third choice."

"How about we just assume that NYADA will work out," Kurt said.

Blaine quickly changed the subject. "Frozen Yogurt or pretzels," he asked.

"Frozen Yogurt, definitely," Kurt responded, Blaine's teasing forgotten in exchange for a delicious treat. "The stress of Nationals requires it." 

"Fine," Blaine acquiesced. "But we'll get pretzels later." He reached for Kurt's bag, who happily handed it over. "Why don't you go get the yogurt and I'll take the bags back to the car. Meet you in the massage chairs?" he asked with a grin.

"Of course." Kurt winked and spun around to head back to the food court.

Blaine had gotten a parking spot close to the main mall entrance, right outside the movie theater. He threw the bags gently into the back seat, Kurt would kill him if he got everything wrinkled before they even got the garments home, and clicked the button to lock the doors. Glancing over to the movie theater to see what was playing, his eyes were instantly drawn to familiar figures: Coach Beiste and Cooter going hand in hand into the theater whispering to one another. Blaine pursed his lips, considering whether or not to go up to her, but he knew it didn't matter. If he couldn't get his own mother away from a man who hurt her, hurt _them_ , what made him think he could help anyone else.

He breathed out deeply and cleared his head. It wasn't his problem. Right now his focus had to be Kurt and Nationals. They were the only two things that mattered. He flung open the mall door, nearly knocking into a little boy who was coming out, and once again took a moment to center himself. Time in the massage chair would certainly help.

He grinned when he saw Kurt licking his vanilla cone and felt his body stir when Kurt caught his eye and seductively licked a strip of yogurt from the scoop. He had know doubt Kurt had ordered a cone on purpose, knowing it drove Blaine wild. Kurt smirked even more as Blaine sat down and he slipped the dollar into the massage chair. Blaine took a long sip of the coffee milkshake Kurt had gotten him, eyes twinkling at his beautiful boyfriend.

"I don't know about you, but I'm very much looking forward to the welding routine," Blaine said laying back in the chair with his eyes closed. "Watching you work on a piece of metal, sparks flying…" His cheeks flushed at the thought. "It'll be like watching you in the shop, your hands deep in the guts of an engine. So sexy."

"I can't believe Coach Sylvester won't stop talking about that damn dress," Kurt grumbled next to him.

Blaine opened his eyes and turned to Kurt. "I mean, I'm behind you 100%, being gay doesn't mean you're a crossdresser, that's just silly."

Kurt was about to answer when his attention was drawn to the escalators. "Is that Tina?"

Blaine turned and his face brightened. "Hey Tina, what are you doing here?

She rambled about costumes and Rachel, her arms full of bolts of fabric that caught Kurt's discerning eye. She seemed still as upset as she was when she left the choir room that afternoon, then scrambled as her phone went off. Completely distracted, she walked away from the boys and directly into the fountain.

"Oh, my goodness, Tina," Kurt said, jumping up from the chair and running to the fountain.

Blaine followed close behind, still holding his coffee milk shake. "Tina, are you okay?" he asked worried.

"Did she have to take the bolt of fabric with her?" Kurt grimaced. "The silk charmeuse is worth like 25 bucks a yard."

Blaine glared at Kurt but Tina just smiled at them. They looked back curiously.

"Are you sure you're okay Tina? Why don't we get you back to your car," Blaine suggested. He handed the bolts of fabric to Kurt who shrunk back from the water dripping off of them, holding them as far from his clothing as he possibly could. Blaine checked Tina's eyes to make sure they weren't dilated, but she assured them she was fine. They walked her out to her car, Blaine careful to make sure she was walking well on her own. Blaine got her in the car and Kurt laid the delicate and soaked fabric carefully on the backseat.

"Call me tonight and I'll walk you through how to salvage that charmeuse," Kurt told her.

"Thanks Kurt," Tina smiled.

They watched her drive away and Blaine sighed. "I'm willing to forego that pretzel if you want to just go home and change your clothes."

Kurt's clothing was only damp, not as wet as Blaine's had gotten holding on to Tina, but he didn't feel like going back into the mall. "I'll text Carole to let her know we'll be home for dinner."

* * *

Blaine walked with Kurt from the car to the Hudmel house hand in hand. Their clothes were nearly dry from the drive alone, but Kurt had been unusually quiet on the ride home so Blaine left their bags on the front porch then led him around back to Carole's garden. "You want to tell me what's bothering you?" Blaine asked, worried. "Tina will be fine. So will the charmeuse," Blaine said knowingly. "I don't think you have to worry."

Kurt swung Blaine's hand lightly, but kept his eyes trained ahead of him. "It's not Tina or the charmeuse. All your talk about being a team player," Kurt started hesitantly. He never wanted to let Blaine down, but he also didn't want to do anything that made him uncomfortable. "You…" Kurt bit his lip nervously.

Blaine tugged Kurt down onto a bench and lifted Kurt's chin to meet his eyes. "What is it?"

Kurt grimaced uneasily. "I know you said you were behind me 100%, but I can't help but wonder if you'd feel the same way if I wasn't your boyfriend. I mean, Coach Sylvester thinks it will help us win against Unique but we know she's absolutely crazy and I just can't bear the thought…" Kurt ranted rapidly, but Blaine stopped him with a kiss that at once was deepened by them both. The wind whistled around them and the sweet scent of flowers filled their senses as their love filled their hearts and calmed Kurt.

"I would never want you to do anything that made you feel unsafe," Blaine assured him.  "Boyfriend or not."

"But do you think we would win? If I did it?" Kurt asked unsure.

"Honestly? No," Blaine answered firmly. "I don't think having the same gimmick as the other team is going to help us at all. It works for Unique because that's who she is and from what you've told me, she's just pure joy up there on that stage. And while I'm sure you would fill that dress amazingly, your heart wouldn't be in it and it would fall completely flat."

Kurt's eyebrows raised at Blaine's last comment. "But, would  _you_  want me to wear it?" he smirked, tickling Blaine's chest temptingly.

Blaine's forehead creased and his nose wrinkled. "Honestly Kurt," he said gently taking Kurt's hand in his. "It's not really my thing."

"Oh thank god." Kurt sighed with relief and the tension released from his body. Blaine laughed and kissed him again, grinning broadly above Kurt's lips.

"I love you, Kurt Hummel." Blaine kissed a third time, immediately filling Kurt up with the taste of him. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck and hummed into the kiss before pulling away gently. "I've been wanting to do that all day you know," Blaine told him.

"I know," Kurt chuckled. "I can see you eying me from across the room Blaine, it doesn't take much to notice it when I'm right next to you."

"Well, I can't help myself," Blaine frowned. "You're too delicious. And I hate missing any moment I have with you. I just want you all the time."

Kurt smiled softly and placed a hand on Blaine's cheek. "I love you too, Blaine Anderson," he whispered. "And you have me now. My lips are all yours."

Blaine took advantage of the invitation and Kurt melted into him, seizing every moment until Carole called them in for dinner.

* * *

Santana jogged up to Blaine at his locker, hugging her books to her chest. "Hey, Boyfriend, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked.

His curiosity was apparent and he grabbed his books, checked his hair and closed the locker door. "Sure," he said cautiously. They hadn't talked much since the whole hair gel situation at Prom. He thought she felt guilty. She thought he was angry.

They walked down the hall together toward the auditorium where Blaine was anxiously awaiting the chance to watch Kurt grinding metal. "So, are we okay?" Santana asked apprehensively.

Try as he might, Blaine could never hold a grudge. "Yeah, of course 'Tana. We're good." He looked at her as she bit her lip nervously. "Something else on your mind?"

Santana stopped him outside the auditorium door and they smiled at Sam , Rory and Artie as they went inside. Blaine peaked in and Kurt and their teachers were already inside. "Look, I know this is hard for you to talk about," Santana started hesitantly, and Blaine turned his attention back to her. "Mercedes saw Beiste and Cooter at the movies last night. Together."

"Yeah," Blaine sighed immediately, eyes downcast. "Yeah, I saw them too. Don't want to say I told you so, but…"

"So what do we do?" Santana asked.

"Tana, if I knew the answer to that then my own mother wouldn't be going back night after night to the man that abused us. Her visits aren't court ordered," he said wryly. He took a breath and shrugged. "I'd say just talk to her. If she's ready then maybe it will help. But if she's not, then it won't. Don't expect too much."

Brittany and Mercedes came up behind them and other glee clubbers filed their way into the auditorium as well. Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and Santana grabbed Blaine's and they made their way up on to the stage, each grabbing a helmet and finding their places. Kurt was up front fiddling with the grinder and Blaine smiled. He couldn't wait for the sparks to fly.

* * *

The doorbell rang just as Santana's lips had met Brittany's and their tongues had begun to dance. Brittany lay underneath the brunette, her cheerleading uniform in disarray from where the wandering hands of her girlfriend had slipped underneath her skirt. Sweat beaded on their silky skin.

"You gonna get that?" Brittany asked breathlessly but Santana shook her head vehemently. She had other plans.

When it rang again, Brittany giggled and pulled away and Santana collapsed onto her back. "I'm going to kill whoever is at that door."

She straightened her own uniform and stormed out of her room to the front door. Flinging it open she yelled before she even looked. "Whatever you want, go away, I am in the middle of f…" Her voice trailed off as she took in the sight of an injured Noah Puckerman staring at her forlornly. "Puck, what the hell?" She grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. He had a bruise above and below his left eye and it looked like he'd been crying.

"My mom would kill me if I went home like this," he said with a little boy pout and Santana rolled her eyes. Of course they would end their school career exactly the way it had begun.

"Come on," Santana said over her shoulder as she headed to the bathroom.

Brittany came out to see what the commotion was and she frowned at Puck, wrinkling her nose. "Why do you smell like a dumpster? Did the trash punch you in the eye?"

Santana grabbed him roughly and plopped him down on the closed toilet. "Sit," she ordered. "Shirt off." As he complied, she pulled antiseptic and gauze out from under the sink and began to clean up the wounds Puck had hidden beneath his clothes. While she dabbed at the cuts, Brittany went into Santana's parent's room and grabbed some clothing from Mr. Lopez.

"You're an idiot, Puckerman," Santana snapped. "What the hell are you doing getting into a fight? Looking to spend next year in prison instead of college? You're eighteen years old, there's no more juvie for you."

"Rick started it. Somehow got wind of that stupid dress I put on for Glee and came at me. What am I supposed to do, turn away from a fight? You know I can't do that," Puck answered.

Santana softened as she threw out the bandages. "Yes," she smiled gently, memories of her and Puck twinkling in her eye. She touched his cheek affectionately. "I do know that very well."

Brittany bounced back into the bathroom. "I got you some clean clothes." She folded them neatly on the counter.

"Take a shower," Santana told him, pulling out a towel from the linen closet and throwing it at him. "No coming into my room until the smell of dumpster is completely gone."

Puck agreed and closed the door after the girls left. He ran the water and took a short but hot shower, washing away the grime of the dumpster and the shame of the afternoon. As he washed his hair with Santana's shampoo he smiled to himself that she still used the same products she had six years ago.

He dried off and got dressed in Santana's father's clothing then met the girls in Santana's bedroom. Brittany smiled up at him as he walked in. "That's much better."

Puck sat on the edge of the bed next to Santana, drawing his knee in. "Thanks babe," he said sincerely. "Brings back old times, doesn't it."

Santana laughed. "Sure does. Best year of our relationship when you were in 8th grade and I was in 7th. We ruled that school," she remembered.

"We were such badasses," he reminisced. "That fight with Monroe was legendary."

"I remember you punching him with everything you had after he said those things about me," Santana said fondly.

"I remember you mirroring every punch, blow for blow. You laid into him better than any guy ever could. I'd never met a girl like you before, Santana Lopez."

"I learned so much about you after that," she said placing a hand on his knee and he smirked. She sneered at him and poked his chest. "I don't mean in the bedroom you egotist."

"That's a story I want to hear." Brittany wiggled her eyebrows, suggestively.

Santana winked at her but Puck's focus was entirely on Santana. "That was my first trip to Juvie," Puck sighed softly.

"You went to court and you took the entire blame. Monroe didn't want anyone to know that a girl beat him up. You could have sold me out, but you didn't. You did the time for both of us." She looked at him thoughtfully. His eyes were sad and she hated to see him like that. "That's the kind of person you are Puck. Whether it's a dress and a wig, or juvenile hall, you'll do anything for the people you love. Don't change that."

They were quiet for a moment. Brittany moved over and patted a space in between her and Santana. Puck crawled in between the girls and closed his eyes as they both snuggled into him. He knew better than to try to cop a feel with Santana, but his hand instinctively traced slowly up Brittany's leg from her knee to her thigh and underneath her skirt until he felt a sharp sting on his hand.

"Hands off my girlfriend, Puckerman," Santana snarled and he held his hand up in surrender and put it chastely back around Brittany's waist. Brittany reached over to get the remote and started the movie the girls had put in earlier. Santana reached her hand over Puck and caressed Britt's leg. They had just settled in when Santana's phone rang.

She sighed and snuck away from Puck's embrace and answered her phone. "This better be good Blaine, I had just gotten comfortable."

"Tana, I need…nevermind. If it's not a good time." Santana could hear the distress in his voice but she could also see Puck's hand starting to reach back down to Brittany's skirt and slip underneath.

"I'm sorry Blaine, it's really not a good time. Can I meet you tomorrow before school?" she asked hastily.

"Yeah, sure, of course," he said and she closed her eyes at the tone of his voice. She knew she was being selfish but over on the bed Puck was gearing up for something that simply was not going to happen.

"I'll text you in the morning," she promised and said a quick goodbye. Turning to the bed she placed her hands on her hips and her eyes blazed. "Get your hands off my girlfriend before I cut them off!"

* * *

Dinner with his father was the last thing that Blaine had wanted to do that evening, but Kurt already had plans with Mercedes while Mike and Tina and Santana and Brittany were spending their evenings alone.

"So how are things going for Nationals, Blaine. You guys going to make McKinley proud?"

"It's pretty good, I guess. Coach Sylvester has been trying to dump a bunch of gimmicks on us, but I think in the end it will all turn out okay."

Blaine's cell phone buzzed and though he knew better, he reached for it anyway to read the text. He took in a breath at the message, but hastily returned it to his pocket and glanced back up to his father as if nothing had happened. He hadn't been discrete enough though.

His father stared harshly at him and Blaine's heart dropped. "You know the rules, Blaine, no cell phones at the table." Colonel Anderson reached a hand out and beckoned Blaine when he didn't move. "Hand it over."

Blaine thought about fighting but he simply sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket and put it in his father's hand. The Colonel instantly turned it on and began scrolling through.

"Dad," Blaine protested, but he knew there was no point.

"Your cell phone becomes public when you use it at the dinner table Blaine." He read the last message that was sent, his eyes flashing angrily to Blaine then returning to the phone as he clicked the link to the video. He watched the ten second clip that Blaine had ignored and stared up at Blaine. Blaine blanched. "Do you want to explain to me what this is?"

Blaine looked away, unable to meet his father's eyes as his heart raced. "It's not a big deal," he said meekly, but it only served to fuel his father's explosion.

" **This is what happens when you gay glee clubbers dress up in your pretty dresses."**  Colonel Anderson read from the phone.  **"You or your boyfriend Hummel try this Anderson and it's lights out."** Blaine didn't need to look up, he felt the heat, he knew what was coming as he heard his father stand and lean toward him with his hands on the table. "You and your boyfriend crossdressing now Blaine?"

"No," he snapped, jumping out of his seat and meeting his father's eye. "God, why does everyone think that just because we're gay we're going to happily dress in skirts," he yelled angrily, sick of having this discussion. "Puck is about as straight as can be and he did it because he thought it might help us win. And because Kurt's been saying no for days now, but Coach Sylvester refuses to listen."

"This is about Nationals?" his father asked incredulously. "Because if it is, you are not going."

"Like hell I'm not." Blaine firmly held his ground as his father came around the table and advanced on him. "What are you going to do, hit me?" he yelled. "Go back to trying to beat the gay out of me?" He stood posturing. "Go ahead, have at me!"

Blaine saw his father's hands twitch, the tell-tale sign and they stared each other in the eye for over a minute. Finally, Colonel Anderson stepped back. "Go home Blaine. Let's take a break."

Blaine's face twisted  with fury and surprise, but he finally nodded, backing away himself as he grabbed his bag off the couch. "Why don't I just stay away for good," he spat as he opened the front door and slammed it behind him.

He made it to the car before his entire body began to shake. Provoking his father was probably the stupidest thing he'd ever done, but he had no idea what to make out of the fact that it hadn't worked. He thought of calling Kurt, but he knew that he'd be angry at Blaine for trying to provoke his father, not to mention Kurt's anger toward his father or the bullies and Coach Sylvester for the text and for hurting Puck and the whole crossdressing idea in the first place. He'd decided to call Santana, as his breathing slowly returned to normal.

"This better be good Blaine, I had just gotten comfortable," she answered roughly and he remembered too late that she was spending the evening with Brittany.

"Tana, I need…" He needed to talk. He needed someone who would drop everything to listen to him. He needed a damn mother who would be there for him no matter what. But Santana wasn't those things and he couldn't expect her to be. "Nevermind. If it's not a good time."

"I'm sorry Blaine, it's really not a good time. Can I meet you tomorrow before school?" she asked hastily.

"Yeah, sure, of course." He closed his eyes. He felt lost and alone. He thought he should be used to it by now, but he wasn't.

"I'll text you in the morning," she promised and said a quick goodbye.

Blaine sighed, started the car, and drove home. His mother asked how dinner went when he arrived home and he shrugged her off. He didn't think she really cared anyway. She would no doubt take his father's side. He got ready for bed and climbed in, sleeping fitfully until exhaustion finally overtook him.

* * *

Blaine got Santana's text in the morning and he made his way from the car to the auditorium, still reeling from the previous night. He'd been quiet with his mother that morning and he wouldn't be surprised if his father had called her to tell her what happened, but she didn't mention it. He hadn't mentioned it to Kurt either. The entire conversation would have greatly angered Kurt. And the text itself would have thrown him and Burt into a rage.

He entered the auditorium through the side door and was about to push aside the curtain when he heard Puck sing. His brain told him to turn around and leave but his feet were frozen in the blackness, transfixed by the Taylor Swift song.

_You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me_   
_You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I'm nothing_   
_You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I'm wounded_   
_You, pickin' on the weaker man_

After Prom, Blaine had allowed himself hope again that things would change, that his father might finally be accepting him. But it was a pipe dream that would never come true. Every time he found himself standing tall, his father would knock him down again.

_Well, you can take me down with just one single blow_   
_But you don't know what you don't know_

_Someday I'll be living in a big old city_   
_And all you're ever gonna be is mean_   
_Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me_   
_And all you're ever gonna be is mean_   
_Why you gotta be so mean?  
_

The tears came fast and unexpected as the tension he'd been holding since the night before poured out. He hated it. He didn't want to feel this anymore. He wanted to be fine. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, willing his sobs to be silent as the words tore him apart.  _Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me._  He felt his knees grow weak and he nearly sunk to the ground when he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Shh…it's going to be okay," she whispered and he turned to Santana's warm gaze, falling into her arms. "I'm here."

_You, with your switching sides and your walk-by lies and your humiliation_   
_You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them_   
_I'll walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you_   
_I just wanna feel okay again_

Together they sat against the wall, Santana cradling his head as he listened to words he needed to hear. She wanted more than anything for him to feel okay again, to not have to deal with this day in and day out. How she attracted boys in pain, she didn't know, but as she listened to Puck's voice sing the words that were so true for both of them, her heart ached and she regretted hanging up on Blaine the night before.

_I'll bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold_   
_But the cycle ends right now 'cause you can't lead me down that road_   
_And you don't know what you don't know_

This had been the final straw. He refused to let this go on any longer. He wouldn't risk his friendships and his relationships. Though it was his greatest fear, he would never ever be the man his father was, not to Kurt and not to his own children.

"Sing it," Santana told him and Blaine quietly sang in the darkness with Puck, letting the words give him the strength and resolve he needed.

_Someday I'll be living in a big old city_   
_And all you're ever gonna be is mean_   
_Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me_   
_And all you're ever gonna be is mean_   
_Why you gotta be so mean?  
_

"I hate that song," Blaine said dryly. It was everything he felt.

Santana chuckled and took Blaine's hand. "Come on," she whispered and led Blaine out of the dark auditorium into the bright hallways. Blaine squinted and hid his tear stained eyes as she led him to the empty Cheerios lounge. Santana sat him on the couch and sidled up next to him. "I'm sorry. I should have talked to you last night."

Blaine shyed away. "That's ok, you were busy."

They were quiet, lost in their own thoughts. Blaine was tired of talking about his father, Santana feared she had abandoned him when he needed her most. "Did he hit you again?" she finally asked.

"No. I told him to, but he didn't." His voice was small and ashamed.

"Why?" she asked more harshly than she intended. "Why would you do that?"

Blaine didn't say anything. He simply fished his phone out of his pocket and scrolled to the text, handing it over. Santana read it and sprung out of her seat. "I'm going to kick their asses," she yelled.

"No," Blaine said softly, holding her arm. "No more violence, Santana. What they did to Puck was enough. Delete the text, I don't want Kurt to see it."

She paced back and forth a few times before doing as he said and sitting back down. "Puck came over last night. That's why I couldn't talk."

"You to used to be good friends, weren't you," he asked.

"The best," she told him, her eyes trained distantly on the wall as she remembered. "We took care of each other. His dad was never around and his mom didn't care. He always felt so alone and unloved. And I was so badass, pretending to be the girl I wanted to be instead of the girl I was. We were perfect for a while."

Blaine nodded, those words reverberating in his head.  _We were perfect for a while_. "What happens when  _a while_  isn't forever?" he asked, heavy-hearted.

She looked at him, his eyes so sad and scared of the past and the future. "Oh Boyfriend," she soothed, wrapping her arms around him and rocking him slightly. "Just live in the present. Forget all that other stuff. You're safe and you're loved and you're headed to Nationals. With me," she grinned and she managed a smile out of him as well. "And with Kurt. With all the people who love you. Let the rest of it go for a few days. There will be time enough for pain. We've got moments of joy coming up, so let's just take these moments in. Deal?"

Blaine looked at her. She was right. He took a deep breath in and let as much of the tension as he could go as he breathed out. It wasn't like at Dalton, where he held it all in, putting a mask of happiness on top of it. This was real. "Deal," he smiled.

* * *

As the Troubletones got into position behind the curtain and the judges were announced, Kurt fidgeted nervously backstage. Blaine looked over and smiled, massaging his shoulders like he had almost a year ago. So much had changed, and yet so much stayed the same. He tried to do what Santana said and not think about what the next year would bring.

"I'm so happy to be here at Nationals with you," Blaine said lovingly. "It's much better than waiting at home."

Kurt sparkled, smiling up at Blaine. "Definitely. I can't wait to dance Paradise with you. I couldn't ask for a better performance to be our last together." Blaine's hands stopped as his eyes filled with tears. Kurt quickly turned around and hugged him. "Don't cry, I meant our last competition together, that's all." Kurt wiped the tears from Blaine's cheeks.

"I know what you meant," Blaine sniffled, though it didn't change the fact that it could be their last. "I'm just going to miss this so much. New Directions won't be the same without you," he said looking out on the stage. "And her."

_There ain't no reason you and me should be alone_   
_Tonight, yeah, baby! Tonight!_   
_And I got a reason that you're who should take me home tonight_

"She is incredible," Kurt agreed watching Santana. "They all are. Mercedes, Quinn. And Tina. You two are going to rule the show choir circuit next year."

"Blaine," Mike whispered. It's almost time, come on."

"Love you," Blaine said as he quickly kissed Kurt on the lips.

"Break a leg, handsome," Kurt smiled and he went to wait with Finn and Rachel.

_I'm on the edge of glory_   
_And I'm hanging on a moment of truth_   
_Out on the edge of glory_   
_And I'm hanging on a moment with you_   
_With you, with you, with you, with you_   
_I'm on the edge with you_

"She didn't come," Rachel said stepping forward and checking the seat one more time. Carmen's seat remained empty. Kurt wondered if he should say something, but what could he say? He was very likely going. She was very likely not. It broke his heart, but nothing he could say would make it better.

Finn though could make it better. "Stop it. Look at me." Kurt watched his stepbrother closely. Finn had a way of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to many people. But Rachel he knew inside and out and if anyone could get her back to focusing on the competition, it was him. "This is your moment. Three years in the making, forget about everything else," Finn urged. "Take it."

Rachel looked at him and turned to the stage, resolved and focused. Kurt smiled. No matter what, Rachel would win this for them.

* * *

Some of them slept on the five hour bus ride home, but most were far too excited to rest. They sang most of the drive, passing around the trophy, laughing and reminiscing about the craziness in the hotels. But by the last hour, an uneasiness began to settle over them. They'd be coming straight back to school and they had no idea how they would be received. Last year they had been a laughing stock with a 12th place finish. Would anyone at McKinley care if they won first place?

They slowly made their way into the school, Artie holding the trophy on his lap as Finn wheeled him. Rachel stood front and center in her white dress, having lamented for the past half hour at how destroyed it would be with a slushie thrown at it. The crowd frightened them and they stared apprehensively as two hockey players came toward them, slushie cups in their hands.

Kurt and Blaine both instantly started to panic. Blaine's mind went immediately to the text he'd received earlier in the week, as well as the last slushie that had been thrown at him. His stomach flip-flopped and his first instinct was to take Kurt's hand and run. But Kurt's head was high and he kept moving forward along with everyone else. Blaine nervously held his ground.

When the confetti came flying down on them it took both Kurt and Blaine a moment to realize what was happening. They were both in shock, unable to believe it when the entire school cheered for them. A hockey player came up to hug Kurt, and Blaine's goofy grin could not escape his face. The entire thing was surreal.

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him into the choir room before everyone else could make their way inside. Kurt was smiling and breathless. "Are you okay?" Blaine asked him, his own heart still beating twice its usual rate.

"What the hell was that Blaine?" Kurt asked, unable to take his eyes off the mayhem outside.

Blaine shrugged and grinned. "The New Directions are like Rockstars."

Kurt stared at him in disbelief then wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Blaine hesitated only slightly before allowing it as the thoughts of slushies and threats disappeared from his mind. The only things that mattered were Kurt and Nationals. And he'd won them both.

As Rachel brought the trophy in and he stood by Santana's side, he was so proud of the work they had all done that year. So much was about to change, but in this moment, Blaine had everything he could possibly want. He looked over at Kurt, who stood so proud of the trophy placed in its case. Kurt had three years of blood, sweat and tears behind that trophy and Blaine was so glad to have been able to help bring it home for him. After all, Kurt was his one and only rock star.


	24. Gleeduation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hard for me to believe that this is the final chapter of this story. Writing this story has made season 3 mean so much more to me and I absolutely loved the entire season for everything it had and everything it left me to explore. And I am so happy that I originally posted this final chapter on Memorial Day. It is quite fitting I think.
> 
> This episode was not goodbye, no matter what they called it, so I refused the name and called this chapter Gleeduation. There is one other AU moment in the chapter. I have added Brittany to the underclassman song because it made no sense that she didn't sing it.
> 
> Tears and dedications will be at the end. I do not own Glee, or A Knight's Tale from where I stole one of my favorite lines, nor do I own LOTR. Without further ado my lovely readers, here's what you missed on Glee.

Kurt was mid facial, applying the firming cream beneath his eyes, his brow and his no doubt soon to be deepening frown lines with graduation looming, when Finn barged into his room.

"Finn Hudson," Kurt yelled with a deadly glare and Finn recoiled.

"Oh, sorry, Dude, forgot." He turned around and knocked on the door loudly. Kurt simply rolled his eyes.

"What do you want Finn," he asked impatiently as he poured the moisturizer into his hand and rubbed it onto his porcelain skin. It was almost time to call Blaine, so Finn needed to hurry this up.

Finn shuffled in, his hands in his pockets timidly. "Is Blaine here?" he asked nervously looking around.

Kurt froze midstream and stared at Finn in amazement. "Does it  _look_ like he's here Finn?"

Finn looked around dumbly, then caught the sarcastic look on Kurt's face. "Ok, you don't have to be mean about it. I was just checking. "

Kurt took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he apologized, remembering the hundreds of times his father had told him to be nice to his brother. "Do you need to talk to Blaine? I'm going to call him in a minute."

"No," Finn said quickly. "I…I don't want to upset him." That garnered Kurt's full attention. "I was wondering if you would tell me his father's address."

Kurt stared at him with his mouth slightly agape. The request itself took him by shock and his mind raced, wondering what Finn could possibly want with Blaine's father. Whatever it was though, it didn't matter, there wasn't a chance he was giving that information to Finn. "No."

"Kurt, please, this has nothing to do with Blaine, I just," he couldn't explain it. He didn't want to explain it to Kurt because Kurt would never understand. And he knew how much Kurt hated Colonel Anderson. But Finn just had some questions and needed someone who could give him answers. "I just need to talk to him, that's all. It's really important to me."

Finn looked at his brother pathetically and Kurt couldn't help but feel bad for the big lug. He wouldn't give him Blaine's address, that wasn't for him to tell. He knew he was likely to regret it, that Blaine would be upset if he found out, but he couldn't stare into Finn's pleading face for one more second. "You can find him at the Army recruiting office in Westerville," he said with a sigh.

Finn's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Thanks man!" he said, slapping Kurt on the back before bounding out of the room.

Kurt rolled his eyes again and closed the door behind Finn. He hoped to never find out what that was all about. But moreso, he hoped that Blaine never did.

* * *

During his drive up to Westerville, Finn recalled all the stories he'd recently learned about his father's bravery and heroism in Kuwait. He remembered the parties he and his mother used to have every Memorial Day when he was young with his Dad's old army buddies. He understood now that his Mom had hosted those parties for him, to keep the good memories of his father alive while she buried the truth of his life after. It had been years since they'd come over, but in the last couple of weeks, Finn was able to look them up and really talk to them about the things his father had done overseas. He knew that the bad didn't outweigh the good and that his father's memory shouldn't have been tarnished by the Army's inability to give him the help he needed to deal with the trauma that they had caused. His father had been honorable in every way. It was the Army that had treated him with dishonor.

And he knew that no one would know that better than Colonel Anderson. Blaine had told him that his father was being treated for PTSD. Finn's own research on the internet had come up pretty bare. He hoped the Colonel would be able to tell him what to do to make things right for his father.

He began wondering how Kurt and Blaine had made this trip so frequently when he finally pulled up to the Army recruiting office in Westerville. He'd called ahead of time to ensure that Colonel Anderson would be there, posing as a student looking to do a paper on an Army Colonel. He parked across the street in the lot and walked across into the storefront sandwiched between Worley Law office and Minuteman Press. Stepping inside he immediately picked out the man who could only be Blaine's father. He was taller than Blaine, maybe the same height as Cooper, and imposing in his Army uniform, with strong hazel eyes that lacked the warmth of his two sons. But there was no denying he looked very much like them.

Finn waited his turn as two other young men spoke with him about enlisting, and he listened with fascination as the Colonel went through the intricacies of expectations, occupational specialties, benefits and basic training. Finn couldn't help but think that it didn't sound too bad, especially the free college education he would receive after he had served his time. Plus, he'd have the chance to do it right and make good of the Hudson name. When he was younger he couldn't wait to follow in his father's footsteps and be the hero that he was. Until football and Glee, it was all he had ever dreamed about. He suddenly wondered how that dream had escaped him so easily. His thoughts turned to Rachel and shook the past from his mind. He had a future to think about. Make things right for his father, marry Rachel, move to New York and be a star. That's what he wanted. Wasn't it?

"May I help you young man?" the Colonel asked, shaking Finn out of his thoughts.

"Yes," he answered quickly stepping up the counter, then added a quick "Sir," remembering how proper Blaine was and rightly assuming it came from his father. "I…umm…I wanted to ask you about dishonorable discharges," he stuttered nervously. He couldn't say why he was nervous, except that he knew Kurt hated this man and Blaine didn't want to love him, and he wasn't entirely certain that he should be there. Still, he came for a reason and he wasn't turning back. "I need to know how to request that a dishonorable discharge be changed to an honorable one."

Colonel Anderson raised his eyebrows. "Is this for a school project?" he asked curiously.

Finn's eyes dropped to the counter that stood between them. "No, Sir," he said quietly. "It's for my father."

Colonel Anderson was quiet for a moment, nodding slowly. "I see. Why did you come here? You don't go to Dalton. One of the High Schools?"

Finn shook his head nervously. "No. I go to McKinley High School.  I'm, um, I'm friends with Blaine."

The Army Colonel eyed him up and down, noticing his Leatherman jacket. "Football?" he guessed. Finn nodded and the Colonel's brow wrinkled. "How does Blaine know you then?"

"I'm also in Glee Club. And I'm Kurt's step-brother," he added, immediately wondering if he shouldn't have, and quickly returned to the reason for his visit. "Please, my father made some mistakes toward the end of the war and once he got home from Kuwait. He really changed over there but," he hesitated, wondering if he should say what he was thinking, then decided he had nothing to lose. "But you understand that Sir, don't you? That's why I came to you, even though I wasn't sure I should. Blaine once told me that even though our fathers weren't heroes to us, he was sure you were heroes to someone."

"Blaine said that?" Colonel Anderson asked, taken aback.

Finn nodded. "And after he said that, I did some research on my father. Turns out he was right."

Finn felt like he was under the microscope as Blaine's father looked him up and down and considered him. He wondered if he had made a huge mistake going there, but he must have said something right. The Colonel came around the counter and put an arm across Finn's shoulders. "Come on, son," he said, guiding him into the backroom. "Let's talk."

* * *

Returning home from dinner at Breadstix, Santana pulled her girlfriend by the arm up the stairs to her bedroom, ignoring her mother's calls to say hello to her father. The moment they entered her room, Santana slammed the door behind her.

"Brittany S. Pearce, why didn't you tell me you weren't graduating?" she accused, her eyes narrow and her hands on her hips.

Brittany shrugged, hating that Santana seemed angry at her. "Because I didn't want anyone getting in trouble for me. I didn't want you barging into Figgens office, or Blaine and Artie hacking into the computer systems, or Puck trying to seduce the teachers because honestly, I've already done that and he doesn't have anything to offer them that I haven't bested."

As Brittany spoke, Santana's anger melted from her face and sadness slowly replaced it. Brittany closed the distance between them and took Santana's hands in her own.  She lifted them up and linked their fingers before swinging them back down again. "Look, it's okay," Brittany said with a smile. "I'm happy here. I'm safe and I'm loved and I'm popular and on top. It won't be like that for me out there."

Santana frowned. "You're safe and loved and popular and often on top," she winked, wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist, pulling her close, "with me. And I am with you. So I should stay."

"No," Brittany shook her head. "I don't want you to change anything Santana. I want you to be a star, whether it's at the top of the pyramid in Kentucky or at the most famous jazz club in New York. I don't want you to stay here for me. Holding you back from your dreams isn't love."

Santana gazed into Brittany's eyes, never loving her more than she did right then. "I love you so much," Santana purred as she grasped Brittany's blond hair and pulled her girlfriends lips to her own. Brittany smiled beneath Santana's kiss and she quickly deepened it. Santana finally pulled away, drawing Brittany to her bed.

"You're my best friend forever," Brittany promised as Santana laid back and she leaned over, placing tiny butterfly kisses all over Santana's smooth skin.

"Make love to me," Santana begged and Brittany was happy to oblige.

* * *

"Brittany, we can go in the pool  _after_  we rehearse, but we have to get this song just right," Tina argued.

"Maybe we just sing in the pool like we did for Mr. Schuester?" Brittany suggested.

"Guys, come on," Blaine said, needing this song to be just perfect. "We'll rehearse for an hour and then we can do whatever."

They were gathered around the grand piano in Sugar's living room which, Blaine thought to himself, could fit his entire apartment inside it. He had played the song through a few times with the parts and harmonies until everyone was familiar with it. It was kind of fun for him to get back to musical directing like he had at Dalton, and he hoped he had more opportunity next year at McKinley. Now he turned around on the bench, Artie next to him in his chair and the others standing, as they sang it through acapella.

_There are places I remember_   
_All my life though some have changed_   
_Some forever not for better_   
_Some have gone and some remain_

The song itself had been his idea. He'd always loved it, but he'd been singing it a lot lately. This last year had brought so many changes. This time last year he was preparing for the Warbler's end of year performance for graduation, a smile perpetually on his lips, despite the fact that he was returning home for the summer, because Kurt loved him. His secret was safe, though he was far from it. Now it had all changed. Except for Kurt's love. That remained.

_All these places have their moments_   
_With lovers and friends I still can recall_   
_Some are dead and some are living_   
_In my life I've loved them all_

Some of his friendships were gone or diminished, but he remembered them and loved them. They served their purpose at the time and he'd had some wonderful new ones to help him move forward even more. Now, looking at the underclassman in the room, he suddenly started to panic. He wasn't close to any of them really. How was he going to get though the next year?

_But of all these friends and lovers_   
_There is no one compares with you_   
_And these memories lose their meaning_   
_When I think of love as something new_

The tears escaped despite himself and though he tried to keep them to himself, the pounding in his heart and head made them flow even more freely. Embarrassed in front of the guys, he quickly excused himself and vanished into the next room away from everyone.

He chastised himself for being so stupid, so emotional. He'd sung countless songs to Kurt, even said goodbye before, but this one felt entirely different though he sang with six other people. It was truly feeling like goodbye, not see you later. With Kurt in New York, there would be no after school and on the weekends, despite Kurt's unrealistic plans. There would be no Warblers to keep him busy and distracted and having fun without Kurt. There would be no best friend to share his secrets with because she was leaving too. No matter how he thought about it, he was being left with no one.

"Can we come in?" a small voice asked and Blaine wiped his eyes quickly on his sleeve, then turned to see Tina and Brittany looking at him compassionately.

He merely nodded and sat down on the beige leather sofa. The girls sat on either side of him and both placed arms around him.

"We know how hard this is for you," Tina tried to comfort him.

"I know how much Santana means to you," Brittany said.

"And Mike too," Tina added. "And we know that we haven't been as close to you as them, but we hope that will change."

"Mike's one of my best friends too, Blaine," Brittany said and Blaine looked up to see her pure smile beaming out at her. "I'm going to need a new dance partner you know," she said to him knowingly.

"And I need a singing partner," Tina encouraged him. "You and I are going to lead New Directions next year, and we can't take the team to another championship with our hearts broken. It's not going to be easy, but the three of us have to stick together if we're going to do our senior year right."

"I know I'm not like Santana," Brittany said. "But I'm a unicorn like Kurt, so when you miss him you can always come find me."

"And when you might have gone off looking for Mike, I'm pretty good at knowing what he would say in most situations," Tina smiled.

"And if you need someone to tell it how it is…" Blaine looked up to see Sam standing in the doorway as well.

"Or you need a little Santana sass…" Artie rolled in.

"We're here as well," Sam finished.

"Are we rehearsing here or what?" Sugar yelled. "Because if not it's time to go swimming!"

Blaine smiled gratefully at every single one of them, squeezing Brittany and Tina tightly to him. He kissed both of them on their cheeks. "Thank you," he whispered to them alone. Then more loudly he added, "To all of you. My family is so much larger than I sometimes think it is."

They returned to the piano to run through the song again, and this time Blaine could get through it without tears flowing, hands held tightly by Tina and Brittany.

_Though I know I'll never lose affection_   
_For people and things that went before_   
_I know I'll often stop and think about them_   
_In my life I love you more_

_In my life I love you more_

* * *

"Well, this is it."

Kurt held the letter in his hand, as he leaned against the locker next to Blaine's. His head was back, his eyes nearly closed as his heart raced wildly.

Blaine looked over at the love of his life, so nervously excited about the possibilities of the future. The possibilities of a year without Blaine. He wanted desperately to be excited too, but he struggled to plaster the smile on his face. Luckily, Kurt was too much in his own world to notice.

"Are you going to come with me?" Kurt asked, lifting his head to look at Blaine.

Blaine kept his eyes in his locker. He knew what Kurt meant, joining him and Rachel and Finn in the choir room, but the words struck him hard. How he wished he could go with him, start their life together in New York this year instead of next. "No, I think I'll just go to the weight room."

Kurt frowned. "But why. This is a big moment, I want you by my side."

Blaine closed his locker and leaned against it, hoping it would keep his knees from buckling underneath him. "Kurt, I can't. When you open that letter and it says 'Welcome to NYADA', your face is going to light up with pure joy. And I don't think I can…" He stopped, his face betraying his sense of dread. How could he tell Kurt that letting him go was killing him? That he didn't have Kurt's faith that they would be okay with distance between them. Everybody turned on him. Everybody left him. How could he tell Kurt that his joy made him want to just curl up and cry?

He didn't have to, because Kurt knew. Kurt knew everything about Blaine and he understood. "I really wish you were coming with me Blaine. But I can't give up my dreams."

"And I would never ask you to. I want you to go after your dreams Kurt, with all the pieces of my broken heart." Kurt reached over and squeezed Blaine's hand, giving him a sad, tight-lipped smile. "Go," Blaine told him, his voice nearly breaking. "They're waiting for you."

"I'll come find you as soon as we all open them. Okay?"

Blaine nodded and watched as Kurt walked off to the choir room. His heart leapt into his throat, nerves skittering through his body. He didn't know if he wanted the letter to say yes or no. They were in a no win situation. Whatever happened now, one of them would lose their dream.

* * *

The possibilities were roaring in his head, as he attempted to knock each one away with a punch on the bag. Kurt being left behind in Lima. Blaine being left behind in Lima. Kurt going. Them breaking up. Should he set Kurt free? Should he try and fight the inevitable? Kurt had been in denial all year but Blaine had not. With every blow he felt more and more as if his life was just a cruel joke, in the hands of a creator who wanted anything but for Kurt and Blaine to live happily ever after.

The sweat flowed from every pore, soaking his gym clothes to the point where he looked as though he'd taken a shower fully clothed. He fought breathlessly, wailing away on the punching bag, knowing that at this very moment his future was being decided in a classroom he was too scared to enter. And then he realized he didn't have to because Kurt was standing before him, the weight room door slamming shut behind him and Blaine just grabbed the bag and froze.

"I didn't get in," Kurt shrugged. He stood for a moment, trying to hold it together, before the tears started to fall down his face, the letter still firmly in his grasp. Blaine stepped to him and Kurt fell into his arms, sobbing. The pain of rejection, the fear of the future all hit him at once and try as he might to be happy that it meant he didn't have to leave Blaine, the loss of all of the dreams of his past year was too much to endure.

Blaine didn't know what to say. His heart leapt with hope while it broke for Kurt and he hated himself for feeling the way that he did. So all he did was hold Kurt tightly and stroke his hair until he calmed down. To Blaine it didn't seem like much, but to Kurt it was enough.

His crying slowed and he sniffled, wiping his nose with his hand. Blaine reached over to his gym bag and pulled out a handkerchief, handing it to Kurt who laughed and blew his nose. Blaine reached up and dried Kurt's tears with his thumbs. "I'm sorry," Kurt apologized, face red and sad.

"Don't be sorry, Kurt. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you didn't get in." As Blaine said it, he realized exactly how true it was. Tina and Brittany's words came to him and in that moment the only thing he wanted was to make everything in Kurt's world right again.

Kurt sniffled, eyes avoiding Blaine's because when he looked into those glowing amber eyes everything became so much more confusing. "It wasn't NYADA Blaine," he said, shaking his head. "It was New York. I needed it. Ohio is suffocating. Having to always be on edge, hide things." He looked at Blaine; devoted, enchanting, gorgeous Blaine. "The only time I can truly breathe is when it's just you and me. And that's not enough."

Blaine cupped his face and kissed him, slow and passionate, full of love and understanding and letting go. Letting go of his own need to have Kurt by his side. Letting go of his fear of setting Kurt free, just when he had the chance to convince him to stay. He pulled away gently, brushing his lips to Kurt's ear. "I know," he whispered. "It will be okay. We'll figure this out."

"I love you," Kurt whispered and for the first time in weeks, Blaine let himself truly feel those words and believe them.

* * *

"So you're really thinking of staying in Lima?" Blaine asked as he and Santana cuddled on his couch watching a movie.

"Honestly, I don't know," she answered. "Brittany doesn't want me to stay for her, but I don't want to leave her either."

Blaine snuggled her closer, nuzzling into her shoulder. "All this time I thought I'd be thrilled if Kurt didn't get in. I never realized how much I wanted him to go until he was staying." He looked up at Santana, puppy dog eyes meeting her strong mocha gaze. "Brittany wants the world for you, and the world is  _not_  in Lima, Ohio." He sat up, resolved. "You and Kurt belong in New York. Together."

Santana stared at him and laughed. "Oh, Boyfriend, think about that for a minute."

"I  _am_  thinking about it," Blaine assured her excitedly. "You two would push each other harder than anyone. Kurt could never be outdone by you and I'm sure that you would never let yourself be outdone by him. The two of you will conquer that city by the time Britt and I come and join you." He grew quieter as his words hit him. "And you'll watch out for one another. You'd never let him do anything stupid. I know if he's with you then I can trust his decisions. Whatever they might be."

Santana reached up and brushed her fingers across his forehead along his hairline. "Kurt loves you. He shows it differently, but he loves you as much as you love him. You mean the world to him." She smiled softly as a tear escaped his eye and she brushed it away. "You and I, we over think everything. We feel everything so strongly. We stress about the future. Kurt and Britt, they take it one day at a time. Doesn't mean they love us less."

"I know," Blaine said quietly as he returned his head to Santana's shoulder. "I'll just miss him so much. Everything reminds me of him. I have no place to go that's just mine."

"You have one place," Santana started, but she was interrupted by the front door opening. They both sat up startled as Mrs. Anderson came through the door with two bags of groceries.

"Mom?" Blaine asked. "What are you doing home?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she said, putting the bags on the kitchen table and walking through to the living room. "Aren't you supposed to be on your way to your father's house?"

"Yeah," Blaine said dismissively. "Not going."

Mrs. Anderson sat down with a sigh next to Blaine and he backed himself even closer into Santana. The girl could almost feel his heart beating rapidly against her chest and she grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"Blaine, honey, I let you stay home from dinner and counseling last week, but you are not making a habit of this." She took his free hand and brushed a thumb over his knuckles. "I know things didn't go well the last time, but the more you distance yourself from him the harder it will be to go back."

"What if I don't want to go back?" Blaine grumbled.

"Then you'll regret it someday." She patted his hand and got up. "Come on. I have a letter I need him to get by tomorrow. It's too late to mail it. Go see him at the recruiting office and deliver it if you won't go to dinner. I'll let him know you're coming." She went to her room and came out with a large white envelope.

"And what were you going to do if I wasn't home?" Blaine asked angrily.

His mother just looked at him in response and he knew. She would have gone over there herself tonight after he'd left. He was caught between a rock and a hard place, but he would do whatever he could to prevent her spending the night with him. "Fine," he said, getting up and snatching it from her fingers. "But Santana is coming with me."

"I am?" She stood up surprised until Blaine glared at her and she put her hands on her hips. "I am."

Blaine grabbed her hand and without a second glance back to his mother, dragged her out the door.

* * *

The car ride was quiet on their way to Westerville. Santana had never met Blaine's father before and she had never really had much of a desire to. She wasn't sure how she would feel, finally seeing the man who had done the things he had to her best friend. She warned Blaine that she didn't know if she'd be able to remain diplomatic.

"That's okay, 'Tana, I'm kind of at that point as well. We'll just go in quickly, give him the letter and leave. One, two, three."

Something told her it wasn't going to be that easy. Her fears came to fruition when she spied a very familiar car in the parking lot across the street from the recruiting office. "Isn't that Finn's truck over there?" Santana wondered aloud.

Blaine's eyes narrowed, wondering if maybe Kurt had gone to see his father for some reason, but he didn't think his boyfriend would do that without telling him. He barreled toward the office, his mind going in a million different directions, and Santana had to run to keep up with him.

He threw open the doors to see Finn in a near embrace with his father, hands clasped and Colonel Anderson patting Finn on the back.

"What the hell is going on here?" Blaine shouted, startling his father and the boy he thought of as nearly a brother-in-law.

"Blaine!" Finn startled, and he stuttered nervously. "I…I didn't know you were going to be here."

"I could say the same thing, Finn. Do you two want to explain what's going on?" Blaine glared at both men, the envelope completely forgotten in his hand as anger melted into a sense of betrayal he didn't fully understand.

Colonel Anderson watched Finn, allowing the boy to speak for himself. Finn shuffled forward, seeing Santana for the first time, and hunched his shoulders with even less nerve than he'd had a moment ago.

"I, um," he said shuffling his feet. "I enlisted. Took my ASVAB, the um, the Army Services Vocational Aptitude Battery," he explained checking in with the Colonel, who nodded, to make sure he got the name right. "I passed. Did pretty well too," he said proudly. "So, I'm going to be going off to Georgia soon."

Blaine just stood dumbfounded, not having any idea what to say, but Santana spoke up immediately. "Does Rachel know?"

Finn shook his head. "Not yet. She's all excited about the wedding, and I haven't really decided what to do yet. I need to talk to Mom and Burt now that I know I'm in."

"But you're not staying in Lima," Blaine said, flatly, the entirety of the situation finally hitting him. Finn shook his head. Blaine looked squarely at his father. "And you did this," he accused.

"What?" Finn started. "No, he didn't. I mean, this was my idea. I came to him before Nationals to ask him to help me get an honorable discharge for my Dad. And as soon as he found out I was Kurt's brother, he did everything he could to help me. But the Army still said no. So I asked him about enlisting and he helped me through the process. It was entirely my idea. I was going nowhere fast. I couldn't just go to New York with no plan and I couldn't stay in Lima. I've been dreaming about this since I was a little kid, following in my Dad's footsteps. I had forgotten, but your Dad helped me remember."

Blaine's eyes softened. He looked at his father. Colonel Anderson gazed back at Blaine, with what Blaine could only call hope. He didn't know how to deal with it, and he looked down, noticing the forgotten envelope. "Mom asked me to give you this," he said, tossing his delivery on the counter.

"Guys, please don't tell anyone about this yet," Finn begged. "I love Rachel so much, but somehow I feel like this is just right, you know? Her staying here for me, isn't what's best for her."

"Setting her free," Santana said softly, looking at Blaine. She saw his face, so mixed with sadness and understanding. She sighed. "Seems the common theme around here lately."

* * *

Kurt and Blaine watched as the train to New York pulled away, Rachel alone and heartbroken inside it, Finn running the whole way beside her until he couldn't run anymore. Blaine's heart ached for him. He would have done the same thing, had it been Kurt.

Kurt. Blaine looked over at him just as his brow puckered and his smiling face fell into a frown. Blaine reached over and took his hand, his eyes squinting with worry. "You okay?" he asked softly.

"I should have been next to her." Kurt dropped his head on Blaine's shoulder.

Blaine kissed him softly, leading him back to the car. "Come on. We'll talk to your Dad. He'll know what to do."

* * *

Burt walked in the door, fresh off the airplane from DC, to find Kurt and Blaine at the kitchen table. Kurt was face down against an outstretched arm that reached nearly the length of the wooden surface. Blaine looked up at Burt with a worried look.

"How long has he been like that?" Burt nonchalantly asked Blaine as he rolled his carry-on to the base of the stairs. He went to the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water before leaning against the counter.

"Since we got home from the train station," Blaine told him. "We came in and pretty much immediately he plopped himself down and he's been like this ever since. Been about," Blaine checked his watch with a frown, "an hour now."

Burt raised an eyebrow, first at Blaine, then Kurt. "What are you doing, son?" he asked Kurt, his tone almost amused.

"Wallowing," Kurt murmured into his arm.

"Well wallow while you can, kid. You got two days." Burt chugged the remainder of his water, then reached into a side drawer built into the kitchen counter and pulled something out.

"What's in two days?" Kurt asked miserably.

"In two days we put Finn on a train to Georgia and you are going to stand with your head tall and smile like I'm sure you did with Rachel today. And then when we get home, the three of us," he said looking to Blaine, "are going to go through this." Burt walked over and slammed a manila folder down on the table startling Kurt upright.

Kurt looked at it and moaned. "The back-up plan folder you forced me to put together."

"Boy Scout motto, Be Prepared," Burt said proudly, sitting next to him.

"The Boy Scouts don't allow gays, Dad," Kurt complained.

"Well they should," Burt told him. "You'd be better prepared and they would have better uniforms."

"Bowties instead of bandana scarves," Kurt quipped, grasping Blaine's hand and throwing him a coy smile.

"I didn't know you had this folder, Kurt," Blaine said surprised as he reached over to open it and looked through. His eyebrow raised at some of the possibilities in there and he could see that as many options were chosen by Burt as by Kurt.

"Doesn't matter," Kurt said with a tight smile to Blaine. "The universe is obviously telling me to stay in Lima with you and Dad another year. Rachel will be in the dorms at NYADA. I can't go to New York on my own."

"Blaine," Burt said suddenly. "Would you do me a favor? In the drawer of my desk in my office are a few more pamphlets I stashed. Would you mind going to get them?"

"Sure, Burt," Blaine nodded.

Blaine went to the little room that had been transitioned into an office for Burt once he'd been elected to congress. He searched through the drawers until he found what Burt had sent him for. There were pamphlets to a number of acting, singing and fashion programs affiliated with various theaters and fashion designers in the city. None were university based, but as Blaine sat and looked at them briefly, a lot of them looked fabulous. He couldn't help but smile, imagining Kurt doing what he was born to do instead of waiting around Lima for another year working at his Dad's tire shop. He gathered them up and closed the drawer, bringing them back into the kitchen. But he stopped just outside, out of sight, as he heard Burt and Kurt talking.

"I know you're worried about him without you kid," Burt said gently. "But Blaine needs to do this on his own as much as you need to move on from here. Everything you've done for him has given him the strength he needs. But as long as you're here, he's got one foot out that door and he'll never need to resolve things with his parents. They are his family Kurt. I know that someday you want to be and I have no doubt that you two will fight for that as long as you both want it. But he'll never be entirely yours until he can settle things with his Mom and Dad. Does that make sense?"

Blaine didn't hear an answer, but Burt's words hit him to the core. Burt was right. He clung to Kurt not only because he loved him with all his heart but because Kurt always gave him a way out. He'd been terrified all this year anticipating life without that. But he didn't want to live his life in fear. And he certainly didn't want his own fear holding Kurt back.

He took a deep breath and plastered on a smile, as if he hadn't heard anything that was just shared between the two men. "Here are the pamphlets!" he bounded into the kitchen.

"Thanks Blaine." Burt took them and tucked them back into the folder, closing it and getting up to put it back into the drawer. "Two days Kurt," Burt said with a smile before heading off to his room.

Kurt gave Blaine a soft smile, but Blaine's was darker, more seductive. His eyes bore into Kurt's and suddenly blue eyes narrowed and sparkled. Blaine tickled Kurt's palms before linking their fingers and pulling him to the bedroom.  He locked the door behind them. "Two more days of denial is a long time," Blaine smirked suggestively.

Kurt arched an eyebrow and grinned. "48 hours to be exact."

Blaine slowly unbuttoned Kurt's shirt and rubbed his hands over his smooth alabaster skin, leaning in to leave small kisses everywhere. Kurt's eyes rolled back and closed with pleasure. "We can do a lot in 48 hours," he said in between kisses.

Kurt moaned and pulled Blaine down onto the bed, pulling Blaine's shirt off above his head. "I say we start at the very beginning."

"A very good place to start."

Their eyes sparkled as they made love, forgetting for the moment the what-ifs and the unknowns and focusing only on what was here and now and right before their eyes.

* * *

Blaine pulled up to the house late that night. He'd driven around for awhile, going back and forth in his mind until he came to terms that this was, in fact, exactly what he wanted and needed to do. He cut the headlights shining into the bay windows, but the glow in the windows already alerted his father to his presence. Colonel Anderson opened the door and watched as Blaine exited the car.

"It's kind of late, son," he said gently. "Everything okay?"

Blaine walked cautiously to the front door, his thumbs linked in the back pockets of his jeans. He stopped midway up the driveway, the distance feeling both safe and wrong at the same time. He longed for the day when he felt as comfortable with his own father as he did with Kurt's. "I thought maybe we could talk?" he asked hesitantly.

Colonel Anderson opened the door widely. "Come on in."

Blaine took a deep breath and followed his father inside, hovering around the couch, where his father took a seat and looked up to him. Blaine had planned a speech but it went out the window standing there in the living room where so much had happened. "I don't…" he stuttered, nerves getting the best of him, but he took a deep breath and started again. "I don't want it to be like this."

Colonel Anderson looked up at his son. For the past year he had been trying. Every day since Blaine left he tried to get past the hatred, the fear, the flashbacks that had fueled their relationship since he'd returned from the war. He knew that some days he did better than others. And he realized that none of the bad days were excusable. "I don't want it to be like this either," he said mournfully. "Finn told me what you said, about being a hero. I wish I had been able to be a hero to you."

Blaine looked to the floor, unable to meet his father's eyes. "I wish you had to," he swallowed. "But I meant what I said. I know that somewhere across the world you are someone's hero. And that means something to me."

"It's ironic that my most heroic day on the battlefield was the same day that put enough hate in my heart to turn on my youngest son." The words caught Blaine off guard and his eyes met his father's briefly before the Colonel turned away. "Someday I will tell you the story." His father's voice was softer than Blaine had ever heard him, and his eyes sadder. "But not today."

Blaine considered his father. His eyes looked like his own had so many times, far away, seeing images, feeling pain of the past not the present. He knew now what Kurt must feel like staring into his hazel eyes at those times. Wanting to pull him out, but not wanting to intrude on the private moment inside his head. Kurt always just waited and so Blaine waited too, until his father looked up at him with a sorrowful smile. And then Blaine told him what he came to say.

"Kurt's going to be going to New York in the fall," Blaine said warily as the sadness washed over him again. "I don't know what he's doing yet, but I am pretty certain he's going. There's no place for me here that doesn't have a million reminders of him. School, Mom's apartment, Dalton, our coffee shop. They are filled with memories and I know that sometimes it will be overwhelming. I need a place without them." He looked at his Dad, begging him to understand. " _This_  is my one place. But I need it to be safe."

Colonel Anderson appreciated Blaine's honesty. For him this house had a million memories, of his loving wife, his wild child Cooper, and his always sensitive boy Blaine. He escaped all too frequently to the base or the office in town. He owed Blaine a thousand apologies, but his pride prevented him from doing so. He could give him this. "You are safe here, Blaine. I promise you that."

Blaine just nodded, not knowing what to say and not knowing what to do. He looked around and his eyes were drawn to the racks behind the television. "Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked for the first time in six or seven years.

Blaine saw the momentary shock on his father's face before it rested into a soft smile. "I'd like that."

Blaine went to the wall and pulled out The Two Towers, the one he knew to be his father's favorite of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. After putting it in the DVD player and dimming the lights, he sat, the two side by side. Halfway through the movie he flinched when his father reached over to place a hand on his knee, but quickly relaxed as he felt a comforting squeeze and looked into warm eyes. He couldn't remember the last time his father had looked at him that way, but he never wanted to let it go. It terrified Blaine. He waited for the other shoe to drop.

_I can't do this, Sam._

There was so much pain and hurt between them. Pain they'd experienced together and separately. Hurt they'd caused one another. Once upon a time, they had been just a normal family, then everything changed. Was it even possible for them to move on from that? Was it possible for Blaine to find a way out of the darkness and into the light?

_I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer._

_Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something._

Blaine had held on because he had Dalton and Nick and Kurt by his side. He held on because though his entire world was changing, Santana and Kurt and Tina and Brittany would always be there for him. He held on because he knew there was a future out there, in New York with Kurt where they would someday make a life for themselves and raise a family. He would someday be the father he had never had.

_What are we holding onto, Sam?_

_That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo…and it's worth fighting for._

But first he had to get through his senior year. And he would. For two years, Kurt had been his light in the darkness, but Burt was right. It was time for him to do it on his own. He would fight every darkness and danger that threatened him, and he would fight his way out of Lima, Ohio, just like Kurt, and into a world that accepted him and loved him and allowed him to spend a lifetime with the love of his life by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some amazing people to thank for the existence of this story.
> 
> First and foremost: To my readers. It's all for you. I am so blessed to write, but writing for myself brings me only a little pleasure. Writing for you, especially for those of you who like the show better after my chapters, that's what this is all about. So if you haven't reviewed yet, or even if you have, I hope to hear from each and every one of you.
> 
> None of this story would have been at all possible without my AMAZING beta, typegirl 19. She is magic. Every time I was stuck, every time I doubted myself, every time I needed inspiration, she was there for me 100%. 
> 
> MuseInMe3 and StarGleekBelle, my writing buddies who are with me every step of the way. So much of this fic is for you guys.
> 
> RIB, Darren, Chris and Naya: Without them this story is not even close to possible. Their brilliance, their characters, the world they have created that allows hundreds of us writers to tell thousands of stories in their universe – to me every mistake made is an opportunity and I love you for your strengths and your weaknesses.
> 
> My final dedication is to the Blaine Anderson's out there, the children like my Blaine who suffer in silence, with trauma beyond what any little heart should have to deal with. And to the veterans who come back with too little support and too much pain. I love you all.
> 
> See you for season 4!


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